


Can't Let You Go

by simplymoa



Series: Can't Let You Go [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-12
Updated: 2011-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 21:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 112,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4850795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplymoa/pseuds/simplymoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_*THE INTERVIEW*_

_“I can’t really put it into words…what I was feeling at that exact moment, because it only ever happened to me that one time,” Adam Lambert said, raising his eyebrows and smiling. “That’s the honest truth too.”_

_Taking a deep breath, he raked his hand through his hair and blew out that same breath. “Does that make any sense? Because it didn’t sound like it did.”_

_Laughing, he placed his hands in his lap and folded them to stop them from shaking. For some reason, he was nervous and interviews rarely ever made him nervous. “Seriously, when I sat down next to him and just started mumbling everything and anything out loud, I had no idea who he even was. I was just ticked off that I even let myself get dragged there in the first place and for some reason, I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut…I’m surprised he didn’t slap me, to be totally honest.”_

_Looking over to the man next to him, he smiled. “And then…when I finally took the time to look at him, I mean really look at him, I just knew it in my gut…he was the one.”_

_“I’m totally in agreement there,” Kris Allen said, smiling. “When he first sat down and just started mumbling a bunch of profanities left, right and centre, my first reaction was to just hightail it right out of there, but for some strange reason, I didn’t.”_

_Laughing, he looked straight ahead and turned serious. “I didn’t even want to acknowledge that I’d heard him at first, but then I found myself falling into the same rut. Within a few seconds, I was mumbling the same thing back to him. And seriously…I rarely ever swear._

_“It’s funny now…to look back and think about it…but at the time, I was just as ticked as he was about being there,” Kris said sincerely._

_Turning to Adam, he smiled and winked. “And then I glanced over at him and took my sunglasses off…and in my heart…I knew right then and there…he was the one.”_

 

________________________________________

 

“Jesus, you two…cut me some slack here, I didn’t even want to come in the first place,” Adam mumbled quietly, but loud enough for his two friends to hear.

“Adam…stop with the pity party already, would ya?” Lee Cherry huffed, roughly tossing a towel to his friend.

“This isn’t just any pity party I’m having, Lee.” The towel hit him square in the face and he yanked it down, growling. “You two just do whatever the hell you want and I’ll do whatever the hell I want.”

Lee’s wife, Scarlett stopped and waited for Adam to catch up with them, throwing her husband an aggravated look. “Would you two just please knock it off? We all came here for a vacation.” Shaking her head, she grabbed Adam’s arm and locked hers with it. “Adam…you need to relax and just have fun and Lee…you need to back off and worry about _me_. After all,” she said sweetly, “this is our anniversary.”

“What?” Adam huffed, stopping and withdrawing his arm from Scarlett’s. “Are you making fun of my failure to keep any relationship?”

“Not at all,” she replied, frowning. “Lighten up, okay?”

“It’s a little hard to lighten up when my whole world is crashing down around me,” Adam replied, taking steps towards the empty lounge chairs just outside the perimeter of the in-ground pool.

“Here he goes with the pity party again,” Lee repeated, rolling his eyes.

That did it. Adam stopped short of the lounge chairs that he was originally headed for and threw his towel down to the ground. “And why can’t I have a pity party? You have something against it?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “Actually, I do.” Lee stopped and yanked his hand away from Scarlett, who was desperately trying to keep the peace. “So what if you just got dumped? So what if your relationships never last that long?” Raking his hand through his hair, Lee threw his towel down on the ground as well. “You have your career, your friends, Adam…isn’t that enough for you anymore?”

Adam mumbled something incoherent under his breath, his blood pressure quickly on its way up to boiling point.

“You’re probably the richest goddamn person here at this resort…you’re probably one of the only ones here that actually paid for this damn vacation with cash…cash, Adam…not with a credit card and not with money set aside for your kid’s college fund…like we did. I’m sorry, buddy, but I don’t see why I should feel sorry for you…I just don’t.”

Adam bent down and grabbed his towel, mumbling along the way.

“He’s right, Adam,” Scarlett said, bending down and picking up her husband’s towel. “We asked you to come along because we thought you could use a little vacation and forget about shit back home…now can we just all get along for the next two weeks or am I gonna have to keep you separated?”

Adam looked over at Scarlett, a smile forming on his lips. She was right…he needed to forget about shit back home and relax. He hadn’t had a vacation in over a year and it was definitely due.

“That’s better,” she replied, noticing the smile on his lips. “We’ll leave you alone and catch up with you for dinner, sound good?”

“Yeah,” Adam replied, throwing his towel on the first empty lounge chair he saw. “Sounds just peachy.”

Lee grabbed Scarlett’s hand, frowning at Adam. “See ya around.”

Adam made his way around the lounge chairs and took a seat on the one where his towel landed. Unfortunately, it just happened to be next to a lounge chair that was occupied…but at this particular time, he really didn’t give a shit.

Plopping down in the chair, he took in his surroundings and sighed. If he couldn’t relax here, he couldn’t relax anywhere. It _was_ a beautiful place. And it should be for the price he’d paid. Nearly five thousand dollars. It cost him five thousand dollars to book a two-week vacation at Allegro’s Diamond Resort in Cozumel. And that didn’t even include any of his drinks…and he was sure that he’d be having at least a couple of those…every hour. He shook his head at that thought.

He probably was one of the richest people here…if not the richest and here he was getting his boxers all in a bunch over the cost. He needed to find something else to think about and he needed to do it fast.

“I should’ve just stayed the fuck home…should’ve saved the goddamn money for a new mixer or some other shit like that…should’ve fucking gave up on the relationship a year ago…what the hell was I thinking?”

Prying his eyes away from his book, the man next to Adam looked up and straight in front of him.

Adam noticed the movement right away out of the corner of his eye, but didn’t look over at the man. Instead, he just mumbled, “Let me guess…I’m talking too damn loud for you, right?”

Without a word, the man shook his head.

“What is it then?”

“Nothing,” he replied softly.

Adam leaned over and glanced at the book. “You come to a resort like this to read?”

“Maybe,” he replied, still looking straight ahead. “I really don’t see where it’s any of your business, though.”

He let out a snort and leaned back again to rest his head on the lounge chair. “Fine…I’ll mind my own business then.”

“Good…I wish you would.”

“What the hell is your problem anyway?”

The man lifted his book and dropped his head to read. “I thought you said you were going to mind your own business.”

“Ah fuck…fine.”

“Did your mother teach you to talk that way?” he asked, dropping his book again and staring straight ahead.

“Is my swearing bothering you?” Adam asked sarcastically. “Well, I’m sorry…but I just don’t give a shit right now…I don’t even want to be here anyway…you don’t like it…get up and move to another lounge chair.”

The man let out a little laugh, but continued to stare straight ahead.

“What the hell is so funny?”

“Ah…nothing really,” he replied, dropping his book to the ground and lying back against his chair as well. “I just didn’t think there’d actually be someone else here who felt the same way I do.”

Following his lead, Adam let out a little laugh too. “You don’t want to be here either?”

“Hell no…I’d much rather be at home…sulking in the privacy of my home…having my pity party in private.”

Adam leaned his head over and whispered, “Shit…me too.”

“Then why the hell are we here?” he asked, laughing.

“Beats the hell out of me,” he answered. “I fucking let my friends talk me into it…how about you?”

“Same shit here too,” he replied. “My friend and her husband dragged me along…and as much as I didn’t want to…I couldn’t refuse a free vacation.”

“Free?” Adam choked out.

“Yeah…they paid for it…told me I needed to get away from home and relax…forget about things.”

“Sounds familiar,” Adam replied flatly. “Only mine wasn’t so free.”

“Oh…sorry to hear that.” Wiping the sweat off his nose, the man laughed. “So what’d this cost you?”

“Oh…” Adam trailed. “Not too much,” he lied.

“Damn…it’s hot out.”

“No kidding,” he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “I’d much rather be in air conditioning, having my pity party.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah?” he asked, sitting up. “Does your room have air conditioning?”

“Hell no,” he laughed. “Does yours?”

“No,” Adam huffed. “But it should for the price although it does have a straw roof.”

“Same shit here.”

Swinging his legs over to her side, he stopped dead in his tracks when he looked down at the man. He was beautiful…absolutely beautiful…breathtakingly beautiful.

He removed his sunglasses and turned his head to Adam. “You’re not leaving, are you? I was having fun going off on this damn vacation.”

Adam laughed but stopped short when he took a good look at those eyes. They were brown. Leaning down, he peered into them.

“Something wrong?” the guy asked.

“No,” he said, short of breath. “Not at all.” Sitting back, he had to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Just wondering if you felt like heading back to my room to bitch some more.”

“Your room?” he asked, sitting up. “I don’t even know you.”

Adam let his head roll over to the side so that he could see him. He couldn’t articulate a reply. Not one single word. His beauty had completely stolen the words right out from under him. “Oh…well, we could head back to your room then.”

“What?” he asked, laughing. “I still don’t know you, either way.”

Smiling, Adam extended his hand. “I’m Adam,” he said quickly. Not a single thought had crossed his mind about lying about who he was. And never…not once…did that ever happen. He always either lied or at least contemplated lying. And for some strange reason…this time, neither came to mind.

Reaching out, the guy shook Adam’s hand and made no attempt at retrieving it once the shake was accomplished. “Nice to meet you, Adam …I’m Kris.”

With their hands still clasped together, Adam stood. “My room or your room, Kris?”

He pulled Kris up and nervously bit his bottom lip. “Um…either is fine.”

Leaning in, Adam whispered in his ear, “You aren’t bunking with your friends, are you?”

Kris laughed, shaking his head. “You?”

“For the price I paid?” he spat out. “I’d better not be.” Making his way out from between the lounge chairs, he stopped. “Do you want to grab your book?”

“Nah,” he replied. “I’ll get it later.”

 

________________________________________

 

Kris tried to keep his cool and act unaffected by their hands still clasped together, but he was having a difficult time. The minute his hand touched Adam’s, he’d felt completely at ease and sexually charged. Something he hadn’t felt in quite some time.

Shaking the thought from his head, he tried to free his hand of Adam’s grasp once they were only feet from his door, but his grip only tightened.

“Come on,” he urged. “This’ll be fun…we can just sit around and bitch.”

Kris laughed, fighting back the urge to turn around and run. “If you say so,” he whispered, quietly submerged in his own thoughts. He knew going back to a stranger’s room probably wasn’t the smartest move he’d ever made, but Adam was one helluva damn good-looking stranger.

It didn’t make Kris feel any better, knowing that Adam was good-looking, but it did ease the tension somewhat. And quite honestly, he hadn’t felt this alive in almost three years.

Three years…

Tomorrow would be exactly three years to the date that he had said his final goodbye to the love of his life. The date that had changed his life and forever left him with a bitter feeling of loneliness that he still hadn’t been able to overcome.

“Um, Adam,” he hesitated, pulling back.

Unlocking his door, Adam dropped Kris’s hand and turned around. “Yeah?”

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…”

His smile made Kris’s knees weak. Another thing Kris hadn’t experienced in a long time.

Adam reached up and grabbed his arm, tugging it. “What’re you afraid of?”

Kris instantly took a step back and dropped his gaze. Could Adam really tell? Was it that obvious?

“I’m not gonna try and make a move on you if that’s what’re afraid of.” Adam laughed out loud. “Now…if I was about ten years younger here, I just might have.”

Kris fidgeted under Adam’s intense stare and for the very first time he noticed Adam’s blue eyes. “Your eyes are amazing.”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling. “Yours are too, I might add.”

“Thanks,” he shyly responded.

When Adam stepped foot inside his room, Kris stopped short of following him. “How old are you anyway?”

When Adam turned around, Kris could instantly tell that he was amused by the question. “Almost thirty and you?”

“Younger than you.”

“Obviously. How much younger?” Adam asked, raising his eyebrows. “Are we talking months, years, decades?”

“Decades?” Kris lashed back. “Thanks a lot. I’m not a kid.” Shooting Adam a disgusted look, he smiled. “Four years.”

“So that’d make you twenty-six then…you aren’t that much younger,” he replied, walking into the room further.

Swallowing hard, Kris took a deep breath. “Are you taken?” Dropping his head instantly, he belittled himself for asking Adam that. It wasn’t any of his business really, but he wanted to know. Kris hadn’t noticed any ring on Adam’s finger, but that was hardly a way to judge anything nowadays.

“No, I’m not,” Adam replied, with his back still turned to Kris.

Something in his voice made Kris uneasy with his answer. “You sure?”

Slowly Adam turned around and instead of the smile he had plastered on his face only seconds ago, he looked forlorn. “Positive…we broke up three months ago.”

Broke up? Oops…Adam didn’t look real impressed with his question and Kris wondered if he might’ve hit a sore spot. “Oh…I’m sorry.”  
“I’m not,” he retorted. “Shouldn’t have probably gotten together in the first place and definitely shouldn’t have prolonged it for as long as I did.” Stepping back a few paces, he dropped to the king-size bed. “Since we’re on this line of questioning,” he said, pointing to his left hand and then to Kris’s. “I see you’re wearing a wedding ring.”

“Yeah,” Kris nodded, looking down at his left hand.

“Is your wife here?”

Without so much as a thought, Kris looked back up at him and didn’t falter. “Husband. And yeah…in spirit.” Shutting the door behind him, Kris walked completely into the room and took a good look around. Adam’s room was an exact duplicate of his, down to the pictures on the wall. “Sorry now that you invited me in?”

“No, not at all,” Adam affirmed, shrugging. “Should I be?”

Kris shrugged back.

He pointed to the empty chair on the other side of the room. “How long have you been a widower?”

Kris was making his way to the chair when Adam’s question stopped him dead in his tracks. “You know?”

“It wasn’t too hard to figure out…you said he was here in spirit.” Clearing his throat, he continued, “Is that why your friends dragged you here? To help with the mourning process?”

Without moving an inch, Kris gulped down the swollen lump in his throat. He had never spoken to anyone about Brian’s death…not even his own overly-concerned parents…but here he was, in Cozumel, in a complete stranger’s room and for the first time…he was actually going to talk about something he didn’t even like to think about.

And despite the fact that he’d never talked about Brian’s death, the truth of the matter was…he wanted to talk about it. He needed to talk about it. “I’ve been mourning for three years.”

Hearing Adam get up from the bed, Kris grew tense with each second that passed by. Instead of taking the few extra steps to the chair though, he held completely still and waited. Waited for what? He didn’t know…but he waited nonetheless.

When he felt Adam’s hands grasp his arms, Kris closed his eyes. Adam was getting too close now and Kris was letting him. He felt Adam lean over; his breath against the back of Kris’s neck. “He must’ve been one helluva guy.”

The combination of Adam’s voice and the air escaping his lungs, gave Kris goosebumps, making him shudder slightly. “He was.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Willing himself not to cry, Kris closed his eyes. “I’ve been wanting to talk about it for three years.”

“I’ve got time,” Adam replied, mouth still next to his ear. “If you do.”

Nodding, Kris didn’t move. He was afraid to move. He was afraid of what he might do and afraid of what he shouldn’t do.

Adam dropped his hands and moved to Kris’s side to stand next to him. Grabbing his hand, Adam turned them around and headed back towards the bed.

“Um…Adam…I’m not used to being a one-night stand,” Kris whispered when he saw where they were headed.

Adam remained silent until they were both standing at the foot of the bed. Moving his head slightly, he smiled at Kris. “I can tell.”

Kris’s eyes widened. “You can tell? How?”

Leaning in to Kris, Adam lowered his voice. “You’re shaking.” Adam lowered himself onto the ground, pulling Kris along with him. “I’m not looking for a one-night stand so relax…I told you I wasn’t going to make a move on you, remember?”

Kris nodded.

“I’m pretty good at keeping my word.”

Once they were both seated on the floor, Adam leaned against the foot of the bed and maneuvered Kris so that he was sitting directly between his spread legs; his back against Adam’s chest. Placing his hands on Kris’s thighs, Adam tapped him. “Thought maybe you’d be more comfortable talking about it if you weren’t looking directly at me.”

“Thanks,” Kris whispered. Adam knew just what to do.

“So…how long were you two married?”

Kris sighed, closing his eyes and letting his mind wander back to his wedding day. He’d heard Adam’s question, but he was too lost in his memories to answer that one particular question. “We met right out of college and within ten months we were married.”

“Wow…ten months and you knew, huh?”

“Yeah,” Kris replied quietly. “I truly believe that when you meet someone, you know within the first five minutes of that initial meeting whether or not you’re meant to be. Call it craziness or call it intuition …but I honestly believe that.”

Adam remained silent while Kris took a deep breath.

“But we knew it from the very first moment and we didn’t want to wait…so we didn’t. Brian had just come out of a four-year run with the Army and I was just starting my career.” Kris opened his eyes and laughed silently. “If I would’ve known that he was going to die just two years later…I would’ve insisted that we had gotten married after only a month…just to have more time with him.”

Hearing Adam sigh, Kris turned his head slightly to see him. “I’m sorry, am I boring you?”

Quickly, Adam shook his head. “No…absolutely not…go on.”

Turning back around, Kris stared at the rose colored wall and focused on the picture of the palm trees nestled side by side. “Shortly after us meeting, he decided re-enlisting for another four years was out of the question. He was in limbo on that decision for a while, but after giving it a lot of thought…he decided that being in the Army Reserves would satisfy his love for the Army.”

“Army,” Adam whispered.

Allowing the tears to flow, Kris continued, “So that’s what he did for the two years we were married…never thinking in a million years that he’d actually be called to active duty. But when the Iraq War started, his troop was one of the first ones to go.”

“Wow,” Adam mumbled into Kris’s hair.

Remembering back to their final goodbye, Kris closed his eyes. “I honestly thought that he’d be back in a few months…a year tops…but it wasn’t the case. He left and never came home.”

Feeling Adam’s arms close around him, Kris sighed as Adam hugged him. “I’m sorry…”

“Me too,” Kris replied. “All twenty-six of his troops perished when a missile landed on their headquarters. The last time I heard his voice was when we said our goodbyes at the airport, two months earlier. He never even had the opportunity to call.”

“Oh wow,” Adam quietly said. “Did you at least get to write?”

“I didn’t receive any of his letters until after he’d died…when the Army hand delivered them to me at his funeral.” Taking a deep breath, Kris wiped away his tears. “I’ve never told anyone any of that…and to this day, I’ve never read any of those letters.”

“I can understand why,” Adam honestly replied.

“It’d be too painful to read them,” Kris nodded. “I still have them but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to read them.”

Adam brought his hand up and ran it down the back of Kris’s head.

“I’ve never dated anyone since, either…not even so much as one single date…never even thought about it.” Prying himself out Adam’s hold, Kris scooted forward and turned around to face him. “I know you’re gonna think this is weird…but I made a promise to him when we said our goodbyes.”

“A promise?” Adam asked.

Looking down, he nodded. “I promised him that I’d wait for him…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Kris looked up when Adam didn’t make any attempt at responding to his last statement. Seeing the tears in Adam’s eyes, he gasped. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Adam managed a little smile and cocked his head to the side. “It sounds like you two had a wonderful marriage.”

“We did,” Kris replied earnestly. “We really did…we rarely ever fought.” Looking away, he swallowed. “So…do you want to talk about your love life?”

Adam let out a shallow laugh. “I’m afraid my love life pales in comparison to yours.”

Placing his hand on Adam’s knee, Kris smiled. “Don’t let that stop you…please, I’d love to hear about it.” Kris removed his hand when he noticed Adam staring at it. “If you want, I can turn back around…make it easier for you.”

Adam smiled at Kris’s kindness. He didn’t even think that type of kindness even existed in the world anymore. Reaching out to stop Kris from turning around, he shook his head. “You don’t need to turn around…besides, you’re much better to look at this way.”

Adam could’ve sworn Kris was blushing from his comment and his first instinct was to pull Kris into his arms and kiss him. Instead, he opted for opening up to Kris as well. He wasn’t given many opportunities to tell his side of the story.

“Well…let’s see…my ex-boyfriend and I were together for nearly five years.”

Kris’s eyes grew wide. “Five years and you never thought about getting married? My goodness…”

“Yeah…probably should’ve been my first indication that we weren’t meant to be together, I know.” Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, “And it was an on again, off again relationship.”

“Doesn’t sound too good.”

“It wasn’t,” he replied flatly. “But…I wouldn’t listen to anyone’s advice so I guess I got what I deserved.”

“Ouch,” Kris said, scrunching up his nose.

“Yeah.” Resting his hands on his thighs, Adam gazed into Kris’s eyes. They were so clear that he swore he could read Kris’s every thought. “But after five years…I guess I was used to having him around.”

Kris looked at Adam with a sadness that was genuine. Adam could tell that almost instantly. Kris honestly felt bad for him…when no one else ever really did.

“He’ll tell you a different story if you ask him, but I honestly tried to keep our relationship together…even offered to go to couples therapy.” Sighing, Adam folded his arms in front of him. “He didn’t want to be any part of it though, so instead, he just kept insisting that I was having an affair and until I’d admit it, he wouldn’t try to work anything out.”

“Wow…really?”

Adam nodded. “Yep…really…so, for the most part, just about everyone who’s close to us thinks that I cheated on him. Nowadays I just decline to comment on it…no use in trying to deny it anymore…”

“That’s awful, Adam.”

He shrugged. “It’s life, Kris.”

“Regardless, it’s still awful.” Kris smiled at him weakly, and Adam knew exactly what was going through his mind.

“And no, Kris…I did not cheat on him while we were together…that’s not my style.” Adam noticed how Kris’s body relaxed a bit at hearing his confession. “I’m not going to deny the fact and claim that I’ve never been with anyone else…but it was always during our off-times…never our on-times.”

“Don’t you think that should’ve been a clue?” Kris asked sincerely.

“What?”

“The fact that you were having off-times …that should’ve been a clue that you weren’t meant to be.”

Adam sighed loudly. “Should’ve been…but obviously, I have a hard time at catching clues.”

Kris smiled at him and his head swung around immediately when someone pounded at the door. Jumping to his feet, Adam followed quickly behind Kris, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Relax…it’s probably just my friends.”

Opening the door, Adam looked back at Kris and rolled his eyes. “Yep…it’s the ones that dragged my ass here in the first place.” Laughing, he held up his finger to Lee and continued talking to Kris. “Weren’t we supposed to be bitching about them anyway? What happened?”

“You cared…that’s what happened,” Kris answered quietly.

Adam smiled at that comment and knew exactly what Kris meant by it. Turning back around to Lee, he sighed. “Yeah? What’d ya want?”

“Nice to see you too, wise guy.” Lee peered into the room and quickly shot his head back to Adam, raising his eyebrows. “You got company, huh?”

“Good observation…what gave it away? The man you see standing in my room?” Adam questioned with sarcasm dripping from every word.  
“Just came to check on you, buddy…back off.” Lee ran a hand through his hair. “Where’ve you been all day? Scarlett and I couldn’t find you.”

“Hiding,” Adam said with a smile on his face.

“Asshole,” Lee huffed.

“Feeling’s mutual.”

“Done feeling sorry for yourself?” Lee retaliated.

“Done being an ass?”

“Still sulking…I see.”

“What’s it to you?” Adam questioned.

“Pity party’s still goin’ on then, huh?”

“Wanna come in and join it?” Adam asked, throwing the door wide open. “You’re more than welcome to.”

“Can I bring the wife?”  
Adam smiled. “The more the merrier.”  
“Is this guy feeding your bruised and damaged ego?”

Okay…that was enough…Adam didn’t want Kris hearing anything that might put him in an embarrassing situation. “I’m closing the door now.”

“Hey…we still on for dinner?” Lee questioned.

“Sure, where are we meeting?”

Lee turned to leave, yelling over his shoulder. “Meet us in our room in an hour, okay?”

Adam slammed the door shut and promptly walked over to the empty chair and took a seat.

“Did you know that guy?” Kris questioned curiously.

“Yep…that’s the idiot that dragged me here so I’d get over feeling sorry for myself and move on.”

Kris laughed, taking a seat on the bed. “Is it working?”

“Not sure yet,” he replied, frowning. “After hearing about your wonderful marriage and rehashing my nightmare of a relationship, I think I feel even sorrier for myself now.”

“Oops…didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Adam raised his head and stared at Kris for a good thirty seconds before speaking. “I want exactly what you had.”

“Yeah,” Kris replied, smiling. Getting up from the bed, he walked over to the door. “I should probably go and find my friends as well…they’ve probably searched the whole resort now a couple times over and knowing them…they’ve probably got the coast guard out looking for me.”

“That bad, huh?” he asked, rising to his feet.

“Sometimes.” Kris opened the door to Adam’s room and stopped. “Thanks for letting me talk about it…I’m sorry you aren’t feeling any better…but you helped me.”

“Ah…you’re welcome, Kris…anytime.” Walking over to the door, he leaned up against the doorframe and watched as Kris walked down the stairs. “Hey…how long are you here for?”

“Two weeks,” Kris replied, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. “How about you?”

“Two weeks…unless of course, I head back earlier.”

“Why would you do that?”

Adam shrugged. “Just keeping my options open.”

“Hey, maybe we’ll run into each other again!” Kris smiled, waved and started jogging down the path that led to the pool.

“I’m gonna make sure of that,” he whispered.

 

________________________________________

 

All throughout dinner, Adam’s eyes remained primarily focused on the man sitting only a few tables from him. He couldn’t help it. As much as he tried, he just couldn’t. Kris was sitting only a few tables from him, eating dinner with what looked to be his friends as well.

Despite the fact that Adam couldn’t see what Kris was wearing, he did notice Kris’s Converse-clad feet tapping continuously at a rapid speed.

Kris was entirely engrossed in a conversation too and never once noticed him. It didn’t matter, Adam noticed Kris all right.

“Why are you constantly staring over there?” Scarlett asked, getting up from her seat and leaning over the table a little. “You have me curious now,” she said, cocking her head to the side.

Lee laughed while yanking on his wife’s arm. “Sit down, Scarlett…don’t draw attention to us…we’ve made it an entire day without any of his fans bombarding us.”

Adam’s head swung around and he rolled his eyes. “Try living it 24/7.”

“No thanks,” Lee replied, shaking his head. “Being a friend of yours has truly opened my eyes to fame and all I can say is…no way in hell. No amount of money is worth what you go through…shit, you can’t even take a damn dump without someone talking about it.”

Adam scrunched up his nose and let out a little laugh. “God, Lee…it’s not that bad.”

“Hey, wait a second here…you still haven’t answered my question, Adam,” Scarlett huffed, frowning at the both men. “What’s got your attention over there?”

“A guy, no doubt.” Lee said, laughing until he felt his wife’s hand smack him upside the head. “Shit…what the hell was that for?”

“I asked Adam…not you,” she gnarled.

“He’s right, Scarlett…a guy,” Adam agreed, smiling at his friend.

“The same one you had in your room earlier today when I stopped by?” Lee questioned, wiggling his eyebrows in jest.

“You had a guy in your room?” Scarlett asked, surprised. “Good Lord…we just got here early this afternoon and already you’ve snagged someone?” Shaking her head, her eyes widened. “Boy…it doesn’t take you long, does it?”

Hearing the daunting laugh coming from Lee’s direction, both Adam and Scarlett turned to look at him. “Scarlett…he is Adam Lambert for God’s sake…if it took longer than a day, I’d be worried.”

The full extent of the meaning behind that phrase took a little while to sink in. “Just what the hell do you mean by that, Lee?” his voice was cool.

“All I meant was that I’m sure it doesn’t take much to snag a guy,” Lee replied, placing a hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Don’t go getting all defensive on me.”

“You mean because of the fame?” Adam questioned further, getting hotter by the second. “You don’t think I’m capable of snagging a guy on my own merit? And why is it that I can’t go one fucking day without someone mentioning the fame thing?” Shaking his head, he leaned in towards Lee. “We don’t talk about your job…why must everyone always talk about mine?”

Scarlett shot her husband a look and then put her hand on Adam’s hand that was resting on the table. “Okay, you two…knock it off…we’re here to have a good time, remember?”

“I remember,” Adam said quietly. “But I’m not dropping it until your husband answers me.”

“I don’t know, Adam,” he replied, allowing himself to sink down further into his chair. “How can you even know one way or the other? Most people have probably seen your face at one time or another.”

He had a point, as valid or invalid as it may be. But dammit! Was it so impossible to believe that he’d actually be able to pick up a guy by just being himself? He’d done it before the fame…

“You’d be surprised, Lee…not as many people recognize me as you’d think. Be honest here…” Adam trailed, finding a way to phrase his next question. “You love Muse, right?”

“Yeah,” Lee agreed.

“If you bumped into one of them, say…walking down the street…would you recognize them?”

Lee thought for only a short moment. “Probably not…but your face is plastered everywhere man, even on condoms …”

Adam’s head lurched forward. “Did you just say ‘condoms’?”

Lee nodded.

“Shit…that can’t be good. Where the hell did you see those?”

“In my drawer, back home.” Lee looked over at his wife and laughed. “Isn’t that right, honey?”

Scarlett’s head fell. “Come on now…it was just a damn joke…get over it already!”

Adam leaned towards Scarlett. “You put my face on your husband’s condoms?” His voice was hovering between surprise and disgust. “Oh God,” Adam heaved, sitting back. “Do I even want to ask about it?”

“Probably not,” Lee answered, laughing and cocking his head over towards his wife. Making sure his wife’s head was still buried; he brought his finger to his lips and mouthed…. “Shhhh….role playing…”

Adam contained the laugh that he desperately wanted to let out. Instead, he leaned over and put his mouth right to Scarlett’s ear. “I never knew you had the hots for me,” he whispered.

Her head flew up; eyes wide with horror. “Oh God…I’m gonna kill you, Lee.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Adam caught sight of Kris laughing and smiled. Adam was glad to see that he was enjoying himself. Too bad it wasn’t with him.

 

________________________________________

 

“You’re kidding us, right?” Katy asked. She looked over at her husband, Cale, and laughed. “He’s not kidding…are you, Kris?”

Kris smiled and shrugged. “I’ll never tell.”

“You actually went back to someone’s room and didn’t have sex?” Cale asked.

“No!” Kris shot back. “We just talked…it was nice. Apparently his friends dragged him along too. I guess I’m not the only third wheel around here.”

Katy leaned over and looked sincerely at her friend. “You are not a third wheel…how many times do I have to tell you that? We wanted you to come…you need to get out, honey and live a little.”

Kris smiled at his friend of nearly fourteen years. She was right and he knew it, only it was so much easier to say than to actually do. “I’m trying…I really am…it’s just so hard.”

“So…who is this mysterious guy? What does he look like?”

“Oh God, Katy,” Kris replied, leaning back in her chair. “He’s beautiful…almost too beautiful to be a guy really.”

“Maybe he isn’t a guy,” Cale shot back with laughter in his eyes. “Did he have an Adam’s apple?”

Kris slapped Cale on the arm. “Knock it off…he was a guy and yes, he had an Adam’s apple.”

“Go on,” Katy urged. “I want to hear all the details.”

“Well,” Kris trailed. “He has dark hair…His eyes were beautiful…so clear and blue that you could get lost in them.” He took a moment to smile and sigh. “Oh and his smile was perfect…teeth were almost so bright and white that it was blinding.”

Looking over at Cale, he smiled. “And he had freckles everywhere…I even noticed that.” Letting out a long sigh, he glanced back over at Katy and immediately noticed the distressed look on her face. “He was very handsome.”

When Katy’s expression still hadn’t changed, she leaned forward in her seat. “What’s wrong? I’m not explaining him the way you want, am I?” Running a hand over his eyes, Kris sighed. “Okay…is this better? He was a hot little piece of ass.”

When he felt someone’s hand touch his shoulder, Kris froze. Then when he heard someone clearing his throat, he slowly turned around. It was Adam.

Oh God, it was Adam. How long had he been standing there? Did he hear what he said? Cringing, he nervously bit his bottom lip. “Um…hi.”

“Hi.”

Okay…this was downright embarrassing. Turning back to his friends, Kris looked over at Katy and knew by the look on her face that Adam had been standing there for quite some time. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a deep breath. “These are my friends…Katy and Cale …and guys, this is Adam.”

“The hot little piece of ass,” Adam mumbled.

Oh shit…he had heard all right. Kris felt the heat rising to his cheeks and instantly, he felt like his face was on fire.

Cale laughed, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you, Adam.”

“You too, Cale.” Adam extended his hand over to Katy. “You too, Katy.”

Katy couldn’t articulate a reply so instead she just smiled as she shook his hand.

Adam placed his other free hand on Kris’s other shoulder and leaned over. “I was wondering if you felt like taking a walk around the grounds.”

“Oh…um…I probably shouldn’t…”

Katy found her voice suddenly and waved her hand towards the exit. “Go on, Kristopher…we’ll be fine.”

Adam leaned in closer to his ear. “Come on, Kristopher…I hear the ocean is quite a sight at night.”

Hearing Adam call him Kristopher produced a smile on Kris’s face. Only his parents and closest friends still referred to him as Kristopher. Never a man.

“You sure?” he asked, looking at Katy and Cale.

“Positive…go on.” Standing to his feet, Katy reached over and grabbed her husband’s hand. “We were going to head on over to the nightclub anyway, weren’t we, honey?”

“Um…yeah, I guess we were,” Cale said, rising to his feet and rolling his eyes. “Have fun you two and Adam?”

Adam turned around. “Yeah?”

“Have him home by one.”

Adam laughed, smiling and nodding his head. “No problem.”

 

________________________________________

 

Together, Adam and Kris made their way past the beautifully lit in-ground pool and towards the ocean. Each one silent, but well aware of what was happening between them. Kris couldn’t help but feel the chemistry between them. There was something definitely there…

“So…what do you do for a living?” Kris questioned.

“I’m a musician,” he stated quietly.

Cringing, Kris turned his head and smiled. “Really?” That wasn’t exactly what he was hoping to hear, but it intrigued him nonetheless.  
“Yep, really…how about you?”

Focusing on the path in front of him, Kris smiled. “I’m a music teacher.”

“Really?”

Kris smiled at Adam’s question, obviously following suit. “Yep, really. I love it too. There’s nothing more miraculous than watching a child get acquainted with music for the first time.”

“I bet,” Adam stated. Sighing, he ran a hand over his hair. “I love children.”

“Really?”

Adam looked over at Kris and nodded. “Yep, really.”

“Do you have any children?”

“Nope…not yet…but I want a houseful of them one day.” He reached down and grabbed Kris’s hand, stopping. Quickly, he gave Kris a onceover. A onceover that didn’t go unnoticed by either party. “How about you?”

Kris’s gaze dropped to their hands. He wasn’t used to holding anyone’s hand and it felt strange, yet comfortable. Bringing their hands up closer, he looked at Adam’s carefully. His hand was warm, soft and masculine. No signs of physical labor whatsoever. And dayum, he wore nail polish. “I always wanted children…but I doubt I’ll ever have any.”

“Why’s that?” Adam asked, cocking his head to the side. “And is it bothering you that I’m holding your hand?”

Kris let their hands drop, still clinging on. “Oh no…sorry…what’d you ask?”

“Why don’t you think you’ll have children?”

Shrugging, Kris stared out into the ocean. “Who am I going to have them with? Haven’t you noticed? I’m not straight.”

Adam shrugged back, letting a small breath escape through his nose. “Adoption Kris, there’s always adoption.…you can’t give up on life.”

Kris already had…in a way. “I’m not giving up on life, Adam…I just gave up on the idea that I’d have children one day.”

Adam took a few steps closer to the water and stopped, dropping to the sand and pulling Kris along with him. Letting go of his hand, Adam leaned back on his arms and stretched out his legs. “Sounds to me like you’ve given up.”

Kris drew his knees in to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. It wasn’t really that cold, but at the same time, the breeze felt cool on his skin. “I told him I’d wait for him, Adam.”

“I’m sure he didn’t and wouldn’t expect you to wait forever, Kris…three years is a long time,” he said softly, "to wait for someone that isn't coming back."

Kris closed his eyes and took in the sound of Adam’s voice. Smooth, gentle and sexy as hell…those were the exact words that came to his head. “I know,” he said. And he really did know that Brian wouldn’t have wanted him to deny himself a chance to love again. But he didn’t think he’d ever be able to replace his love. Brian was the love of his life and Kris loved him more than life…that kind of love could never be replaced.

“Tomorrow,” he said softly, looking straight ahead. “Is the fourth anniversary of when we said our goodbyes at the airport. I don’t consider the day he died to be the end…I consider the day we said goodbye to be the end.”

Adam remained silent.

“That’s why my friends insisted that I come with them…everyone’s afraid to leave me alone when this date comes up every year.”

Adam sat up and looked over at Kris, gently grabbing his hand again. “Maybe tomorrow is the day you finally need to let him go.”

Adam reached over with his other hand and wiped away the tear that had fallen down Kris’s cheek. Feeling Adam’s hand on his skin, Kris closed his eyes. “For three years I’ve tried to do just that…I’ve tried to let him go, Adam.” Looking over at him, Kris shook his head. “Everyone thinks that I won’t let him go…but the truth is…I’ve tried to let him go, but it never works.”

“Maybe you need someone to help you let him go,” he replied honestly.

Kris’s eyes flew open. “I don’t think that’ll help.”

“How do you know if you never try?” Adam leaned over and Kris immediately noticed the look on his face. Granted, he hadn’t seen a look like that in over three years, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Adam was going to kiss him.

Abruptly, he pulled back and looked out into the ocean. “Let’s change the subject…so, do you sing in the local clubs?”

Adam sighed and went back to his earlier stance, leaning back into the sand. “Something like that.”

Something like that? Uh oh…probably a struggling musician who doesn’t have any gigs. Kris nodded and smiled. “Where are you from?”  
“San Francisco.”

“Where do you live now?”

“LA, most of the time.”

“Me too. I live in Orange County actually. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

“One younger brother,” he stated quickly. “You?”

“The same.”

“Parent’s still married?” Adam questioned.

“Yes…yours?”

“Divorced.”

Kris dropped his head. “Oh…I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah,” Adam said, staring out into the ocean. “They are still quite friendly though.”

Not wanting to talk about any sad subject at that particular time, Kris quickly started asking Adam more questions. “Um…any pets?”

Kris heard Adam quietly laugh under his breath, but he remained focused straight ahead.

“Nope, you?”

“No…no time.”

“Same here.”

“Um…” Kris trailed again, in search of something else to ask him. “Ever had a one-night stand?” Oh God…he didn’t just say that out loud, did he? Kris dropped his head. He had been thinking it since earlier that day when he declared to Adam that he wasn’t used to being a one-night stand, but he never planned on bringing it up. Slowly, he looked over at Adam and when he saw the look on his face, he cringed.

He did say it out loud.

Adam’s eyebrows rose. “Actually…yes and you?”

“Um…no.”

Adam continued to laugh under his breath and Kris was growing more nervous as silence lingered on.

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?” Adam asked, humor dripping from the tone of his voice.

Kris knew what Adam was up to…he was probably going to start asking him personal questions to try and get him to shut up so he could kiss him or something. There was no way he was about to let that happen. “Eighteen…you?”

“Twenty-one…was it with Brian?”

Kris continued to try and act unnerved by Adam’s current line of questioning, even though he was anything but. “Yes.”

“Is he the only person you’ve ever been with?”

Kris swallowed down the lump in his throat. No make that…gulped. “Yes, he is…how many men have you been with?” Turning his head to see Adam’s reaction, he smiled. Adam suddenly looked very uncomfortable and it gave Kris great satisfaction to see him squirm.

“Honestly…I’ve never counted…should I have?”

“You’re avoiding my question.”

“You’re damn right I am,” he said sharply and without hesitation. “I don’t want to scare you off.”

Kris’s head lunged forward. “That many, huh?”

Adam shrugged, but remained quiet.

“Do you have a boyfriend currently?”

Adam shook his head.

Kris turned his gaze back to the ocean and closed his eyes. Since the current line of questioning had already begun, he might as well find out as much as he could. Just in case…

“Are you sleeping with anyone currently?”

Hearing Adam take in a deep breath, his body tensed…waiting for him to blow at any second.

“No…not right now…you?”

Oh…he was smooth all right. And he also already knew the answer to that question. “Not quite.”

“Ever thought about it?”

“Not really,” Kris replied quickly. “Well…that’s not entirely true…but it’s not something that crosses my mind very often.”

“Has it crossed your mind in last five hours?”

Oh God…Kris wanted to die right on the spot. Adam was coming right out and asking him if he’d thought about sleeping with him…but in a roundabout way. Feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, he dropped his head between his knees.

“Hey,” Adam said quietly, giving Kris a little shove on his back with his hand. “I’m talking to you.”

“I know,” Kris mumbled into his knees.

“You’re the one who started with this subject…so answer my question and we’ll wrap it up and move on to the next subject.”

His voice…his damn voice. Did it have to be so sexy?

“Maybe,” Kris said softly.

“Maybe what?” he asked.

“Maybe I’ve thought about sleeping with someone in the last five hours.”

Adam laughed out loud. “Was that someone…me?”

Kris’s head shot up and around very quickly. “Hey…don’t you think that’s a little personal?”

Adam’s head fell back while the laughter faded. “Oh and you don’t think anything you just asked me was personal?”

“Maybe…but I didn’t come right out and ask you if you thought about sleeping with me…now, did I?”

Adam’s head slowly rose and when it was finally back into its original position, he looked right at Kris, taking his breath away. “Do you want to ask me that?”

“Yes, I do,” Kris said with determination.

“I’ll answer your question, if you answer mine.”

Turning back to avoid Adam’s gaze, Kris remained quiet.

Adam sat up so that he was in perfect line with Kris’s body. Swinging his head around, he smiled at Kris once Kris looked at him. “I think we both already know the answer to that question.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

“Does that scare you?” Adam questioned, slowly rising to his feet.

“Honestly?” Kris squeaked out, “a little, yes.”

Grabbing his hand, Adam decided to let the subject drop. “Are you going to avoid me now?”

“No…I’m not that scared,” Kris replied, letting out a little laugh. “I am an adult, you know.”

“So I can swing by in the morning and you won’t blow me off?”

“I won’t blow you off…promise.”

Together, hand in hand, and in complete silence they walked back to his room. When they were finally in front of his door, Adam stopped Kris from going in by pulling Kris around to face him. “Did you realize how much we have in common back there?”

Kris stared at him intently.

“We’re both here because we were dragged into it…we both have two younger brothers…we both live in LA, only minutes from each other…neither one of us have any pets…we’ve both thought about sleeping with each other…”

Kris stopped Adam by standing up on his toes and placing a kiss on Adam’s cheek. “I had a nice time tonight…thanks.”

“So did I,” Adam replied earnestly. And that was the honest truth. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had such a great evening; it had definitely been a while. “Maybe this vacation isn’t going to be so bad after all.”

“Yeah,” Kris admitted. “Maybe…well, goodnight.” He turned to his door and started to put the key in.

“Before you go in…there’s something I need to ask you,” Adam said, cocking his head to the side.

Kris turned around to face him. “Sure…what is it?”

As much as he didn’t want to ask…he needed to know. His job was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but at the same time, it was something that was on his mind after Lee’s bombardment with it at dinner. “Do you know who David Cook is?”

Kris looked at him strangely. “I’ve heard of him, why?”

“Have you heard of Chris Daughtry?”

“Yes, why?”

“How about David Archuleta?” Adam could barely choke out that one.

Kris laughed nervously and scrunched up his nose. “I think I have…why are you asking me this?”

 _Here it goes_. “Do you know who Adam Lambert is?”

Kris leaned back against the door and shrugged. “Personally?” He laughed, producing a smile that made Adam’s heart swell. "Of course I do. He has been calling me non-stop trying to get me to agree to go out with him.” He held up his hands, wrinkles appearing on his forehead. “Sorry…but you probably don’t stand a chance. Even though you share the same first name. Why are you asking me this?”

Adam held back his laughter. If Kris only knew how close to the truth he actually was. “Do you own any CDs by these guys?”

“No…sorry, I don’t.” Kris laughed a little and gave Adam a shove with his hand. “Are you looking to borrow one?”

Adam shook his head, stifling the laughter that was making its way out. “Do you like that kind of music?”

“I guess…it’s okay…don’t tell me you do!” Kris’s laughter got louder and Adam actually found himself cringing. “I didn’t think men liked that type of music…shouldn’t you be into rock or rap or something?”

 “Do you know any of their songs?”

“Whose are you referring to?”

“Adam Lambert’s mainly…” he trailed.

“Sure, I know some of his songs…who doesn’t?” Turning around, Kris placed his key inside the doorknob again and unlocked his door. Opening it, he took a step in and turned back around. “Are you feeling all right, Adam?”

“Fine…why?”

“I don’t know…you’re acting kind of strange now,” Kris replied while making a face. “Maybe I should blow you off…you’re scaring me.”  
“You’d better not, Kristopher,” Adam said, while backing up to leave.

Kris reached out and stopped him with his hand. “Hey…after all that, aren’t you going to ask me who my favorite artist is? That’s what you were trying to get at, wasn’t it?”

Adam smiled, turning back.

“It’s The Beatles,” Kris said, sighing and looking up. “There’s something about their songs. I would love it if one of my students became the next Lennon or McCartney.” 

“I can tell,” Adam replied. “Any other favorites I should know about?”

“Hmmm…” Kris trailed, scratching his forehead. “Michael Jackson…he’s another favorite of mine. I absolutely love all his music too.”

Adam laughed out loud. “You have a thing for the legends, huh?”

“Yeah.” Kris smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “And dead guys too. But I wouldn’t turn them down. I’m sure I could get past the death thing once they started serenading me with their songs.”

Adam reached out and ran his hand along the side of his face. “Why do I have this feeling that I’m going to have some stiff competition?”

Kris placed his hand on top of Adam’s and smiled. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it. They are _dead_ after all.”

“I’ll be here around nine for breakfast…sound good?”

“Nine?” Kris questioned, shaking his head. “I’m up and ready to go at seven.”

“Uh-oh,” Adam said, laughing. “That is definitely one thing we don’t have in common.” Making his way out to the path, he yelled over his shoulder. “I’ll compromise though…how does eight sound?”

“Sounds great…see you in the morning,” Kris said, before clearing his throat. "Hey, wait a minute! You never told me who your favorite artist was!"

Adam stopped and turned around. Shrugging, he raised both his hands, palm side up. "It's a toss-up between quite a few of them." He turned back around and continued on his way, yelling over his shoulder. "But I wouldn't turn down Adam Lambert for a date!"

"See you in the morning!" Kris closed the door and dropped to the floor.

Taking a deep breath, he looked down and noticed his hands were shaking. It was something he wasn’t used to and the feeling made him giggle out loud.

Maybe Adam was right…maybe it was time to move on…maybe he did need someone to help him move on…maybe…

 

________________________________________

 

 

By the time Adam made it back to his room, he was out of breath. Partially from running and partially from the way he was feeling. It was a weird feeling; one that was hard to explain and one that he was quite sure he’d never experienced before.

“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath. “You scared the hell out of me. What’re you doing here?”

The dark figure rose from the patio chair. “Checking to see how your date went.”

Adam frowned at Lee. “It wasn’t a date.”

“No?” Lee questioned; tone rising a decibel or two. “Then what do you call it?”

“A walk.”

“Oh…okay,” Lee replied, rolling his eyes back. “Then how’d your walk go?”

“Fine, thank you.” Adam unlocked the door to his room and walked in. “So, what else did you want?”

“That’s it,” Lee huffed. “Just ‘fine, thank you’.”

Adam nodded to his friend, throwing his keys down on the nightstand. “Yep…that’s it, man.”

“Did you get any?” Lee questioned, walking into the room.

Adam swung around to face him. “Did I get any what?”

Lee laughed, punching him in the arm. “Ah, come on, man…you know what I mean.”

Shaking his head, Adam groaned loudly. “Shit, Lee…that’s not what the walk was about.”

“So the answer’s no then, huh?”

“Was there anything else you needed?” Adam’s voice was growing sterner with each word. He pointed to the door. “If not…you can go.”

“All right, calm down.”

Silence lingered in the air for a few moments while both men just stared at each other. “Does he know who you are?”

Adam kicked his shoes off and sat down on the bed. “If he does…he’s doing a good job of hiding it.”

Lee’s only facial reply was his eyebrows rising.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“If it’s nothing…then why the fuck are you looking at me that way?” Adam barked.

Lee struck a thinking pose in mock. “Oh…I don’t know…just can’t believe that you might’ve actually gotten a guy without using your fame.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Adam moaned, throwing a pillow at his friend. “I haven’t gotten anyone and dammit…I’m quite capable of picking up guys without throwing my name around.”

Lee laughed and threw the pillow right back at him. “I’m kidding…hey listen, it’s still pretty early…you want to head over to the nightclub for a couple drinks?”

“Where’s Scarlett?”

“I don’t know,” Lee said, shrugging. “Take your pick…she’s either doing her nails, plucking the eyebrows, picking the zits, shaving the legs…”

“Okay, okay,” Adam replied, getting up from the bed. “I get the picture.”

“So, you game?”

Adam looked over at the clock and sighed. “I don’t know…it’s almost midnight already and I gotta be up for breakfast by seven.”

Lee doubled over laughing. “You? Up by seven? What in hell for? Breakfast hours go until ten.”

“I’m taking Kris to breakfast in the morning,” Adam replied.

“Oh wow,” Lee barked. “You’re splurging for breakfast, huh?”

Adam threw him another disgusted look, well aware of the fact that it was an all-inclusive resort.

“You actually buying his drinks too?”

Adam grabbed his wallet from the bed and stuffed it in his back pocket. “Haven’t had the opportunity yet.” He stopped short of leaving the room when he noticed Lee’s look. “Now what?”

Lee raised one eyebrow in question. “You do know that drinks are free, right?”

“Free?” Adam spat back.

Lee patted his friend on the back. “Drinks are included…hence the word all-inclusive.”

“Shit,” Adam mumbled. Maybe this vacation wasn’t going to be so bad after all…maybe…

 

________________________________________

 

 

Kris sighed while twiddling an abandoned straw in his fingers. He was bored, tired, confused and sure as hell didn’t want to be sitting in some smoke-filled, dark and foggy nightclub. Unfortunately though, his friends wouldn’t take no for an answer and once again he found himself being dragged along.

What he really wanted to do was just head to bed. And he should have. But instead, after Adam dropped him off at his door, he answered his phone and somehow he ended up with Katy and Cale in the nightclub. Obviously, he didn’t know that the word “no” existed in the English language and if he did, he obviously didn’t know how to use it.

Tired of feeling sorry for himself, he groaned and turned around to watch the dance floor. The music was too loud in his opinion and the people dancing were even more obnoxious. That’s when Kris saw him.

“Something wrong, Kristopher?”

 _Damn…_ Kris’s facial expression obviously matched his thoughts. _What's Adam doing here?_ He said he was heading back to his room to head to bed…didn’t he? Clearing his throat, Kris kept his gaze glued to the man in question. “No…no…nothing's wrong.”

Cale got up from his seat. “You want something to drink?”

“Yeah…sure…a beer is fine,” Kris mumbled.

“What did you say?” he questioned. “I didn’t catch that.”

Kris turned around to face Cale. “Whatever’s fine, okay?” Quickly, he turned himself back around to get a better look. The darkness of the club didn’t hinder his ability to spot Adam in the far corner. Waving the dry ice away from his face, Kris squinted his eyes to get a better look. Adam was backed into a corner, along with another man and talking to a couple of twinks.

Three, to be exact.

Instead of turning around, Kris just kept looking. And in a matter of another minute, a fourth twink had joined the little group.

Disgusted, he turned around and sighed. Not even a half hour had passed since Adam walked him back to his room and there he was in the nightclub, schmoozing with all the boy toys. _Figures…_

“Damn…Adam has quite the following,” Katy said, staring at her friend.

Kris’s head jerked up. “You noticed too, huh?”

“Only because I was trying to figure out what you were staring at.”

Kris shook his head. “He probably couldn’t wait to get rid of me tonight so he could come here,” he said in a disgusted tone.

Katy’s hand swung out. “Hey, wait a minute, Kristopher,” she huffed. “You don’t know that. Besides, you’re here too, aren’t you? He could say the same thing about you.”

Kris shot his friend a look. “You dragged me here.”

His friend shrugged. “How do you know he wasn’t dragged?”

Kris swung his head around, looking at Adam again. “Oh yeah…he looks like he was dragged.” Seeing him hand something to one of the boys, he grunted, “God…he’s giving them his room number or something too.”

Katy laughed and put her hand on Kris’s hand. “You sound jealous.”

Hearing the comment, Kris swung his head back around. His eyes grew wide as the truth of the statement sunk in. “Oh my God…I do, don’t I?” His head fell to the table. “I hardly even know him and here I am acting like the jealous boyfriend.”

Katy’s hand went to her friend’s hair, messing it up. “Ah…come on, cut yourself some slack here.” When Kris lifted his head, Katy wiggled her eyebrows. “You want him…don’t you?”

Cale plopped the beers on the table. “Want who?”

Katy grabbed one of the beers. “Kristopher wants that Adam guy he introduced us to at dinner.”

Cale laughed, taking a seat. “Oh, Mr. Nice piece of ass?”

“God, Katy,” Kris heaved, head rising through the smoke. “Stop putting words in my mouth.”

Laughter among the table erupted while Kris’s eyes darted back and forth from his two friends. He let his head drop again. “Oh God…I do want him, don’t I?”

Katy jumped up from her seat and lunged towards him, pulling him into a big hug. “Welcome back.”

Kris tried to hide his tears as he smiled at Cale, who was watching the whole sappy thing take place.

“Honey…do you realize what this means?” Katy questioned her friend.

Cale took a swig of his beer and then laughed. “Yeah…it means he’s horny.” Wiping the excess liquid from his lips, he smiled. “And you should be…just how long has it been since you’ve had sex anyway?”

Katy glared at her husband. “Ignore him, Kristopher.” Grabbing her friend’s shoulders, she smiled, getting right in his face. “It means you’re ready to finally move on…to try again…to let yourself feel.” Embracing him again, Katy squeezed tightly. “I think you’re snapping out of your funk and I’m so happy for you, honey.”

Kris swallowed hard. “Do you think it’s okay? I mean…I don’t know…I can’t…”

Katy pulled herself out of the embrace. “Brian would want you to move on, honey. You’re young…you’re beautiful…you have a lot to offer someone…you deserve to be happy. He’d want that for you.”

 “I know that, Katy…it’s just been so hard for me.”

“I know, honey…and if you keep trying, it’s gonna get easier.”

“I j-just d-don’t want to forget him, you know?”

“Honey,” Katy said seriously. “No one is going to forget him…he’ll forever be in our hearts.”

Clearing his throat, Cale pointed to someone behind Kris when they both looked his way.

Turning around slowly, Kris already knew who it was. He could sense his presence. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Adam replied, smiling back. “Fancy meetin’ you here.” Jerking his head towards the dance floor, he raised his eyebrows. “Would you care to dance or is this a bad time?”

Letting his ears settle in on the music, Kris cringed. It was a slow song. “Um…”

Reaching down, Adam took his hand in his and pulled him up. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said.

Cale laughed out loud, followed by his wife. “Have fun, you two,” she said, standing to her feet. “Come on, honey, you’re dancing too.”  
Standing to his feet, Cale groaned. “Thanks a lot, Adam.”

“You’re welcome,” Adam said, winking at Katy and pulling Kris to the dance floor. ‘You should’ve told me you wanted to come here tonight,” he whispered in Kris’s ear.

Adam’s whisper sent a shiver down Kris’s spine. That voice of his was intimidating and exciting to Kris at the same time. “I really didn’t,” he whispered back.

“Hey, me neither…why is it we keep letting ourselves get dragged into things we don’t really want to do?” Reaching the dance floor, he twirled Kris around and immediately pulled him close.

Shrugging, Kris smiled nervously. “Maybe we don’t have a backbone.”

He laughed, putting his arms around Kris’s waist. “I have many close friends… that’d laugh at that one. They think I have two backbones.”  
When Adam arms completely encompassed him, Kris felt his body tense up and actually start to shake.

“Nervous?” Adam asked with his mouth right next to Kris’s ear. “Relax.”

Nervous? That was an understatement. Kris was more than nervous…he was downright petrified. _Relax…how the hell do you expect me to relax when you’re standing this close to me?_ Slowly, he raised his arms and placed them around Adam’s neck; their faces now only separated by a couple inches at best. “I haven’t danced in a long time.”

“I know,” Adam said quickly. “You haven’t done a lot of things in the last three years…gotta start some time, right?”

“Pretty confident of that, huh?”

Adam answered him with merely a look.

“Are you sure you don’t want to dance with one of the other boys you were talking to earlier?” Kris asked, jerking his head towards the back of the room where Adam was earlier.

Adam’s eyes remained locked with his. “Oh…so you did notice me earlier then, huh?”

Kris nodded, making sure his expression remained unchanged. He didn’t want Adam knowing that he was jealous. It was a sure way to scare him off. It may have been a long time since he had dated, but that was something you never forget.

“You’re the only guy I want to dance with, trust me,” Adam whispered.

Kris had to look away from Adam’s face, the look in his eyes made him nervous. “Do you always have men hitting on you like that?”

When Adam didn’t answer right away, Kris looked back at him. He swore he saw Adam distinctly swallow. Not just a regular swallow either…but as his gaze didn’t falter, Kris wasn’t sure.

“Sometimes, yes…does that bother you?” Adam asked with amusement.

“Maybe,” Kris whispered.

Bringing his face in closer to Kris’s, Adam finally smiled. “Are you jealous?”

 _Crap…is it that obvious?_ “Maybe, should I be?”

Cocking his head to the side, Adam whispered in his ear, “You have absolutely nothing to be jealous of.” When Kris couldn’t articulate a reply, Adam continued whispering, “If you’re jealous now…what’re you going to be like when we’re married.”

_Married?_

Kris pulled his now tense body back and gasped, “Married?”

Adam’s smile grew wider.

“Married?” Kris repeated, swallowing down the lump in his throat. What the hell was he talking about?

“Weren’t you the one who said that within the first five minutes someone should know whether or not they were meant to be together?” Adam’s smile was almost too much to bear when he spoke.

“Yes,” Kris said quietly, still trying to get the damn lump out of his throat. His thoughts were running amuck through his clouded brain. _Married?_

“Well,” Adam said, pausing momentarily to cock his head to the side. “I’m not quite sure it was within the first five minutes…I was still a little pissed about being here to notice something like that.” Looking directly into Kris’s eyes, he became really serious. “But within the first five hours…I knew that there was no way in hell I was about to let you get away.”

Adam’s admission almost caused Kris to faint. Adam’s arms wrapped around him tightly, saving him the embarrassment. “Oh my God,” Kris whispered. “I know exactly what you mean.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because,” he trailed, looking for the right words. “I felt the same way too.”

 

_*THE INTERVIEW *_

_“Okay! And we’re back in five, four, three, two, one!”_

_“I don’t really remember you using those exact words, Adam,” Kris trailed, looking towards to the two women who were interviewing them. “But, I knew from that moment on…I was going to be his husband.”_

_Taking a deep breath, he held back the tears. “In the entire three years that passed since my late husband perished, I never once was even remotely attracted to anyone…never even let myself so much as look at someone.” Glancing over at the man sitting next to him, a tear escaped and ran down his cheek._

_“But…there was just something about Adam…something that made me feel alive again and I knew from that point on…I wasn’t about to let him get away.”_

_Turning back to the interviewers, he hesitantly smiled. “And for some strange reason…after he told me that we were gonna be married…I didn’t walk away, I didn’t run away…I just stood there and waited for him to show me what to do.”_

_“Yeah,” Adam said, putting his arm around Kris. “He didn’t stand there for long though…because I had other things in mind.” He stopped short of completing his thought when he felt Kris’s hand smack his thigh. “Don’t worry…I’m not gonna go into details or anything.”_

_Laughing, he looked at Kris. “The funny thing was…he didn’t even know who the hell I really was.” Holding out his hand to the camera, he shook his head._

_“I mean…he knew my first name and knew what I was all about,” he replied seriously. “He just didn’t know everything yet.”_

_Pulling Kris in close, Adam kissed him on the lips. “But boy…it didn’t take him too long to figure it out, did it, honey?”_

_Laughing, he turned back to the interviewers. “But I’m jumping ahead here a little…”_  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Walking hand in hand through the crowded dance floor, Adam led Kris to the door. Allowing Kris to step out ahead of him, he closed his eyes for a second. Did he really just tell Kris that they were gonna get married?

Was that a proposal?

His mind was in overdrive…trying to figure out what’d just happened.

If that was a proposal…it was an awful one. Kris’d have to be out of his mind to accept that type of proposal…yet; he didn’t really look like he _hadn’t_ accepted it. After all, Kris was leaving with him.

Where exactly were they going?

Hell if he knew.

“Where are we going?” Kris questioned once they were outside.

 _Good question…where are we going?_ Adam shrugged.

“Are you tired?”

Adam shook his head.

“Want to go for a walk then?”

Again, Adam shook his head.

He didn’t know what he wanted.

He didn’t know what was happening.

He was completely thrown for a loop.

“Oh…okay,” Kris replied quietly. “I can head back myself, it’s okay.”

Adam reached out and grabbed Kris’s arm, pulling him back. “What the hell just happened in there?” he asked, swinging his head back towards the nightclub door.

Kris shrugged.

“Did I ask you to marry me?” he questioned, eyes wide.

Again, Kris shrugged.

_Okay…maybe I should just drop it…_

“Are you tired?” Adam asked.

Kris shook his head.

“Want to go for a walk then?”

Again, Kris shook his head.

They were at a standstill.

Now what?

Adam finally managed to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Am I scaring you here?”

“Not really,” Kris replied quietly.

“Well,” he said abruptly. “I sure as hell am scaring myself.”

Kris reached for Adam’s face, running his hand along his cheek. “It’s okay…I can just go back to my room.”

“No,” Adam said tersely. “You can’t just go back to your room.” Walking over to the bench next to the entrance of the nightclub, he sat down. His head was spinning…and it wasn’t from alcohol. It was from love.

_Love?_

Was that even possible?

“We need to figure out what just happened back there,” Adam said flatly. “Or at least I do.” He rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. “What just happened?”

Kris walked over to him, smiling. Taking a seat next to Adam, he reached for Adam’s hand and squeezed it once it was safely locked with his. “You’ve never had this happen before…have you?”

He knew what Kris was talking about.

He just didn’t know whether or not he should let on that he knew.

It only took Adam a few seconds to decide that he wasn’t going to play games. Kris wasn’t a game player. “No, I haven’t.”  
Looking over at Kris, he half-smiled. “You have, though…with Brian…right?”

Kris dropped his gaze and stared at their hands that were resting in his lap. “Even with Brian…it didn’t happen this fast.”  
Clearing his throat, Kris kept Adam’s gaze fixed on their hands. “I mean…he didn’t propose after only one day.”

“So…” Adam trailed, holding back the laughter and tears. “I did propose, then?”

“I don’t know, Adam,” Kris said. “I wouldn’t consider what you said in there as a proposal, really.”

“So…I didn’t propose, then,” he said calmly, letting out a deep breath. “Then what the hell was it?”

Looking at him slowly, Kris smiled. “You were just telling me how you felt…”

“Oh, okay,” Relieved to some extent, he squeezed Kris’s hand. “Because that sure as hell wasn’t a decent proposal…hell, I’d never expect you to actually say yes to that kind of proposal.” Looking over at the nightclub, he laughed. “A proposal in a nightclub…on a dance floor…with smoke so thick you could barely breathe…I’m such a fag.”

Kris laughed.

Adam slightly cocked his head to the side and looked at Kris out of the corner of his eye. “I mean…you wouldn’t have actually said yes…would you?”

Adam knew by the look on Kris’s face that he knew what he was up to. He wasn’t as smooth as he thought. Kris could see right through that question. No doubt about it.

“I don’t know, Adam,” Kris said coolly. “Are you asking me now?”

Adam’s gaze dropped as he thought about his question. He wasn’t sure if he was asking Kris now or not. What the hell was going on here?

He couldn’t think straight.

He couldn’t breathe right.

He couldn’t believe what he was about to say…

“Is it possible for someone to ask another person to marry them when they’ve only known each other for less than what?” Adam brought their hands up to his face and stared at his watch. “Less than twenty-four hours?”

“I don’t know,” Kris said, shrugging. “Is it?”

“Hell,” Adam mumbled, letting their hands drop back into Kris’s lap. “We haven’t even kissed yet.” Adam let out a laugh through his nose. “A real kiss, that is.”

“That’s true,” Kris acknowledged.

Adam looked over at him out of the corner of his eye again. “Maybe we should just drop this subject for now.”

“Yeah,” Kris agreed. “Maybe we should.”

Oh God…his tone of voice didn’t sound too good. Did he think that Adam was brushing him off now? That wasn’t what he was doing…not at all.

He didn’t know what he was doing.

Standing to his feet, he pulled Kris up and close to him. “Would it be too forward for me to ask you to come back to my room tonight?”

Adam could sense how nervous Kris was. His hand was slightly shaking and he was biting his bottom lip. “Um…why? Do you want to kiss me?”

Adam’s lips turned up in a smile. “Maybe.”

“Are you going to ask me to marry you after you kiss me?” Kris asked, gaze still locked down at his feet.

Reaching over, Adam grabbed Kris’s chin and brought it up so that he could look Kris in the eyes. “Would you tell me yes if I did?”

No answer.

“Well?” he questioned again. “Would you?” Adam wasn’t about to let Kris get out of answering this question. No way in hell.  
He needed to know.

“Probably,” Kris said.

“Probably what?” Adam held Kris’s chin in place. “Probably yes…or probably no.”

“Probably yes,” Kris whispered back. “I mean not probably…but yes. I would say yes.”

“You would?” Adam’s eyes grew wide. “You don’t even really know me.”

“I know everything I need to know,” Kris said earnestly and with so much conviction that even Adam knew Kris was being truthful. “I can feel it in my heart…does that make any sense?”

Adam was so damn nervous he was sure Kris could hear his heart pounding. He didn’t even get this nervous before a show, and he always got nervous before they were about to go on stage.

“Absolutely…I’m just having a hard time grasping the whole thing.”

“You and me both,” Kris replied sweetly. “I just can’t believe that after all this time…”

“I know,” Adam interrupted. “Believe me, I know.” His voice was scarcely audible to even him now. “I can’t believe that I’m feeling this way either. After the kind of relationship I just came out of…it’s a wonder…”

Kris interrupted him now, “That the word ‘relationship’ is even in your vocabulary, much less your thoughts anymore…right?”

“Exactly,” Adam said, brushing his fingertips against Kris’s cheek. “How’d you know?”

“Because I know you better than you think, Adam,” Kris replied quietly. Reaching down, he grabbed Adam’s hand and dropped his gaze. “It feels nice…holding your hand.”

The silence went undisturbed for a few moments as they both continued to look down at their hands.

“Does the offer still stand?” he asked, bringing his gaze up.

“Let’s go,” Adam replied, leading Kris back to his room.

________________________________________

There were no words spoken during their entire five-minute walk back to Adam’s room. Not even so much as a sound came from either of them. The only audible sound was the palm trees swaying in the breeze. It was refreshing and nerve racking…to them both.

Once they reached his room, Adam dropped Kris’s hand while he reached inside his back pocket. Pulling out the room key, he fumbled with it for a few minutes, trying to line it up right. “God…what the hell is wrong with this damn thing anyway?” he growled to himself, but loud enough for Kris to hear.

Kris let out a little laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Hearing it click, Adam blew out a breath. Swinging the door open, he stepped back and allowed Kris to enter first. With only a slight hesitation, Kris stepped inside and immediately walked over to the chair, plopping down.

Hearing the door shut, he practically jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t been so nervous in his entire life…not even when he lost his virginity. He took a deep breath and willed himself to relax…which worked for a whole two seconds until he felt  
Adam’s hands rest on his shoulders.

“You okay?”

Kris nodded, continuing to stare straight ahead.

“You sure?”

Kris shook his head.

Rubbing his shoulders, Adam let out a little laugh. Leaning over, he whispered, “Would it help any if I told you I was nervous too?”

“Yeah,” Kris whispered back.

“I’m not looking for anything…if that’s what you’re worried about.” Adam remained silent for a moment, letting Kris ponder his statement.

“You’re not?” Kris barely whispered.

“No…I’m not,” Adam said quietly.

“You mean…” Kris stopped mid-sentence to gather his thoughts as well as his breath. He was having great difficulty breathing and he was sure that it was obvious. “You don’t even want to kiss me?”

Adam gently turned Kris around so that he could see him. “Okay…maybe I should clarify my earlier statement.” Smiling, his gaze traveled down to Kris’s lips and then back to his eyes. “I’m not looking to do anything you aren’t ready to do.”

“So you _do_ want to kiss me, then?”

“Yes…I do,” he mumbled. “I’ve wanted to kiss you the first time you stepped into my room.”

Smiling, Kris tried to remain calm and not let his emotions run to the surface. “What would you say if I told you that I _was_ ready?”

A look of surprise swept over his face. “Are you ready?”

“Honestly…” Kris trailed, completely lost in Adam’s eyes. “I’ve been ready….”

Adam cocked one eyebrow in question. “Really?”

Kris nodded while dropping his head. He had never been so ready in his entire existence. Seeing Adam’s feet move closer, he closed his eyes and remained trapped in his own thoughts.

When he felt Adam’s breath on his neck, he knew right then and there that if he didn’t back out now, there’d be no backing out later. Was he absolutely, positively one hundred percent sure that this is what he wanted?

Lifting his head slightly, Kris’s eyes locked with Adam’s. “Yeah, really.”

He was more than one hundred percent sure…he was two hundred percent sure.

Adam cupped Kris’s chin with his hand and brought his face in closer. “You do realize what time it is, right?”

What time it is? Kris looked to him, confused. “After midnight…right?”

He sighed and nodded. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay with doing this today.”

“Today?” he questioned.

“It’s October 6th.”

October 6th? Kris’s eyes immediately closed while the date registered in his brain. It was exactly three years ago that he and Brian had said their last goodbyes. Had he already forgotten such an important date?

“Oh…” he replied.

“Oh…” Adam answered back.

Adam actually heard Kris when Kris told him that.

Adam actually listened to Kris when he told him that.

Adam actually remembered that.

Lifting his head to meet Adam’s gaze, Kris smiled slightly. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Adam questioned, smiling. “For what?”

“For hearing me, listening to me and remembering that,” Kris whispered back with tears welling up in his eyes.

“Oh…”

“Oh…” Kris answered back.

Cocking his head to the side, Adam’s hand remained on Kris’s chin. “Are you okay with it or do you want to wait?”

Kris shook his head.

Adam’s eyebrows shot up. “You need to help me out here,” he whispered. “Are you shaking your head because it’s not okay or are you shaking it because you don’t want to wait?”

Was it possible that Kris already loved this man standing in front of him?

In such a short time?

While he was the first one to believe in love at first sight…he was having a hard time believing that it was actually happening to him…a second time around.

Was it possible that he was being afforded a second chance at love?

“I don’t want to wait,” Kris replied, with tears flowing down his cheeks.

“Hey,” Adam said sweetly. “Don’t cry.” Removing his hold from Kris’s chin, his hand immediately slid to Kris’s left cheek and wiped away the tears. Up and over it went to the right cheek, where he repeated the process. “We don’t have to do this tonight.”

Didn’t Adam hear him the first time?

Maybe he wasn’t such a good listener after all.

Smiling, Kris stood up, reached up and wrapped his hand around Adam’s neck, bringing him closer. Swallowing back the jitters, he looked Adam right in the eyes. “I don’t want to wait, please.”

Not another word was spoken.

Adam’s head immediately cocked to the side while he moved in closer. Watching him run his tongue along his lips sent shivers up Kris’s spine and made him that much more nervous. He hadn’t been kissed… _really kissed_ …in a long time.

What if he didn’t remember how? Hearing that last question run through his brain, Kris pulled back.

Adam’s eyes flew open. “What’s wrong?”

Stumbling for the words, Kris cleared her throat. “Um…um…what if I don’t…” When he heard Adam laugh quietly, he stopped his thought and frowned. “What?”

Adam’s head came in again…close. So close that Kris could feel his breath. “You don’t actually think that you’ve forgotten how to kiss, do you?”

“Oh my God,” Kris gasped. “How’d you know I was thinking that?”

Winking, Adam smiled. “I don’t know.” Adam shrugged, licking his lips again. “But I just knew that was what you were thinking.”

“Do you think it’s possible?” Kris questioned quietly, stopping Adam once again.

“Do I think what’s possible?”

“That I’ve forgotten?”

Shaking his head slowly, his facial expression suddenly became serious. “No, I don’t…and if you did…I’m pretty sure that it’ll only take a second or two for it to come back to you.” Cupping Kris’s chin again, Adam hurriedly placed a small kiss on his lips. “Okay…enough talking.”

Feeling Adam’s lips land on his, Kris threw his hands up and around Adam’s neck, pressing him in closer. It only took a second for Adam’s hands to find a home too. One on each cheek.

If Kris had forgotten how to kiss…he’d never know it. Adam was right, it only took a few seconds for him to remember…remember just how good kissing actually was and just how good it actually felt.

It was something that he’d missed and never even knew it until now.

Allowing Adam to take control, he simply followed his lead and met each one of his kisses. Adam’s tongue felt good inside his mouth, intertwining with his. Adam’s tongue felt good running along his bottom lip and his lips felt just the same. Adam’s lips were domineering and powerful as he completely engulfed Kris’s swollen lips.

It was obvious that Adam was used to being the one in control, Kris could tell that within the first minute of Adam’s mouth claiming his. It was obvious that Adam spent many nights kissing other men. He knew just what to do and when exactly to do it.

It was also obvious that Adam wanted more.

And as much as Kris didn’t want that to scare him…it did.

Was he ready?

Feeling himself trembling from Adam’s hands, which were now freely roaming his backside, Kris knew that he was more than ready. He was on fire! And Adam was the only one capable of putting out the flame.

Slowly, he started backing Adam up towards the bed, never removing his lips from Adam’s and never removing his hands from Adam’s hair.

Adam pulled back when his legs hit the bed. “You like the hair, huh?”

Kris let out an uneven breath. “Yeah.”

“I like yours too,” Adam said just as roughly while his hands pulled on the bottom of Kris’s short hair.

“Oh God……..” Kris moaned, feeling the roughness of his pull.

Adam fell back against the bed, pulling Kris along for the ride. When the full weight of Kris hit him, he groaned.

“Oh God…sorry,” Kris said, trying to move off to the side.

“I’m not,” he said, placing his arms around tightly. “Stop trying to get away from me, Kris…you’re not going anywhere.”

Staring him in the eyes, Kris smiled shyly. “Can we kiss for a while?”

Adam returned the smile, letting him know that it was okay with him. “We can kiss for as long or as little as you want, honey.”

________________________________________

 

When Adam woke up in the morning, he was surprised to see that Kris wasn’t next to him. Sitting up abruptly, he looked over towards the bathroom and stuck his tongue out, running it along his dry lips. “Kris?”

When he didn’t hear any reply, he lazily got out of bed and dragged himself to the bathroom door. Knocking lightly, he called for Kris again.

And again there was no answer.

“What the hell?” he mumbled to himself. Glancing over at the clock on the nightstand, he swore. “Shit…” It was eight-thirty.  
Didn’t they have a date for breakfast at eight? And why wasn’t Kris still in his bed?

Grabbing his suitcase, he ripped it open and starting throwing his clothes out one by one. “Dammit…where are my fuckin’ jeans?” Knowing that he packed over six pairs of them, he huffed the entire time he was unloading.

After the entire contents of his suitcase were emptied unto the floor, bed and table, he remembered that they were in his other suitcase that was on the floor by the door. The exact spot he’d left it when he first arrived. Hell, he hadn’t even unpacked yet.

Walking over, he grabbed it and tossed it on the bed. That’s when he noticed a piece of paper on the pillow next to his. Grabbing it, he tore it open.

_Adam,_

_I’ll meet you for breakfast at eight._

_Kris_

Hastily, he searched through his second suitcase and found exactly what he was looking for. Putting on the jeans, he tore through the shirts quickly. Settling on just a plain black one, he walked into the bathroom and brushed his teeth.  
Opening the door, he stepped out and stopped. Swearing under his breath, he walked back in to retrieve his boots and baseball cap. Finally, he was ready to go and he was late. Late.

Late was something he almost always never was. He hated tardiness with a passion. Picking up his pace, he practically ran all the way to the restaurant.

“Adam!”

He turned around and saw Lee running towards him. “I don’t have time, Lee…I’ll catch you later.”

“What’s your rush?”

“I’m late.” Ignoring his friend, he threw open the door to the restaurant and frantically searched the room for Kris. And after what he thought was a thorough search, he swore under his breath. He figured that Kris must’ve given up and headed back to his room. When he turned around to leave, he heard his name being called again.

Turning around quickly, he frowned when he realized that it wasn’t Kris…it was a woman and she was holding a piece of paper and pen. “Hi…I heard that you were here and I’ve been on the lookout ever since.”

“Yeah?” Adam asked without it being a question really. “Well, you found me.”

“Is Tommy here with you? What happened to the album?” The woman shoved the piece of paper at him and took a deep breath.  
He sighed, taking the piece of paper from her. “I need the pen too,” he said kindly. He didn’t have time for this…not today…not now. “What’s your name?”

“Maggie,” she said, handing him the pen, “When will the album be released?”

Signing his name on the paper, Adam took a deep breath and expelled it rather loudly. “Well, Maggie, I’m here on vacation just like you…no one else is here, so don’t bother looking. I’m still working on the album, but I can’t give you an exact release date.”

Looking up at her, he smiled, handing her back the piece of paper. “Thanks for supporting me.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” she said, eyes wide with joy.

Adam noticed the excitement in her eyes and calmed down immediately. It was nice to know that the fans cared this much.  
“Thank you,” Adam smiled at her and handed her back the pen. “I’d love to chat some more, but I’m late and I gotta run. Maybe we can catch up again when I have more time.”

“Oh…okay, no problem.” She glanced down at the paper and smiled. “Thanks.”

He placed his hand on her shoulder and hugged her. “You’re welcome, Maggie…take care,” he replied, turning around to walk out the door.

“Adam!”

He sighed, closing his eyes and silently wishing that just for once, he’d go unrecognized and have a vacation in peace. Turning around, he plastered somewhat of a fake smile on his face, fully expecting to see another fan walking towards him.  
“Damn baseball cap works for shit,” he mumbled. “It’s me,” he said mockingly, eyes searching the restaurant.

That’s when he saw him.

Kris was sitting at a table not too far from him waving his hand in the air.

“Over here,” he said.

Letting himself relax, Adam slowly walked up to him. Placing a hand on Kris’s shoulder, he leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “Sorry I’m late.”

Kris glanced at his watch and then up at him. “It’s okay…sit down,” he said, pointing towards a chair.

“Hey…what happened to you this morning?” he asked, sitting down. “I woke up, expecting to see you lying next to me and you weren’t there.”

“I’m sorry,” Kris replied quietly, looking down at the table. “I wanted to go back to my room and take a quick shower.”

Smiling, he leaned in and whispered, “You could’ve taken a shower in my room…I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I know,” Kris whispered back. Looking up from the table, he tilted his head to the side. “Look…I’m sorry about last night.”

“Stop right there,” Adam said, putting his hand on Kris’s mouth. “I told you we’d take this slow and that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. I’m not going anywhere…are you?”

“No,” Kris said, shaking his head back and forth. “But I still feel bad because I’m sure you probably thought…”

“Kris,” Adam said quietly. “It doesn’t matter what I thought was going to happen…it’ll happen when the time is right, okay?”  
Looking over at the buffet, he sighed. “So…have you eaten yet?”

“No, I waited.”

“Good boy,” Adam said, smiling. Standing up, he reached for Kris’s hand and pulled him up. Putting his arm around Kris’s shoulders, he stopped and dropped his arm from his shoulders to his waist. “C’mere,” he demanded. Hugging Kris, Adam squeezed him tightly and whispered in his ear, “Stop worrying about it…I’m not worried.”

“Okay,” Kris whispered back. “Thanks.”

“Let’s eat…I’m starved.” His hand waved towards the tables while he rubbed his stomach with the other hand.

The buffet lines were rather scarce so it didn’t take them long to pile up their plate and head back to the table. Adam, on the other hand, was a different story. He was quite edgy and kept looking from one table to the other until finally he decided that the scrambled eggs were calling his name. Heading over to the table with the eggs, he had the server pile them on.

"Thank you,” he said to the server, taking his plate full of eggs over to the table where the bread was located.

Standing in front of the table for well over a minute, Adam still couldn’t decide if he wanted toast or a bagel. “Ah…what the  
hell,” he mumbled, grabbing the bagel first, followed by two slices of bread in the toaster.

Looking over at their table, he noticed Kris smiling at him. Smiling back, he watched Kris as he went back to eating his food. He was beautiful and stunning in a simple way. And simplicity is what he longed for.

Closing his eyes, he pictured Kris’s bare shoulders and how he’d kissed those shoulders just seven hours earlier. They hadn’t really gotten that close to actually making love the night prior…but close enough for Kris to want to stop.

And as much as it pained him, he stopped. Adam wasn’t about to push Kris into doing anything he wasn’t ready to do…plain and simple.

Feeling someone tap him on the shoulder, he turned around. “Yeah?”

“Oh my God,” the young boy gasped. “It is you.”

Letting a frustrated breath out of his nose, he managed a weak smile. “In the flesh.”

“I heard someone say that they saw you last night at the nightclub, but I didn’t believe it.”

“Well,” he said rather hesitantly. “Believe it.”

“I don’t have anything on me right now,” the boy said, looking down and in the pockets of his shorts. “But would it be okay if I went and got some paper for your autograph?”

“Sure,” he replied sweetly, but not meaning a damn word of it. “It’d be fine.” Looking over at their table again, Adam noticed Kris looking at him with his nose all scrunched up. “On second thoughts…why don’t you just meet me by the beach volleyball net at noon? I’ll sign whatever you want there.”

“Really?”

Adam smiled. “Yeah…really.”

“Thanks,” the boy said, walking away.

Hearing the toaster pop, Adam grabbed them without worrying about any butter or jelly. He could tell by the look in Kris’s eyes that he needed to come clean about what he did for a living. Kris looked confused and almost somewhat hurt.

Slowly, Adam made his way over to him and placed his plate down. “Did you need anything else before I sit down,” he asked.

“No…I’m fine.”

Adam sat down next to Kris as Kris glanced at his plate. “You must be hungry, huh?”

Adam looked at his plate. “I guess. Aren’t you?”

He could tell that Kris’s tone had turned sarcastic and wondered whether or not he should acknowledge it or just let it go.

“Is it food you’re hungry for, Adam…or just the men?”

Evidently, Kris wasn’t about to let it go.

Adam sighed and placed his fork down next to his plate. “Food.” Looking at Kris, he took a deep breath. “Look…it’s not what you think.”

“Oh…and how do you know what I’m thinking?”

“I knew what you were thinking last night, didn’t I?” he questioned, raising his eyebrows to get his point across.

“Lucky guess, I suppose.” Turning back to his plate, Kris dug back in and ate as Adam just sat there, staring. No words were spoken for over two minutes while Kris ate and he stared. Eventually, it must have started to bother Kris because when he finally looked up, he looked pissed. “Stop staring at me and eat…your food’s getting cold.”

“Kris…while I think your jealousy is cute, you really have nothing to be jealous over.”

“Oh no?” Kris questioned, dropping his fork to the table. “Then why am I?” Jerking his head towards the entrance of the restaurant, he sighed loudly. “I saw you…when you first walked in. A woman handed you something, you wrote something down on it and then hugged her. I saw you do the same thing at the nightclub last night too…even though it was smoky and dark…I saw you.”

Adam had to admit, it didn’t sound too good. And probably didn’t look too good either. He placed his hand on Kris’s and was just about to explain everything when Kris quickly starting talking again.

“And just right now…another guy started talking to you.” Pulling his hand out from underneath Adam’s, Kris placed it in his lap. “Do you always have people flocking around you and do you make it a habit to give out your phone number or room number or whatever it is you’re giving to them? Are you even gay? Or just bi?”

Adam had to hold back his laughter at what Kris thought. Bi…Phone number…that’d be downright disastrous…and room number? That’d be suicidal. Leaning in, he cleared his throat and made sure his voice wasn’t loud. “That’s not what I’m giving them, Kris…I’d never give out my phone number or room number to anyone.”

Kris’s head swung around, abruptly. “You gave me your room number!”

Dropping his head, Adam shook it. “That was different…listen to me,” he said, looking back at Kris again. “I was giving them my autograph, okay?” Kris’s eyes swept his face. He had a total look of disbelief in them. “I wasn’t completely honest with you about what I do for a living.”

Kris’s eyes flew open in horror. “You weren’t?”

“Well,” Adam trailed, taking off his baseball cap and running a hand through his hair. “I am a musician…and I’m pretty popular…that’s why I keep getting recognized.”

“Autograph?” Kris repeated, in a daze. Thinking for a few moments, he shook his head and peered at Adam. “Is that why you were asking all those questions last night?”

“Yes,” Adam replied flatly. “I asked you because I wanted to make sure that you weren’t just being with me because of who I am.” For a few moments, he just stared at Kris…trying to read his thoughts. “I’m sorry…but you’ve got to understand how difficult it is for me to trust people.”

“Who are you?” Kris shot back, ignoring Adam’s heart-felt plea about trusting people.

“Adam Lambert,” he replied honestly and quietly.

“Wow,” Kris replied, sitting back and looking Adam up and down. “Should I be nervous about this? I mean…you already make me nervous just by being Adam…now the idea of your being famous is going to make it worse.” Gasping, Kris jumped to his feet and placed his hands on his hips. “Was I just another conquest for you?”  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Where the hell did that come from? One minute Kris was fine and the next minute he was throwing accusations out.

“Fuck, no,” Adam replied, hastily grabbing Kris’s hand and pulling him back down to his seat. “If you’d been a conquest, I would’ve made sure you knew who I was right off the bat.” Placing his other hand on top of theirs, he rubbed the top. “Calm down.”

“Calm down,” Kris whispered. “And how do you expect me to calm down now? You’re famous, for crying out loud.” Kris threw his hands up and buried his face in them.

Leaning in, Adam whispered, “Is that going to change the way you feel about me?”

“No,” Kris whispered into his hands. “I’m just going to need some time to deal with it.”

“How much time?” he questioned.

Peeking at Adam out of the slits of his fingers, Kris sighed. “I don’t know, Adam.”

“Look at me,” Adam demanded, pulling Kris’s hands down from his face. “I’m still the same person you met yesterday afternoon…nothing’s changed. Don’t let the fact that I sing for a living scare you.”

“Sing for a living?” Kris rolled his eyes, but continued to let Adam’s hand hold his. “You do a little more than just sing Adam…you’re a phenomenon.”

Adam sighed and looked away. To an extent, Kris was right…but did that have to change things? He was human…he was a man…he put his pants on one leg at a time…and he had feelings.

“I’m not as huge as you think,” he said bravely.

“But…” Kris trailed, searching Adam’s eyes for reassurance. “You’re famous…you could have anyone on this island…” Lowering his voice, he whispered, “Anyone.”

Adam could tell by the look in Kris’s eyes that he was scared, confused and intimidated. Adam pretty much laid a big one on him and he knew it. “I don’t want just anyone though Kris,” he said quietly, leaning in to put a kiss on his forehead. Taking Kris’s hands, he pulled Kris’s head into his chest. “I want you….and despite the fame, don’t ever forget that what I really am…is just an ordinary guy in extraordinary circumstances.”

Kris mumbled, “Ordinary?” into his chest. “I’d hardly use that word to describe you.”

“I put my pants on one leg at a time, sweetheart. I put my shoes on one foot at a time and I have feelings just like everyone else. I may sign autographs, smile for pictures and hob-knob with other famous people…” He took in a deep breath and blew it out. Taking his hand, he began playing with Kris’s hair, taking in his scent. “But I’m human and all the fame and money and everything else that comes along with it…means nothing if I have no one to share it with.”

“You make it sound so simple,” Kris replied, pulling back and looking into Adam’s eyes.

“It is simple…don’t try and complicate it.”

Getting up from his seat, Kris stood in front of Adam. “I think I’m gonna head back to my room for a little while.”

Adam looked over at his food and pointed. “You haven’t finished eating.”

“I’m not really that hungry,” he said. Turning to leave, Kris stopped. “I’ll catch you later on.”

“Kris?”

“Yeah,” he replied, turning around to face Adam.

“Don’t let this stand in the way of what’s happening between us,” he said genuinely. “Fame doesn’t last forever…”

Slowly, Kris lowered his gaze while shaking his head. “Neither do most relationships, Adam.”

________________________________________

 

Lying in his bed, Adam stared at the straw roof above him. His thoughts detouring down a different path for just a moment as he wondered whether or not the rain would come through the roof and drown him…put him out of his misery altogether. That’d make for some great tabloid headlines.

Mumbling to himself, he wondered how long he was just going to lie there and feel sorry for himself. It’d been five days already, how much longer could he just keep himself cooped up in his room? As it was, he only left the room to grab something to eat and he made sure he went at the last possible moment.

Lee and Scarlet were worried about him, as usual, but he tried not to let that bother him. After all, they were the ones who insisted that he come on this damn vacation anyway. If he wanted to sulk and sit in his own room, then so be it. Who were they to say what he should or shouldn’t be doing?

________________________________________

 

Lying in his bed, Kris stared at the straw roof above him. His thoughts were detouring down the same path as he wondered whether or not the rain would come through the roof and drown him…put him out of his misery altogether.

Mumbling to himself, he wondered how long he was just going to lie there and feel sorry for himself. It’d been five days already, how much longer could he just keep himself cooped up in his room? As it was, he only left the room to grab something to eat and, he made sure she went at the earliest possible time.

Katy and Cale were worried about him, as usual, but he tried not to let that bother him. After all, they were the ones who insisted that he come on this damn vacation anyway. If he wanted to sulk and sit in his own room, then so be it. Who were they to say what he should or shouldn’t be doing?

Sitting up abruptly in bed, Kris dropped his head into her hands. What the hell was he doing? And why wasn’t he doing it with Adam?  
Who cares if he’s a rock star?

Who cares if he’s famous?

Who cares if drooling men and women surround him?

Not him. At least, not really. The drooling men part he cared about, but the rest of it, he didn’t. After only knowing the man for a mere twenty-four hours, he knew it in his heart…he loved Adam. He absolutely, positively loved him.

And he is a rock star.

And he is famous.

And he has got drooling men and women surrounding him.

It didn’t matter…what mattered is that he loved Adam and he wanted him and he wasn’t about to let him get away without a fight.  
He had already let five days go by…there were only eight days of vacation left. What was he waiting for?

Reaching down to his left hand, he played with his ring, twisting it around and then eventually taking it off. Something he hadn’t done, except to have it cleaned, in all the years that he had been a widower. “I’m sorry, Brian…but I need to let you go,” he whispered while trying to hold back the tears. “It’s time for me to let you go.”

Standing to his feet, he walked over to his suitcase and placed it inside one of the zippered compartments. “I’ll never forget you,” he whispered, looking up. “Never.”

________________________________________

 

Adam sat up in bed and lazily made his way to the door. Whoever it was pounding on it wasn’t about to give up until he answered. They made that much clear by repeatedly pounding for the last five minutes and repeatedly twisting the knob to see if the door could be opened.  
Throwing the door open, his mouth was wide open, ready to scream at whoever it was. Instead, he stepped back but left his mouth hanging open. “Kris.”

“Hi,” Kris casually said, shrugging. “Sorry, but I wasn’t about to give up for another ten minutes or so.”

“Oh.”

Looking at him questionably, he half-smiled. “Were you sleeping?”

“No.”

Shifting from foot to foot, Kris started to look uncomfortable. “Are you busy?”

“No.”

Looking down, he took a deep breath and then faced him again. “What’ve you been up to these last couple days?”

“Nothin'.”

“I haven’t seen you around,” Kris mumbled.

He shrugged. “I haven’t been around.” Adam’s eyes trailed the length of Kris’s body, taking in the sight before him. Kris looked tired; his hair was messy, and he was wearing nothing more than a pair of shorts and a tank top. Looking to his feet, Adam quickly noticed that Kris didn’t even have any shoes on. Bringing his gaze back to Kris’s, he couldn’t help but smile. “Left your room in a hurry, did we?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, frowning. “I didn’t mean to freak on you…it’s just that I was a little overwhelmed after you told me that you’re a rock star.”

Adam leaned up against the door jam and crossed his arms. “And…”

“And,” Kris followed, sighing loudly and visibly trying to catch his breath. “And…I haven’t felt the way I feel in a long time, Adam…a really long time and it’s scaring me and then you told me you were famous and I just kinda zoned out…I’ve never known anyone famous, or even remotely famous and I don’t want you to think that I like you just because you’re famous because I liked you before I knew you were famous and…” he stopped short and took in a deep breath.

“And…” Adam prompted.

Looking back at him, Kris wiped his forehead. “And…I think I might’ve lied when I told you that I didn’t have your CD, because the more I think about it I’m pretty sure I do own one or maybe even two of your CD’s but I’ve never been to a concert.” Shaking his head, Kris closed his eyes briefly before looking back at Adam. “But just by the fact alone that I own one of your CD’s probably makes me a fan, right?”

Adam shrugged, making sure he didn’t show any expression on his face.

“And I’m sure you have a ton of fans that want you and I don’t want you thinking I’m a fan, because if I really was a fan…I would’ve known who you were and I didn’t know who you were…so I guess I’m not really a fan then, right?”

Again, Adam shrugged.

“I mean…don’t get me wrong, I like that type of music and everything but I’m really not a fan per se.”

“Okay,” Adam said, raising his eyebrows. “So you’re not a fan.”

“Why are you looking at me that way?”

Adam shrugged. “What way?”

“Like I’m a fan.”

Adam sighed and cocked his head to the side. “You just said you weren’t a fan.”

“I’m not,” Kris huffed. “I mean…not really.” Dropping his head down, he took in another deep breath. “I’m afraid to turn around and leave…because I’m afraid I’ll never see you again if I do…but I’m pretty sure I’m just making an ass out of myself right now and…”

“What’re you trying to say, Kris?”

Looking at Adam, Kris bit his bottom lip. “I’m not sure…I guess I just wanted you to know that I don’t care what you do for a living or how famous you are…I just wanted you to know that.”

Taking a deep breath himself, Adam stared at Kris and sighed. “So…are you sure you haven’t been to one of my concerts before?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” he mumbled. “Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve never been to one of your concerts before…I’ve never been to any concert before. No offense or anything, but concert tickets are a little pricey.”

“Oh,” Adam replied, amused.

“It’s not like I can’t afford them, because I can…I just choose not to.” Shifting from foot to foot, Kris crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’ve got a pretty good job, a nice house and have even managed to save a little bit each week for retirement…so it’s not like I couldn’t afford concert tickets.” Mumbling something to himself, Kris started to shake his head repeatedly. “I don’t need your money if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Adam smiled, distorting his facial expression. “That thought never even crossed my mind, Kris.”

“Good,” he replied, straightening his posture. “Because that’s not why I’m here.”

“Are you ever going to get to that?”

Kris turned to leave and then stopped when he was halfway down the stairs. Turning around, he whispered, “You weren’t going to stop me, were you?”

Adam smiled, taking a few steps towards Kris. “Absolutely I would have. You wouldn’t have gotten past the fourth step, trust me.”

Placing his hand on the railing, Kris remained serious. “You would have?”

Adam nodded and took another step closer so that he could place his hand on top of Kris’s. “I know you’re not a fan, okay? I know you don’t need my money.” Running his hand lightly over Kris’s, Adam willed himself to relax. “I am hoping that you need me, though.”

“I do,” Kris whispered. “I really do.”

Noticing that his hand was bare of any rings, Adam looked back at Kris. “What happened to your wedding ring?”

Kris looked over at his hand and sighed loudly. “I took it off…I thought it was time to move on.”

“Is that what you were trying to say all along?” Adam questioned; gripping Kris’s hand and pulling him up the stairs.

“Yes,” Kris said quietly.

When Kris was finally standing right in front of him, Adam dropped his hand and cupped Kris’s face. “Why didn’t you just say that then?”

Kris shrugged.

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

By just the look in Kris’s eyes, he knew the answer. Kris was more than ready. And Adam was more than ready to help him move on.

“Yes,” he replied earnestly. “I’m ready.” Kris tried to drop his head, but Adam’s hands wouldn’t let him. Meeting Adam’s gaze with his own, Kris nervously smiled. “I know we haven’t known each other long…I know that. But what I feel is something so powerful that I just have to say something to you that I’ve wanted to say since sitting in your room only minutes after we first met.”

“What’s that?” Adam said, placing a small kiss on Kris’s lips and pulling back. “You’ve already said that you’re not a fan, you don’t need my money and I charge too much for concert tickets…what’s left?”

Swallowing hard, Kris searched Adam’s eyes. “I love you,” Kris whispered quietly. “You don’t have to say it back…I just wanted you to know.” Closing his eyes, Kris gasped for air. “I know I’m probably scaring you…but I wanted you to know.”

“Open your eyes,” Adam demanded. Once Kris did what he was asked, Adam lazily smiled at him. “The only thing that’s scaring me here is the fact that you’re thinking that maybe I’m not feeling the same way…because…” Adam trailed, searching for the right words to describe the way he felt without actually saying what he felt. That was always the way with him…beat around the bush…say what you mean without really saying it.

It was his way. It was every celebrity’s way. And as much as he hated to admit it, there was a distinct difference between Adam Lambert and Adam Lambert, the rock star. “Ah damn…Kris,” he said quietly, deciding not to follow his rules and just say what he felt. “I love you too,” he whispered.

Together, they both just stared at each other. It lasted this way for almost five full minutes and when the reality of what his words were finally sank in, Adam started to relax. “Wow…this is unbelievable…but I love you, I really do.”

“I know,” Kris agreed back. “I know.”

Adam got down on one knee and didn’t move. He stared down into the cement of the patio for a couple minutes before working up the courage to do what he was about to do. Swallowing down the lump that was perpetually stuck there, he finally raised his head.

“Oh my God,” Kris whispered.

“Kris Allen,” Adam said, staring directly into Kris’s eyes. “Will you marry me?”

“Oh my God,” Kris repeated, falling to his knees. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

Adam smiled, nodding his head. “This time…yes, I’m really asking you…by the way though, I think I asked you a couple nights ago too.”

“Oh my God,” Kris repeated yet again, cupping Adam’s face in his hands. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

 

_THE INTERVIEW_

_“So yeah,” Adam said, smiling from ear to ear. “That is basically how I proposed.” Raking a hand through his hair, he shrugged. “I guess I really proposed to him that night in the nightclub, but it wasn’t very romantic, ya know?_

_“I still can’t believe I did that…after knowing him for less than a week.” Laughing, he sat back in the chair and looked at Kris. “Really, we’d only known each other for what? A day or two…because the five or so days prior to that…we didn’t even talk or see each other._

_“It’s not something I’d recommend for everyone, that’s for sure.” Shaking his head, he frowned. “Hell, I’ve told my friends for years now…that they had to date for at least one year before even thinking about marriage, and after thinking about for a good year or two, then they could propose.”_

_Grabbing Kris’s hand, he squeezed it tightly. “I’m so glad that I didn’t follow my own advice,” he whispered. Lurching forward to the camera, he pointed a finger into the lens with his free hand. “But don’t you dare think of going against my advice y’all…do you hear me?”_

_Sitting back, he waited until everyone was done laughing before turning semi-serious. “I knew we’d be in for some stern lecturing from everyone who was close to us…but I seriously did not expect it to happen to the extent it did.”_

_“Yeah,” Kris agreed, turning to Adam. “It was a little extreme really…everyone had an opinion about our upcoming nuptials…including all the fans and management.”_

_He half-heartedly laughed while still looking at Adam. “I think our parents were probably the most shocked…but in reality, I guess I couldn’t blame them. I’d been mourning for three years…went on a vacation for two weeks…and came back engaged.”_

_Rolling his eyes, he bit his bottom lip and looked into the camera. “It’s okay, dad…I forgive you.” Sitting back, he smiled. “It was a whirlwind of a romance and just like Adam said, I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone…but for us, it worked.”_

_Squeezing Adam’s hand tightly, he smiled. “But for us, it worked…it was just a matter of trying to convince everyone else that’d it work.”_

________________________________________

 “Oh my God, Adam!” Scarlet screamed through the restaurant. “Are you crazy?”

Adam searched the restaurant and nodded to the people that were staring their way, thanks to the sudden outburst. “Could you try and keep your voice down here, Scarlet? Everyone’s looking at us.”

Her eyes widened as she lunged her head forward. “Keep my voice down?” Shaking her head and sighing heavily, she slumped in her seat and slapped her forehead. “Shit…I can’t believe this is happening.”

Lee’s mouth was still wide open as he sat there in silence.

Adam looked at him and then back at Scarlet. “Listen…I know it’s kinda sudden…”

Scarlet’s hand flung off her forehead. “Kinda?” she spat.

“Okay,” he mumbled. “It’s more than kinda…I realize that, but in my heart…I know it’s right…can’t you just be happy for me?”

Lee finally found his voice, sitting up straight and glaring in Adam’s direction but not at him directly. “Happy? Dude…you just came out of a fucked-up relationship and now…less than three months later…you’re talking about marriage, do you realize how this sounds?”

“Yeah,” Adam replied, slumping in his seat. “I realize how it must sound and look but I’m telling you…he’s the one. I can’t describe how I know…just trust me on this, okay?”

Scarlet’s head had fallen by now, resting it in the palms of her hands and looking directly into the table. “Everyone is going to think you’re out of your mind, Adam…hell, I think you’re out of your mind. You don’t even know this guy.”

“I know enough,” he replied bravely.

“Enough?” Lee questioned, eyes full of doubt. “Enough to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him?”

Adam nodded his answer, unable to be bothered spelling out all the details. It was complicated, he knew that but he also knew that it felt right, despite what anyone else said or thought.

“Are you at least going to have a long engagement?” Scarlet mumbled into her hands.

“I doubt it,” he replied, looking over at her and frowning at the way she was behaving. “We’re talking about getting married next month.”

“Next month?” Lee spat out, loudly. He shook his head repeatedly, covering his mouth with his hand. “Okay…now I know you’ve lost your mind Adam…next month? Is the sex that good?”

Adam glared at his friend. “It’s not about sex, Lee…why does everything have to be about sex?”

Pointing to himself, Lee shook his head one last time. “Because I’m a man, Adam…and so are you, by the way.” Leaning in closer, his voice became quieter. “You haven’t even slept with him yet, have you?”

“That’s none of your business.” Adam managed to keep his cool, despite the sudden urge to reach over and deck his so-called buddy in the face. Was it that obvious that he hadn’t had sex in a while?

Scarlet’s head slowly turned towards Adam. “How can you marry someone when you haven’t even slept with yet? What happens if you’re not compatible?”

That about did it for Adam. He had heard more than enough. Standing to his feet, he cleared his throat. “I’m gonna head over to see my fiancé, if and when you two decide to be happy for me…then by all means, feel free to hunt me down and apologize. Until then, I guess I’ll see you at my wedding…or not.”

“Fuck!” Lee moaned.

Walking away from the table was the easiest thing he’d done all day. He didn’t need his friends pissing on his parade. Searching his way through the restaurant, he spotted Kris, who had his hands down and buried in his hands.

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself. By the looks of it, his little announcement wasn’t going well either. He stopped for a moment, trying to decide if he should just let Kris handle it by himself or stand by him.

Would it make matters worse by joining him?

Deciding that he’d better stand by Kris, regardless of whether or not it made matters worse, Adam took a few steps forward, taking a deep breath. “Round two,” he groaned.

As soon as he reached the table, it was obvious that he was spotted earlier. No one was saying a word and Kris was sitting up straight, almost acting as if nothing were wrong. “Hey,” he said, leaning over and placing a kiss on Kris’s cheek. “Mind if I join you?”  
He could tell by the look in Kris’s eyes, that he was being warned. Letting out a little laugh, he took a seat and nodded towards Kris’s friends. “How’s it going?”

No one said a word.

“Okay…what’s new?” he questioned again, eyes darting back and forth to each person.

Again, no one said a word.

He cleared his throat and tried his best to retain his composure.

“Okay…maybe I should try this again.” Looking at Kris, who was wide-eyed and desperately trying to send him a signal to shut up – which, by the way, he read loud and clear, but chose to ignore – he smiled. “So…what’s everyone here think about our engagement?”

Kris promptly sunk into his seat and moaned.

Katy grunted and looked away.

Cale looked right back at Adam and shrugged.

Seeing all their reactions, Adam couldn’t help but laugh. “That bad, huh?” Putting his arm around Kris, Adam pulled him in close. “Chin up, honey…we’ve got a lot more people we still have to tell.”

Katy’s head whipped around. “I’m glad you think this is funny, Adam…but I’m pretty sure you should probably be taking this seriously…marriage is a serious thing.”

Adam felt Kris’s body tense. Squeezing his shoulder with his hand, Adam looked right back at Katy. “So…I take it you’re not happy about this either?”

“You guys hardly know each other,” she replied, visibly shaken by the news. “Kristopher’s been in mourning for three years and while I’m the first one to admit that snapping out of it was looooong overdue…I’m not sure I agree with his decision to marry the first guy that asked him.”

She blew out a long breath through her nose and frowned. “I also don’t agree with him marrying someone he hardly knows either.”

“Hmmm,” Adam replied. “I can understand that.”

Kris’s head swung towards his. “You can?”

Adam smiled and winked at him. “Of course, but at the same time…she’s not us and she doesn’t know what we do.”

“Oh…” Katy trailed. “And what’s that?”

Adam kissed Kris quickly on his pouting lips and then returned his attention to the woman at the table. “We love each other.” He shrugged and smiled. “It’s that simple.”

“Okay,” Katy huffed. “So you love each other…fine…does that mean that you have to run off and get married?”

Adam noticed the look on Cale’s face and stifled his laughter. Cale didn’t look the least bit interested in what was happening. He probably could’ve cared less whether or not Kris was getting married. He just looked bored. Smiling, he looked back at Katy. “We’re not running off and getting married, Katy…we’ve decided to get married next month.” Turning to Kris, he smiled, noticing the distressed look plastered on his face. “Right, honey?”

“Oh my God!” Katy gasped. “Next month?” Turning to Kris, her hands flew up. “You never said it was going to be next month! You led me to believe that it would be sometime towards the end of the year.” Dropping her head to the table, she mumbled, “Your parents are going to freak and then kill me.”

Cale finally spoke up. Placing his hand on his wife’s head, he leaned over. “Katy…come on…Kristopher’s a big boy now. I’m sure once the initial shock is over, Kim and Neil will just be fine.”

Adam’s mouth dropped open at the mention of Kris’s father’s names. Looking over at Kris, he whispered, “Your father’s name is Neil?”

Kris nodded, squinting his eyes. “Why?”

“My brother’s name is Neil.”

“See,” Katy huffed. “You guys don’t even know each other!”

Kris’s managed a little “wow” before turning his head towards the outburst that came from the other side of the table.

“Okay, stop it,” Cale huffed to his wife. “Just knock it off…what Adam and Kristopher do is their own business…not ours.”

The glare from Katy’s eyes almost knocked Adam off his seat. She was hot about this marriage proposal and had no qualms about letting everyone know. Relaxing in his seat, he just simply stared back. He was not about to let her intimidate him…no way, no how.

“Can you support him?”

Kris gasped loudly. “Oh my God, Katy…please…stop it. I don’t need anyone to support me. I have a job and my own place.”

“My point exactly, Kristopher.” Katy turned back to Adam and frowned. “He mentioned that you were a musician or something like that…do you actively work? And by that I mean…do you get a paycheck every week?”

Kris dropped his head to the table, letting it fall down loudly. Adam glanced over when he heard the thud and wondered whether or not Kris’d passed out from the absurdity of this whole thing. He bent down some and made sure Kris was okay before looking back at Katy.

“Yes Katy…I can support him, but it doesn’t sound to me like he needs me too.” Adam raked a hand through his hair, silently trying to decide whether or not he needed to spell out his employment details to this woman. “And as far as getting a paycheck every week…well…” he trailed, deciding to keep his mouth shut. “I really don’t get one like that per se, but I manage quite nicely with receiving a check here and there.”

“Oh God,” Katy replied flatly, allowing her head to fall again. “His parents are so going to kill me.”

Cale shrugged while raising his eyebrows. Adam tried to not to laugh when he saw the man’s expression and the woman who had her head on the table. It was like a comedy act…only it wasn’t.

“Katy, you don’t need to worry about Kris’s financial needs,” Adam whispered, trying to calm her nerves. On one hand, he couldn’t blame her for being protective, but on the other hand, it was starting to get really annoying.

“Do you own your own home?” she asked, head still down.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “I own my own home.”

Katy looked up slightly, frowning. “Do you have the means to buy him an engagement ring?”

Kris’s head shifted slightly, but stayed down. Adam let out a little laugh when he heard Kris let out a moan.

“Yes, I have the means.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, rising up from her seat and standing to her feet. “Because I want Kristopher to have one and if you need to borrow money or something…Cale and I would be more than glad to loan you some.” Shaking her head, she moaned. “I’m not saying I agree to this at all…but if Kristopher’s happy…that’s all that matters.”

“I don’t need a loan, Katy, but thank you for the offer,” Adam replied, placing a hand on top of hers.

Cale stood to his feet as well and placed his arm around his wife. “Are you done yet?”

Katy shot him a disgusted look before looking back at Adam. “You know…a man’s supposed to spend two month’s salary on a ring.”

Adam laughed quietly. “So I’ve heard.”

Cale dropped his arm and pulled his wife in front of him. “Okay, honey…you’re done now…let’s go.”

“Congratulations, I guess,” Katy said quietly.

“Thanks,” mumbled Adam. “I think.”

When Katy was clearly out of ear shot range, Cale patted Adam on the back. “Sorry about that man…my wife’s a little protective if you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh…” Adam trailed, rolling his eyes and pursing his lips together tightly. “I’ve noticed.”

“She obviously doesn’t know who you are, Adam,” Cale said seriously.

Adam’s eyes flew open. “And you do?”

Kris sat up straight in his seat. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Oh yeah,” Cale laughed. “I know who you are…I’ve never missed an episode of American Idol.” Smiling, he winked at Kris. “And the reason I didn’t say anything is simply because I’m going to get great pleasure tonight watching my wife squirm when I fill her in on who Adam is.”

Laughing, he walked over and bent down, giving Kris a pat on his back. “Congratulations, buddy…I couldn’t be happier.” Holding out his hand, he shook Adam’s. “Congratulations, Adam…you’d better take good care of him and just to forewarn you…if you thought this was bad…just wait until Kim and Neil find out.”  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

After thoroughly checking himself out in the mirror, Kris sighed. He didn’t come prepared for this. Not at all. But, deep in his gut, he knew it was going to happen. When Adam left him only moments ago, he told Kris he’d be waiting back in his room for Kris.

The way he’d said it came across loud and clear…tonight was the night.

Dropping one of his suitcases to the bed, he aimlessly began rummaging through the clothes, desperately trying to find something suitable to wear to bed. So far, he wasn’t having any luck.

A couple of old t-shirts, and worn pajama short bottoms was all he’d brought. Hell, it was all he owned. He didn’t own anything sexy, not one single thing. He was as un-sexy as they came. Not intentionally, of course, but there was no reason for him to own anything sexy. He was a single, working man…a mourning single, working man who really didn’t give much thought to sex let alone have it.

Disgusted, Kris heaved the last of his clothes onto the bed and dropped to the bed himself. What was he supposed to do now? Wear one of his tattered old t-shirts? How romantic was that?

“Adam’s probably used to sexy…” he thought, distraught.

He jumped when he heard a slight knock at the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone. “Who is it?” he asked quietly, grabbing a hand full of clothes and tossing them back into the suitcase.

“It’s Katy.”

“Oh,” he replied happily. At least it wasn’t Adam. Walking over to the door, he unlocked it and swung it open. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Katy said, looking a little upset. “Can I come in for a minute?”

“Sure,” Kris agreed, stepping out of the way to let his friend in.

Katy took a few steps in and stopped, looking at the mess on the bed. “Looks like a windstorm came through, what’s going on?”

“I’m looking for something decent to wear tonight, but came up empty-handed.” Kris shut the door and walked over to the bed so that he could start straightening it up. “What’s up?”

“Not too much…just came by to apologize for tonight.”

Kris looked at his friend briefly while still putting his things back in order. “Don’t worry about it…you were just protecting me.”

Katy sighed heavily and dropped to the bed. Lying down, she became quiet.

“What else is wrong?”

“Cale’s pretty pissed at me,” she replied quietly. “He thinks I need to butt out and let you do what you want to do.”

Kris laughed, dropping to the bed as well. Lying down next to his friend, he sighed. “Don’t worry about it, Katy…I understand why you acted the way you did, it’s okay.”

“God…” Katy trailed, covering her face with her hands. “Adam must think I’m a complete ass and then of all things…” she paused momentarily to catch her breath. “I offered him a loan…God, I’m such an ass…but I had no idea who he was.” Sitting up, she turned to her friend. “Why didn’t you tell me who he was?”

Kris shrugged. “I really just found out myself.”

“You didn’t know either then, huh?”

“Hell no,” Kris replied, sitting up and staring at his friend. “How would I known who he was? I’m not into all these celebrity types either. When we talked about what he did for a living…he just said he was a musician.” Rubbing his face with his hands, he rolled his eyes. “He didn’t tell me he was a huge phenomenon until I got jealous about a couple of men and women coming up to him.” Kris sighed, falling back on the bed. “Oh my God, Katy…what the hell am I doing? Did I honestly agree to marry a rock star?”

“Yeah,” she laughed back, falling back again. “I think you did.”

“I’m getting married, Katy.” Hearing himself say it, Kris couldn’t actually believe it. “I’m getting married,” he whispered again. “I’m really getting married.” Jumping up, he leaned over and got right in his friend’s face. “And did you see how damn gorgeous my fiancé is?”

Katy sat up in bed, laughing. “I know…I still can’t believe it and yes, I noticed how gorgeous Adam is.” Her gaze traveled to her friend’s suitcase. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing, honey?”

Kris gave her a look so sincere that he knew he wouldn’t even have to verbally answer her, but he did anyway. “I’ve never been surer of anything in my entire life, Katy.”

Katy sighed. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.”

Katy smiled, looking over at the mess at the foot of the bed. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

It took a minute for Kris’s brain to switch gears. He was lost in thought, thinking about Adam. “Um…no, not really.”

“Could I help?”

“Um…no, not really,” Kris repeated shyly. As comfortable as he was with Katy, he couldn’t tell her what he was really looking for.  
Katy stood up from the bed. “You sure? We probably brought something along the lines of what you’re looking for, you know. K-Y works for you?”

Kris’s eyes widened. “How do you know what I’m looking for?”

“Ah…come on, Kristopher,” she said, helping her friend to his feet. “I know how your mind works. You’re a guy, after all,” Katy made her way to the door. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Before Kris could reply, Katy was out the door, shutting it behind her.

“A shower,” Kris mumbled to himself, shedding his clothes quickly. Hearing the phone ring, he threw open the door and answered it before it even rang a second time. He needed to hurry. “Hey, Katy. Do you think it’s OK if I wear my old, holey t-shirt?”

“An old, holey t-shirt works for me.”

Kris threw his hand up over his mouth. It wasn’t Katy at all. It was Adam. “Sorry, I thought you were Katy.”

Adam let out a deep, short laugh. “I was wondering what was taking you so long. I take it you two have made up.”

Not knowing what to say, Kris stumbled for words. “Oh…um…um…”

“Don’t worry about your t-shirt,” he said slowly and deeply. Kris heard him take in a deep breath and moan. “More than likely…you won’t be wearing it for long anyway.”

When Kris didn’t reply, Adam laughed. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

“No,” he replied quickly. “Not at all.”

“Good.”

There was an awkward moment of silence where time just seemed to stand still…until Adam finally said something again. “How much longer are you going to be?”

“Half hour or so…I was just jumping into the shower,” Kris replied softly.

“Mmm…” Adam trailed. “Gives me time to jump into the shower too, then.”

Oh God…the thought of Adam jumping into the shower…stark naked…was too much. Kris’s imagination ran wild thinking about it. It was so vivid that he actually heard himself moan.

“What are you thinking about Kris?” Adam asked in a low voice.

Without much thought, Kris simply replied, “You…in the shower.”

Adam let out a quiet laugh. “Why don’t you just head over now and we can take one together.”

Kris’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah…really.”

“Okay.” Kris’s hand flew over his mouth. Did he honestly just say that? He was thinking it, but did it really come out?

“I’ll see you in a few minutes then,” Adam replied.

Shit…he did say it out loud.

Without even saying goodbye, Kris hung up and stood there in shock. Hearing the phone ring again, he jumped. “Yeah?”

“Bring the old, holey t-shirt with you,” Adam whispered into the phone.

Placing the phone back down, Kris ran in to the bathroom and threw his shorts and tank top back on. Quickly, he brushed his teeth and then ran back into the room, grabbing the first t-shirt he could get his hands on.

Throwing open the door, he bumped right into Katy. “Hey…slow down…what’s the rush?”

“No rush,” Kris replied, out of breath.

“You leaving now?”

“Yeah.”

“With that?” Katy questioned with a disgusted look.

“Adam wants me to bring it,” Kris replied, smiling. “He likes old, holey t-shirts.”

Katy rolled her eyes and handed him lube and a handful of condoms. “Take these,” she said smiling. “Now get going…you got everything you need.”

Kris looked down and gasped, his hand open. “Where did you get these?”

“Stopped at the gift shop too while I was at it,” she replied honestly. “You haven’t had sex in while, Kristopher…don’t make a mistake your first time by having it unprotected.”

“God,” Kris replied seriously while looking back at Katy. “I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“I know,” Katy said, patting her friend on the shoulder. “That’s why you have me.” Smiling, she began walking down the stairs. “Well…get going…you got everything you need.”

Stopping at the first step, Kris’s mouth dropped and his eyes flew open as wide as they could go.

“What’s wrong?”

“What you just said,” Kris mumbled, shaking his head. “About me not having sex for a while.” Taking a deep breath, he covered his face with the t-shirt he had in his hand. “I’m probably so rusty and Adam,” he said, stumbling for words. “He’s so…so…”

Katy raised her eyebrows. “Famous?”

“I wasn’t thinking that exactly,” Kris huffed, frowning at his friend.

Katy pulled the shirt off Kris’s head and laughed. “He probably has a few tricks up his sleeve…and aren’t you gonna have fun finding out what they are?” Winking, she grabbed Kris’s arm and started to pull him down the stairs.

Walking down the path in complete silence, Kris nodded to Katy and smiled. “I can take it from here, thanks.”

“Have fun, sweetie,” she replied, walking off.

Walking past Adam’s room, Kris headed for the beach. Staring into the darkness of the night, he dropped to the sand and looked up in the sky. He needed to do what he was about to do. He needed to let go. He had said his goodbyes to Brian earlier, but with things about to drastically change, he needed to really say goodbye.

For the first time in a long time, he needed to let Brian go.

________________________________________

 

By the time Kris was finally standing at Adam’s door, he was shaking. Literally. He was shaking from nerves and shaking from all the crying he’d done at the beach. But, he had done what he had set out to do. He had let go of the past and was…

The door swung open.

Kris was staring at his future.

Adam.

Adam was his future.

“I was beginning to give up on you,” Adam replied, taking his hand and pulling him in. Shutting the door behind him, he sighed. “It’s been over an hour since I called you.”

“I know,” Kris replied, quietly. “I had something to do.”

Adam dropped his hand and stood directly in front of Kris. Cupping his face with his hands, Adam lifted Kris’s head and stared directly into his eyes. “You’ve been crying.”

Kris nodded.

“Are you okay?”

Smiling, Kris nodded. “I am now.”

“Did you put your past to rest?”

How did he know? How did he always know? It was like Adam was reading his mind and that’s when it hit him…

“We were meant to be together,” Kris whispered.

“I know,” Adam said, smiling. “It’s kismet, Kris.”

Leaning in to him, Kris closed his eyes and placed his lips on Adam’s. He wanted to feel Adam’s lips. He wanted to feel more of him too, but that could wait. What couldn’t wait was him wanting to feel Adam’s lips.

After a few moments, Adam pulled away and winked. “You didn’t already take your shower, did you?”

Kris shook his head.

“Good,” he replied. Grabbing his hand, Adam led him to the bathroom. “Whatcha got in your hand?” Adam asked, stopping and looking down. Pulling Kris’s hand up, Adam turned his hand over and opened it up. Smiling, he reached for the lube and condoms in his hand. “I see you came prepared.”

Oh God…Kris wanted to die. He’d completely forgotten that they were in his hand. In the morning, he was going to kill Katy. Nervously, he fumbled with the condoms, letting them drop to the floor.

“Wow…six of them, huh?” Adam said, bending down and picking them all up, one by one.

Kris let his head fall back, closing his eyes. What a way to ruin a moment! After a few moments of cursing Katy out in his mind, he let his head fall forward. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to see Adam standing right in front of him, staring back.

“Embarrassed?” he asked with a slight smile.

“A little,” Kris reluctantly admitted.

“Don’t be,” he said, walking over to the counter and placing the lube and condoms down.

“Katy gave them to me,” Kris said, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks.

“I’ll have to remember to thank her.” After the condoms were placed down, Adam turned to Kris and smiled. “So…is she okay with this? With us?”

Kris shrugged. “I think she has her reservations…but Cale basically told her to butt out.”

Adam laughed, taking a few steps towards him. “I like Cale,” he whispered lowly. He gently ran his hand through Kris’s hair. “I wonder if our children will have dark hair like this,” he said.

His voice was driving Kris crazy. Deep, low, soft and sexy sounds came from that mouth of his and he was using it to his advantage, Kris was almost sure of that.

Reaching down to Kris’s waist, Adam grabbed hold of the t-shirt in Kris’s hand and took it from him. Bringing it up, he stared at it for quite some time. “Is something wrong?” Kris asked, looking at the t-shirt as well.

 “It was the only clean one I could find,” Kris said softly, not being able to look at Adam. “It’s not very glamorous. I’m not the sexy type…if that’s what you’re trying to figure out.”

Adam laughed, throwing the t-shirt on the counter. “Who says?”

“Me.”

“Sexy isn’t something people put on,” he replied casually. “Sexy comes from within.” Smiling at Kris, Adam looked him up and down thoroughly. “You know what I think?”

“What?” Kris could barely spit out.

“That you’ve been hiding your sexiness for the past three years,” Adam said quietly and with a raspy voice. “It’s time you let it out…and I’m sure that you’re more than capable of doing that in just about anything.”

His hands dropped to Kris’s waist, grabbing his tank top and gently pulling it up and off. When Kris heard himself moan, he instantly opened his eyes as wide as they could go.

Adam’s eyes flew up to meet hiss. “Moaning is sexy,” he whispered, placing a kiss on Kris’s lips and demanding Kris open his mouth for him. “Very sexy,” he mumbled.

Dropping his hands to Adam’s waist, he grabbed hold of his shirt and slid it up his chest, where Adam took over by removing it. Kris’s hands instantly shot up to Adam’s chest, allowing himself to feel the hardness of him.

His chest felt good and looked good. Kris could tell that Adam took care of himself. Bringing his hands to Adam’s face, he looked up and noticed Adam staring right back at him.

Adam stepped away and reached into the shower, turning on the water. Kris took this opportunity to remove his shorts and underwear quickly. When Adam turned back, his gaze dropped and then slowly made its way up Kris’s body. “Damn,” he mumbled, under his breath.

Grabbing the waistband on his shorts, Kris reached out and placed his hands on Adam’s. “Let me help you,” he whispered. Together, with their hands intertwined, Adam’s shorts were removed in one swift motion. He kicked them off with his feet and they landed on the toilet.

“Good shot,” Kris said, smiling. Allowing his gaze to travel down, his eyes widened at the sight before him. “Commando?”

“C’mere,” Adam said, pulling Kris in. Instead of answering his half-question, half-statement though, Adam silenced him when his lips nipped at Kris’s. Slowly, his tongue made its way inside Kris’s mouth, and Kris savored the intimate feeling of him.

“Hmmm…” Adam moaned, backing himself up to the shower. When his heels hit the edge of the shower, he stopped and let his hands fall to Kris’s bottom. Slowly, Adam’s hands circled his bare skin.

Feeling Adam’s hands on his bare skin, Kris moaned. A heat that he had not felt in a long time was rising from somewhere deep within and he could tell that it was about to take over. He was hungry…hungry for love…hungry for sex…and hungry for Adam.

Following his lead, Kris let his hands drop as well and enjoyed the feeling of Adam’s bare skin under his hands and Adam’s erection that was firmly planted against the lower portion of his abdomen. Slowly, he brought one hand around and stepped back, just a little, so there was some space for his hand to go.

When his hand lightly grazed Adam’s erection, Adam moaned inside his mouth. Lightly, Kris let his fingertips trace the outline of Adam, settling in on the tip. Feeling his wetness, Kris moaned again.

This may have not been much of anything for someone who was used to having sex, but for Kris, it was more than anything he’d done in a while. And it was damn hot.

The steam in the room was so thick now, Kris felt on fire. Adam’s touch, his own touch, the steam, and the heat between them were overpowering and he wanted to feel more of Adam. “Turn the shower off,” he mumbled. “It can wait.”

Adam pulled away and searched through the steam. “Someone a little anxious?”

“Yeah,” Kris admitted. “Very.”

“All the better to take a shower first,” Adam said casually. “Builds up the moment.” He stepped away and walked into the shower, with Kris following close behind.

The moment Kris’s body was completely in, Adam turned him around so that Kris was facing the wall and pressed his body firmly against Kris’s. Taking his hands, he trailed the entire length of Kris’s body, starting at the knees and working his way up to Kris’s chest.

When his hands finally landed on Kris’s nipples, Kris threw his head back and groaned. “Oh…God…”

Adam’s mouth went directly to Kris’s neck and made its way up to his ear. “I love you,” he whispered.

As much as Kris wanted to reply, he couldn’t. He was too far-gone, too far past comprehending anything but what his body felt. And what it felt was Adam…touching him, feeling him…

When Adam withdrew his hands, Kris moaned loudly, but remained still. Within a fraction of a second, he felt Adam pull him back and into the water stream. “Get your hair wet,” he demanded. For all Kris cared, Adam could’ve told him jump off a cliff and he would have.

When did he become so sex-starved that he couldn’t even think?

Once his hair was wet, he felt the shampoo being poured on and worked into a soapy foam by Adam’s hands. His big, muscular hands.

When did having his hair washed become this much of a turn-on? For crying out loud, he didn’t react this way when he was at the hairdressers…did he? He cringed at the thought but only for a minute, because then he felt Adam’s soapy hands working their way down his body.

Looking down, he watched as Adam washed him with only his hands. And Adam washed every last inch of him too. Carefully and skillfully…a craftsman who definitely knew what he was doing.

When Adam pulled Kris back into the stream of water, Kris let his head fall back while Adam rinsed it off, along with the rest of his body.  
Kris turned around and swore under his breath at the sight of Adam. He looked even better wet, if that was possible. His dark hair was slicked back allowing Kris to fully see the beautiful face that the hair sometimes hid. “Where’d you get the scar?” he asked, allowing his fingers to lightly graze.

“This week,” Adam whispered, smiling. “We’re gonna spend the entire time in bed…talking about everything and anything…ask me then.”  
Yanking Kris’s arm, Adam roughly pulled him in and crouched down to take his nipple in his mouth. Looking back up at Kris, he placed the nipple between his teeth and slowly backed off. “Unless of course, you want to talk about my childhood now.”

“No,” Kris mumbled, shaking his head wildly back and forth. “Now’s not a good time.”

“I didn’t think so,” Adam said, laughing.

Reaching down, Kris pulled him up. “Don’t laugh at me,” he said teasingly. “It isn’t polite to laugh.”

Adam bent down and swooped Kris up in a single movement. Kris yelped from being caught off guard. Turning him towards the faucet, Adam lowered him a little. “Turn it off,” he demanded.

Again, he did as he was told. “Hey…what about your shower?”

Adam kicked the door open with his foot and seductively smiled. “It can wait until after…” he trailed.

“After what?” Kris asked sweetly.

“After I’m done making love to you,” he replied, walking Kris into the bedroom and placing him down on the bed gently.

That was when Kris noticed that everything Adam did was gentle to a certain point. Was he always this gentle? Looking up at him, Kris studied him with his eyes. He didn’t look like the gentle type…not really anyway. Maybe he was cautious since it was the first time…but it was something more than that.

He just couldn’t place his finger on it.

And as much as he appreciated Adam’s gentleness, he really didn’t want it. True, he hadn’t been with a man in a while…but he wasn’t a china doll. If Adam wanted rough, Kris wanted him to give it to him rough.

Kris wanted Adam to take control.

He loved that about a man…always had and always would.

“Adam?”

“Yeah?” he replied, climbing on the bed softly.

“Are you always this way?” Kris looked at him and noticed the confusion in his eyes. “Are you always this gentle or are you just worried about me?”

“Why?” Adam asked. His eyes bore into Kris’s.

“Because I don’t want you to pretend to be something you’re not.”

“What’re you talking about?” Adam questioned, searching Kris’s face. “Is there something wrong with what I’m doing?”

“No,” Kris replied quickly. “But I’m gonna be honest here…as much as I appreciate you taking it slow with me…”

Adam interrupted him with a smile. “You want me to rough it up a little, right?”

“There you go again, reading my thoughts,” Kris said. His hand reached up and ran against the grain of Adam’s facial hair. “I want you to take control and show me how you really are.”

The smile on Adam’s face said it all. “You don’t mind?” Bending down, he whispered in Kris’s ear, “Because I can be gentle…I can be rough…I can be anything and everything you want me to be…you just tell me what you want and I’ll oblige.” Biting on Kris’s ear, he let out a deep laugh. “I’m gonna be honest with you here too…but I’m a control freak…I like being in control…always.”

Kris let his eyes close as he moaned hearing the words ‘being in control’. He wanted Adam to step up to the plate and take control. “Good,” he whispered, allowing his eyes to open. Turning his head slightly, he smiled at Adam. “I want you to be yourself…and don’t worry about me.”  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Kris lazily made his way in the backyard, heading towards the tree swing Brian had built when they first bought their home, right after their wedding.

Only it was no longer their home…it was just simply his home.

Running his fingers along one of the ropes that he had recently replaced, he smiled. Brian had cursed repeatedly over the entire course of that dreaded weekend when he built the swing; demanding that Kris’d better use it at least five times a week.

Little did he know how Kris followed through with his demand. Unless he was gone for days at a time, Kris made sure he sat on that swing a minimum of five days a week.

He sat down and immediately kicked into swing mode, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun amongst the cool October breeze.

 

________________________________________

 

 

Adam stood at the door of Kris’s home.

Should he knock?

Should he just walk in?

Should he turn around, head back into the rental car and call Kris first?

His studio work wasn’t supposed to be over yet, so maybe he'd better go and call Kris in order to give him a heads-up.

"Ah, what the hell," he mumbled while knocking on the beautifully hand-carved oak door a second time. Smiling, he noticed all the decorative birdhouses Kris had strategically placed on the country-style porch. They brought life to the weathered bench and chair and added charm to the small, old house.

Kris’s home was located in a quiet, old neighborhood where big, huge, old oak shade trees were in abundance. When he drove up to Kris’s house, he immediately felt the warmth of the friendly neighborhood.

It was something he wasn’t used to in LA.

Adam opened the screen door and tried the doorknob. It wasn’t locked. Was Kris crazy? Leaving a front door unlocked was unheard of in his world.

He slowly pushed the front door open. “Honey…I’m home!” he yelled loudly. If that didn’t get Kris’s attention, nothing would.

“Kris!”

Still, no answer.

Shrugging, Adam closed the screen door and jumped when it slammed shut.

“Mister,” he heard a voice call from a distance.

Adam turned to his left and noticed an elderly man standing in the yard next door. He pointed to himself. “Me?”

“Yes you,” the man said, smiling and pointing to the backyard. “Kris’s in the backyard, like always…on the swing.”

Hearing the word “swing” made Adam smile. Kris actually had a swing set? Thanking the man, he made his way to the backyard.

Before he was seen, however, he stopped and stepped back…taking in the beauty before him. Kris was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and jeans. He looked so simple, so stress-free that for a moment, Adam was jealous.

He was never stress-free and his life was everything but simple.

Did Kris even realize what he was about to get into?

Watching Kris, Adam’s heart pounded into his chest. Kris was beautiful. The scene almost seemed unreal for a moment, like something out of a movie.

Smiling, Adam stepped into the backyard and was immediately noticed.

“Adam!” Kris screamed, jumping off the swing and landing on his butt.

“Kris…are you okay?” Adam asked, taking long strides to rescue him.

Kris instantly shot up and ran to Kris, his arms wide open. When he reached Adam, he jumped up and clung onto Adam tightly. “Oh God…what’re you doing here? You weren’t supposed to be here until later.”

Adam laughed, hugging Kris tightly. “I can go and come back later if you want.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kris asked, pulling back to get a better look at Adam. Releasing his hold around Adam’s neck, he brought his hands to Adam’s face, cupping it and grazing his fingers along Adam’s jaw line. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“Not half as much as I missed you,” Adam mumbled.

“Wanna bet?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, swooping down and picking Kris up. “What’d you wanna bet?”

Kris’s face lightened up instantly. “Unfortunately it can’t be what you’re thinking about.”

“Why’s that?” Adam asked, walking to the patio.

“Because Cale’s gonna be here in a few minutes, he’s making me go shopping for a tux.”

“Damn,” Adam mumbled, setting Kris on the ground. “For the wedding I hope.”

“Of course,” he replied, smiling. Kris grabbed Adam’s hand and led him to the patio door, placing his hand on it. “Did you have a hard time finding my place?”

When he turned around, Adam smiled. The rays from the sun on Kris’s black hair made it shine and Adam couldn’t help but reach out and touch it. “Not at all. Just a hard time finding you until your neighbor told me you were on your swing.”

“I love to swing.”

Adam simply smiled again.

“Oh shit,” Kris gasped, looking through the door into the house.

“What?”

“I didn’t clean the house at all. I was going to do that in a little bit.”

Adam gave Kris a little nudge and stepped in the house. “Good…I’ll be able to see the real you then.” He heard Kris mumble something but didn’t quite catch it. His attention was directed towards the mess on the floor directly at his feet. He stepped over a couple boxes and laughed. There were boxes everywhere…every single place he looked. “You’re packing up to move already?”

Kris stepped in behind him and quickly started kicking empty boxes aside. “Moving?”

“What’re you doing with all these boxes?”

Kris stepped in front of Adam, bending down to retrieve some items that were strewn about on the floor. “What’re you talking about…moving?”

Adam looked at Kris, studying his every move. He was frantically closing up some boxes on the kitchen table now, placing them on top of each other. “Well…after the wedding, I just kind of thought you’d move into my place.”

“What?” Kris asked, turning around to face him. “I was thinking you could sell your place and move here.”

“Here?” he questioned, raising his eyebrows. “Honey…my place has a lot more room and it’s only fifteen minutes up the road.”

“Oh,” Kris replied sadly.

“Listen,” Adam said, taking a few steps towards Kris. He pulled Kris into his arms and kissed his forehead. “We’ll figure that out later, okay?” Pulling back, his hand settled on one of the boxes on the kitchen table. “Why don’t you show me around?”

Kris smiled and held out his arms. “Well, this is the kitchen and living room. Usually there aren’t boxes around but I’ve been packing up some items for storage.”

“You sure it’s only some items?” Adam questioned, pointing to all the boxes. “You’ve got enough boxes here to pack up the whole house.”

Kris’s smile faded. “I’ve been packing up some items that I should’ve packed up years ago.”

In the instant, Adam knew exactly what Kris was referring too. Instead of letting him know that though, Adam just smiled. “I see.” He looked around and took in his surroundings. Everything was painted a dark warm tan color, accented by browns and mossy greens. It was very warm, earthy and cozy.

“Come on,” Kris urged, taking his hand. “My bedroom is upstairs.”

Adam simply followed Kris up the stairs and swore when he heard someone knocking at the front door.

“Come on in Cale!” Kris shouted, pulling Adam into his bedroom. “I’ll be right down!”

 “Good Lord Kristopher! What the hell happened in here?” Cale yelled.

 “Oh shit.” Laughing, Adam walked over and hugged him.

“Are you gonna be okay sleeping in here?” Kris asked, mumbling it into his chest.

“Oh…I think I’ll manage.”

“Come on Kristopher! I don’t have all night!” Cale yelled.

Kris stepped back. “Do you want to come with us?”

“No,” he huffed, shaking his head. “I can’t see your tux until the wedding.”

“I’m not the fucking bride, Adam,” Kris laughed. “Plus it’ll probably be something simple…I’m not really into anything too fancy.”

Adam smiled. Kris didn’t need to tell him that, he already knew. “Your old, holey tee-shirt kinda gave that away.” Drawing Kris in again, Adam kissed him passionately, allowing the moment to last.

When he finally let go, Kris sighed, running his fingers over his lips. “Hope you got more of those for later,” he replied, catching his breath. “I’d better get down there.”

“Yeah,” Adam replied hesitantly.

Smiling, Kris headed down the stairs.

“God Kristopher…I see you’re finally packing up Brian’s stuff around here, even the pictures too huh?”

Kris froze.

Adam nudged her to continue on down the stairs. “It’s okay…I knew what the boxes were for.”

“Good thing you’re doing it now. Isn’t Adam supposed to be here later tonight?”

Kris froze again, still not down the stairs completely.

“God…you don’t want Adam seeing all…” Cale trailed, gasping when he saw Adam walking behind his friend.

“Surprised him by coming early,” Adam replied, shaking Cale’s hand. “Looks like I surprised you too.”

 “Oops,” Cale said quietly.

“Don’t worry about it Cale,” Adam said with a smile plastered on his face.

“You’re not going with us, are you?”

He laughed, falling back in the couch. “Wasn’t planning on it, why?”

Kris sat down on his lap and put her arms around him. “What’re you going to do while we’re gone?”

He scrunched up his nose and looked all around the house. “Oh…I’ll find something to do I’m sure.”

“Hey,” Cale said, walking over to the phone. “You want me to call Katy? She’s not doing anything, maybe she can come over and help you find something to do.”

“Sounds good to me,” Adam said. “Call her…and tell her to be prepared to cook…we’ll have dinner waiting for you guys when you get back.”

Kris frowned. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he said, giving him a quick kiss and looking to make sure Cale was on the phone. “Besides…I know how close you and Katy are, so this will give me a chance to get to know her better.”

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He patted Kris’s butt and helped him off his lap. “Do you need some money?”

Kris swung his head around. “For what?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know…the tux I guess or whatever else you find.” He started to pull out his wallet but stopped when he felt Kris’s hand on his chest.

“Put your wallet away. I’ve got money.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

 

________________________________________

 

 

By the time Katy showed up, Adam had managed to neatly pile all twelve boxes on top of each other and place them by the back door. He wasn’t sure where Kris had planned to put them, so he just left them there.

He was pretty proud of himself too. Not once did he intentionally look at any of the items inside the boxes. He could tell that many of the boxes were filled with just clothes and it made him wonder whether or not Kris was actually ready to put Brian’s things away or whether he was just doing this because Adam’d be staying with him.

The thought of Kris having Brian’s clothes still lingering around the house, after three years, was mind blowing. Most people didn’t keep a loved one’s wardrobe around for that long after they’d died…did they? Three years?

It made Adam think, seriously think, about what kind of man Brian was and whether or not he’d be able to live up to him.

Hearing the front door open, he made his way over. When Katy walked in, Adam leaned in and kissed her cheek. “How you doing?”

“Pretty good…thanks for coming over.”

“No problem…” Katy trailed, looking at all the boxes stacked by the back door. “Cale said Kristopher was packing up Brian’s things…I didn’t realize to what extent though.”

“Yeah,” Adam said, looking at all the boxes too. “A couple of them are empty…but for the most part, they’re all filled to the top. Apparently Kris hadn’t packed up anything of his.”

“No kidding,” Katy agreed, walking straight over to the boxes. “I thought it’d only be pictures and stuff.”

“Too many boxes for just pictures.”

“Did you look through them?”

Adam shook his head.

“You’re a better person than me.”

Adam walked back to the couch and sat down, his eyes still glued to the boxes. “I don’t look like him, do I?”

Katy’s head swung around as she made her way into the kitchen. “He got anything to drink in here?” she asked, opening the refrigerator door. “Cool…he does…you want a beer?”

“Sure.”

Katy walked out, handed Adam a beer and sat down on the love seat across from him. She took a sip of her wine, sighed and brought her gaze back to where Adam was seated. “No, you don’t look anything like him.”

Adam took a drink, thankful to hear what he’d just heard.

“Why don’t you just pull out a picture and see for yourself?”

Adam shook his head. “Nah…it’s okay…if he wanted me to see them, he would’ve showed me himself.”

“Suit yourself,” Katy replied, shrugging. “Anything else you want to know? Now’s the time to ask.”

Adam thought for a moment. He had about a million questions, but did he want to risk the chance of Katy telling Kris how nosey he was?

“I won’t say anything to Kris, don’t worry. Whatever gets said between us, stays between us.”

Adam smiled. “Thanks.” He took another swig of his beer and cocked his head to the side. Now was the time to ask…Katy said so herself.

“What was he like?”

“Brian was nice,” Katy replied fairly quickly. “After Kristopher and him got married, they pretty much kept to themselves really. They didn’t do much with anyone…they always wanted to just hang out at home. But, he was pretty nice…laid back and real family oriented.”

“Oh,” Adam replied. Hanging out at home didn’t exactly describe his lifestyle, not one bit. Of course, that wasn’t to say that he didn’t like to hang out at home, because he did. If he had his choice, he’d much rather hang out at home then attend any damn function he was always attending.

Katy laughed, getting up from the loveseat. She made her way to the boxes, opening the top one. “Come on…I know you’re dying here.”

Rummaging through the top box, she pulled out a 8x10 picture that was in a crystal frame. She turned back to Adam. “Here’s their wedding photo.”

“Okay,” Adam sighed. “Let me see it.”

Katy laughed, handing Adam the picture. “I gotta use the ladies room, I’ll be back.”

It took Adam only a few seconds to flip over the picture so that he could check out Brian for himself. But it wasn’t Brian that captured his attention at first…it was Kris.

Stunning, beautiful, young and extremely happy were the exact words that came to his mind. Slowly, his finger traced the outline of him. He looked happy…

He let his gaze travel over. Brian was nothing like how’d he imagined him. Or was he?

It was hard to tell whether or not he was muscular, like Adam imagined he would be, but he did look like he was built quite nicely. He studied his hair for a few moments. He imagined that he wouldn’t have any, due to the fact that he was in the Army for years. But he did…and it was a head full of light brown hair. Short and spiky too.

He ran a hand over his own hair and sighed. Maybe he should cut it. It probably wouldn’t hurt to have shorter hair when he met Kris’s family anyway.

“Okay sir,” Katy said, retrieving the picture from Adam’s hands. “That’s enough second guessing yourself.” She walked over to the box and placed the picture back inside. “I haven’t seen Kristopher smile in a long, long time Adam.”

“But…”

“But nothing honey,” Katy cut in, turning around. Her look turned serious. “Honestly, he hasn’t smiled in forever…you guys will be just fine.”

Adam stood up and let out a long, deep breath. “Do you think they would’ve been married still?”

Katy shrugged, making her way into the kitchen. “Who’s to say…a lot of marriages fail these days…besides, he’s not here anymore but you are.” Reaching into one of the cupboards, she stopped and turned around. “Listen…the fact that Kris’s packed up his things is a good sign…it really is.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Adam acknowledged with a slight nod, looking out the window. His eyes settled in on the tree swing that hung from the biggest oak tree he'd ever seen in his life. The white seat looked weathered, like it'd be sat on a million times. "That swing out there...Brian made it for him, didn't he?"

Katy stepped over and glanced out the window. "Yeah, he did."

"He didn't pack that up, did he?"

"Adam, come on now." Katy stepped away from the window, shaking her head. "That swing is one of Kris’s favorite things about this house."

Adam cleared his throat and looked away from the window. He didn't want to hear anymore. “What should we make for dinner?”

Katy rolled her eyes. “You just sit back and relax. I will make something real quick.”

Adam smiled. “You’re a doll.” Abruptly, he turned around and headed towards the door. “Hang tight…I want to get your opinion on something.”

He walked out the door and out to the street where his car was parked. He grabbed his duffel bag, his garment bag and pillow before making his way back into the house. Setting his things by the door, he opened the duffel bag and pulled out his shaving kit bag.

Adam walked over to the kitchen table and set it down; unzipping it, he pulled out a ring box. “What do you think about this ring? Think Kris will like it?”

Katy took a few steps over and gasped when Adam opened the ring box. “Shit…what’s there not to like about it? It’s fucking gorgeous.”

He pulled out another ring box. “What about this one?”

“Damn Adam,” Katy said, followed by a choke.

Adam retrieved another box and opened it up slowly. “Personally…this one’s my favorite.”

One big diamond along with four smaller ones were carved into the ring.

“Wow…tough choice,” Katy replied, taking a seat at the table. “You actually bought all these?”

“No,” Adam laughed. “They’re on loan from a jeweler I deal with.”

“Helps to be famous, doesn’t it?” Katy questioned, smiling. "Do you have an empty place for my husband in your band?"

“Yeah, I guess,” Adam mumbled, fiddling with the one of the boxes.

“They are all gorgeous, Adam. But…save yourself some money,” Katy said with a huge smile. “Start from the smallest one and work your way up.”

Adam laughed. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“When you gonna give it to him?”

“I don’t know,” Adam replied, placing all the boxes back inside his shaving kit. “But I think we’re flying to Conway to meet his parents tomorrow night…so it’ll have to be before then.”

“Oh God,” Katy moaned. “Have fun with them.”

“Oh yeah,” Adam mockingly said. “His dad’s not real happy about us anyway…I don’t want to make it worse.”

“Maybe you should let Kris wear the biggest ring of them all …just to leave a good impression on them.”

Adam laughed while he placed his shaving kit back inside his duffel bag. “Not a bad idea doll.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

By the time Katy and Cale left, it was late…too late for Adam to get down on his knee and propose anyway. That’d have to wait for the morning now. He had other things on his mind.

After clearing up the kitchen, Kris walked over to the couch and plopped down next to Adam. “I had a good time tonight.”

“So did I honey,” Adam said, placing an arm around him. “How about we go upstairs and have even more fun?”

Kris giggled, turning a bright shade of pink. Without any words, he stood up from the couch and held his hand out.

Adam put his hand in Kris’s and stood up. Slowly and without any words, they headed upstairs and straight into the bedroom. Once Adam shut the door behind them, he twirled Kris around and pressed him into the door. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that tonight,” he said deeply.

“Do what?” Kris asked teasingly. “Push me into the door?”

Adam nodded.

“Now what’re you gonna do?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Adam asked, leaning in to kiss Kris. Suddenly, he stopped and pulled back, bringing a hand to his head. “I think I’m gonna go get my haircut in the morning.”

“What?”

“You heard me,” he said, frowning. “I’m gonna get this all cut off…it’s about time for a change anyway.”

“Oh no you’re not,” Kris huffed, reaching out to his head. “I love your hair.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” Kris said quietly. “I don’t want you to cut it.” When Kris’s hand finally landed on Adam’s head, he gripped Adam’s hair and yanked on it. “I won’t have anything to hold on to if you cut it off.”

“You sure you don’t want me to cut it?” Adam asked, raising his eyebrows. “A lot of my fans liked it shorter better…you know.”

“Well,” Kris said, rolling his eyes. “ _This_ fan likes it longer…end of story.”

“How do you know you won’t like it shorter?” Adam asked, grabbing hold of Kris’s hand and prying it from his hair. “You’ve never seen it shorter.”

“I like it just the way it is.”

“Why won’t you like it short?”

“Because I like it like this Adam.”

“Is it because Brian’s hair was short?”

Kris’s head cocked to the side. “What’d you just say?”

“Brian had short hair, right?” Adam’s voice suddenly got lower. “Are you afraid it’ll look like his then?”

Kris pushed himself off the door and headed over to the bed. Turning around, he placed his hands on his hips. “How do you know what Brian’s hair looked like?”

“Just a good guess,” Adam said, leaning back against the door.

“Bull shit,” Kris replied, standing tall. “You looked at the pictures in the boxes, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.”

Kris squinted his eyes.

Adam threw his arms up in the air. “Okay…so I looked at one picture…what’s the big deal?”

Kris removed his hands off his hips and sat down on the bed. “It’s not a big deal…I don’t care that you looked Adam…but don’t cut your hair off just because you think I’d like it short better, because I won’t.”

“Is that why you’re attracted to me?” Adam questioned, folding his arms across his chest. “Because I don’t look anything like him?”

“No,” Kris answered quickly. “I’m attracted to more than just your looks Adam…God, I’m a much deeper person that that.” Lowering his gaze, he lowered his voice. “I’m attracted to what’s inside you too.”

“Oh,” Adam heaved back loudly. “So you aren’t attracted to me physically then?”

Kris’s head swung up. “I didn’t say that!”

“Then what exactly are you saying?”

“Why are you trying to pick a fight with me?”

“I’m not,” Adam said, shaking his head. “Now answer my question…are you or aren’t you attracted to me physically?”

“Are you serious?” Kris asked, looking at Adam like he was out of his mind.

“Hell yeah I’m serious,” he spat, nodding his head once.

“Would you please lower your voice…I’m not yelling at you, so why are you yelling at me?”

“Fine,” Adam said quieter. “Better?” When Kris nodded his head, Adam sighed. “So, do you find me attractive?”

Kris shot up from the bed and walked over to Adam. Eyeing him up and down, he finally looked Adam in the eye. “I find you _very_ attractive…you’re probably the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“Oh…so now you’re gonna mock me, is that it?”

Kris continued to stare at Adam right in the eyes, never removing his gaze. “I’m not mocking you at all…and you know it. I’ve never been one to be turned on by just looking at someone in my _entire_ life Adam…my entire life…and that includes Brian. When I look at you, I want you…when you touch me, I want you to touch me more…when you’re kissing me, I want you inside me and when you’re inside me…I don’t want it to end.”

Adam could tell how serious Kris was by just the tone of his voice. He was on the verge of tears…tears that he undoubtedly would be the cause of too. Swallowing hard, he reached out for Kris and pulled him close. “I’m sorry…I don’t know what the hell just came over me, I really don’t.”

“I do,” Kris mumbled into his chest.

“Could you please explain it to me then?”

Kris pulled back and looked up at Adam. “If you’re worried about me not being ready to move on with my life…you don’t need to be.” He took a deep breath and bit his bottom lip. “I have _never_ felt the way I feel when I’m with you. From the moment I first looked into your eyes, I knew I was a goner.” He nodded slowly. “I really did…you don’t have anything to worry about with Brian. That part of my life is over and I know that. That’s why I packed up his things Adam…I _want_ to move on with my life… _our_ life.”

“Hang on a sec,” Adam said, turning around and heading out the door. “There’s something I need to do.”

He walked out of the bedroom, down the stairs and retrieved his duffel bag, garment bag and pillow. When he got back into the room, Kris was sitting on the bed, waiting. “You brought your own pillow?”

Adam dropped his all his stuff and tossed his pillow at Kris. “I bring this baby wherever I go.”

Kris caught the pillow and slowly lifted his head above it. “You had it in Cozumel too?”

“No,” Adam pouted. “That was half the reason why I was so pissed in the first place.” He walked towards the bed, mumbling, “Well…that and how much the damn vacation cost me.”

Kris threw the pillow at him. “Hey…meeting me wasn’t worth every dime you spent?”

Adam winked at him, a devilish grin appearing on his face. “And then some.”

“You brought all that?” Kris gasped, finally taking a look at Adam’s things that were in a pile on the floor. “For one night?”

“Yep,” Adam answered, dropping to the bed and pulling Kris down along with him. Adam propped himself up on one elbow and studied Kris silently, forgetting about the reason why he wanted his duffel bag up there in the first place. “Do you have any idea of what you’re getting yourself in to?”

Smiling, Kris shook his head. “Nope, not a clue.”

Adam couldn’t tell if Kris was serious or not, his face looked a little of both, if that was possible. “Seriously Kris,” he stated, his gaze settling in on Kris’s eyes. “Your peaceful, quiet and stress-free life won’t exist once we get married, you know that right?”

Kris’s look changed.

“I’m not kidding around here…things are gonna change and you can try and kid yourself if you want to, but eventually you need to come to terms with that.”

Slowly, Kris nodded.

“I don’t think you realize what the full impact of marrying me is going to do to you.” Raking his free hand through his hair, Adam looked around the room. “For instance…this house,” he trailed, holding his hand out. “You said you thought we could live here after we’re married, right?”

“Yeah,” Kris quietly said.

“That isn’t going to happen…it _can’t_ happen,” Adam said very evenly. “Maybe ten years down the road it could happen…but right now…today, it can’t happen.”

“Why?”

“Because the fans would be pounding on the door left and right. And no matter what we say or do, it’ll happen. We can’t hide, as much as I’d like to sometimes…they’ll find us. They always do.”

“Oh,” Kris replied softly. “I see.”

Adam noticed the sadness in Kris’s eyes and heard it in his voice. “Do you see? Because it’s not fair to you unless I’m completely honest here.”

Kris answered him with a slight nod of his head.

Adam studied Kris’s face for a few moments before completing his thought. Kris looked scared and confused by his honesty.

Hopefully, by the time he was finished with his thought…he wouldn’t be scared off.

“I lead a very busy life…and I’m not saying that won’t change in the future, because it very well could and already has slowed to some extent, but right now…it’s busy.”

Kris continued to stare at him. Or was it into the ceiling? He looked completely zoned.

“Next week, I’m going to New York for two weeks to record a song I started on before I went on vacation…then there’s the wedding…then probably back in the studio again, God knows where and once that’s done…there’s promoting that I’ll have to do for the new album, then the touring will start.” He took a deep breath. “Are you still with me?”

“I think so,” Kris whispered.

“I’ll be on tour for the better part of a year.”

Kris’s eyes widened. “A year?”

“Pretty much,” Adam said, nodding. “And mixed in with all that mess is my charity responsibilities, appearances on top of award shows, not to mention my desire to try and break into acting…”

Kris stopped him mid-thought. “Are we going to be able to go on a honeymoon?”

Adam looked at Kris and slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry…but now isn’t a good time. We’ll have a few days but there’s not much to do in a few days honey.” Adam noticed the disappointment clearly. “If you want, we could wait to get married until I have more time.”

“Oh and when’s that gonna be?” Kris turned his head, looking back up at the ceiling. “You just said that you’ll be touring and stuff.”

Adam took a deep breath and cupped Kris’s chin with his hand. Slowly, he turned Kris’s head. “Do you want to wait? I need to know.”

Kris opened his eyes. “No…I don’t want to wait.”

Adam smiled. “Me either…but I want to make sure that you know…”

Kris covered Adam’s mouth with his hand. “Okay…that’s enough…I get the picture. Are you trying to scare me away?”

Adam shook his head diligently back and forth and waited until Kris removed his hand. “I just don’t want you thinking that once we’re married, I’m gonna be around to just hang out all the time.”

“You make it sound like hanging out is a bad thing.”

“Well, I don’t mean to. I just want you to understand this.” Looking at Kris carefully, Adam cocked his head slightly to the side. “Do you understand?”

Kris produced a weak smile. “I understand…I know you’re famous Adam…I just want you to understand something too.”

“What’s that?” Adam asked, kissing Kris on the forehead.

“That I love you and none of this stuff scares me. I may not like it all the time, but I know that it can’t be helped and I’m willing to make sacrifices if it means being with you.”

“I love you,” Adam said, smiling. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just close them.”

Once Kris did as he was told, Adam jumped off the bed and grabbed his shaving kit out of his duffel bag. Walking over to the bed, he unzipped it and pulled out all ring boxes. “Keep ‘em closed,” he huffed.

“I am…I am,” Kris whined, placing his hand over his eyes.

Adam opened each one of the boxes and lined them up on his pillow, making sure they weren’t in any particular order. Getting down on one knee, he grabbed Kris’s hand and pulled him up. “You can open them now,” he said.

When he opened them, Kris simply smiled at him.

“Kristopher Neil Allen, will you marry me?”

Kris’s eyes filled up with tears. “You already know the answer to that.”

Adam shrugged. “Tell me again.”

Kris smiled, cocking his head to the side. “Yes…Adam Mitchel Lambert, I will marry you,” he whispered.

Adam looked over to his side where the rings were and nodded. “Now…we need to get a ring on your finger darlin’.”

Kris turned his head, gasped and brought a hand up to cover his mouth. “Oh my God,” he mumbled into his hand repeatedly.

Adam watched as Kris’s eyes darted from one ring to another and then back again. He did this at least ten times…and each time, he mumbled, “Oh my God.”

Adam didn’t know what to make of it. “If you had something different in mind…” he trailed, noticing Kris’s body leaning towards the pillow.

“They’re all so beautiful,” he said quietly, reaching out to touch them all. “You didn’t get a different ring for every day of the week, did you?”

Adam gulped. Shit…he didn’t really think he’d actually bought them all, did he? Taking a deep breath, he stammered… “Um…um….well…um…”

Kris looked over at him and winked. “I’m kidding.”

Adam breathed a sigh of relief.

“Damn…I feel like Cinde-fucking-rella!”

“They’re all on loan until you decide which one you want. The one you want will be the one I buy.”

Kris slowly picked up the ring with five diamond baguettes and brought it to his face closely. “This one is absolutely breathtaking.”

“It’s not the norm,” Adam said.

“I know,” Kris said, smiling. His finger trailed the stones for a few moments before he looked back at Adam. “It’s so beautiful…just like you.”

Adam smiled. He thought the exact same thing when he picked that ring out… only it was the other way around. “It reminds me of you,” he said.

Kris looked at him and placed the ring box close to his heart, mouthing, “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” he said softly back. “Anything.”

Kris handed him the box. “This is the one I want.”

“You didn’t even look at any of the other ones,” Adam quipped, laughing.

“I don’t need to,” Kris mumbled. “This is the one I want.”

Adam took the box from Kris. “I had a feeling it would be,” he said, removing the ring and holding it in his hand. Adam lifted Kris’s hand up and gently slid the ring on his finger.

For a few minutes, no one said anything.

With tears in his eyes, Kris turned to Adam and simply smiled. “I can’t wait to show my mother, she’s going to love it.”

“The four smaller diamond baguettes represent…” Adam trailed.

Kris placed a finger over his lips to silence him. “I know…our four friends who dragged us on vacation.”

They were a match made in heaven.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

“Heaven?” Neil Allen said, rolling his eyes towards his son. “Now I’ve heard it all.”

“Dad…please…” Kris replied, his eyes darting back to his mother. They had just arrived at his parent’s and Adam was parking the rental car, “Just be nice to him, okay? Adam’s really nervous.”

“And he should be,” his father stated. “He needs to make a good impression here.”

“Neil…if you know what’s good for you…” Kim responded, shaking her head.

“I know…” He straightened his shirt and stood tall. “Let’s not keep this rock star waiting.” Neil smiled and headed towards the foyer where Adam had just stepped in.

“Oh God,” Kris moaned. It was going to be a long night - a very long night. When he and his parents returned to the foyer, Adam was standing there with his back turned the other way. “Adam,” Kris said, placing his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “I’d like you to meet my parents.”

Adam slowly turned around and held out his hand to Neil.

“This is my father, Neil.” Kris waited until his father and Adam were done shaking hands before turning to his mother. “And this is my mother, Kim…mom and dad, this is Adam.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Adam said with a nervous smile. Kris could tell how nervous he was just by the look on his face. And when his hand flew up to his hair to push it away from his face, Kris cringed slightly.

He knew how uptight Adam was over the hair issue, but he didn’t budge. Kris loved Adam’s hair and practically begged him to leave it as it was. Adam was almost out the front door that morning to go and get it cut, but he persuaded him to stop. He wondered now if that was such a good idea.

“Hi Adam, it’s so nice to meet you, dear.” Kim grabbed his hand and pulled him into the hallway towards the kitchen.

Neil simply stood there, checking out the situation.

“Neil, dear, why don’t you get everyone a glass of wine?” Kim suggested, throwing her husband quite the look.

Kris rolled his eyes at his father, nudging him with his elbow. “Please, dad…”

“What’s up with his hair? And…is he actually wearing eyeliner?”

Kris cringed at the tone of his voice and was glad that his mother and Adam were both out of earshot range. “Dad…please.”

“Please what, Kristopher?” he asked, placing his hands on his hips. “And he is definitely wearing nail polish…isn’t he?”

Confused, Kris looked at him. “So what? Why are you asking all these questions?”

His father sighed. Not a good sign. Whenever he sighed it meant he was disgusted with something or other. Right now, all bets were on him being disgusted with his son. “I just don’t understand why he has to wear eyeliner or nail polish.”

Now it was Kris’s turn to sigh. “Dad, it’s just his style, okay? He is a rock star. He has to look like one. It’s his job.”

Neil just stared at Kris, not convinced. “Maybe he can explain it better,” he replied, walking into the dining room of his home.

Kris stood there, shaking his head. Adam was going to be in for a long night. It was going to painful and he could only hope that by the end of the night, Adam’d still want to marry him. His family played an important part in his life. Thankfully, his brother was not married yet, so he wouldn’t have to deal with a sister-in-law …and what a blessing that was because his brother was going to be more than enough to deal with.

Sighing, he dropped his head. How would his brother react to Adam? For the most part…he was pretty cool and always had been. But he was definitely not into Adam’s type of music, not at all. He was totally into country music. And in less than thirty minutes, he’d be there too.

Between his father, mother and Daniel, he was pretty sure it was going to scare Adam off.

Or at least put him on high alert as to what he was getting himself into.

Kris slowly made his way into the kitchen, fearing the worst. When he made it there, he was surprised to see Adam standing over the stove, stirring something in a pot.

“Oh good, Kristopher,” his mother replied when she saw him. She threw a wooden spoon in his direction and pointed to the stove. “Check on the sauce, dear. I’m gonna go help your father with the wine.”

“Okay,” he replied with wide eyes. Walking over to the stove, he looked at Adam and nudged him with his elbow. “What’re you doing?”

“Helping your mother.”

“Why?”

Adam looked back at him. “Because she asked me to.”

“Oh.”

Adam stopped what he was doing and turned to him. “You got a problem with me trying to get in good with your mom?” he joked, squinting his eyes. “I’m gonna need to have someone on my side.”

“Not at all,” Kris replied, smiling at him. “And don’t worry about my dad…he’ll come around. Besides, you’ve got me on your side.”

“I knew I should’ve gotten a haircut,” he mumbled under his breath, returning his attention to the pot. “Did you see the way your father’s eyes shot right up to my hair?”

“Sorry,” he whispered back. “Just ignore him, he’ll come around.”

Adam put his free arm around Kris’s waist and pulled Kris closer to him. “So, are you a good cook?”

“The best,” Kris replied. “My mother was a good teacher.” Kris could feel Adam’s breath on his neck as he leaned in closer to his ear. Instantly, he closed his eyes and willed his body not to react to Adam’s voice…his breath…

“You ever cook naked?” Adam asked, squeezing Kris’s waist.

So much for not reacting…

“No…but I do wear an apron, just like my mom and just like you are right now.” Laughing, he glanced over at Adam. “I take it she made you put it on?”

“Hmmm…” Adam mumbled, ignoring Kris’s last question. “Cooking in just an apron sounds…”

“Adam,” he shot back. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Hey, you two,” Kim said, clearing her throat.

Adam immediately dropped his hand from around Kris’s waist.

Kris stood up tall and froze.

“Your father forgot to get the wine that I’d asked him to,” Kim said, grabbing the keys off the counter. “I’m having him drive me to the liquor store down the street, we’ll be back shortly.” She walked over to the stove and excused herself.

Both Adam and Kris stepped back from the stove and looked at each other.

“I’m just gonna turn this stuff off for now…keep your eye on it though, we should only be ten minutes.” Kim turned the knobs on the stove before turning around and smiling. “Daniel should be here shortly too.”

Kris blew out a breath. “No problem. Are you sure you don’t want Adam and I to run out and get the wine?”

“No,” her mother huffed. “You’re guests here…make yourself comfortable.” She turned around to walk away, but stopped short. Leaning her head in towards them, she whispered, “Besides, I’m gonna have a little talk with your father during the car ride.”

“Good,” Kris replied, rolling his eyes and looking over at Adam.

Adam took a seat on one of the stools on the other side of the counter, looking relieved at what Kris’s mother had just said.

Once they heard the front door shut, Adam raked a hand through his hair. “You didn’t tell me your brother was coming.”

Kris swallowed down the lump in his throat. Adam was right, he didn’t. And he did it on purpose too. “I know, honey,” he replied, making his way around the counter. “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want you to be anymore uptight than you already were.”

Once Adam’s hand slid down his face, his eyes focused in on Kris’s right away, but he didn’t say a word.

“It’ll be okay, just be yourself.” Kris smiled, trying to lighten the mood. “They’re gonna love you, just like I do.”

“Oh, I’m sure of that,” Adam replied sarcastically. “You’re his only brother and I’m the big, bad rock star with bad hair and makeup who came in and swept you off your feet.” Shaking his head, he mumbled, “He’s gonna eat me alive.”

“No, he’s not, stop it.” Kris grabbed hold of the swivel-top stool that Adam was sitting on and turned it around, positioning himself right between Adam’s legs. He placed his hands around Adam’s neck and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. “Do you need help loosening up?”

Adam smiled. His hands immediately wrapped around Kris’s waist, pulling him closer. “What’d you have in mind?”

Kris shrugged and then leaned over to place his mouth directly on Adam’s ear. “You’ll see,” he whispered, making his way to Adam’s lips.

Once their lips met, all bets were off. Adam’s kisses were enough to make him throw all caution to the wind and do something he’d never done before…let alone even thought about.

Opening his mouth, Adam’s tongue dove inside instantly. “God, Kris…!”

Kris knew what was happening, he could feel it happening.

“Shit…” he mumbled, prying Kris’s body from his. “Your parents are gonna be back here in a few minutes and what I definitely don’t need to be doing is sportin’ a hard-on.”

Kris threw back his head and laughed.

“You’re toying with me, aren’t you?” Adam asked deeply, bringing his hands up and cupping Kris’s ass. “Two can play at that game.”

When his hand rubbed Kris’s ass, Kris’s head flew back down to look at him. Eyeing him carefully, Kris let his gaze drop down. “Your apron’s not doing a very good job at hiding that hard-on, dear.”

Adam didn’t respond with words. He just pulled Kris closer with one of his hands but kept his other hand firmly planted on one of his cheeks.

Without saying another word, Kris crouched down and pushed Adam’s apron up.

“What’re you doing?” Adam asked, placing his hand over his erection.

Kris looked up at him and sweetly replied, “Just trying to help you loosen up, honey.” Without saying anything more, he pushed Adam’s hand aside and undid his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his dress pants and slid his hand into the opening of his boxers.

“Shit,” Kris mumbled, leaning back and propping his elbows up on the counter.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“You,” Kris replied before freeing Adam’s erection through the opening of his boxers and placing the tip of his erection into his mouth.

“What if your parents or someone…” Adam uttered.

“Makes it more exciting, doesn’t it?” Kris questioned, allowing Adam’s erection to remain in his mouth the entire time he mumbled his response.

“Your dad will throw me out on my ass,” Adam moaned, grabbing Kris’s head and pushing it down further.

Kris couldn’t think about anything else now except what he was doing. This was something he’d never done before…

Pleasuring a man in his parent’s home was a first for him…

Taking a risk as big as this was also another first for him…

He’d never done anything so foolish in his entire life…

“God!” he moaned, working his hand along Adam’s length while his erection was still firmly planted inside his mouth.

“Faster,” Adam moaned back.

Feeling Adam shift on the stool, Kris opened his eyes and looked up. Adam’s eyes were directly focused on him. What he could see of Adam’s eyes through the slits anyway.

“God…you’re beautiful,” Adam moaned, jerking slightly in his seat.

Kris pulled his mouth off Adam, but kept his hand working while he looked at Adam again. “And you taste good,” he said, licking his lips. “How about I pull my pants down and get on.”

“Baby, we’re not prepared for this.”

Kris pulled a small pack of lube and a condom out of his pocket, “I was kind of hoping this would happen. So I stretched myself in the shower before coming here.”

Adam’s eyes widened. “Shit…are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Kris replied, standing up and taking his pants off quickly.

“It won’t take me long, that’s for sure,” Adam barely said, watching his every move.

“That’s good,” Kris mumbled, removing his underwear. Swinging them around his finger in the air, he smiled. “Because we’ll be lucky if we even have five minutes.” Without any further hesitation, he stood on the rungs on the stool.

“You know what?” Adam asked, lifting Kris up and off the stool. “It’d be faster just to bend you over the counter.”

“Oh God!” Kris sighed, closing his eyes and letting his underwear fall to the ground.

“This is a first for you, sweetie, isn’t it?” Adam asked, pulling Kris in and kissing him passionately. “You’re not used to being bad, are you?”

“No…” Kris barely said, letting himself be turned over.

“Good,” Adam said, running his hands over Kris’s exposed bottom. “Step up on the rungs of the stool,” he demanded, squeezing Kris’s bottom while bending him over, leaving him completely exposed and vulnerable before sliding the condom on himself.

Within two seconds, he was inside.

Within five seconds, Kris was wildly pumping back against him.

It was frenzied.

It was hot.

And it was over in less than two minutes.

“Sorry,” Adam mumbled, grabbing a towel off the counter and wiping the evidence of their sexual escapade off Kris’s back.

“For what?” Kris asked, trying to catch his breath.

“That you didn’t get to finish,” Adam replied, helping Kris redress.

“Hey,” Kris replied, turning around and watching Adam frantically pull up his pants. “I still had fun.”

“Me too,” Adam said, smiling. Lowering his voice, he leaned in close to Kris. “And I promise that tonight you’ll definitely be repaid.” Once he finished buckling up his pants, he pulled Kris in close. “Damn, boy…I think I like this side of you.”

“Yeah,” Kris mouthed, pointing to himself. “Me too.” He kissed Adam passionately and smiled. “You relaxed now?” he asked, pulling back.

“Think so,” Adam sighed, bending down and picking up Kris’s boxers. “I just hope I don’t fall asleep during dinner now.”

Hearing the front door open, Kris jumped down off the stool and ran his hands over his clothes before shoving his boxers in his pocket. “Showtime.” Biting his bottom lip, he grabbed the towel Adam used from off the counter and made a face. He didn’t want his mother using it for anything, not knowing what they knew. Walking over to the garbage, he tossed it inside.

“Good idea,” Adam said with a smile.

 

________________________________________

 

 

After Daniel was formally introduced to Adam and the dinner was well on its way to being served, Kris cleared his throat loudly. “Hey everyone…” he said, holding up his left hand and moving it towards his mother who was sitting next to him. “Adam gave me my engagement ring last night.”

“Kris, honey,” his mother exclaimed. “It’s so beautiful…”

“Yeah, it is,” Kris replied, turning to Adam and smiling. Adam smiled back and squeezed his thigh.

“Let’s see, Kristopher,” Daniel asked, lifting himself up from the seat, stretching across the table. “Wow, it’s nice.”

Kris got up and walked over to his father, who was sitting at the head of the table and next to Adam. He smiled while holding his hand out.

“That’s beautiful, son,” Neil replied with questioning eyes. “But isn’t an engagement ring supposed to be a diamond?”

Kris playfully smacked his father on the back. “They can be whatever they want to be. Adam had different rings for me to choose from and this is the one I wanted.”

“Really?” Daniel asked, nodding. “You actually bought him different rings?”

“Well,” Adam hesitated.

“Yes, Daniel,” Kris interrupted. “He did…now he gets to take the rest back, right, honey?”

“Yeah,” Adam lied.

“So…” Neil said, filling his plate up with pasta. “Kris tells me you’re a rock star.”

When he heard the words, Adam forced a smile on his face and turned to him. “That’s right, sir.” He took the pasta dish from Neil and offered it to Kris. “I’ll hold it for you, honey.”

Neil cleared his throat. “Isn’t make-up for girls? My son tried to explain to me why it is that you’re wearing eyeliner, but he didn’t do a very good job. Maybe you could explain it better.”

Adam looked at his fiancé and immediately noticed the frown forming on Kris’s face. “It’s okay,” he whispered. Once Kris was finished with his helping, Adam began to fill up his own plate. “Well…I prefer to call it guyliner, sir. I believe that people should have their own style and there’s nothing wrong with that.” Adam took a deep breath and remained focused. He wasn’t about to let on how nervous he actually was. Hell, he should be used to this by now, what with interviews and all. But it was different. The situation was different. And he was nervous.

“It’s just a way to express yourself. I believe in freedom of expression. Don’t you, dad?”

Adam looked over at Kris and smiled.

Daniel laughed. His brother had a valid point. He looked over at Adam and took a drink of his wine. “So Adam…not to be offensive or anything…but I’m really not into that type of music.”

Adam could have sworn he heard Kris swear under his breath. Not wanting to draw any attention to it though, he remained focused on Daniel. At this rate, he’d be lucky if he got a bite of food into him. “No offense taken, Daniel,” he replied, holding up his wine glass.

“You actually like it?”

If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Adam would have laughed out loud at that question. Instead, he just took a huge drink of wine and smiled. “I like all different types of music.”

“Adam,” Neil said, placing his fork down and looking rather serious. “What are you going to do when this gig of yours is up?”

Kris lunged his head forward to see his father better. “Dad…please.”

“It’s all good,” Adam replied, placing his hand on top of Kris’s. “I’m not really sure this gig will ever be up. I’ve been in the entertainment business one way or another for a long time, sir and don’t have any plans of retiring any time soon, if that’s what you mean. There’s always acting too. I’ve had a few offers already but I just haven’t had the time to pursue that avenue yet and then there’s always politics.”

Once he said the word ‘politics’, he immediately regretted it. Everyone stopped doing what they were doing and glanced at him. Not a single word was said, but the look he was getting from everyone was clearer than any words.

Adam swallowed. “By politics, I mean…civil rights and LGBT issues.”

“So you’re going to be…what? The next Harvey Milk?” Neil asked.

“Dad!” Kris yelled.

 “Could we just stop with all the questions and let this young man eat?” Kim questioned, peering at the other men at the table. “I’m sure Adam doesn’t mind answering them and all, but please…haven’t we had enough for now?”

 

________________________________________

 

 

Once Kim put her foot down, the rest of the dinner went smoothly. Too smoothly. Everyone completely avoided Adam all together. He wasn’t sure if that was good or a bad thing. But at least he did get to eat, that was a good thing.

“Kim…the dinner was excellent, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Adam,” she replied, smiling from ear to ear. “I’m just glad that you got to eat it, honey.” Kim jumped up from her seat and asked Kris to join her. “We’re gonna go get dessert ready.”

Kris hesitated before standing to his feet. "Be nice," he whispered out loud.

As soon as Kris left the room, Neil leaned over and placed his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands. “What’re your intentions with my son?”

Adam slowly put his glass of wine down and looked over at him. “To marry him.”

“I know that, son,” he replied, shaking his head. “I mean, after that.”

Adam swallowed down the lump in his throat. Despite his reservations about just saying what he felt, he did anyway. He wasn’t going to play games. Marriage was a serious thing. “I love your son, Neil, more than anything. And I know that this all happened fairly quickly, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

 “Do you have any children?”

“No.”

“Are you sure about that?” Neil questioned, cocking his head to the side. “I know how you rockers can be. Are you sure you won’t have any kids crawling out of the woodwork down the road?”

“I’m positive,” Adam replied flatly.

“How are you going to give me any grandkids?”

Adam’s eyes flew wide open. Wasn’t that kind of personal? “Well…um…that’s a decision Kris and I have to make together. We can try the surrogacy thing. Plus there is always the adoption option.  One way or another though…I definitely want kids. I love children.”

“Thank God,” Neil mumbled, his hands flying over to Daniel. “This one is useless for grandkids…he still hasn’t found the one.”

Adam had to hold back his laughter on hearing that. Daniel looked a little perturbed with his father’s comment, but did not say anything.

“Are you going to take care of my son?”

“Absolutely,” Adam replied, looking back at Neil.

“Are you going to make him quit his job and tour with you?”

Adam stifled his laughter again. “I won’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, sir, I promise you that.”

Neil tilted his head slightly. “And you do realize that he’s a widower, right?”

Adam nodded.

“How is your schedule going to be?” he questioned, frowning. “Are you always going to be jet setting here and there and leaving my son behind?”

“I hope not,” Adam replied earnestly. “But I’m not going to lie either. Kris is aware of what my life is like at this point. For the next year and half, it’s going to be busy and I’m hoping that your son will come with me for most of it.”

“So you are going to make him quit his job then?” Daniel asked, finally speaking out.

Adam shook his head. “I’m not going to make him do anything. The choice is his. If he chooses to stay behind, that’s fine too. It’s not like I’ll be gone all the time. I have breaks now and then.”

Kris and his mother walked in at that moment with the dessert.

Neil extended his hand to Adam at that exact moment. “Welcome to the family, son.”  



	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

During the entire course of dessert, Kris’s hand was resting gently on Adam’s thigh underneath the dining room table. Centimeter by centimeter his hand was inching up.

Kris was enjoying this, Adam could tell.

Adam was enjoying it too, but it made him nervous.

“So where are you two planning to live once you’re married?” Daniel asked, taking a bite of his dessert. “If you already have a house in LA, Adam, what’re you planning on doing with your home, bro?”

Adam’s head immediately turned to look at Kris. Good question. What was Kris going to do with his house? It was something Adam was wondering too, but wasn’t really going to approach the subject until _after_ the wedding.

“Not sure right now,” Kris replied, looking uncomfortable.

“We won’t worry about that for a while,” Adam replied, reaching down and placing his hand on Kris’s. He gently squeezed it while looking directly at his future brother-in-law.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” Kim replied, smiling at her son.

“Well, if you’re planning on selling it, bro, you know I’d be interested.” Daniel put his glass of wine down and shrugged. “I’ve always loved that house. Brian did a damn good job of renovating…”

“Daniel…now’s not the time,” Kim said suddenly, cutting her son off short.

Kris immediately removed his hand from Adam’s thigh and dropped it to the table. “I’m not selling the house, Daniel.”

The determination in his voice caused Adam to glance his way.

“I will never sell that house,” he replied slowly. “Never.”

Neil immediately cleared his throat. “Daniel…what happened to that boy you’ve been training?”

“What boy?” Daniel asked, looking at his father.

“You know…” he trailed, obviously searching for words. “The disabled one…”

Adam watched the exchanged glances between Neil and Daniel. He knew the moment he saw the confused look on Daniel’s face that Kris’s father was desperately trying to change the subject.

“I don’t like you calling him disabled and you know it,” Kim replied, shaking her head, “He is just...different.”

 “I know,” he huffed. Turning his attention towards Daniel, he perked up. “So son…any new prospects for a wife yet?”

“God, dad,” Daniel huffed. “You never let up, do you?”

“Maybe you should’ve gone on vacation with your brother.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Daniel asked, rising to his feet.

“Well…” Neil trailed. “He found someone…maybe you could’ve found someone too.” Looking over at Adam, he cocked his head to the side. “Maybe you have someone you could try and set him up with.”

“Shit, dad,” Daniel huffed. “I’m not interested in hooking up with someone who’s a celebrity.”

Hearing his comment, Adam laughed. “I have friends who aren’t celebrities, Daniel.”

Neil leaned towards Adam and raised his eyebrows, “Anyone who might be interested in this one?”

Adam laughed again, shrugging. “You never know…I could ask around.” He turned back to Kris and nudged him with his elbow. Kris looked upset and hadn’t said a single word in over ten minutes. “Why are you so quiet, honey?”

Kris’s head lifted up and turned towards the kitchen where Daniel was headed. “Why would you think I was going to sell my house, Daniel?” Realizing that his brother couldn’t hear him, he brought his gaze to Adam. “You aren’t expecting me to sell that house too, are you?”

Neil quickly shot up from his seat. “I’m going to help your mother in the kitchen.”

Adam acknowledged him with a slight nod, but never broke his hold on Kris’s eyes. “I’m not expecting you to do anything you aren’t ready to do.”

“I’m not selling that house, Adam,” he replied flatly. “Even if I decide to move into your house, I’m still not selling that house.”

Adam couldn’t help but notice the tension in his face. He was upset and was about to let this go without a fight. Something Adam wasn’t willing to do…especially now. “That’s fine.”

“Do you really mean that or are you just saying that to pacify me?”

“I mean it.”

“That house holds a lot of memories for me.”

Adam nodded. “I know that.”

Kris’s eyes were filling up with tears. “I can’t just sell it.”

“At some point, Kris,” Adam replied softly, leaning in closer to him. “You’re gonna have to come to terms with the fact that memories are located here.” He pointed to Kris’s head. “And here,” he said, pointing to Kris’s heart.

Kris dropped his gaze to Adam’s hand, which was placed over his heart.

“Are you gonna have room in there for _our_ memories?” Adam took his other hand and lifted his chin so that Kris was looking at him. “We’re going to be making our own memories now.”

“I know,” he replied softly.

“Do you have enough room left for ours?”

He nodded, but only slightly.

“Is this moving too fast for you?” Adam questioned, noticing Kris’s hesitation. “Because if it is we can slow it down.”

“No,” Kris replied quickly, placing his hand over Adam’s. “It’s not moving too fast but at the same time, I know that he’ll forever be right here.” he tapped on his own hand, indicating his heart. “You know that, right?”

“Yes, honey…I know that,” Adam replied solemnly. “I’m not asking you to forget him, I’d never do that.”

“Then what are you asking me?” Kris asked, frowning.

“Is there room in there for me?”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

The rest of the evening was spent in the living room where Kris’s father pulled out photo album after photo album of family pictures. Adam thought it was a nice gesture on Neil’s part, but he could tell that Kris didn’t feel the same. He was overly quiet throughout the remainder of the evening and when he finally suggested that it was getting late, Adam couldn’t have been any happier.

While he was having a good time while Kris’s father reminisced, it was clearly obvious that Kris was not.

By the time they said their goodbyes and headed out to the airport in order to catch their flight back to LA, it was well past midnight. Together, they headed to the rental car and once they were both firmly planted inside, Adam turned to Kris. “Are you okay?”

“Fine, why?”

“You were awfully quiet back there,” he said, pointing to the house.

“I’m fine,” Kris mumbled, looking away.

“You don’t look fine.”

“I’m fine, okay?” he said, throwing Adam a stern look.

“Okay,” Adam replied, shaking his head and starting the car. “If you say so.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kris questioned, sighing loudly.

Adam turned the car off and turned to him. “Obviously something is wrong…and has been since your brother mentioned buying your house but if you want to lie and tell me that nothing’s wrong…fine.”

“I’m not lying,” Kris huffed, leaning over to turn the key in the ignition. “Let’s go.”

Adam turned the car off again. “We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“You know what’s wrong, Adam,” Kris replied tersely.

“No, I don’t,” Adam said just as tersely. “Or else I wouldn’t be asking.” Taking his hand, he ran it over his head. “Everything was fine until your brother asked if you were selling the house…so I’m assuming it has to do with that.”

“Good assumption.”

Adam watched Kris’s face tighten. “If you’re worried about me demanding that you sell your house, don’t be.” His jaw tightened, saying the words. He wouldn’t demand it, but in a way, he was expecting it.

“I can tell just by the look on your face that you want me to sell the house, it’s written all over it.”

Adam ran his hand over his face, trying to erase whatever it was that Kris thought he was seeing. “Why wouldn’t you sell the house?”

“See!” Kris pointed at him and said sharply, “I knew it…you want me to sell the house!”

Taking a deep breath, Adam exhaled slowly and loudly. “It’d be ridiculous for us to have two houses…only separated by miles, don’t ya think?”

“Why?” Kris questioned, shrugging. “Between your job and my job, we can more than afford to keep both.”

Adam’s shoulders slumped. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his face again. “That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?”

Adam slowly turned his head to Kris, taking a deep breath. “It’d be foolish for us to keep them both.”

Kris followed Adam’s lead and took a deep breath as well. “Why can’t we sell your house then?”

This time, both of Adam’s hands flew up to cover his face. “Haven’t we already gone over this? At this point in my life…I can’t live in a house that isn’t in some type of a secure atmosphere.”

“But you also said…that maybe down the road you could. Why can’t we just hang on to the house until that time?”

“God, Kris,” Adam huffed, rubbing his eyes harder. “That might not be for ten more years or so.” Removing his hands, he reached for the ignition. It was time to go.

Kris’s hand flew to Adam’s and stopped him. “Why are you trying to pick a fight with me?”

“Me?” Adam questioned, turning to Kris once more. “You’re the one who’s trying to pick a fight…not me.”

“I don’t like fighting,” Kris said, removing his hand from Adam’s. “Brian and I never fought.”

Trying his best to retain his composure, Adam dropped his head back against the seat, closed his eyes and silently counted to ten. “This is not about you and Brian…this is about me and you.”

When he re-opened his eyes, he glanced sideways at Kris. Kris’s head was down and his hands were folded in his lap.

“This is about Kris and Adam…not Kris and Brian,” he said, cringing at his choice of words. He didn’t like talking about himself in the third person. He hated it. “And quite honestly, it’s not normal _not_ to fight. We’re gonna have our disagreements, babe, whether you like it or not. And this is one of those times.”

Kris never said a word.

“You can’t compare your life with Brian to your life with me. I won’t allow it. I don’t want to be compared to anyone.” He took a deep breath and let his head drop back again. Kris still wasn’t saying anything. Not a word.

Not that Kris agreed.

Not that Kris disagreed.

Adam looked over at Kris out of the corner of his eye and sighed. Reaching down, he started the car and threw it in _reverse_. Maybe this was moving too fast, after all. As much as he wanted to believe Kris was ready to move on, maybe…he wasn’t.

“I’m not asking you to sell the home that you and your ex shared, am I? Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Kris,” Adam replied quietly, throwing the car into drive. “He lived in his own place for most the time that we were together, but if it bothers you, I’ll sell the house.” Keeping his eyes on the road, he couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. “I’m not that fond of it anyway. In fact, why don’t we do that?”

Kris’s head shot over quickly.

“I’ll sell my house and _together_ ,” Adam said, stressing the last word purposely. “We can buy or build a new one.”

Looking over at Kris, he quickly turned his head away. Adam wasn’t sure if that satisfied Kris or not. It was hard to tell being that it was so dark and Kris had his head turned.

“I’m sorry,” Kris finally mumbled into the darkness. “I don’t know why this is bothering me so much. I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place.”

Adam quickly pulled over to the side of the road and threw the car in park. Turning to Kris, Adam reached for his hand and held it tightly. “First of all, don’t ever be sorry for saying what’s on your mind, okay?”

Kris nodded.

“If we’re going to work through these issues, we need to be able to talk about them, okay?”

“Okay,” he said quietly.

“Are you sure this isn’t moving too fast, honey?” Adam asked, closing his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer to that or not.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Kris barely said.

Adam opened his eyes slowly. Kris didn’t sound very convincing. Resisting the urge to pressure him, Adam simply turned his attention back to the road and together they drove to the airport in complete silence.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Kris was pacing the floors of his home at a rapid pace. Adam still wasn’t there and he wasn’t answering his cell phone either. When they finally reached LA the evening before, Adam merely walked into the home and grabbed his things.

He wanted to head back to his house in order to check on things because he hadn’t been there in a while. That’s what he told Kris - whether it was a lie or not was unknown to Kris. What he did know was that Adam didn’t even ask Kris to go with him. And that hurt.

Grabbing another cup of coffee, he walked over to the picture window in his living room and stared at the street for a good twenty minutes before giving up and shutting the curtains.

Adam wasn’t coming back.

And Kris had no one to blame but himself.

He’d scared Adam away.

All it was all because of Brian.

Kris slowly walked over to the back door. Glancing down at the boxes, he kicked them with his feet. “Damn you, Brian…why can’t I just let you go?” he mumbled into the stillness of the room. “Why can’t I just let you go?”

Placing his coffee mug down on the floor, he grabbed the top box and ripped it open, his eyes settling on the first thing he saw.

Their wedding photo.

Grabbing it, Kris brought it close to his face. “I need to let you go,” he said loudly. Kris placed the photo back inside and slammed the lid of the box shut. Deciding right then and there that he needed to get the boxes out of his home, he made himself a mental note to call the church and ask them whether they needed Brian’s stuff. He just needed those boxes out…away from him and away from Adam.

He picked up his cup of coffee and headed to the couch. He plopped down and grabbed the remote next to him. Quickly, he began channel surfing…looking for something to get his mind off his worries.

Channel by channel, he surfed. And channel by channel, he worried. Why wasn’t Adam returning his calls?

When he quickly passed over E!, Kris could have sworn it was a picture of Adam that was plastered across the screen. Within a second, he switched back to E! and gasped when he realized it definitely was a picture of Adam.

A picture of Adam and his ex.

_“Sources close to Adam Lambert’s ex-boyfriend claim that they cannot either confirm or deny the rumor of Adam’s upcoming wedding because it was the first that they had heard of it. However, when Adam Lambert’s camp was contacted by E!, they declined to comment. Stay tuned for more news on ten to the hour, every hour, here on E!”_

Kris’s eyes widened as his heart sank. He’d never seen a picture of Adam’s ex-boyfriend nor had he a clue as to what he looked liked. Kris never asked and Adam never offered.

“He’s gorgeous,” Kris mumbled, trying his hardest not to cry.

But it was useless. Absolutely useless.

Without warning, the tears started falling one after another as the reality of what he’d just heard sank in. Adam declined to comment.

Declined to comment?

He felt like he had been sucker punched in the stomach. No, make that the heart. He glanced down at his ring finger and started to cry even harder.

They weren’t getting married after all.

Maybe it was too soon for Adam.

Maybe their relationship was going too fast for him.

And here Kris thought that he was the problem. Gasping for air, he grabbed his phone and dialed Katy’s phone number. He couldn’t think straight; he couldn’t breathe.

When his friend finally picked up the phone on the fifth ring, Kris started sobbing. “Oh my G-God, K-Katy…he’s g-gone.”

“Who’s gone?”

“B-Brian,” he choked out. “He’s g-gone.”

“Calm down, Kristopher. I can barely understand you.”

The request went unheard as Kris continued to sob.

“Kristopher…Brian’s been gone for three years.”

“Not B-Brian,” Kris spit out at his friend. “Adam…A-Adam’s gone.”

Katy took a deep breath. “You said ‘Brian’.”

“No I d-didn’t…I said ‘A-Adam’.”

“You said ‘Brian’ at first,” Katy replied matter of factly.

Kris gasped again for air. He couldn’t catch his breath fast enough. “I d-did?”

“Yes, you did,” Katy replied calmly. “Take a deep breath and calm down. What do you mean Adam’s gone?”

“I d-don’t know…but we h-had an argument l-last night about me not wanting to s-sell this house and he was s-supposed to be here already and he s-spent the night at his own h-house and he thinks that m-maybe everything’s been m-moving too fast for me and h-he told m-me that I’m c-com-comparing him to B-Brian and that I don’t h-have room in my heart f-for him and that fighting isn’t a b-bad th-thing.”

Katy waited for a few seconds to make sure Kris was finished.

“Katy…d-did you hear me?”

“Wow…I heard you.”

Kris buried his head under a couch pillow. “I just p-poured my h-heart out to you and all you c-can say is ‘wow’?”

Katy paused another minute before answering. “He’s right, you know.”

“What?”

“Maybe this is moving too fast for you and maybe you are comparing him to Brian and maybe you don’t have room in your heart for anyone else right now and maybe you do need to sell the house and he’s right about fighting too…it isn’t a bad thing… _not_ fighting is a bad thing.”  
Kris wanted to scream. How could his friend even say those things to him?

“For Christ’s sake, Kristopher,” Katy huffed into the phone. “You called him ‘Brian’ less than two minutes ago and didn’t even realize it.”  
“Shit,” Kris mumbled into the pillow.

“Do you actually think Adam would bail on this wedding and not even tell you? Come on…I don’t think he’d do something like that.” Blowing out a breath, she continued, “Maybe he’s stuck in traffic.”

“He won’t answer his cell phone. Katy…it’s over…Oh my G-god, what have I done?”

“You scared him off.”

_Oh God…I did, didn’t I?_

“And if you haven’t scared him off yet, you’re going to.”

_Oh God…I am, aren’t I?_

“I’ll be right over.” Katy took a deep breath and sighed. “And be prepared, Kristopher…I’m taking all those damn boxes of Brian’s things with me. You need to get them out of your house and out of your life.”

Kris hung up the phone and threw it at the wall. Katy was right - he needed to get Brian’s items out of his house and out of his life.  
If it wasn’t already too late.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam fidgeted in his seat. Due to a serious accident about a mile up the road, he was in a traffic jam and wasn’t moving. Hell, he hadn’t moved in over two hours now. Hearing his cell phone ring, he grabbed it. “What?”

“Adam…It’s Lane.”

Adam let out a frustrated breath. “How are you, Lane?” he asked, breathing heavily into the phone and slamming his fist on the dashboard. “Come on, people, let’s go!”

Lane laughed. “Stuck in traffic I take it.”

“Story of my life, Lane.”

“Hey, speaking of your life…is there something you forgot to tell me?”

Adam frowned at the man in the car next to him. The guy was picking his nose and then had the audacity to actually stare at his finger before slowly putting it in his mouth. “God…” he said drily, shaking his head in disgust. Returning his attention to Lane, he ran a hand through his hair. “Forgot to tell you what?”

“About your wedding?”

Adam blew out a long breath. “Damn…news travels fast.”

“So it’s true then?”

“Yeah, it’s true,” he replied with a low growl. “How’d you find out?”

“TV.”

“Shit,” he mumbled. “So they’ve already gone public with it then?”

“Yes and no,” Lane said casually. “Why didn’t you let me know?”

“Haven’t had a chance to. It all happened so fast,” Adam answered truthfully. “I was gonna let you know tomorrow.”

“Where are you now?”

“LA. Just got back from Conway,” he replied with a grunt. “Stuck in a Goddamn traffic jam.”

Lane laughed. “What in hell were you doing there?”

“Flew down here to get acquainted with the in-laws.”

“So…this boy anyone I know?”

“No,” Adam replied quickly.

“Okay, Ad,” Lane said evenly. “I’m not gonna ask how this all came about so suddenly. I trust you …but I need to know what you want me to say the next time some reporter calls about it.”

“What’d you say the first time around?”

“I declined to comment of course.”

Adam smiled. Lane was one of the best choices he’d made in his whole career. “You’re good, Lane.”

“Yeah…well…you wanna call the ex and tell him that?”

“No thanks,” Adam added quickly, laughing. “Got one of those myself.”

“Speaking of your ex…E! went to him too.”

“Shit,” Adam replied under his breath. “I’d like to know how E! even got wind of this anyway. Not too many people even know yet.”

“You don’t think one of your friends…” Lane added.

Adam interrupted him. His hand flew out and pounded the dashboard again. “I’ll fuckin’ kill them myself.”

“Ah come on, now…you don’t mean that.”

“Like hell I don’t.” Adam finally inched forward a few feet and was then forced to slam on the brakes. “Son of a bitch,” he moaned.

“Why don’t you just call me back when things calm down there.”

“No…no…sorry Lane. I’m just frustrated with this traffic.”

“You sure that’s all?”

Adam shook his head, but wasn’t about to admit that to anyone. He was having a hard time even admitting it to himself. Last night, he had finally come to the realization that maybe things were moving too fast for Kris after all.

For him…things weren’t moving fast enough. If he had his way, they’d just up and get married right then and there, that’s how sure he was about it. But, he wasn’t totally convinced that Kris was just as sure.

He thought Kris was sure when they were in Cozumel. He thought Kris was more than ready. And when he gave Kris the engagement ring and he opened up about how he felt about him then, he thought Kris was sure. He sounded sure.

But now, he wasn’t so sure if Kris was sure. And now he wasn’t so sure he wanted to try and convince himself that Kris was sure.

There were too many unanswered questions.

Was Kris ever going to be able to accept the fact that Brian was gone? Was there going to be room in Kris’s heart for him? Despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to marry Kris, he wasn’t going to marry someone who couldn’t let go of his past.  
It was out of the question.

Returning his attention to Lane, Adam dropped his head back. “So…what’d the ex have to say?”

“Apparently he said he could neither confirm nor deny it since it was the first he’d heard of it.”

“Oh…” Adam trailed, resisting the urge to scream. “Then he is capable of telling the truth when it suits his needs.”

Lane laughed and then grew serious. “So…when’s the big day?”

“Next month.”

“Shit.”

“Well, Lane…why wait? When you know that you’ve truly found your soul mate…why wait, right?”

“What’s the rush?”

“We love each other,” Adam replied earnestly.

 “Just love, huh?”

“Just love, Lane. I know this is gonna sound weird...but I knew the minute I saw him that he was it.”

“Just like that?” Lane questioned.

Adam smiled, remembering back. “Just like that.”

“Okay, Adam,” Lane replied. “What’d you want me to tell the reporters? It was love at first sight?”

Adam closed his eyes and sighed. “Decline to comment.”

“What?” Lane asked, raising her voice. “Are you serious?”

Unfortunately, he was dead serious. “At this point, Lane…just decline to comment.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

“Calm down. Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself isn’t really what I would consider a good next move.” Katy said after walking in from loading the last of Brian’s things into her minivan. She glanced over at her friend, pointing a finger in his direction.

Kris sighed as he slowly lifted his head up. “Katy, it’s too late for a move…he’s gone.”

“He’s not gone, Kristopher, he’s just nervous about the wedding.”

“Oh…is that all?” Kris spat back, throwing his hands up in the air. “Don’t you get it, Katy? He’s gone…G-O-N-E.”

Katy walked over to the couch, reached down, grabbed her friend by the shoulders and shook him once. “Calm down, okay? You’re freaking out here and if you don’t stop it soon, you’re gonna start to hyperventilate…just calm the hell down.”

“How do you expect me to calm down, Katy?” Kris jumped up from the couch and walked into the kitchen with his friend following closely behind. “I can’t calm down, okay? I don’t want to calm down! I just lost the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me!”

Katy stepped back. “Did you just hear what you said?”

“Yes, I heard it,” Kris huffed. “And I’m sorry, Brian,” he said, looking towards the sky and then back down to his friend. “But I thought I could never love someone as much as I loved Brian…but I was wrong.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I was so wrong…because what I feel for Adam is stronger than anything I ever felt for Brian…ever. I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on that man that this was going to happen.”

“What was going to happen?”

Kris sighed, dropping his hands. “That’d I fall head over heels in love with him…I just never thought that it’d be to this extreme, though. And what did I do? I blew it! That’s what I did…I scared him off because I couldn’t stop thinking about Brian and how I’d be betraying him by letting him go.”

“Kristopher,” Katy replied softly. “You’re not betraying him, honey…he’s gone. It’d be different if you were married and fell in love with Adam…but you’re not married anymore.”

“And I probably won’t be in a month, either!” Kris said, dropping his head to the kitchen counter. “Adam doesn’t think that I have room in my heart for him and for our memories but it’s not that at all…I was only scared because in my heart,” he said, grabbing his chest. “In my heart I know that Brian and my memories with him are fading…and God help me…I don’t want to forget him…but God help me…I love Adam more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my entire life.” Taking a deep breath, he kept his face buried on the counter. “He thinks I don’t have room for him but the truth is…he’s got most of the room already in there.” Removing his hand from his chest, he swept his arm in the air. “Brian’s room is dwindling…and this house is really the only thing left.”

Katy placed her hand over Kris’s heart and whispered, “You need to tell Adam that, honey…he’ll understand then why you’re feeling the way you are.”

“It’s too late, Katy!” Kris’s head slowly lifted up. “It’s too damn late…”

“It’s not too late, Kris,” Adam said, taking a step into the kitchen and looking directly at him. “It’s never too late.”

Katy jumped, turning around. “How long have you been here?”

Adam’s eyes never moved from Kris’s face. Smiling, he took a few steps towards him and stopped. “I heard the whole thing.”

“You did?” Kris asked, closing his eyes.

“Why didn’t you just tell me, honey?” Adam asked, taking another step towards Kris and reaching out for his hand. “You should’ve just told me how you felt…I would’ve understood.”

Katy cleared her throat and turned to leave. “I’m gonna just go now…I’ll call you later, Kristopher.”

Neither one even acknowledged what they’d just heard. Their eyes were glued to each other.

“Kris…I love you more than life,” Adam said quietly, pulling him into a hug. “Don’t forget that. And if you want to hang on to this house, then we’ll hang on to this house until you’re ready to do otherwise.”

“I love you, Adam,” Kris replied, burying his head into Adam’s chest. “God…I love you so much…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I was feeling, I’ll never keep it bottled up again.”

“Promise?” Adam asked, pulling Kris slightly back so that he could look in his eyes.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“And I promise you that I’ll scoot over and make room for your memories with Brian,” Adam said with such complete honesty that it even scared him. “I don’t want you to forget him, I’d never ask you to do that…just don’t compare us, okay?”

“I won’t,” Kris said, looking into Adam’s eyes. “I promise…besides, there really is nothing to compare. I’ve never been happier in my entire life than I have been over the last few weeks.”

“Me either, sweetheart,” Adam said, pulling Kris in close and kissing his head. “Me either.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Adam stood back and watched from a distance. His soon-to-be husband was standing over the gravesite of his late husband and saying his goodbyes for what was to be…the very last time. Kris was putting him to rest…after three years.

Adam shook his head at the thought of mourning after someone you love. Mourning was a continuous process, which he knew, but to actually put your life on hold for that wasn’t healthy. But that was exactly what Kris had done; he had stopped living to a certain extent.

And now it was time for him to live again.

Smiling, he stuffed his hands into his jean pockets and leaned back against a tree. The sight was depressing. Row after row after row of standard military headstones lay all in a row. Men and women who died in battle. Men and women who died for the United States of America. God knows how many of them left children, wives, husbands and family with nothing but questions.

One thing they all had in common was the fact that they all died for freedom.

And freedom was exactly what Adam was hoping Kris would feel after leaving the cemetery. Freedom from the hold Brian had on his life.  
When he noticed Kris falling to his knees, he pushed himself off the back of the tree and took a few steps before he stopped himself. Kris didn’t need him. What he needed was time to say his final goodbye.

Watching Kris’s face fall into his hands, Adam almost started crying himself. He hated seeing Kris in so much pain. Letting out a long breath, he let himself fall back against the tree again and tried his best to relax.

Never in a million years did he think that life would lead him down this path.

The path to happiness.

After years of unsuccessful relationships, he deserved to be happy.

Didn’t he?

After three years of mourning, Kris deserved to be happy.

Didn’t he?

Finding Kris was like kismet.

Loving him came as easy as singing did.

Looking up to the sky, Adam closed his eyes and silently thanked the universe for leading them to each other. His life was finally complete. The last piece of the puzzle was falling into place.

When he brought his gaze back down, he watched as Kris kissed his hand and then placed it on the headstone.

After three years, he was finally free.

If their love was going to be even half as intense as the love Kris and Brian had – and he was pretty sure it would be, it not more – Adam knew he was destined to spend the rest of his life in happiness. No more lonely nights…no more growing old alone…no more having no one to talk to…

He grabbed his cell phone and turned his back, kicking the tree while he waited for someone to answer on the other end.

“Lane…Hi…it’s Adam…Listen, scratch my earlier request of declining to comment about my upcoming wedding.” He took a deep breath and smiled. “Confirm it…the wedding will take place next month…and make sure you let anyone know who asks,” he paused, turning around and smiling at the sight of his fiancé walking towards him. “Make sure you tell them that I’ve finally found my soul mate.”

 

 

_THE INTERVIEW_

_“I knew from the first moment we met, he was the one,” Kris said with tears falling down his cheeks. “I really did…but it wasn’t until he took me to the cemetery and stood by me, showing me what kind of man he really was that it finally sunk in and took my breath away.” He stopped for a moment to collect his emotions. If he wasn’t careful, he knew what would happen._

_“That’s when I really knew,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been waiting for him my entire life.”_

_Adam placed his arm around Kris and smiled._

_“I thought I knew what love was…” Kris added, searching Adam’s face for reassurance on what he was about to say. “But I didn’t…not really.” Slowly, Kris placed his head on Adam’s shoulder. “And to this day, I keep learning just how deep our love goes.”_

_Adam took his free hand and lightly rubbed it over Kris’s head, which was still lying on his shoulder._

_“What he doesn’t realize is that I’m learning every day too. And that before he came into my life, I didn’t really know what love was either,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I really didn’t…but Kris showed me during every little step along the way and it’s been quite a ride.”_

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam placed his hands inside his pockets and sighed. What was the hold-up? Kris’s plane landed nearly an hour earlier and they still hadn’t appeared. There were rarely any problems at this airport. It was San Francisco, after all.

Slowly he reached up and yanked the bill of his baseball cap lower. He wasn’t in the mood to be recognized. All he was in the mood for was some down home loving…Kris style.

It’d been two and a half weeks since Kris went back to Conway to get things ready for the wedding and Adam’d seen him, two and a half weeks since he’d held Kris, kissed Kris, touched Kris…

He swallowed down the lump in his throat. He couldn’t even say the words if he wanted to. It was too painful to even think about it, let alone say it.

And over the past two and a half weeks that they’d been separated, Adam spent many hours racking his brain on how they could spend more time together. And it only played out one way…Kris’d have to quit his job. That was definitely going to be a touchy subject. A subject he didn’t want to touch until after he touched Kris.

He quickly walked over to the counter. “Is there a problem with flight 254?” he asked, approaching the lady. “They landed over an hour ago and they still haven’t exited.”

“No sir, there’s no problem,” she said, pointing to the signs. “The problem is with the signs there…flight 254 was delayed and it should be landing shortly.”

Relieved, he simply smiled.

“No problem,” she replied, noticing the smile.

Adam walked over to the seats and sat down. Even though he heard Kris’s voice every day, sometimes three times a day during the past two and a half weeks, it wasn’t the same as seeing him, touching him, feeling him…

“Damn,” he whispered under his breath. He was acting like an eighteen-year-old in his sexual prime.

How much longer was he going to have to wait?

The bulge in his jeans was growing larger by the second. If Kris’s plane didn’t land soon, he’d be tempted to take care of it himself…in the bathroom of course. Adam’s hand flew up to his eyes, covering them.

Adam jumped up from his seat and shifted as best he could without actually reaching down and doing it. This was insane…

This was totally insane…

But damn, he needed release. He’d been in need of it all week, but held off on taking care if it himself. “Wow…a whole damn week…I should be proud,” he groaned under his breath sarcastically, pushing the bathroom door open.

Doing his best to act naturally, he casually by-passed the urinals. He didn’t need to pee…he needed to relax. And the only way he was gonna relax was to quickly and carefully handle his problem in the privacy of a stall.

He dropped his head and pushed open the bathroom stall door. Without hesitation, he turned around, slammed the door and locked it. Adam reached for his zipper and hesitated slightly when he looked up. What if there were cameras in there?

As silly as it sounded, it could be possible. With all the security issues now at the forefront, it could be very well be a distinct possibility.  
Was he willing to risk the chance?

He lowered his cap further and dropped his head against the door. As horny as he may have been…he did have _some_ class, didn’t he?

Adam shook his head and shifted himself manually. He wasn’t going to risk the chance of someone, somewhere having a video of him jacking off. Even if they couldn’t tell who he was…it didn’t sit well with him. What if he wanted to run for President one day?

Quickly, he walked over to the sink and turned on the cold water. He cupped his hands under the stream and splashed the water directly on his face. His face wasn’t what really needed it though; it was his whole damn body.

He shook his head slightly to get any excess water off, took a deep breath and headed back to his original spot, to wait in pain.

When he finally looked up to see exactly where he was headed, he noticed Kris standing there, with his eyes growing wider by the second and his mouth turning up into the brightest smile.

“Adam!” he yelled from across the room. He threw his carry-on bag down and ran towards Adam, throwing his arms open.

Smiling, Adam waited with open arms as Kris ran towards him. He was the most beautiful man Adam’d ever laid eyes on.

“God, I’ve missed you,” Kris mumbled, hugging Adam so tight that he had to catch his breath.

“You feel sooo good,” Adam mumbled into his ear. “And look good.”

Kris’s voice turned soft. “I bet being inside you would feel even better.”

Adam froze with his eyes opening wide. It took him a few seconds to gather his composure.

“Have you missed me as much as I’ve missed you being _inside_ me?”

His mouth flew open. Should he comment or just let Kris keep right on going?

“Every night,” Kris whispered lowly. “I think about you and that lethal tongue of yours.”

Adam closed his eyes. Was he hearing right?

“Who taught you how to use that tongue of yours like you do? Anyone in particular?” Kris asked, allowing his hand to drop from Adam’s chest and head down. “Or was it from all those years of practice you had? I wish I could personally thank them all for the next sixty years of happiness I’m about to embark on.”

Yep, Adam was hearing Kris right.

“God,” Kris moaned into Adam’s chest. “I can’t believe you were sporting a hard-on walking out of the bathroom.” Kris’s fingers trailed down further. “What were you doing in there?”

All Adam could do was moan.

“Are you thinking about what you want to do to me right now?”

His hand grabbed hold of Kris’s hair at the back and yanked.

“Someone’s about to lose control, aren’t they?”

“Shit,” Adam moaned. “Let’s get your bags and get the hell out of here.”

Kris squeezed Adam’s inner thigh and pulled back. “I’ve missed you, honey.”

Adam’s eyes slowly opened and fixed on Kris. Maybe being away from each other wasn’t going to be so bad after all. “I thought you said you weren’t used to being bad.”

“I’m not,” Kris replied casually, taking Adam’s hand in his and walking back towards their bags.

Adam stopped and pulled him back, lowering his gaze and flashing a devilish grin. “Then what the hell do you just call that?”

“Practice,” Kris said, turning his back. “I need to get my technique down.”

“Oh…it’s down all right,” Adam moaned, allowing himself to be right pulled along.

Kris looked over his shoulder at his fiancé and smiled. “If I keep it up…” he trailed, looking down at Adam’s crotch. “Will you be able to keep it up?”

“Shit,” Adam groaned, throwing Kris a frustrated look before looking down at his private region. “Just be prepared to deliver.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

 “I have never, ever done anything like this in my entire life,” Kris moaned into Adam’s mouth, nipping at his lips.

“You sure?” Adam asked, pulling back and squinting his eyes.

“God…positive,” Kris said, burying his head into Adam’s shoulder.

“You sure climbed right on like an old pro,” he teasingly said. “It didn’t take much to convince you either.”

Kris was having a hard time concentrating. It wasn’t that he didn’t hear Adam, because he had, but the feeling of Adam was much stronger. “Just…by…oh…looking…at….oh God…you…I’m…co…”

Adam groaned, “Come for me, baby.”

Kris let out a deep laugh, followed by a distinctive, animalistic male sound. The sound was so fearful that Adam froze for a few seconds after hearing it. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Kris managed to say a few seconds later. He quickly stepped back into rhythm, closing his eyes. In all his life, he never thought he’d be the type to have sex in a car. Never. But here he was…in a car…having sex. Now Adam on the other hand, looked exactly like the type who’d have sex in a car. “Adam?” he moaned into his ear.

“Hmmm?” he asked back, thrusting up from his seat and deeper into Kris.

“Oh God…”Kris cried loudly. “Never mind.”

He had no idea where they were or how close they were to Adam’s mother’s house. He just knew they were in San Francisco to visit Adam’s mom. After leaving the airport, Adam quickly drove off and they ended up in an abandoned building’s parking lot less than twenty minutes later. Kris knew exactly what Adam was up to as soon as they pulled into the parking lot. And once Adam actually threw the car in park, his look was a dead giveaway. It was a look Kris really wasn’t familiar with, but he was sure he’d get to know.

It was only a few more minutes before they both collapsed and fell limp. “Oh God,” Kris said with a smile, plopping back into the passenger’s seat. “Is this how it’s gonna be every time we’re apart for a couple of days?”

“I hope so,” Adam said, rolling his head to the side to look at Kris. “Only it was more than a couple days.”

“True,” Kris said, completely satisfied. Watching Adam adjust himself back into his pants, Kris smiled. Satisfied wasn’t the only word that came to his mind. He reached down to the floor and pulled up his pants.

Adam threw the car in drive and took off.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

“They hate me,” Kris sighed, throwing his suitcase on the bed. “Especially Neil.”

Adam walked over to the bed and sat down. “They don’t hate you.”

“Yes, they do.”

“Calm down, Kris,” Adam replied, pulling Kris onto the bed. “Everyone’s just a little uptight with this whole thing. It has nothing to do with you.”

“It has _everything_ to do with me, Adam,” Kris sighed, dropping his head.

“They’re just a little skeptical with how fast it all came about. It doesn’t have anything to do with you personally.”

Kris lifted his head and peered at his soon-to-be husband. “They were quizzing me left, right and centre.”

Adam grabbed Kris’s hand and toyed with his ring while he shrugged. “It wasn’t as bad as your father’s questions.”

Kris dropped his head again. Adam was right. It wasn’t as bad, but at the same time, it wasn’t pleasant. And Adam’s mother really wasn’t the problem; she seemed nice enough and really didn’t say much throughout the dinner. It was his father and brother who was the problem. “They think I’m marrying you for your money…I can tell.”

“Who gives a shit?” Adam shrugged and smiled. “I know you’re not, that’s all that really matters,” he said, kissing Kris’s hand. “Isn’t it?”

“I give a shit, Adam,” Kris huffed, throwing himself back, slipping his hand out from Adam’s hold. “Why didn’t you just tell them that I agreed to sign a pre-nup?”

Adam continued to sit upright, but turned himself slightly so that he could see Kris. “It’s none of their goddamn business, that’s why.”

“Well,” Kris trailed, frowning. “I’d feel better if they knew.”

Adam got up from the bed and shut the door leading into the guest room all the way. Slowly, he started pacing the floor. “First of all, honey…I didn’t totally agree to a pre-nup. So, until I agree to anything…I’m not saying a damn thing about it.”

Kris took a minute to take in the simplicity of the guest room. It was obvious that at one time or another it belonged to one of the Lambert boys. It was painted blue and he could have sworn that he noticed some sort of pattern bleeding through the paint. Wallpaper maybe?

Adam’s words finally sank in. Kris stopped daydreaming and looked at him. “I thought everything was all set with that.”

“It was,” Adam replied, leaning back against the door of the bedroom. “But now I’m having second thoughts about it.”

“Adam,” Kris replied quietly, propping himself up on his elbows. “I don’t have a problem with signing it, okay? We talked about it and I agreed to it. Besides, I’m pretty sure that even my father would agree on this one. You’re only doing what needs to be done. I understand that.”

“Pre-nups don’t sit well with me,” Adam said, while looking around the room. “They never did…it’s almost like by having one you’ve already decided that there will be a divorce in the future and with us…it isn’t something I’m worried about.”

“Me either,” Kris replied, getting up from the bed and walking towards Adam. When he was about halfway to Adam, he stopped and did a complete turn. “Whose room was this anyway?”

“Neil’s.”

“Where are you sleeping tonight?” he asked with a smile.

Adam’s lips turned up slightly. “In my old room.” His eyes traveled the length of Kris’s body, causing him to feel lightheaded. “My mom’s a little old fashioned.”

“Aren’t all parents?” Kris asked, suddenly very aware of the looks Adam was purposely throwing his way. Lowering his voice, he smiled. “Are you gonna try and sneak in tonight?”

Adam shrugged.

“Do you want me to try and sneak in to your room?”

Adam shrugged again, walking towards him. “We’ve got to go back down there and have dessert and the entire time we’ll be stuffing our faces with some type of homemade pie…I’ll only be thinking about how I want to be stuffing my face with something else.”

“Adam!” Kris shrieked, unable to believe he’d actually just said what he did and as loud as he did. “What if someone hears you?”

He shrugged. “That’ll teach them not to eavesdrop.” He smiled, bent down and kissed Kris on the nose. Kris gripped him by the neck, pulling him down in one swift movement. “You sure I can’t interest you a quickie?”

“Damn,” Adam moaned, pulling away. “If my brother wasn’t here, I’d say yes. But I don’t trust the lock on this door or him for one minute.”

“Okay,” Kris pouted. “You go on and I’ll be behind you shortly.” He walked back to the bed and promptly let himself fall to it. “Right after I take care of it myself.”

Adam’s hand froze on the doorknob. Slowly, he turned around and winked. “Don’t take too long,” he said teasingly.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

 “What’s taking Kris so long?” Neil questioned while taking a bite of the apple pie in front of him.

“That’s Kris,” Adam corrected, throwing his brother a disgusted look. Glancing at his watch, he sighed. What was taking him so long? It’d been well over twenty minutes since he’d left Kris. Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at the steps leading upstairs and frowned.

“You men probably scared him,” Leila angrily said. “The way you two were quizzing him at dinner was uncalled for.”

“They didn’t scare me,” Kris replied, making his entrance into the dining room. “I was just unpacking a little.” He took a seat next to Adam and smiled. “Besides…I don’t blame them for questioning me, Leila. They’re just looking out for Adam.”

Leila handed him an empty dessert plate. “Help yourself,” she said, pointing to the desserts on the table. “There’s a distinct difference between looking out for him and being rude. What they did was uncalled for and I can assure you that it won’t happen again.”

Adam watched as Kris helped himself to the apple pie. He seemed more relaxed than he had at dinner. Eyeing him up and down, Adam’s thoughts traveled back to what Kris’d said right before he walked out of the room.

Kris put his plate down and looked over at Adam’s brother. “I realize that this all happened so fast…but I can promise you that I’m not after your brother’s money. I didn’t even know who he was until he told me and just to put your mind at ease…”

Adam zoned out, hearing Kris’s words. He wouldn’t…he just wouldn’t…

“I’ve agreed to sign a pre-nup as well.”

He did. He just did.

“I thought we agreed that the pre-nup wasn’t anyone’s business, Kris,” Adam said quickly. “That’s something between you and I.” He looked over at his brother and groaned. “What he wants to think is his problem…not ours.”

Kris turned to Adam. “I just didn’t want him thinking that this was about money, because it’s not. I have a job and a house and a retirement account and a savings account.”

Eber shifted in his seat. Neil followed suit.

“So you see, guys,” Kris continued, looking back at them. “I’m not interested in Adam’s money…I’m only interested in him.”

Leila laughed. “Maybe you should have Adam sign a pre-nup, dear.”

Kris and Adam laughed simultaneously. “Hey, that’s not a bad idea,” Kris said.

Finally, the conversation lightened up and everyone seemed more at ease…which seemed to make Kris happy, but made Adam more unhappy. He didn’t want his brother knowing all his business and right now, he did.

Adam’s eyes were glued to Kris’s, watching every move like a hawk watching its prey. Why was he suddenly so relaxed? What was he up to? When he slowly brought his fork to his mouth, he turned to Adam before taking a bite. With all the precision in the world, he slowly wrapped his lips around the fork and smiled. It was a long, dragged out bite too. He was savoring it, enjoying it and toying with Adam. He knew it.

“What’d you do?” he mouthed to Kris.

Kris looked at him with confusion.

“Did you?” he mouthed to clarify what he was getting at.

“Did I what?” Kris mouthed back.

Adam snapped his head forward. “You know,” he mouthed.

“I’ll never tell,” Kris mouthed back, smiling and running his tongue along his lips.

“Kris, dear,” Leila said, getting up from her chair and motioning for Eber and Neil to follow. “How are the wedding plans coming along? Is everything in order?”

Kris winked at Adam and turned to Leila. “Pretty much,” Kris replied. “My best friend has been taking care of all the details. She’s been able to organise most of it so far. She’s been a godsend.”

“And your tux?” Leila questioned, lifting the empty pie plates into her hands. “Have you already gotten one?”

“Yes,” Kris said, smiling. “It’s nice too.”

“Adam tells us that the wedding is going to be in your parent’s backyard,” Neil said, helping Leila carry the dishes into the kitchen.

“It is,” Kris said, placing his fork down and then placing his hand on top of Adam’s hand that was resting on his thigh. “My parents have a beautiful backyard and it’s huge so it’ll be just perfect.”

“How are your parents with this whole thing?” Eber questioned, while grabbing Adam’s dirty dishes from in front of him.

Kris bit his bottom lip. “Oh…they were a little surprised, like you. But they’re coming around.”

Adam tried to act naturally but it wasn’t easy. Kris’s hand dragged his hand to his thigh. He tapped Adam’s hand once before quickly grabbing hold of the tablecloth, stretching and tweaking it so that it covered what was happening underneath the table. He couldn’t help but be surprised. What the hell was Kris up to?

And did he even realize what he’d started?

Adam wasn’t one to back down from a proposition. And in his mind, that’s exactly what this was…

“So, have you met the in-laws yet, Ad?” Neil asked, taking a seat back down and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

Adam looked directly at Neil, but out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Kris’s eyes widening. His hand was gripping at Kris’s pants and slowly moving up. “Yes, we had dinner over there when I was in Conway a couple of weeks ago.”

Neil laughed loudly, reaching over for the coffee pot. “And you didn’t scare the hell out of them with that man-liner and freaky hair of yours?”  
Adam frowned at his brother.

“Actually, he wanted to cut it, Neil,” Kris replied, shifting slightly in his seat when Adam’s hand made contact with his crotch. “But I talked him out of it.”

“Oh dear,” Leila replied, slightly laughing. “Why would you do that? I’ve been trying to convince him to cut it.”

Adam’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. “I like my hair, ma.” He smiled when he realized that Kris was getting hard. _Damn_ … The feel of his hard-on on his hand was making him grow hard with desire himself. The farther he inched his hand up, the more Kris shifted in his seat. It was obvious that he wasn’t the only one affected by this little game.

“Are you okay, Kris?” Leila questioned, placing her hand on his. “You look a little warm, dear. Are you feeling okay?”

Adam smiled, leaning towards Kris. This was the perfect opportunity for him to slide his chair closer to Kris without it looking suspicious. Doing just that, his fingers were able to finally reach their destination. “Yeah, honey, are you okay? Your cheeks look really flushed.”

Kris turned to Adam and swallowed hard when he felt Adam’s finger slowly rubbing him. “Um…yeah…I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Adam asked again, pressing his hand a little harder. He bit his bottom lip and suppressed the laugh that wanted to find its way out. Kris looked anything but fine.

“Um…” Kris trailed, closing his eyes. “I’m fine…just a little warm that’s all.”

“I can open a window for you,” Leila said, rising to her feet. “Do you think that’ll help?”

“Probably not,” Adam replied, slowly pulling away his hand. “You’ve had a long day, honey,” he said, rubbing Kris again. “Maybe you should just head to bed.”

“He’s right, dear,” Leila said, stopping at the window. “Opening the window probably won’t help…but I’m sure a good night’s sleep will.”

Adam rested his head on the palm of his free hand, which was propped up on the table by his elbow. “You think a good night’s rest will help?” he asked, looking at Kris intently and pulling his hand away slowly again. When Kris didn’t respond, Adam’s fingers lightly trailed to his thigh and then back again. “Why don’t I just head to bed with you, I’m pretty beat myself.”

“Not yet, honey,” Leila said. “I’d like to talk to you some more about this wedding. I need to know what I can do to help.”

“Okay, mom,” he replied, withdrawing his hand completely. “Why don’t you head to bed and I’ll be up there shortly to tuck you in,” he said with a wink.

“Oh yeah, Adam…sure,” Neil said, throwing his brother a quizzing look.

“You showed him to the guest room, right, Adam?” his mother asked.

“Yes, mom,” he said, watching Kris straighten his pants before getting up from his seat.

“Thank you for dinner, Leila, it was wonderful,” Kris replied, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. “Eber and Neil, it was a pleasure meeting you and I’m looking forward to meeting your girlfriend too, Neil.”

“She’s looking forward to meeting you too, Kris. She was disappointed that she couldn’t make it,” he replied.

 “I understand, Neil,” Kris replied, walking over to Adam. He leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “And by the way,” he whispered into his ear. “I did do it.” Smiling, he quickly walked up the stairs.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam tossed and turned in his bed for nearly over an hour before finally attempting to sneak into the guest room across the hall. The floors creaked beneath his feet with every step he took, making it virtually impossible to go undetected. Hopefully, his mother was fast asleep or at least partially asleep or else he’d get an earful in the morning.

He felt like a teenager sneaking around. It brought back memories of his earlier years when he would try and sneak out to meet up with his friends in the park nearby. And every time he tried, he failed. If it wasn’t Neil ratting him out, it was the damn squeaky floorboards that gave him away every time.

By the time he finally made it to the guest room, he was exhausted and breathing heavily. He’d been holding his breath practically the whole way there while tiptoeing through the darkness. Slowly, he pushed the door open and made it over to the bed.

“Kris,” he said quietly, leaning down.

“Hmmm?” Kris replied, turning on his back and looking at Adam.

“Were you asleep?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Couldn’t sleep after what happened tonight during dessert.”

“Ah…” he trailed, getting down on his knees. “You liked that, didn’t you?”

“That was the single most erotic thing I’ve ever experienced,” Kris whispered.

Adam leaned in closer and raised his eyebrows slightly. “Better than the car?”

“Not better,” Kris said sweetly. “Just different and dangerous…God, do you think they knew what was happening?”

He shook his head and smiled. “Not my mom and dad,” he said. “But I think Neil knew something was up.”

“Oh God,” Kris moaned. “He probably thinks I’m a slut.”

“Nah,” Adam replied while shrugging. “And so what if he does…you’re my slut.”

Kris looked over at him and stared at him for quite some time before placing his hand on the back of Adam’s neck and pulling him down. “Have I told you how much I love you today?”

“Not enough,” Adam said, eyeing his lips.

“Well…I love you a whole lot,” Kris said with authority. “More than anything and I love your mom too…she’s really nice and your dad and brother aren’t too bad either.”

“They’ll lighten up eventually, honey.” Adam’s eyes stayed fixed on Kris’s lips. He wanted those lips. He wanted Kris. But the whole idea of his mother only sleeping down the hall was a little too risky for even him. “Now…were you serious when you said you did what I think you did?”

Kris licked his lips and brought his gaze down to Adam’s. “What do you think I did?”

Lowering his head, Adam’s lips brushed against his swiftly. “You actually did, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“Shit,” he moaned, leaning in and grabbing hold of the back of Kris’s neck. “Don’t toy with me…did you?”

Kris smiled sweetly back and then bit his bottom lip. “Could I interest you in a quickie?”

Adam laughed quietly. “You could interest me in a lot more than a quickie, boy,” he said, raising his eyebrows. “But my mom is right down the hall.”

“So.”

“ _So_?” He clenched his jaw and shook his head. “Don’t you think it’d be a little risky?”

“Yeah.”

Adam noticed the look on Kris’s face and instantly swore under his breath. Kris wanted it. Kris wanted him, but his mother was only yards away. He couldn’t do it. He shouldn’t do it. It’d be disrespectful, wouldn’t it? Adam closed his eyes and groaned. Was it disrespectful when he bent his fiancé over the counter of his soon-to-be in-laws kitchen?

Probably…but it was hot. Damn hot.

What was the difference?

When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see that Kris’s eyes were closed. “Hey you…are you falling asleep on me?” he asked, kissing him on the cheek.

“Hardly,” Kris moaned, shifting slightly from under the weight of Adam’s chest. “I’m just trying to figure out how I can convince you to change your mind.”

Adam’s lips trailed to his ear, where they landed and stayed while he took a deep breath in. Just the sight and sound of Kris was enough to convince him. Looking up for a brief moment, he sighed. “Sorry, mom,” he said, swinging himself on the bed. “Shit…we can’t do anything on this bed. Did you just hear the squeaks it made?”

“Yeah,” Kris said, laughing quietly. “The floor?”

Adam swung his legs back around and slowly slid himself off the bed and onto the floor. “Come here,” he whispered, holding his hand out.  
Kris took his hand and locked it in his. He locked it so tightly that Adam grimaced for a few seconds. Pulling Kris on top of him, he smiled.

“Thank you,” Kris mumbled; his face only inches from Adam’s.

“For what?”

“For being you and for loving me,” Kris replied sincerely.

“You’re pretty ease to love,” Adam genuinely said. “Now I, on the other hand, am not that easy to love.”

Kris lowered his head and kissed Adam passionately on the lips. “I disagree, Mr. Lambert…you’re more than easy to love.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Kris was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. It was well after eleven in the morning and their flight back to LA was scheduled to depart at three o’clock. He should be awake by now. By all practical means, he’d had more than enough sleep. He headed to bed a little after ten. That was thirteen hours.

He dropped his head in his hands and sighed. He went to bed at ten but Adam woke him up just a little after midnight and didn’t let him go back to sleep until well after two. Despite the fact that it was a fun-filled two hours, it seriously cut in on his sleep time.  
And sleep was something he craved.

He’d been in Conway for the entire weekend now and every night, Adam had called him. Their talks usually lasted hours.

The weekend had been wonderful. Adam pretty much attended to his every whim and took him to see pretty much all of San Francisco. It was a wonderful experience for him since he never ventured out much past LA.

“Kris, you look exhausted. Didn’t you sleep well?”

Kris looked up and noticed Leila pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Um…not really,” he said, forcing a small smile on his droopy face. “I’m not one for flying, so I was pretty much up all night worrying about it.”

“Me too,” Adam said, walking into the kitchen with a smile. “I didn’t sleep very well last night either.”

Kris looked over at him and rolled his eyes.

“Really?” Leila asked while handing her son a cup of the coffee she’d just poured. “Maybe it was all the funny noises that were keeping you up. I’ve been hearing them for the past couple of hours myself. I just can’t figure out where it’s coming from or what’s causing it.”

Adam simply took the cup of coffee and sat down at the table. Reaching over, he rubbed Kris’s back.

“I didn’t hear anything, Leila,” Kris said, shooting Adam a look.

“I did,” Adam replied with a smile. “I heard those noises too, mom. You should probably have Neil look into it for you.”

“Yeah,” she said, walking out of the kitchen. “You’re probably right…but somehow I don’t think I’ll be hearing them anymore.” She stopped before making her exit and turned around. “Maybe the next time you come for a visit, you can check it out yourself for me, honey. They’ll probably be back then.”

Kris’s eyes widened. He waited until Leila left the room and then looked at Adam. “You don’t think she knows, do you?”

He sighed, shrugging. “She knows.”

“What?”

“She probably knows,” he repeated. “Hey…did you talk to Katy about the wedding license yet?”

Kris frowned. He was embarrassed by the possibility of his soon-to-be mother-in-law hearing the two of them having sex. “I never should have let you talk me into having sex while we were here…now I’m gonna be embarrassed every time I see your mother.”

Adam threw his head back and laughed. “ _I_ talked _you_ into having sex? Don’t you think it’s the other way around?”

Kris sat up straight and hit him on the arm. “Shhh…keep your voice down.”

“Oh, all right,” Adam moaned.

“And yes, I talked to Katy last night,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Everything is pretty much all set for next weekend. God…” he trailed, smiling. “Can you believe we’re actually getting married in less than six days?”

“Not soon enough,” Adam said casually. “We should’ve just gotten married while we were in Cozumel and saved ourselves all this trouble.”

“What trouble?” Kris questioned, pouting. “We’ve hardly even done anything…Katy’s done most of it…which reminds me that I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Adam got up from his seat and walked over to the refrigerator. “Shoot.”

Kris swallowed down the lump in his throat watching Adam rummage through his mother’s food stash. It was now or never and better now while he wasn’t looking directly at him. “Um…how would you feel if I hyphenated my last name?”

The reaction he thought he was going to get wasn’t anywhere near the reality of what he got.

Adam slammed the refrigerator door shut and froze. He didn’t attempt to turn around and face Kris either; he just stared directly at the white door in front of him without saying a word.

“It’d be for work purposes mainly, honey,” Kris cautiously said, cringing with every word. “Don’t you think it’d be better if my students and colleagues at the school weren’t aware of who I was married to?”

Adam’s shoulders slumped. “Do you honestly think that most people would see your last name and immediately jump to the conclusion that you were married to me?” he asked, slowly and loudly. “Oh yeah…” he mocked. “He must be married to Adam Lambert.” Shaking his head back and forth, he continued, “Give me a break.”

“Well…” Kris trailed, rubbing his hands together. “Maybe, Adam.”

“Bullshit Kris,” he huffed. “Lambert is a pretty common name.”

“Not _that_ common,” Kris huffed under his breath. “I just don’t want…”

Adam flew around, and waved his hand in the air to cut him off. “You just don’t want to give up Brian’s last name, right?”

Kris was quick to follow Adam. He didn’t want him to be mad about this. He was merely just asking a question. When Adam slammed the bedroom door closed, Kris jumped back. Adam was pissed…no doubt about it. Opening the door to the room, he watched as Adam started throwing his clothes back into his suitcase.

“That’s not it at all,” Kris said. It really wasn’t. At least, he didn’t think that was the reason.

Adam barely acknowledged that he’d heard Kris speak. He wouldn’t even look at him. Instead, he sat on his suitcase and fought silently with the suitcase. And after he eventually got it closed, he picked it up and practically threw it at the door. “What else are you going to lay on me at the last minute?”

“Nothing,” Kris said, dropping his head.

“I thought you said you let Brian go,” Adam stated, stepping towards him. “Sounds to me like you haven’t.” Once he stood directly in front of Kris, he took in a deep breath. “How come every time I think we’ve gotten past this issue, you bring up something that just proves that we haven’t gotten past it?”

Kris closed his eyes and tried his best to drown out the remarks Adam was making. It didn’t seem to be working though, because shortly thereafter, his head flew up when Adam cleared his throat.

“As of Sunday, his last name will no longer be yours …have you accepted that or not? I need to know.” Adam raked a hand through his hair and groaned repeatedly. “Have you accepted it?”

Slowly, Kris nodded. “I’m sorry…I have accepted that, really I have. It’s just that I feel like I’m disrespecting him by giving up his last name.”

There…it was about Brian after all and he didn’t even realize it until just now. Trying to justify it by saying it was for work purposes was merely a cop-out and he didn’t even realize it.

“You can do what you want to do, Kris,” Adam replied, walking over to the door and retrieving his suitcase. “I’m not going to force you either way on this, but in my honest opinion you’d be disrespecting me if you didn’t give up his last name. As much as it hurts to hear me say this…Brian’s gone…and I’m here. You do what you want to do.” Walking out of the bedroom, Kris heard him sigh. “Better get your things packed, we need to get going."

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

There were only two days left until the wedding was to take place. Kris had taken the time off from work as unpaid leave. Between his vacation to Cozumel and his trip to Conway, he didn’t have any vacation time left for the year. And because of that and Adam’s schedule, they wouldn’t even be able to take a “real” honeymoon.

They had still planned on spending a couple nights in the bridal suite at the Four Seasons Hotel, but that was as far as the honeymoon would go.

Kris sat down at the kitchen table and stared out into the backyard. In two days, he was going to be Mr. Kris Allen-Lambert. In the days that’d passed, he came to the overwhelming conclusion that Adam had been right about his last name. It would be disrespectful to Adam and honestly, Kris was sorry that he’d even brought it up because in a way, it had created some tension between them.

Adam acted like everything was all right, but deep down Kris knew that Adam was upset and hurt. The real giveaway was the fact that Adam’d been spending the nights since they’d returned from San Francisco sleeping in his own home. Of course, his explanation was simply that he was doing it solely for the purpose of his late work hours. In Kris’s opinion, it went much deeper than that. And the only person he could be upset with was himself.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and moaned. He needed to go and get dressed for their early dinner plans. Their bachelor party was planned for later that night but before that was to get under way they had an early dinner planned with Adam’s band mates and friends.

There were only a handful of people attending the party later that evening. Lee was the one who was throwing the party and according to him, the only ones in attendance were going to be Adam’s male friends and band mates and Cale.

Kris was appreciative of the fact that Cale was included as a guest for the bachelor party. It meant a lot to him.

Letting his head drop to the table, he sighed loudly. The night before, Katy stopped over unannounced and threw a complete curve ball their way.

Katy and Cale were separating. After almost ten years of marriage, they were calling it quits.

Thinking about the two of them divorcing made Kris sad. It didn’t matter that Katy insisted that separating did not necessarily mean a divorce was imminent. Kris knew better and he didn’t believe that, not for one second.

Kris thought that they were happy. They looked happy. They acted happy. Didn’t that mean that they were happy? If their marriage couldn’t last for the duration, what made Kris think that his and Adam’s marriage could last?

When he heard the screen door open and slam, he turned around to see Adam inspecting the door, crouched down on his knees. “You need to call someone and have them come out and fix this door,” he said, shaking his head and walking towards Kris. “Evidently, I didn’t do a very good job.”

Kris managed a half-smile.

He walked closer and then stopped. “You aren’t ready yet, something wrong?”

“Just thinking about Katy and Cale,” he replied, standing to his feet. “It’ll only take me a few minutes to get ready.” He walked past Adam, stopping when he felt Adam’s hand on his arm. “What?”

“You have to believe that they’re doing what’s best for them, no matter how difficult that may be,” Adam said quietly. “This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re gonna get divorced.”

“Oh, come on, Adam,” he huffed, turning around to look at him. “Now you sound like Katy. You know as well as I do that separating only leads to one thing.”

“Not always,” Adam whispered sternly.

“It did with your parents’ marriage.”

Adam lowered his gaze and frowned. “This isn’t about them, though. It’s about Katy and Cale.”

Kris sighed, rubbing his head. “If their marriage can’t last, who’s to say ours will?”

Adam stepped closer, pulling Kris into a hug. “I think we both know that what we have is pretty special.” He kissed Kris’s head, his lips lingering in his hair. “Are you worried?”

Kris shook his head slightly. “Not really, but it’s making me think.”

“Well, don’t,” Adam whispered in his ear. “We’re gonna be just fine.” Adam patted his bottom and winked. “Now, hurry up or we’re gonna be late. My friends are dying to meet the boy who captured my heart in only five hours.”

Kris stepped back and smiled. “I love you.”

Adam smiled back. “Not as much as I love you.”

“So, where are we headed after dinner?”

Adam walked into the kitchen and pulled a soda pop out of the refrigerator. “Knowing Lee,” he mumbled, turning around to face Kris. “Probably a gay bar.”

“A gay bar,” Kris questioned, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why would your friends want to go see a bunch of men take off their clothes?”

Adam sat down in a chair and cocked his head to the side, stopping himself before taking a drink. “My friends are pretty open to almost anything, even to hot sexy men.”

Kris produced a little pout on his face.

“I’m sure none of them will even come close to you, honey.” Putting the pop can down on the table, Adam folded his arms across his chest. “How about you give me a little strip show right now so I have something to compare them to?.”

“You wish, Lambert,” Kris huffed, turning around. “You wish.”

“You’re damn right, I wish!” he yelled.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam fidgeted on the couch. He glanced at his watch once, twice and then finally yelled, “Come on, honey! I’m gonna leave without you if you’re not down here in five minutes!”

“Hold your horses!” Kris screamed back.

“Let’s go!” He jumped up off the couch and grabbed his cell phone. Quickly, he dialed Sutan’s cell phone, figuring they’d go easier on him if he gave them an advance warning that they were running late. “Sutan…hey girl, listen, we’re running a little late.”

“What’d you mean by a little, girlfriend?”

“We’ll be there within the next half hour or so.”

“No problem…I’ll hold the fort down,” Sutan replied, laughing. “What’s the hold-up?”

Adam’s eyes widened at the sight before him. “Holy shit,” he mumbled, taking in the surprise of seeing his fiancé completely decked out in ‘go-go’ wear. “Whoa…what the hell have you done with my fiancé?”

Sutan laughed. “Okay, girl, hang up the phone and get your ass here.”

“Yeah,” Adam mumbled into the phone before throwing it on the table.

Kris titled his head, batted his eyelashes, did a complete 360 and then ran his hands along his chest. “Do you like it?”

Adam eyed him up and down and then back up again. Kris was wearing tight shorts, go-go boots and his bare chest was shining with glitter. “What’s there not to like?”

“Are you sure it’s not too much?” Kris asked, running his hands along his chest again. “I don’t want to give your friends the wrong impression.”

Adam laughed out loud at that one. “What kind of impression were you going for? If it was gay, wild, sexy and easy…I’d say you hit the target pretty damn good.”

“Easy,” Kris mumbled, frowning.

“Well…” Adam trailed, shrugging while he stared intently at Kris’s boots. “The fuck-me boots made me think of that word.”

“Should I change?”

Cupping his chin with his hand, Adam thought that one over for a good minute. What were his friends going to think of Kris? He’d repeatedly described Kris as the down-to-earth, boy-next-door type. At the present moment, what Kris was wearing didn’t exactly scream those words. Smiling, Adam shook his head. “Nah…it looks too damn good on you.”

Kris took a few steps towards Adam and pushed him back in the chair. “Good…now maybe your mind will be on other things when those hot sexy men are flaunting themselves in front of you.”

Adam grabbed Kris by the thighs and pulled him in tightly between his own thighs. “When did you get these?”

“While you were working,” Kris replied. “And I kept the bill for this whole get-up so you could repay me too.”

“Oh,” Adam said defiantly. “You did, huh?”

“Sure did,” Kris repeated, placing his hands on Adam’s head and tilting it up so he could look at him. “Are we okay here?”

“What did ya mean?”

Kris sighed, searching for the right words. “I just want to make sure that you’re not mad at me after bringing up the hyphenating of my last name.”

Adam managed a half-smile. He wasn’t real happy about it and Kris knew it. It was a slap in his face as far as he was concerned and he wasn’t going to hide his disappointment either. “I’m not mad anymore, Kris,” he said. “But I’m not gonna lie to you either. It hurt…really.”

“I know,” Kris said, cringing. “I’m sorry.”

“In less than two days, we’re going to be married,” he said, smiling. “We are going to be Allen-Lambert. Now doesn’t that sound good?”

“You’re right, honey.” Kris bent down and kissed Adam on the lips. “It does. And I’m not worried about work either. You were right. People aren’t going to assume that it’s you…especially kids.” Laughing, he smiled brightly. “They usually don’t care about these things. They are quite accepting of almost anything.”

Standing to his feet, Adam gave him a big hug before leading him toward the door. “They have an amazing teacher to look up to, if you ask me. We’d better get going or everyone is gonna give me shit for being late.” He said, opening the door for Kris. “Are you gonna be okay in those fuck-me boots? They don’t look very comfortable.”

“They’re not!” Kris exclaimed, hitting Adam on the arm. “And could you please stop calling them that? It’s making me uncomfortable.”

Looking down at the object in question, Adam licked his lips. “They may be uncomfortable, but they look damn good.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam and Kris walked into the restaurant hand in hand. Upon immediately entering, Kris stepped back and moaned. Taking in the beauty of his surroundings he was more than a little embarrassed by his current state of dress, he was mortified. “Crap,” he groaned.

“What’s wrong?”

Kris eyed the place carefully, searching through the poorly lit room. “I didn’t realize exactly what kind of restaurant we were going to.” Cringing, he winced at Adam. “Don’t you think I’m a little underdressed for this place?”

Adam gave a curt nod. “Probably.”

That wasn’t exactly what Kris hoping to hear. “Aren’t you embarrassed?”

Adam shook his head. “Embarrassed? I have the hottest damn guy in here, why would I be embarrassed?”

“Look at me!” Kris exclaimed softly. “I look kind of cheap.”

Adam laughed, winking at him. He lowered his head and whispered into Kris’s ear, “Stop worrying so much…you look fine…and very fuckable too, I might add.”

“Great,” Kris sighed, moving his head slightly so that he could look at Adam. “Maybe this outfit wasn’t such a good idea after all. I really only bought it for you to see.”

“Come on,” Adam fussed, pulling Kris along with him to the hostess. “Hi…there should be reservations for Allen.”

“Follow me.”

Adam took this time to remind Kris that Camilla wasn’t going to be among the guests. He’d already explained it to Kris on the way over, but evidently he felt it needed to be repeated.

“I understand, honey,” Kris said. “Her girlfriend is back in town after months. I wouldn’t expect her to be here with us when she can spend quality time with her woman,” Kris closed his eyes momentarily and cursed himself over and over again for wearing what he had. He was embarrassed and completely mortified when he noticed an elderly couple eyeing him up and down. What was he thinking?

When they finally reached the table, he immediately noticed the three men glance his way.

“Hey, guys.” Adam let go of Kris’s hand and waived his arms in the air. “I know, I know…blame it on him,” he said, pointing towards a red-faced Kris.

If Kris could have picked up and ran, or better yet, died on the spot, he would have. “Sorry,” he whispered, feeling the heat rise to his face, washing over him like a tidal wave. Everyone’s eyes traveled down the length of his body, settling in on his boots. Kris nervously laughed, letting his eyes fall to the object of all the attention. “Please don’t get the wrong impression. I don’t normally dress like this. It’s just that because of the bachelor party tonight I decided to go out on a limb.”

When he slowly brought his gaze back to the men at the table, Kris cringed. Their expressions were all the same…mouths open, eyes wide and smiles plastered on their faces.

“Oh God!” he moaned. “Maybe I should just go home and change real quick.” he looked at Adam. “You can stay here. It should only take me an hour or so.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” Adam took his hand and squeezed it tightly. “Trust me; these guys have seen it all. Your outfit…”  
Laughing Isaac interrupted him. “We may have seen it all, Adam, but we haven’t seen it with you.”

“All right, Isaac,” Adam scolded. “Knock it off. Kris, this is Isaac,” he said, pointing to him and then following suit with the rest of them. “Tommy and Monte.”

Kris smiled weakly and quickly took his seat in order to hide the embarrassment of everyone checking out his clothes. “Hi, it’s nice to finally put faces with names.” Kris looked over at Tommy, scrunching his face. “Now, you I recognize.”

“Figures,” Monte mumbled, frowning. “Everyone knows Tommy.”

“Ah…thanks, Monte,” Tommy said, hitting him in the shoulder.

Adam took his seat and leaned over to his fiancé. “What do you want to drink?”

 _Everything and anything. Would that be too much?_ “Ah…the strongest thing they’ve got would be good.”

Everyone busted out laughing, easing the tension somewhat.

“We don’t bite,” Monte said with a smile. “At least I don’t.” Shrugging, he leaned over the table. “So, Adam tells us that you’re a teacher.”

Kris smiled, looking back at Monte. “Yes, Monte, I’m a music teacher.”

“Are you going to keep your job?” Tommy asked.

“Of course.”

“What about when we’re touring?” Monte inquired.

Kris did his best to smile. “Well, I guess we’ll figure something out when that time comes.”

“So…you really didn’t know who Adam was when you met him?” Monte asked with a curious look in his eyes.

“Not a clue,” he replied quickly.

“You’re not a fan then, right?” Isaac asked.

Kris cringed slightly under everyone’s stare. “Um…not really. I mean, I like his music and everything. But if you’re asking me if I’ve ever been to one of the concerts before, the answer’s no.” Noticing them all looking at one another, he quickly added, “I do own one of his CD’s, I think. Not sure which one it is though.”

“Never heard Adam sing, then?”

He looked over at Monte and shrugged. “Nope.”

Tommy laughed. “You are missing so much, you have no idea.”

Kris smiled, “Yeah? I have to ask him to sing me something one of these days then.”

Adam cleared his throat and waved the waitress over, before looking back at his friends. “What’s with the twenty questions?”

“Come on, Adam,” Isaac said. “We just want to make sure he passes the test.”

“And what fucking test would that be, Isaac?” Adam glared at him before turning his attention to the waitress who was walking towards them. “Yes, could we please get two Johnny Walker Black and waters?”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

 “Okay, guys,” Monte said, leaning back in his seat. “We need to get going if we want to make it for the shower show.”

“Shower show?” Kris asked, smiling. He was well on his way to being tipsy and thoroughly enjoying herself. “They actually have a shower at the club?”

“You bet,” Tommy answered.

“Sounds interesting,” he replied, looking over at Adam. “You’re not gonna get naked with some stripper in this shower, are you?”

Isaac laughed loudly. “They don’t allow that…or do they?”

“No, they don’t,” Adam huffed. “And even if they did, I wouldn’t.”

 “No, you wouldn’t,” Monte said tersely.

Kris smiled and leaned towards Monte. “Don’t worry. He won’t have a chance. I won’t let him out of my sight during the whole time. Now shall we get going, gentlemen?”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

The bachelor party was winding down. It was well past the midnight hour and they all were less than sober. They weren't exactly wasted, but they weren’t exactly sober either.

Making his way from the restrooms and through the crowded room back on the dance floor, Kris was engulfed with flailing hands and way too many “oohs and aahs” for his liking. It was like an overcrowded farmhouse, full of pigs.

Disgusted, he swatted off a few of the hands that had actually made contact, finally making it to his destination. Stopping for only a brief second, he let out a deep breath and watched the stage out of the corner of his eye. Two men…dancing with poles…what was the big deal about that? Hell, he could dance with a pole too.

Seeing the men lift themselves up and swing themselves around, he dropped his head. Okay, maybe he couldn’t do that exactly, but he could hump the pole with the best of them…he was sure of that.

Just as Kris found a way through the crowd to where he had left Adam and their friends earlier, he noticed a tall blond man step in behind Adam, wrap his arms around his waist and begin to grind against him. He waited for Adam to move, to tell the man to leave him alone and that he was with someone, but to his shock, Adam did no such thing. In fact, Adam simply smiled, not opening his eyes and leaned back into the man, moving in sync with him, their bodies writhing together, faces dangerously close. It hadn't taken long before Adam's leather pants were undone and the man's hand was inside, jerking him off teasingly. As if an indication of what was to come if Adam wanted it. Once that song had ended, Adam kissed him forcefully, thanking him for the dance before walking off the floor, buttoning his pants back up. Adam immediately stopped walking when he noticed Kris standing at the other side of the dance floor, with his arms folded across his chest.

Kris didn’t move. He was completely still. As he contemplated his next move, he took a deep breath. Adam was waiting for him to do something or say something. The only problem was…he didn’t know what to say or what to do.

He was just as shocked as Adam seemed to be…maybe even more. He’d never been to a place like this in his entire life; he’d never seen anything even remotely close to what he’d just witnessed. It disturbed him.

But what disturbed him most was that he had actually enjoyed watching Adam with that man all over him. A wave of excitement washed over him knowing that probably everyone in the club wanted his man, but he was the one who had him.

He was the one who reaped all the benefits.

He was the one who got to go home with Adam.

He was the one who Adam pleasured.

Smiling, he took a few steps forward.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

By the time Kris was standing directly in front of Adam, that man had long since gone.

Taking his hands, Kris pulled Adam toward one of the tables and gently pushed him down in his seat. For a moment Adam wondered what to say or where to even start. Kris’d seen him with a man’s hand down his pants. What exactly do you say to your fiancé about that?

His eyes stayed focused on Kris’s, his mind focusing on how he was going to get out of what Kris’d seen.

“Are you having a good time?” Kris asked him specifically, while looking at all the other men.

“I was,” he replied carefully.

“Did I ruin it?”

“No, not at all.”

Isaac laughed.

Kris turned to Isaac, glaring at him with eyes as cold as ice. “What’s so funny about that, Isaac? You don’t believe him?”

“Nope,” Isaac replied, shrugging. “Not for a second.”

“Aren’t you the one who threw this party?” he asked, turning to Lee and pointing at him.

Lee nodded, his eyes just about bugging out of his head.

“Why?” Kris kept his stance between Adam’s legs, throwing his hands on his hips. “Did you think I would get a kick out of seeing my future husband with other men all over him?”

Lee shrugged.

Isaac balked, “Hey, chill out, Krissifer.”

Smiling, Kris shook his head in mock disgust at Isaac. “Krissifer …I like that,” he quietly said, winking. Turning back to face Adam, he leaned over and whispered, “And just for the record, dear, I did get a kick out of seeing that.” He noticed the look of confusion rapidly spread across Adam’s face. Leaning back, Kris spoke loudly, “I trust you, honey. I love you and you know what I have that that guy doesn’t have?”

When Adam simply shook his head, Kris smiled. “You.” Kris pointed to Adam’s chest. “I’ve got you. Everyone in here tonight probably wants you, but I’m the one who’s got you.”

Adam’s eyes never left his. “Are you serious? You’re not mad?”

“No,” Kris replied, smiling. “I just wanted you to think I was. I know this is all in fun. It’s our bachelor party.”

Adam pulled Kris in to him and gripped his neck, pulling his head down. “Do you know how much I love you?”

“I think so,” Kris replied, kissing his neck. “But why don’t you remind me.”

Adam’s response was given in a passionate, very affectionate kiss, that eventually left Kris’s lips and ended with Adam’s tongue dipping down Kris’s chest.

“Get a room!” Monte quipped.

When Adam’s head came back up, he smiled at Kris. “Whipped cream?” Kris shrugged at his comment. “You little devil…”

“Takes one to know one,” Kris smirked. Hearing the music again, he danced around in front of Adam, slowly running his hands along his thighs and up the sides, stopping at his waist. “Do you want me to do a strip-tease for you?”

“I’d love it,” Adam moaned, jerking his head towards the ogling eyes. “Just not in front of them.”

Kris smiled, running his tongue along his lips. “It wouldn’t be anything different than what they’ve been seeing all night.”

Adam’s gaze traveled back to Kris’s face, where it settled on his cheeks. Adam’s hand reached out, touching Kris’s warm cheeks that were a slight shade of pink. “Oh yeah, it would…it’d be you and there’s no way these guys are going to be getting an eyeful of you. That’s for my eyes only.”

“Oh, all right,” Kris whimpered, turning around and taking a seat on Adam’s lap. “So, do you think I scared those men off for the rest of the night?”

“Probably,” Adam whispered, snaking his arms around Kris’s waist. “I don’t care. I’d prefer to have you than them any day.” He nuzzled his head into Kris’s back. “You comin’ back to my house tonight?”

Kris shook his head.

“Didn’t think so, but it was worth a shot to ask,” Adam mumbled. “Could I convince you to change your mind?”

“Don’t think so,” Kris confirmed. “We’ve only got one more night until we can legally sleep in the same house together,” he whispered, laughing. “But you could try and convince me…might be kinda fun.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam and Kris drove back to Kris’s house, where Adam walked him to the door. “You sure I can’t come in for just a few minutes?”

“Adam!” he quipped, shaking his head. “Your few minutes will turn into hours and you know it.”

Adam shrugged, pulling Kris closer to him. “It was worth a shot.”

“Thank you, by the way.”

“For what?”

Kris smiled at him. “For tonight…it was perfect.”

Adam smiled back at him. “You’re welcome. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, sweetheart.” Adam kissed his cheek. “Don’t forget that.”

Kris pulled back and turned serious. “I’ve been thinking about something for the past couple days and I wanted to run it by you to see what you thought.”

“Shoot,” he answered back.

“Remember how Daniel mentioned that he’d be interested in buying this house?”

Adam nodded.

“I’m thinking that maybe it’d be a good idea if I took him up on his offer,” he replied quietly. When Adam didn’t make any attempt to say anything, Kris quickly added, “I thought maybe I could move into your house here in LA or maybe we could look for a house together. I know that with your career, you’re gonna be away a lot and with me continuing to work, I’ll need to stay here in the neighborhood and there really is no reason for us to have two houses…so close together.” He took a deep breath and kept rambling. “It’d be a waste of money and a bigger waste of time traveling back and forth to each house to check up on them and…”

“You’re not drunk, are you?”

Kris shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

“You’re not gonna forget what you said in the morning, are you?”

Kris shrugged again. “If I do, just remind…”

Adam interrupted him with a long, passionate kiss that ended only after he was good and ready. “I think that sounds perfect and if you’re sure you’re ready to do it…I say, go for it. You could move into my place for now and down the road we’ll talk about putting my place up for sale and buying something together…that we both pick out.”

“Really?” Kris smiled at the thought. “And I could have a say in decorating it too?”

“Absolutely.”

Kris looked at him out of the corner of his eyes. “Do you like hardwood flooring?”

“Love it,” he answered quietly.

“Antique style sofa?”

Adam looked up into the sky. “I adore antiques.”

“I think we’ll get along just fine,” Kris mumbled.

Adam brought his gaze down and looked directly into his eyes. “I know we will.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

It was a beautiful day…a perfect day for a wedding. The sun was shining. The birds were singing and the trees were gently blowing in the wind. For November, it was unbelievably warm…seventy-eight degrees. There wasn’t a single cloud in the magnificent blue sky. It was perfect.

For a wedding that was put together in only one month, it was coming together beautifully. The flowers arrived as scheduled, the tent, chairs and table were all set up and waiting, the DJ was ready to go, the patio was completely made over into a dance floor and all the guests had just about arrived.

“Oh, God!” Kris moaned, grabbing Cale’s water right out of his hands and taking a huge gulp down to quench his thirst. He handed it back when he was done and sighed. “Maybe inviting Brian’s parents wasn’t such a good idea.”

Cale put the water down on the nightstand in Kris’s old childhood bedroom before turning to his friend. “Would you stop beating yourself up already? It’s your wedding day.”

“I know,” he sighed, trying his best to remain calm. “But you know how Bill and Julianne are. They still think of me as their son-in-law.”

Kris could remember Bill’s exact words on the day Brian’s funeral took place like it was only yesterday. “We love you, Kris, like our own son and we always will. You’ll always be our son-in-law.”

“Kris,” Cale said quietly, walking up behind him and staring at his reflection in the mirror. “They love you and they’ve been telling you for quite a while that you needed to get on with your life.” He bent down and hugged his best friend. “They’re happy for you. Everyone’s happy for you.” Taking in the moment, he smiled. “And you look extremely happy, that’s all that really matters.”

“I am,” Kris replied, standing up. Walking over to the full-length mirror that hung on the back of the bedroom door, he ran his hands down his tux. “This tux was a good choice.”

He eyed himself carefully. It was simple, yet elegant and beautiful.

“Yes, it was,” Cale said, relaxing on the bed. “And Adam was a good choice too, man. A very good choice.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kris turned around and smiled. Cale was absolutely right about that. Adam was definitely a good choice. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now.” Walking over to the bed, he sat down. “Thank you for helping me through all this. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“You’re welcome. That’s what friends are for.”

Kris searched Cale’s face. Even though he was overwhelmed with the events that were about to take place, he still worried about what the future held for his friends. “What’s gonna happen with you and Katy?”

Cale’s gaze didn’t falter. “I don’t know. Hopefully, we’re gonna be able to work things out.”

“What happened?”

Cale swallowed hard. “Honestly?”

Kris nodded.

“I cheated on her.”

Kris’s eyes widened, hearing Cale’s confession. It rolled off his tongue like a marble on a wood floor…without any hesitation whatsoever.  
Cale sighed, looking away. “Not physically or anything, but mentally and emotionally…I cheated on her and this whole thing is my fault. So just say a prayer for us because I really want our marriage to work.”

Kris was stunned into silence.

“It’s a long story, Kris,” Cale said, standing to his feet and making his way to the picture window in the back of the bedroom. He fiddled with the blinds for a moment before allowing his shoulders to slump. “But in a nutshell, I started getting emotionally attached to a sister of one of her friends. She’s a stay-at-home mom and without really going into details…we became close and before I knew it, we were getting together almost every day and I was sharing things with her that I should’ve been sharing with Katy.”

“But why?” Kris asked, hesitantly. “You and Katy are so close.”

Cale shook his head, his eyes still glued to the scenery outside. “Not like we used to be. With her new acting roles and all the traveling she’s had to do…we just kind of drifted apart.”

Instantly, Kris’s thoughts turned to Adam. Adam had repeatedly explained to him that when the time came for him to go back into the recording studio, he would be gone for weeks at a time. He had also explained time and time again, that when and if the time came for him to be on tour, it could last the better part of a year. Was Adam trying to warn him? What would happen to them…the same thing that happened to Cale and Katy? He could hear Cale still talking but he didn’t catch a single word, too engrossed in his own worries.  
Was he out of his mind thinking that he’d be able to hold down a full-time job once Adam was busy with touring? When would they see each other?

Cale turned around. “Just because it happened to us, Kris, doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen to you and Adam.”

Kris looked up, startled. “You a mind reader now?”

“When it comes to you…yes.” Cale glanced over his shoulder for a quick second, taking a look out the window. “It looks like everything’s set and everyone’s here. We should probably get down there.”

The knock at the door caused them to both jump.

“See…they’re sending someone after us,” Cale moaned, laughing.

Kris walked over to the door. “Who is it?”

“Kris-bee…it’s me.”

Smiling, he opened the door. “Hey Tommy.”

“Wow,” he said, checking Kris out thoroughly. “You look handsome and much more conservative than the last time I saw you.”

Cale laughed, walking towards them. “Get in here before Adam sees him.” He pulled Tommy in and shut the door.

Tommy pulled out a small box from behind his back and handed it to Kris. “Adam wanted me to give this to you.”

Kris’s eyes widened. “Oh crap,” he moaned, taking the box from Tommy. “I completely forgot to get him something.”

Cale shrugged. “Oops…I forgot about that too.” He started searching the room with his eyes. ‘You got anything in here you could give him on short notice?”

Kris nervously laughed. “A squashed dried-out rose, that’s about it.”

“Well, that won’t work,” Tommy kidded. “He’d much prefer a boy toy without any clothes on.” He searched the room with his eyes, throwing the pillows off the bed one-by-one. “You got any of those lying around anywhere? I wouldn’t mind seeing it myself.”

Cale laughed. “I like you, Tommy.”

“Ah…thanks.”

“Knock it off, you two, I’m serious here,” Kris huffed, pacing the floors. “I have to give him something.”

“Well…” Tommy trailed, scratching his forehead and plopping down on the bed. “Aren’t you going to be giving him your virginity tonight? That should be good.”

“Evidently you didn’t hear about Cozumel, Tommy. Kris gave it up there.”

Kris ignored their comments. He was busy opening the box that Tommy had given him. “Oh my God!” he groaned. Slowly, he pulled out the pendant that was inside. He was virtually speechless. “It’s beautiful.”

“Wow! You aren’t kidding.”

Kris swung his head around, surprised to hear Cale so close. He never expected anything at all, let alone something so beautiful. “How’d I get so lucky?”

Tommy cleared his throat to signal his presence. “It’s getting too deep in here for me. As much as I love Adam, I’m not gonna sit here and listen while you rave about how wonderful he is.”

“Spoilsport,” Cale whined. “Sounds like someone might be jealous.”

“Who, me?” Tommy pointed to himself, scrunching up his face. “Never.”

“Tell Adam I said thank you,” Kris said, turning to look at him. “And that I love him and I can’t wait to be his husband.” He took a deep breath. “And tell him that I’ve never been happier and I can’t wait to start our life together and I’m so glad I met him and…”

Tommy threw his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay…I get the picture. I’ll tell him how damn wonderful he is too. Sound good?”

Kris nodded. “And that’s he’s handsome, sexy, gorgeous…”

Tommy plugged his ears and turned around. “You do realize he stinks when he sweats and that he farts just like the rest of us, right?”

Kris frowned. “He most certainly does not stink, Tommy Joe.”

“Does too.”

“Does not.”

“His farts stink,” Tommy heaved, shaking his head in disgust while plugging his nose with his fingers. “That’s for sure.”

“Tommy…you’d better tell him what I told you to,” Kris warned, watching Tommy walk to the door.

“Oh…I’ll tell him all right. Right after I tell him that you completely forgot to buy him a wedding gift because you were so preoccupied by his greatness.” Tommy laughed loudly, slamming the door shut behind him.

Kris gasped in horror. “You don’t think he’d actually tell him that, do you?”

“Beats me. I don’t know him from Adam.”

“Well, me neither, really.”

Laughing together, Kris proceeded to hug the life out of Cale, thanking him again for everything.

“Let’s go get you married.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

The minister smiled at each of them separately before closing the small wedding ceremony book he held in his hands. “Kris, son, you can proceed with your vows.”

Kris turned to Adam, trying hard not to appear nervous even though he was sweating buckets from his overactive nervous system. He reached down and grabbed Adam’s hands, holding on tightly for fear of the sweat making them slide apart. Before he said anything though, he took this time to really get a good look at Adam.

He appeared solid and stable. It was questionable though; years of performing on stage and in interviews probably gave him a slight advantage. He could probably appear one way, but deep down he could have been a bucket of nerves, just like Kris. It intrigued Kris. Everything about him intrigued Kris.

Quietly, he cleared his throat, making sure Adam was the only one who could hear his voice. “Adam…I love you more than I ever thought was possible to love another human being and more than I thought I was ever capable of doing. The day I met you, I knew I didn’t want to lose you.”

Swallowing hard, he had to look down briefly to catch his breath. The way that Adam looked in his black suit was breathtaking and the way he looked into Kris’s eyes was so intense that Kris’d probably end up crying by the time his vows were over. “I have never been happier than I am right now,” he whispered even softer. “For three years, I stopped living and meeting you changed that instantly. I love you.”

Adam smiled, mouthing a silent, “I love you too” back at him.

Speaking louder, he continued, “I promise that I will always remain faithful to you. And I promise you that I will always love you…now and forever…in sickness and in health…for richer, for poorer…until death do us part.” He finished with a tear falling down his cheek.

Adam reached up and gently wiped away his tear. “Thank you,” he whispered as his own tears fell.

“Adam…you can proceed with your vows now.”

He nodded at the minister before turning back to Kris. “When I first saw you, Kris,” he said quietly, making sure their private moment stayed private. “I knew you were the one for me. Don’t ask me how, but I knew. I loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you." He closed his eyes for a moment to try and take control of his emotions. “At a time when I had given up on love, you showed me how love hadn’t given up on me. And I thank the Universe every night for bringing us together.”

He looked down at their hands for a moment, before squeezing Kris’s tightly. “And I promise that I’m always going to be here for you, even when we can’t be together. I promise that I will always remain faithful to you. And that I’ll love you now and forever…in sickness and in health…for richer, for poorer…until death do us part.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam watched Kris from a distance as he smiled, kissed and chatted with the guests. He was beautiful. He was sincere. And he was his husband.

Husband…

A word he truly never thought he’d ever call someone in his life. But yet, here he was…and he had a husband.

“Adam…you okay?” Monte questioned, punching him in the arm.

“Yeah…I’m more than okay.” When Adam finally pulled his gaze from Kris, he looked at Monte and smiled. “You enjoying yourself?”

Monte nodded, searching for his family. “Yeah…I don’t know where the wife has disappeared to though.”

Adam laughed, shrugging. “She can’t be too far. This place is small. Kris insisted on keeping this affair small.”

Monte slammed his beer back. “I still can’t believe the press didn’t get wind of this thing. How’d you manage that anyway? Shit, sometimes I can’t even drive through the damn drive-thru at McDonalds without someone recognizing me.”

“That’s because you’re the Rock God,” Adam replied. Patting his friend on the back, he laughed. “And you shouldn’t be going to McDonalds anyway…I thought you were trying to steer clear of fast food after the twins were born.”

“Whatever,” he moaned, frowning. “Now you’re talking like Lisa.”

“Love you, Monte,” Adam said, pulling his friend into a hug. “More than you’ll ever know. I owe you a lot.”

“Ah fuck,” Monte moaned, stepping away and wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. “Don’t do that shit in public, someone might take a picture.”

Adam laughed, glancing back towards his husband. “I gotta go, buddy. Kris’s waving me over.”

Monte gave him a little push. “You’re whipped already.”

“Damn right,” he said, heading towards his husband. When he reached Kris, he instantly put his arm around him and pulled him in for a kiss. “I love you.”

Kris smiled at him, and then nodded towards the two people standing there with him. “Adam…I wanted you to meet Brian’s parents…Bill and Julianne, this is Adam Lambert.”

Adam’s arm left his shoulder and instantly went out to Bill. “Nice to meet you, Bill.”

Bill shook his hand and patted it with his other hand. “Nice to meet the young man that finally brought our Kris back to life.”

Julianne stepped closer to Adam and hugged him tightly. “You make sure you take good care of him.”

When the hug ended, Adam immediately put his arm back around his husband. “You can count on that.”

“Is this thing on?” Isaac asked into the microphone, tapping on it.

Adam leaned forward to Bill and Julianne. “You’ll have to excuse us…they’re about to sing our bridal dance.” He smiled at them both. “It was nice meeting you.”

“They are?” Kris questioned, being pulled to the center of the patio.

The dance floor cleared as Adam and Kris approached it. Once they were firmly planted in the center of the patio, Adam nodded towards the three men who all stood huddled together, with two microphones between them.

Tommy jerked his head, acknowledging the nod from the Adam. “Okay…I guess it is. Well, as you can see…Monte, Isaac and myself are going to be performing a song. Adam decided to bow out gracefully.”

“He did not,” Isaac said, laughing. “He asked us to do it as a favor and we knew better than to tell him no…right guys?”

Adam laughed, pulling Kris closer to his chest so that he could snake his arms around his waist. They were surrounded by the guests and the white lights on the makeshift dance floor. The white Christmas tree lights that Katy insisted on having…citing that they would look beautiful in the early evening darkness, added a touch of elegance to the dance floor.

“You’d think they were nervous or something,” Adam said in his ear. “Hell, there are only fifty people here - this should be a breeze for them.”  
Kris leaned his head back into Adam’s chest, enjoying the feeling of the arms surrounding him…protecting him…loving him. “Yeah? Then why don’t you get up there and sing?”

“Because they’re doing this song for our bridal dance. I can’t leave my hubby to dance all by himself now, can I?”

“I guess not,” Kris whispered back.

“I’ll sing it in your ear, sweetheart.”

“I’d like that,” he said, lifting his head to watch the guys.

“This song is dedicated to you, Kris,” Monte said with a smile while pointing directly at him. “From your husband.”

Tommy cleared his throat and leaned into the microphone. “Your _wonderful_ husband.”

Kris smiled back at Tommy, hearing the words. Kris felt Adam’s one arm leave his side. Adam took hold of his hand and twirled Kris around to face him. “C’mere,” he whispered, pulling Kris in close. “Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look?”

“A couple hundred times,” he replied. “You look quite handsome yourself.”

“Oh yeah,” Tommy said loudly in the microphone. “I just wanted to make mention of this to anyone out there who may or may not be familiar with this song. This is not an Adam Lambert song. This came to us as a special request.”

Hearing the music start, Kris let his head fall to Adam’s chest; their bodies starting to move with the beat.

“This is a Fred Astaire song,” Monte added. “Apparently, Kris is quite fond of this one.”

Kris’s head lifted slightly. Looking directly into Adam’s eyes, his smile widened. “You are wonderful.”

Adam smiled back as Kris let his head rest back against his chest. As if on cue, Adam’s voice chimed in perfectly with Monte’s.

_Some day, when I'm awfully low,_  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you  
And the way you look tonight. 

_You're lovely, with your smile so warm_  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
And the way you look tonight. 

The feelings Kris was experiencing as his husband sang into his ear were overpowering. He loved that song. It was one of his favorites. The words were beautiful and sung with just as much beauty. His eyes filled up with tears as he pulled his head up again.

“Your voice is beautiful,” he whispered.

“You’re beautiful,” Adam whispered back. “I love you…’til death do us part.”

Kris smiled back as they danced for the entire next verse of the song. Their eyes never left each other’s. Their hearts truly becoming one.

When the chorus started again, Adam pulled him in close to sing into his ear again.

_With each word your tenderness grows,_  
Tearing my fears apart  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,  
Touches my foolish heart. 

_Yes, you're lovely, never, ever change_  
Keep that breathless charm.  
Won't you please arrange it?  
'Cause I love you  
Just the way you look tonight. 

Adam kissed his cheek. “I mean that, Kris, it’s you and me…till the end.”

“I wouldn't want it any other way,” Kris whispered.

 

 

_*THE INTERVIEW*_

“So, there you have it,” Adam commented with a smile so big it’d be worthy of some type of award. “Our story in a nutshell.”

“And what a truly remarkable love story it is,” Ellen commented back. “Thank you so much you two for sharing that with us. I’m going to be honest here. When the producers told me that they were finally able to book you and your husband, I was quite skeptical about the whole thing.”

“Skeptical?” Adam questioned. “Why? I have been on your show a couple of times.”

“Because this studio has been bombarded with phone calls and emails ever since your wedding two months ago and word had it that you were pretty tight-lipped about your whole marriage, so I didn’t really think that you would open up and share as much as you have during this hour.”

“Oh,” Adam sighed. “Well…for the first month or so, I pretty much declined to comment when anyone questioned me about the wedding. I was respecting Kris’s privacy more than anything.” He looked over at his husband and lazily smiled. “I didn’t want people questioning his past and I knew that would be exactly what they’d do. He had a hard time getting past that and letting go, so I thought it’d be better left alone.”

Kris reached for Adam’s hand. “When I realized what he was doing, I quickly put a stop to it. Having people question my motives and/or my past is only going to be natural and I don’t have anything to hide. What we had and still have is honest-to-goodness love at first sight.”

Ellen shook her head and smiled brightly at the camera. “Sorry, girls and boys, but they look pretty happy to me…no, make that very happy.”  
Adam smiled, looking at Kris.

Kris squeezed his hand and smiled right back.

“So Adam…rehearsals for your tour start tomorrow, right? And from what I’ve heard, you’ll be doing this gig until March sometime.” She took a deep breath and turned her head around.

He looked back at Ellen. “You’ve heard correctly. We start rehearsals tomorrow. Opening night is January 20th,” he said, turning to the crowd. “So, try and make it if you can.” He laughed, pointing into the crowd. Turning back to Ellen, he smiled and looked over at Kris. “And who knows after that…maybe a baby or two or three…that’d be nice.”

Kris smiled brightly back at him. “It sure would be.”

“Kris…before we wrap this up, I wanted to ask you how your job was going.” Ellen relaxed in her chair again. “A lot of people were surprised to hear that you were still holding down your job and managing somehow to make this marriage work. How has it been?”

Kris sighed heavily. “Honestly…it hasn’t been too bad yet. Aside from the occasional times here and there, Adam’s been around most of the time. The school’s been great and I do love my job…so we’ll have to see how everything is going to pan out still. Once Adam starts touring, though, I may change my mind about it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand being away from him that long.”

“Notably understood,” Ellen replied. “I give you a lot of credit to still be working.”

“If I didn’t love my job so much,” Kris stated honestly. “Things might have turned out differently.”

Ellen leaned forward, extending her hand. “Thank you guys for taking the time to sit down with me and share all your secrets.”

Adam laughed, shaking her hand. “Oh…now come on, Ellen…you know we didn’t share them all…but you’re welcome and it was our pleasure.”

Kris shook her hand. “Thank you.”

Ellen smiled at them both before turning to the camera. “You can catch Adam on his world tour. You can catch Kris in the school where he works…which I won’t be saying where that is exactly.” She laughed, before turning serious again. Standing up, she hugged Adam tightly and gave him a short peck on the lips before turning to Kris and giving him a hug as well. “Love at first sight truly can happen, people...you’re looking at it. Thank you again and good luck to both of you.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Arriving at the airport, Kris yawned. He was dead tired. Tired of being away from Adam. Tired of always having to settle on just a couple phone calls a day to keep up on the daily events in his husband’s life. His job was pretty much tying him down to LA and as much as he loved his job, it was starting to get in the way of everything.

In particular, it was starting to get in the way of his marriage.

Adam never said anything, but Kris knew how Adam felt about it. He wanted Kris with him. He wanted Kris to be by his side. It wasn’t in the words he said, it was in the words he didn’t say.

During the entire first leg of the tour, Kris had only had the opportunity to make it to his show once. One show was all he was able to squeeze into his busy work schedule. One day and one show. He flew in on a _Red-Eye_ and flew out on the next _Red-Eye_. He was grateful that he’d at least gotten to see Adam perform on stage, but the emotional toll it was having on him was starting to show.

Adam’s schedule was crazy. It was insane and it was seriously cutting into any personal time that they might have had if they hadn’t agreed to try something so risky.

Adam hadn’t set foot back in LA since mid-January, when they flew out together as a couple, agreeing to be on _The Ellen Show_ so they could set the record straight.

The first leg of the tour ended early in March and the very next day Adam was on a flight to New York.

So, here Kris was…halfway through March, in an airport and desperate to at least catch a glimpse of the man he loved. He hadn’t seen Adam since mid-February and more than anything, he just wanted to be in the same room as his husband.

This was his very first trip to New York and as it was, it wasn’t going to be a long trip.

Four days to be exact.

That was all the time he could manage to get off from work.

Four measly days and he’d be saying goodbye again.

Adam assured him that after a few days in New York for some more studio work, he’d be on “vacation” for at least a few days while his band worked out their other gigs. So Kris knew that his husband would be returning to LA at the end of the week. Three days after him. Which was a good thing since Adam’s “honey-do” had really started to turn into quite the list. 

Kris let out a little laugh, thinking about what he had planned and his surprise for Adam when he arrived home at the end of the week…

Daniel and Cale were moving his stuff out of his house and into Adam’s house during this quick getaway. By the time he was back in LA, everything would be moved to Adam’s. Everything. Including his tree swing.

He’d worked out a purchase agreement for his house with Daniel. School would be over soon and Kris would be able to have the time he needed to be with his husband.

“Kris?”

Kris turned around, hearing his name. “Yes,” he answered. Standing to his feet, he smiled. “Hi, Lane.” They were introduced to each other at the wedding, but didn’t really have a chance to get to know each other.

Lane smiled back. “Nice to see you again.”

“It’s nice to see you again too.”

“Let’s go get the rest of your things,” Lane stated. “Adam wanted me to pick you up and take you to the house. He was working on laying some tracks when I left.”

This would be the first time Kris was going to see Adam’s home in New York. And if he had his way, it wouldn’t be the last.

“Sure,” Kris replied, following Lane to baggage claim. “Did he know about what time he was going to finish?”

“Didn’t ask to be honest,” Lane said with a shrug. “He’s really trying to wrap things up so he’s been working pretty much non-stop for the past twenty-four hours.”

“Oh wow,” Kris gasped. “Is he at least taking breaks to catch some sleep?”

“Knowing him,” Lane answered, as Kris reached down and grabbed his two suitcases along with his messenger bag. “Adam probably won’t allow it.”

Kris’s eyes widened at hearing that. Adam wouldn’t allow it? “Is he the law maker or something?”

Lane’ head shot to the side. “Are you serious?”

Kris nodded.

Lane laughed. “He’s not the law maker per se, but he pretty much runs the show and songwriters and technicians usually listen to him. When he is recording with his band though, that’s another story. Tommy and Isaac are pretty good at ganging up on him.” Kris laughed, walking alongside Lane. “Did you want me to carry something for you? I hardly have anything and your arms are full.”

“No, no…” Kris shook his head. “I’m fine. Do you think you could swing me by the studio for just a minute?” he asked, stopping to ask Lane. “I’d really love to just run in and say hi. I haven’t seen him in almost a month.”

“Sure. He’d love it.”

They walked to the car and spent the entire drive to the studio talking. They each asked questions, getting to know each other. And it gave Kris an opportunity to ask questions about touring. He was interested now that he knew he’d be able to join Adam on tour for at least some of the time.

Pulling into the parking lot, Lane parked the car and pointed to the side entrance door. “We can go in there with my badge,” she said, opening the car door.

Making their way through the hallways of the studio, Kris took in the massive amounts of stardom on the walls. Framed pictures lined the hallways, along with autographs and loads of memorabilia. From heavy metal acts to young country stars. A wide array of music and talent had graced these halls and for a moment, it gave him goosebumps.

Had Keith Urban graced these halls? Lady Antebellum? Just thinking about it made his heart pound. Those were his ultimate favorite acts of all time and just the thought alone of being somewhere where Keith Urban might have been made him giddy with excitement.

He turned to Lane who was nodding towards the man that was making his way down the hall. “Patrick?” she questioned.

Kris’s head swung around. Patrick? Wasn’t that Adam’s ex?

The man stopped and lifted his head. “Hi, Lane.” He looked over at Kris and held out his hand. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, Lane?”  
Kris could hear Lane moan and could see her stance slightly change. “Sure…Patrick, this is Kris Allen-Lambert…Kris, this is Patrick.”

“Hi,” they both said in unison.

The air grew extremely quiet and intense.

“Does Adam know you’re coming?” Patrick questioned Lane directly. “You know how he gets when he’s recording. When he saw me, he pretty much blew a gasket, telling me how I need to call and clear it with him first.”

Patrick? Kris was still in shock over the fact that Adam’s ex was standing just a few feet in front of him. Why? Why was Patrick only standing a few feet in front of him? What the hell was he doing in the studio? Adam repeatedly explained to him just how hush-hush this few days of recording was. It was imperative that it was kept quiet.

“We’re not staying,” Lane confirmed, grabbing Kris’s hand. “Kris just wanted a tour of the studio.”

“Well, I wasn’t staying either, Lane,” Patrick huffed. “I just came to drop off an invitation for my upcoming movie premiere and Adam just about had a heart attack on the spot.”

“No offense, Patrick,” she said. “But maybe it had something to do with the fact that it was you.”

Patrick produced a sarcastic smile. “Hmmph…” Standing tall, he smiled sweetly. “No offense taken, Lane. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Taking a few steps away, he yelled, “Hey!”

When both Lane and Kris stopped and turned around, Lane cocked her head to the side. “What?”

“Kris?”

Kris nervously nodded. “Yeah?”

“If it was the allure of the music that sucked you in, honey,” Patrick said, taking a minute to shake his head. “You’ll find out soon enough that you’ll never come first…”

Lane pulled at Kris’s arm. “Ignore him…come on.”

Ignore him? Kris followed closed behind Lane but he could hardly ignore what Adam’s ex had said. Even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t have. He couldn’t ignore the fact that Adam’s ex knew about him recording, nor could he ignore the comment that was made. It rattled him and sent him on high alert.

Lane nudged him with his elbow. “There he is,” she said, nodding towards the glass walls.

Through the equipment, people and arms flailing around, Kris spotted his husband huddled in a corner with headphones on. He looked tired, worn out and aggravated about something. Kris’d seen the look before and was more than vaguely familiar with it. He watched as Adam rubbed his eyes and forehead with his hand, yawning twice in a matter of only seconds.

“God…he looks exhausted,” Kris said.

“Do you want me to go in and get him?”

Kris’s head whipped around. “No, don’t bother him…as it is he looks pretty aggravated about something…I don’t want to make it worse.”  
Lane shrugged, turning to take a seat on the couch in the hallway.

Kris stood there and watched Adam for nearly fifteen minutes and during the entire time, not once did Adam even glance his way. He had shot up quickly after Kris’d first gotten there and hadn’t sat down since.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kris saw action erupt from the other side of the room. Turning his head, he quickly noticed who he presumed to be the songwriter jump up from his seat and forcefully remove his headphones, throwing them behind him on the couch.

Before Kris knew it, Monte and Tommy were following suit. It was at that exact time that Tommy noticed him standing there. Smiling, he waved and turned his head towards Adam.

“No…no…don’t say anything, Tommy,” Kris whispered under his breath. By the time his eyes danced across to the other side of the room, Adam was already looking back at him. He smiled and held up his finger to indicate he’d be just a minute.

Smiling, Kris waved back and nodded. Taking a few steps back, he sank down into the couch and sighed.

 “I’m gonna run across the street and grab some coffee…would you like some?” Lane asked.

“Would love some, thank you.” Kris reached for his bag and took out his wallet. “A large triple-triple please.”

“Put your money away…I’ve got it. I’ll be back in a little while, don’t wait up,” Lane kidded, throwing her head back and laughing.

Leaning back on the couch, Kris folded his arms across his chest and ran his hands along his arms to keep warm. The studio was ice cold. Sitting there, he closed his eyes and felt himself start to drift off in only a matter of seconds. That’s how tired he was.

The next thing he knew, he felt someone tapping him on the shoulder. Through half-closed eyes, he slowly brought his head up and noticed Lane holding out his coffee. “Sorry it took me so long. I ran across an old friend of mine crossing the street and before we knew it, we’d sat down and talked for nearly an hour.”

Kris’s eyes opened a little more. “An hour?” he groggily asked, clearing his throat. “You’ve been gone that long?”

She nodded. “Almost ninety minutes.”

“I must’ve fallen asleep,” he mumbled, sitting up straight and taking his coffee from Lane’s hand. “We can just head out. Adam’s too busy for any interruptions.”

“You sure?” Lane walked over to the glass wall. “Does he even know you’re here?”

“Yeah…he saw me over an hour ago,” Kris mumbled, standing to his feet. Walking over to Lane, he noticed Adam behind a microphone. His hand was on his headphones and his lips were moving. “I’ll see him tonight, it’s no big deal.”

“You sure? I don’t mind waiting.”

“Positive,” Kris replied, brining his arm up for Lane to take. “Let’s go, lady.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Making himself comfortable in Adam’s place, Kris took a few minutes to thoroughly look it all over. The house was really nothing more than a studio apartment, but according to Lane, the apartment was way more practical for someone like Adam who was constantly going here and there.

From room to room, Kris eyed everything carefully. The apartment was quite the opposite of what he was used to and so damn modern. So much so, that anytime he came across any type of switch or button on the wall, he pushed it with full expectations of seeing a complete dinner appear from a hiding spot behind one of the framed pictures on the wall. Where were the hardwood floors Adam had said he loved?  
Looking at the pictures, he scrunched up his nose in distaste. Was there any other color in Adam’s spectrum besides gray and black? And the ever-popular white?

Making his way towards the far corner of the room where the bed sat, Kris hit the light switch and jumped when the disco lights from the ball, located directly dead center above the bed, came on. Perfect lighting for a techno pad.

He supposed it was a bedroom; hard to say really. It had a bed, dresser and armoire, so it must have been a bedroom. It was merely separated from the rest of the living area with only a tri-paneled screen.

Strange…yet, so New York.

Quickly, he turned off the disco ball and walked back into the living area, searching for a phone since the battery on his cell phone was dead. Once he couldn’t find it there, he searched the tables. No luck there either. Hesitantly, he pulled out all the drawers in the kitchen before he finally came across a phone in the last one.

And what a surprise…it was black and gray.

Kris dialed Adam’s cell phone, totally expecting to get his voicemail, but instead, was greeting with a curt, “Lambert.”

“Hey, baby.”

“Hang on,” he mumbled quickly. He fumbled with the phone while talking to someone in the background. “Hi, babe…listen, sorry I missed you earlier when you were here, but we were right in the middle of something.”

Kris smiled, hearing Adam’s voice, knowing that Adam was only miles from where he was and not states away like he’d been used to. “You sound tired.”

Adam sighed heavily into the phone. “I’m exhausted. I just want to get the hell out of here.”

Kris sighed back. “When do you think you’ll be heading back to this space odyssey?”

“Huh?”

Kris laughed. “This place of yours is really outré.”

“Outré?”

“You know…modern.”

Adam laughed back. “Oh well…I didn’t do the decorating.”

“I’d hope not…it’s pretty cold.”

“Tell me about it.”

Hearing Adam laugh made him smile. “It’s eight o’clock already…when you gonna come home?”

“Shit,” Adam mumbled. “Wait a sec…it’s only five. You need to set your watch back. You’re in a different time zone, Kris.”

“Oh,” Kris fussed, looking down at his watch. “Yeah, you’re right. I forgot about that.”

“Hopefully I’ll be out of here in a couple hours.”

“Sounds good. Call me when you’re ready to leave and I’ll start fixing something for dinner.” Kris walked over to the fridge, opened it and shook his head. “Never mind…your fridge is empty.”

“Yeah, I know. I haven’t had time to make it to the grocery store yet.”

“No problem,” he replied. “I’ll run out there in a few minutes. Lane gave me a key.”

“Don’t,” Adam said sharply. “You don’t know where you are and I don’t want you taking a cab if you’re not familiar with the area.” He covered the phone with his hand. Kris could hear him raising his voice despite his attempt to block it out. “Listen, babe, I gotta go. When I get home, we’ll head out to get something to eat.”

“Okay…I love you.”

The phone went dead.

Kris held the phone away from ear and smirked. “Well, I love you too, babe,” he sarcastically said. He threw the phone on the counter, walked over to the couch and grabbed the remote in hopes of passing his time, but after four hours of channel surfing and no word from Adam, he gave up.

Taking the blanket off the back of the couch, he covered himself up and promptly fell asleep.

Welcome to New York.

Welcome to Adam’s world.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Feeling the blanket being dragged down his back, Kris’s head shot up.

“Hey…it’s me.”

Kris rubbed his eyes and sat up. “Hey, what time is it?”

“Four.”

“In the morning?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, laughing. “Sorry, I couldn’t get home sooner.”

“You’re just getting home?”

“Yeah.” He pulled Kris into a hug and sighed. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”

Kris mumbled into his chest, “I’ve missed you too. But you’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

“Unfortunately,” Adam whispered into his hair. “I’m not here for long.”

Kris pulled back. “You gotta go back already?”

“In a few hours.”

“Jesus, Adam, when do you sleep?”

“Now,” he said, standing to his feet.

“How can you guys function like this?”

“Everybody else left by eleven.”

Kris got up from the couch as well, taking the blanket and covering himself. “Why didn’t you leave then?”

Adam shrugged. “Couldn’t…I wanted to wrap some things up. If everything goes right, I might be able to head back to LA with you.”

Kris smiled, stepping into Adam’s open arms. “Really?”

“Yep,” Adam whispered in his ear. “Really. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“You go ahead,” Kris replied. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

Adam simply nodded, stumbling into and behind the tri-paneled screen. Sighing, Kris headed to the bathroom and took a fast shower, hoping it’d wake him up some and put him in a frisky mood. A mood for love. A mood for sex. That’s really what he wanted. What he really needed though was for his husband just to hold him.

He’d settle for just about any physical contact he could get at this point.

Taking only one step outside the bathroom door, he knew that sex was going to be out of the question. Adam was snoring loudly. Physical contact was going to be hard to come by.

But it didn’t stop him from trying. And after five failed attempts, he gave up and settled for his feet rubbing up against Adam’s.

At least it was something.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Arriving at the recording studio, Kris wondered why he was even bothering. If it hadn’t been for Adam insisting that he stop by before heading to the airport, he wouldn’t have even contemplated something so useless. He seriously doubted if Adam would even notice that he was there. And if he did, would he have the time to even do anything about it?

It wasn’t like they could have sex there. Hell, Adam was too exhausted to have sex anywhere during Kris’s four-day trip. Not once did they even remotely come close to making love.

Tapping on the window, Adam quickly turned around and smiled. “Hang on a sec,” he mouthed at Kris, doing the one-finger signal as well.  
Kris faked a smiled back, mumbling under his breath. He didn’t have a second in Adam’s time. He only had thirty minutes as it was. Adam’s seconds could be hours. Doing a quick glance around the studio, Kris frowned. Nobody else was anywhere to be seen. If it was so damn important for Adam to be there, why weren’t his band there as well?

Kris barely had a chance to sit down before Adam came barreling through the doors. “Hey, baby.” He walked up to Kris and pulled him up off the couch. “I’ve only got a few minutes here.”

 _Big surprise there…_ “Where’s everyone else?”

“They left last night.”

Kris stepped back. “Left New York?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, nodding. “Why?”

“Why can’t you leave with me today then?”

Adam took a step back as well, his facial expressions growing dim. “Because I still have a few days worth of shit to do here.”

“They don’t have to help?”

Adam walked over to the glass window, staring into it. “Their job is done. Plus it’s easier for the engineer if I help with the finishing touches.”

Kris pouted, throwing his arms up in the air. “Well, why can’t he send you the song and you listen to it back home? It’s not as if you don’t have a studio back in LA.”

“Kris,” Adam quietly retaliated, turning his attention back to his husband. “It’s the way things work in this business. It’s my job to do the finishing touches and just because I’m married now, I can’t shuck my responsibilities.”

Kris’s eyes narrowed, focusing on Adam’s face and comment he’d just heard leave Adam’s lips. “I’m not asking you to shuck your responsibilities, Adam. I’m just asking you not to forget about your other responsibilities.”

Adam’s eyes widened. “Ah, come on, Kris…you’re a big boy…”

Kris interjected quickly. “That doesn’t mean that I don’t need some attention too.”

“I know that,” Adam huffed. “I’ll be back in LA in a couple of days.”

“For what?” Kris asked, folding his arms in front of his chest. “Three/four weeks and then you’re off again for God knows how long and God only knows when we’ll see each other then.”

Adam’s hands flew to his hips. “First of all, at this point, I’ll probably be in LA for longer than just a couple of weeks. There’s a lot of shit to work out with my record label before I even start discussing the second leg of the tour. I need to finish these songs first.” He relaxed his stance and smiled. “And secondly, at least I got them convinced that I need my own tour bus since I am now married and need some privacy.”

Adam was not helping here, not at all. “Oh…so am I supposed to be grateful for that? If I’m only going to see you for a few times during the tour anyway, it won’t make a damn bit of difference if you have a tour bus of your own or not!”

Adam took a few steps towards him. “Whoa…wait a minute here. You knew damn well what my schedule was going to be like.”  
Kris knew what Adam was saying was true, but he didn’t realize to what extent it was going to be like.

“Honey…things will calm down eventually, I promise.”

“When?” Kris asked, taking a step backwards to lengthen the distance. “When we’re in our fifties? Sixties?”

“No,” Adam said, laughing.

“This isn’t funny, Adam!” Frantically, Kris began pacing the hallway floor.

“I know it’s not funny, but honey…” Adam trailed, trying to smooth things over. “You’re making a bigger deal out of this than needs to be. These last four days were hectic…you can’t judge everything based on this. It isn’t normally like this.”

“I am, huh?” Kris said, stopping for only a moment. “I was here for four days and out of those four days…how many _minutes_ did we actually even spend together? Or better yet, how many times did we actually have any physical contact of any sort?”

Adam dropped to the couch and sighed. “Listen…”

“How many times, Adam? Answer the question.”

Adam’s head slowly lifted. “I thought you said you didn’t like to fight.”

“You’re changing the subject,” Kris heaved.

Adam’s eyes made contact with his. “None…but like I said earlier, this isn’t the norm, baby…it really isn’t.”

Kris bit his bottom lip. He knew what he wanted to say, he just didn’t know if it was something he should say. Against his better judgment, he said it anyway. “I don’t like being second in your life.”

Adam’s head lurched forward. “Who said anything about you being second? You are definitely not second.”

“Patrick.”

Adam’s head flew back in confusion. “Patrick?”

“Yeah, Patrick told me I’d find out soon enough that music always comes first.”

“When the hell did you talk to my ex?”

Kris shook his head in astonishment. “The day I got here, Adam. He was in this very same hallway with me. You should’ve realized that when you saw me standing out here only seconds after he’d left you. Why was he here anyway? I thought this was supposed to be hush-hush.”

Adam ran a hand through his hair. “It is…A friend back home told him where he could find me.”

Kris peered into Adam’s eyes, unwilling to let it go. “Is he trying to get back with you?”

Adam’s head jerked up. “Who? Patrick?”

“Who else?”

“Fuck, no,” Adam said, reaching up and grabbing Kris’s arm. “He was only here to invite everyone to his movie premier.”

“So I heard,” Kris mumbled.

“What else did he fill you in on?”

“Isn’t that enough?” Kris asked, freeing his arm of Adam’s hold. “Why would he invite his ex-boyfriend and his band to his movie premiere anyway?”

Adam’s eyes didn’t waver as he dropped his arm down. “Because he’s known these guys for a long time, and he is close to Monte.”

Adam’s head swung around when he heard the engineer knock on the glass window that separated them. “I gotta get back in there.”

“Yeah,” Kris mumbled, grabbing his bag from the couch. “You wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.”

Adam stood up and grabbed Kris, pulling him into a hug. “Things are gonna slow down, sweetheart.”

Reaching up, Kris quickly placed a kiss on Adam’s cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hey,” Adam said, pulling him back again. “I don’t want you to leave mad.”

“I’m not mad, Adam.”

“Then what are you?”

Kris looked up at him and sighed. “Disappointed.”

“That’s worse.”

“You’d better go.”

Adam hugged him tightly. “I’ll make this up to you.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

With Adam arriving home in just minutes, Kris sat down to try and relax. He’d been pretty brief when talking to him over the past few days and it didn’t go unnoticed. He was hurt by Adam’s lack of attention when he was in New York, but knew that he really didn’t have a right to be. After all, Adam was busy and Kris knew that before going out there. But at the same time, he was still hurt.

When Adam had called him that morning to tell him what time he’d be in, Kris simply told him that he’d meet Adam at his place. He didn’t go into any details. Adam still had no idea that all Kris’s things were now nestled snuggly into his LA home, his swing included. Nor did he have any idea that that Kris’d outright quit his job.

Quitting his job wasn’t what he had planned. When the school called and asked him if he was able to accompany some of the kids to the summer camp, he had no other choice but to quit. Adam needed to be his number one priority now. His marriage came first.

Taking a deep breath, he jumped up from the couch when he noticed the time. If everything went smoothly at the airport, Adam’d be arriving home in less than five minutes. Grabbing a wooden spoon, he quickly went over to the stove and turned on the back burner. Inside the 2-quart pot was the home-made recipe for his mother’s spaghetti sauce. Inside the 4-quart pot were a whole lot of home-made spaghetti noodles. Hours and hours worth of home-made noodles.

Taking another deep breath, Kris looked down at his feet; his famous fuck-me boots tapping to the sound of the music that was playing in the background. The Beatles…another favorite group of his. Smiling, he had to give himself credit for being so brave, running around the house in only a full length apron took a lot of courage on his part.

He was quite a sight to behold, standing in front of the stove in only his boots and an apron; his backside completely exposed.

When Kris heard the garage door open, his heartbeat sped up. If everything went as planned, they’d be making love on the kitchen floor in approximately two minutes flat.

“ _And when I touch you I feel happy, inside...It´s such a feeling that my love, I can't hide_ ” he sung quietly; his body swaying back and forth to the music.

“Hey, honey…I’m home!” Adam yelled, walking through the door connecting to the garage, which was an only yard or two away from the kitchen. “Lane…put that bag down, woman! I’ve got it.”

Lane? Lane?! Kris dropped the wooden spoon on the ground. “Lane?” Bending down, he reached for the spoon and stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Adam clear his throat.

“Please tell me Lane is still in the garage,” Kris whispered above the music.

All he heard was a laugh, followed by a loud groan.

“Adam?” Slowly, Kris stood up and closed his eyes, afraid to turn around. “That’s you, right?”

“Lane!” Adam yelled.

Hearing Adam’s voice, Kris turned around in a flash.

“Stay put,” Adam said quietly, walking out of the kitchen.

“Oh my God!” Kris dropped his head back and took a deep breath. So much for his plan. Resting the spoon on the stove, he turned off the burners and sighed. Two minutes had past and they weren’t on the floor yet. He shook his head and leaned against the counter, wondering what he should or shouldn’t do. Adam said to stay put, but what if Lane made her way into the kitchen?

Deciding to follow Adam’s orders, Kris stayed put and didn’t move a muscle. If Lane did find her way into the kitchen, at least she wouldn’t get an eyeful from the front. The apron covered him to his thighs. Oh, Lane’d know he was naked all right, but at least she wouldn’t actually be seeing him naked.

There was a difference, right?

Kris waited for what seemed like an eternity, before he heard Adam yell “thanks and I’ll catch you later,” to Lane. When the door leading into the house finally slammed shut, Kris let out the breath he’d been holding in.

_“And when I touch you inside I feel happy...It´s such a feeling that my love, I can't hide”_

Kris laughed, hearing Adam make up his own words to the song as he came down the hall and into the kitchen.

“Damn,” Adam whispered, stopping in his tracks and eyeing Kris up one side and down. “Turn around again,” he demanded.

Kris moaned when he heard Adam’s demand. When Adam took control like that, it turned Kris on in a way he couldn’t describe. Doing as he was told, he heard Kris coming closer and closed his eyes.

“Fuck!” Adam moaned, allowing his hands to slide up Kris’s thighs and rest on his waist. He leaned over to whisper, “I think Lane knew what was up.”

“Why?” Kris whispered back, allowing his head to fall against Adam’s chest.

“Because I don’t think I was real smooth about it. I just kinda told her to get out.”

“Oops,” Kris answered.

“I also think that the bulge in my pants gave it away too.”

The sound of Adam’s voice sent shivers up Kris’s spine. “Oh…sorry,” Kris mumbled incoherently.

“You are not,” Adam replied, breaking away to kiss his neck. “And neither am I. If this is what I’m gonna come home to every time I’m away…” Adam trailed, moving his hands to Kris’s exposed bottom. “I’m not gonna want to stay home.”

Kris moaned, feeling Adam’s hands slide over the smoothness of his bottom. His hands felt good. His voice sounded even better.

“You even wore your fuck-me boots.” Reaching around, Adam crouched down and cupped Kris’s bottom, placing kisses in random spots. “Is that what you want, baby?” he asked, sliding his hand between Kris’s legs. “For me to fuck you?”

“Yeah,” Kris moaned, slightly opening his legs to allow Adam’s hand to finish what was started.

“Turn around,” Adam demanded.

When Kris did, his eyes immediately fixed on Adam’s. “God, I’ve missed you…missed this…missed everything.”

Adam didn’t have to say a word. Kris could tell by the look in his eyes just how bad Adam missed him too. It was clearly written in them for Kris to see. Desire. Want. Love. It was all there, buried in the depth of his blue pools.

Watching Adam made Kris want him even more. He didn’t want to work through the tangled web of foreplay. He just wanted his husband. “Adam?”

“Hmmm?” he responded, slightly cocking his head.

Without any further fuss, Kris sat down on the floor and just stared at Adam.

“Forget the foreplay?” Adam asked, crouching down to join Kris.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “How’d you know?”

“I can read your actions pretty good,” Adam mumbled, lying Kris down. Reaching down, he fiddled with his jeans. “We can work the foreplay angle tonight.”

Kris smiled at him.

“You want to take this into the bedroom?”

“No.”

“No?” Adam asked in a surprised tone. “The couch?”

“Nope.”

Adam shook his head. “Um…the kitchen table?”

Kris’s face lit up. “Hadn’t thought about that one.”

Adam leaned over him and placed his lips on Kris’s. “Just what did you have in mind?”

Kris patted the floor with his hand.

“Right here? On the kitchen floor?”

“Yep,” he answered.

“How about we start here on the floor?” Adam asked, kissing his neck. “And work our way to the kitchen table?”

“Hmmm…”

“Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“Hmmm…Mmmm….”

Adam pulled away and stared into Kris’s eyes. “I’ve missed you, honey and I’m sorry that I couldn’t catch a flight home with you earlier this week.”

As much as Kris appreciated Adam’s kind words, he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about anything. Not a single damn thing. What he wanted was to feel his husband on him, touching him and inside him.

Adam’s lips turned up in a slight smile. “Do you want me to shut up now?”

Kris nodded, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of Adam’s hand working his way up to his cock.

“Damn,” Adam whispered, leaning over him. “You’re so damn hard.”

Hearing the words, Kris moaned. He knew he was hard…He’d been feeling himself get hard as the minutes ticked by…and it all started with the garage door opening.

“What’d you make for dinner?”

Kris’s eyes flew open. “I thought you were gonna shut up?”

“I just don’t want to spoil my appetite,” Adam replied, making his way down between his legs. “Surely, you can understand that.”

Feeling Adam’s tongue on him, Kris groaned.

“I love the outfit…did I mention that yet?”

“God…” Kris moaned, wiggling back and forth. “Just eat your appetizer and shut up.”

Adam laughed, extending his neck so that he could see Kris’s face more clearly. “When did you get so bossy?”

Kris reached out and grabbed a fistful of hair. Pulling it back, he eyed Adam carefully. “You’re driving me crazy.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“Argh!” Kris screeched, palming the back of Adam’s head and shoving it between his legs. The minute Adam took him to his mouth, Kris arched his back and pushed himself further inside Adam’s mouth. “You’re not allowed to be excused until you’ve eaten your whole meal.”

When Adam laughed, the vibrations from his head and lips jerking pushed Kris to the point where he was about to lose all control. Instantly, his legs bore down against Adam’s shoulders and his head thrashed from side to side.

“Oh God….” he moaned over and over again until he came crashing back down to earth.

“Well, that was the quickest damn meal I’ve ever eaten.”

Lifting his head slightly off the floor, Kris’s eyes narrowed. “It's been a long time since you've done that and you are far from being done, Mr. Lambert.”

Adam smiled before disappearing between Kris’s legs again.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

“Wow, if it’s possible,” Adam moaned, slurping up the last of his spaghetti through his lips. “Your pasta’s even better than your mom’s and your mom’s pasta was pretty damn good…the best I’ve ever had.”

Kris raised his head slightly and smiled. He was lying down on his stomach at the foot of the bed while Adam sat up against the headboard with a pillow resting on his lap, acting as his table. “Thanks, babe.”

He smiled at Kris, removing the pillow and plate from his lap. “C’mere.”

“I’m not done yet,” Kris whined, digging his fork back into his meal. “Just a second.”

Adam frowned, cocking his head to the side and taking in the sight of his beautiful husband devouring his food. And what a sight he was to behold. He had spaghetti sauce oozing out of the corners of his mouth, and noodles dangling from his mouth while his lips slowly were sucking them in.

Taking a deep breath, he watched as Kris worked the noodles. Adam could’ve sworn Kris was taking his time sucking them in, accentuating the ache he suddenly felt in his groin.

When Kris’s eyes slightly shifted towards his, Adam knew instantly what Kris had on his mind.

“I wonder how your dick would taste with some spaghetti sauce and noodles slathered on it?”

Adam held back his laughter and just smiled. Yep, he guessed it right. Grabbing the waistband of his boxer briefs, he pulled them out from his stomach and looked down briefly. “Do you want to find out?”

“Do you think I would’ve asked if I didn’t?” Kris questioned, inching his way towards Adam. “Have you ever had spaghetti noodles wrapped around your cock?”

“Nope, don’t think I’ve ever tried that one before,” Adam replied in a lazy drawl.

“What have you tried?” Kris’s head was now in the direct line of fire, so to speak. Taking his hands, Kris ordered Adam to lift up a bit so that he could pull down the waistband of the boxer briefs effortlessly. As soon as they were down, Kris looked back at Adam. “Well?”

“Hmm…” Adam trailed, looking towards the ceiling. “Whipped cream, honey, chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, peanut butter…”

“Peanut butter?” Kris asked while placing the remainder of his dinner along the entire length of Adam’s now rigid shaft. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Adam moaned, shifting slightly. “I wouldn’t recommend it though…it tends to stick.”

A slight laugh escaped from Kris’s lips. “I guess so.” Taking a noodle, he strategically wrapped it around Adam’s dick and smiled. Admiring his work, Kris proceeded to wrap another three noodles tightly around Adam. “I think we need to bring food into the picture more often…I need to go shopping.”

“As long as it’s with me, baby,” Adam groaned, watching Kris carefully manipulate everything until he appeared to be satisfied. “That’s quite a piece of art there.”

“I’d say,” Kris whispered, licking his lips. “I hate to almost ruin it.”

“I’d hate for you _not_ to ruin it.”

“I know you would.” Taking his hand, Kris slowly placed Adam’s dick at the tip of his mouth and then looked at him. “I love you.”

Unable to reply, Adam sat back and watched Kris destroy his piece of art. It wasn’t long before his head fell back against the headboard, pleasure taking over every nerve in his body. The moans coming from Kris alone were almost enough to put an end to the fun he was having.

When Adam felt Kris’s tongue run along his sac, his head shot up while he grabbed a fistful of hair. “Put it in your mouth,” he demanded.

“But I wanted…”

“Put it in your mouth now.”

Slowly, Kris lifted his head. Placing the tip of Adam in his mouth, Adam pushed Kris’s head down and held it there. He sighed heavily; the sight of seeing his shaft rammed deep inside Kris’s throat stirred feelings in him that he couldn’t even describe.

With all the control in the world, he slowly pulled Kris up, only to push him back down again, careful not to push too far. This wasn’t about force; it was about pleasure and control.

He kept this up until the exact moment when he knew if he didn’t stop, he wouldn’t be able to. Lifting Kris’s head up and off him, Kris protested loudly. “Please…I want…”

“Get on,” Adam demanded, scooting his way down the bed some so that he was lying flat on his back.

Kris smiled, slowly lifting himself up and over Adam’s legs. Adam reached over the night stand, grabbing a condom and the tube of lube. Kris took them from his husband and prepared Adam’s cock, sheathing him with the condom and applying a generous coating of lube. Taking his time, he finally lowered himself on Adam at an agonizingly slow speed until Adam was completely surrounded by his warmth.

“Oh God,” Kris moaned, dropping his chest to Adam’s. “I love it when you take control.”

“I know you do, honey.”

“It turns me on.”

“I know it does, honey.” Bending his knees in order to apply his weight to his feet, Adam grabbed Kris’s waist and held him still while he thrust into Kris repeatedly. “It turns me on too.”

Once Adam was to the point of no return again, he dropped his weight and let Kris work at his own speed.

Which was way too damn slow for him.

“You’re killing me,” he moaned.

“I know, honey,” Kris whispered into his ear before thrusting his tongue deep inside it. “That’s why I do it.”

When Adam felt Kris’s slightly change positions, the intensity he felt increased drastically. He wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. Opening his eyes, he noticed that Kris’s were closed, his moans becoming increasingly louder.

“Do you need my help?” Adam asked, slowly sliding his hand down between their bodies.

“No,” Kris barely squeaked back.

The way he was moving and rubbing his body against Adam was obviously the only help he needed because within thirty seconds of Adam’s question, he arched his back and ground into Adam, wildly thrashing his head back and forth.

Seeing Kris sent Adam towards the same height and within a minute, they were both sprawled out, dripping with perspiration and spent.

“Whoa,” Kris moaned, disengaging himself from Adam. Dropping to the bed, he curled up on his side next to Adam. “Thanks for the ride.”

“My pleasure,” Adam moaned back, spooning up beside Kris. “Thank you.”

Spooned together, they laid in silence for a few minutes.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do when I’m on tour again and you’re not with me,” Adam whispered into Kris’s ear. “It’s gonna be complete torture.”

“Hmmm…”

He wrapped his arms around Kris tightly. “I love you.”

“Hmmm…” Kris mumbled. “Aren’t you supposed to roll over and go to sleep now?”

“Can’t,” he admitted.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Did you go to Patrick’s movie premiere?”

Adam lifted his head slightly. “No, absolutely not. I wouldn’t go to something like that without you.”

“Oh…okay,” Kris mumbled, pushing his backside into Adam further. “Just checking.”

“I wouldn’t do that, honey.”

“Okay.”

Slowly, Adam scooted back and reached around to roll Kris over some. “Do you know how much I love you?”

Kris smiled at him. “Yeah, I do.”

“I don’t think you do.” Adam shook his head, peering deeply into Kris’s brown eyes. “I know that what you had with Brian was pretty deep and the love you two shared was pretty intense but I’ve never experienced that kinda love until now.” His hand rubbed Kris’s cheek, his eyes never moving from his. “I loved Patrick. Not towards the end of our relationship, but I loved him. But the love I feel for you is something I never even knew existed. I cannot imagine life without you…I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Then don’t…because I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m being serious, Kris,” Adam said, placing a kiss on his forehead. “And it’s not just because we just had some great sex either so wipe that male chauvinistic thought from your head.”

Kris smiled at Adam, letting him know exactly that that was his thought.

“See,” Adam shot. “I even know what you’re thinking most of the time too. But if we never had sex again, I’d still feel the same way that I do right now. I love you so much that it scares me.” Smiling, he wiped away the tear that trickled down from Kris’s eye. “The best damn decision I ever made in my entire life was agreeing to go to Cozumel, because if I hadn’t…I would never have met you.”

Kris swallowed hard. “I feel the same way, Adam. I really do.” Reaching up, he ran his hand along Adam’s face. “And as far as what Brian and I had, it pales in comparison to what we have.” He took a deep breath and smiled. “You…Adam Lambert…are my soul mate and the thing that really rattles my cage is the fact that I constantly think about what my life would’ve been like had Brian not died. If he hadn’t died…I never would’ve met you.”

Kris’s tears started flowing down his cheeks.

“And I feel horrible because I think about that, because I’m not happy that he died, I’m really not, but at the same time…I can’t help but think about how if he was still alive…I would never have known that this type of love existed.”

“I understand, sweetie,” Adam replied, kissing Kris’s cheeks and tasting his tears. “It’s Kismet, honey…it really is.”

“I know,” Kris whispered, pulling Adam’s lips to meet his. “I love you.”

“Baby,” Adam whispered, pulling back to look into Kris’s eyes. “I can’t wait to grow old with you. And I don’t ever want you thinking for one second that you’re second in my life. You are and always will be my first priority…Music doesn’t even come close.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

“Wake up, sleepy head!” Adam sat down on the bed and instantly started bouncing around to rouse his husband from his deep sleep.

“What?” Kris said, pulling the covers over his head. “It’s not time to wake up yet.”

He cleared his throat. “Honey…it’s almost noon.”

“What,” Kris sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. “Why the hell did you let me sleep so long?”

Adam shrugged. “I wore you out last night so I thought I’d let you sleep it off.”

“Very funny.”

Adam leaned in and kissed him. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

Kris moaned, lapping his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I’m tired.”

“Come on,” Adam urged, pushing on the bed. “We have a busy day ahead of us.”

“Busy?” Kris asked, moaning even louder. “Why?”

“We need to go grocery shopping and baby furniture shopping.”

Kris’s head swung around, his eyes gaping wide. “Baby furniture? What in hell for? You trying to tell me something you should’ve told me _before_ we got married?”

Adam laughed, grabbing Kris’s hand and pulling him up and off the bed. “I had this dream last night…about a baby…and somehow I knew he was ours. I woke up and was so disappointed it was just a dream.”

Kris stopped walking towards the bathroom when he heard that. Turning around, he cocked his head to the side. “We can make that dream come true.”

“We can?” Adam asked, falling back to the bed and lying back. “Then we need to talk about this. I want babies…and we’re not getting any younger here.”

Kris walked up to Adam and stood between his legs that were dangling off the bed. “You want babies that bad, huh?” Kris waited until Adam nodded his head and then jumped on top of him. “Cool…then let’s have babies.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really…” Kris said, covering his hand with his mouth before he leaned down and kissed Adam’s chin. “I’m pretty sure my breath would knock you out.”

“I don’t care,” Adam said, pulling Kris’s hand off his mouth. “And by the way, when did you move some of your stuff over here? This morning, I noticed that my closet was considerably less organized then when I left for New York. I also noticed that there are plaid shirts in the closet now and I also took note of the antique sofa downstairs.” Smiling, he wiggled his eyebrows. “Is there something you forgot to tell me?”

Kris smiled back at his wonderful husband. Adam looked pretty damn cute lying there on the bed; his hair sprawled out on the sides of his head and the stubble that was taking over his face. “You’re hot…you know that?”

Adam winked. “So I’ve been told. Now stop avoiding my question and ‘fess up, boy. Did you or did you not move in with me?”

“Maybe,” Kris said, shrugging his shoulders.

“You little shit,” Adam moaned, sitting up and grabbing Kris by the waist. Pulling him down to the bed, Adam rolled over to his side. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was gonna tell you when I was in New York but I hardly even saw you. You’re not mad, are you?”

“Mad?” Adam questioned, giving Kris a lop-sided grin. “Mad that my husband finally decided that he wanted to live with me?” He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think so.”

“Good.” Kris looked up at him and bit his bottom lip. “Because I think there’s something else that I should probably fill you in on too.”

“Uh oh.” Adam’s finger ran along Kris’s lips. “You’re biting your lip…this can’t be good.”

Kris scrunched up his face and closed his eyes tightly. “I quit my job.”

“What?”

Kris opened his eyes and immediately noticed the concern on Adam’s face. “I quit my job and before you say anything…don’t worry, I have a little money set aside for me to live on for a year and once the sale of the house goes through with Daniel…I’ll have another $100,000 or so.” He dropped his head to Adam’s side, burying it inside the mattress.

Adam’s head lurched forward. “You sold your house to Daniel for $100,000?”

“Well…not exactly,” Kris admitted through a tight-lipped grin. “More like $92,000.” He cringed, pushing his head further into the mattress.

“$92,000?” Adam repeated loudly.

“Yeah,” Kris whispered quietly, lifting his head to look at Adam. “I know the house was worth a little more. When I refinanced last year it was appraised for $165,000 but I didn’t feel right charging him that because he’s my brother and everything so we settled on $92,000.”

Adam’s eyes narrowed.

“So between my savings of $18,000 and the house, I’ll have enough to live on for at least a couple years without having to work.”

Adam sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes. “You can live on a little over $100,000 for a couple years?”

“More like five at least.”

Removing his hands, Adam looked at Kris. After Kris nodded, he blew out a breath. “Hot damn, boy…I should’ve found you sooner…I didn’t know men like you existed.”

Kris sat up slightly and punched Adam in the gut.

“Hey!”

“So you’re not mad?”

Adam laughed, shaking his head. “No, I’m not mad…why would I be mad? Daniel should be the one who’s mad, not me.”

Kris sat up completely and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Why would Daniel be mad?”

Adam jumped up off the bed, laughing loudly along the way. “Because you’re married to someone who can more than afford to support you.”

“I don’t want you to support me, Adam. You knew that going into this marriage too. The only reason why I quit my job was because they needed me to be on the summer camp with kids, and that way I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you when you’re away from home.” Dropping his head to his knees, he looked at Adam carefully. “I only did this because I can’t stomach the thought of you going away on tour and me not being able to see you.”

“Honey,” Adam said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “It’s not like I won’t be able to come home from time to time.”

“That isn’t enough for me, Adam,” Kris huffed. “I don’t want to be away from you for days, weeks or months on end. That isn’t how a marriage is supposed to be. People grow apart when crap like that happens. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“Kris,” Adam softly said, running his hand through Kris’s hair. “Just because that happened with Katy and Cale doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen to us. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Kris looked at him with sadness in his eyes. “But it still scares me.”

Adam leaned over and kissed his head, pulling Kris into his arms. “You don’t have anything to be scared of. It’s not gonna happen with us. And by the way, how are they doing?”

Kris shrugged, feeling the sadness for his friends in his heart. “They’re still going to counseling but so far, nothing’s changed. Cale’s still at his parents’ place.” Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “I hope to God they can work things out.”

“Yeah,” Adam whispered. “Me too.”

“So you’re okay with all of this?” Kris looked up at Adam, pulling back slightly to see his reaction.

“I’m okay with it…as long as you’re okay with it.” Adam looked at him seriously, his eyes staying glued to Kris’s. “I don’t want you to end up resenting me down the road though because you’re no longer working. I know how much you loved your job, honey.”

“I love you more.”

Adam smiled. “And this house thing with Daniel. When’s the closing?”

Kris shrugged. “Won't know for a couple weeks yet.”

“Is it too late to change the price of the house?”

Kris shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, you need to call up and find out.” He stood up and made his way into the adjoining walk-in closet. “You don’t need the money…we don’t need the money.”

“I can’t just give him the house, honey…he is too proud.”

“Fine,” Adam yelled. “At least lower the price by half, sweetheart, it’s the least we could do.”

Kris jumped up from the bed and walked into the closet, to see his husband re-arranging the clothes that were hung next to his. “You don’t have to do that, you know. This isn’t your family…it’s mine.”

Adam stopped and turned around. “And what’s yours is mine, babe. And yes…they are my family now…so don’t argue with me, just get your ass over here and help me clean up this closet.”

“There’s nothing to clean!”

Adam shook his head and dropped his shoulders. “Did I forget to mention to you how much of a clean freak I am?”

“Yeah, I think you did.”

“I’m a clean freak, and I love my clothes, so get used to it.” Adam took Kris’s shoes that were thrown into the corner of the closet and swept them up in one big swoop, throwing them into the center of the closet. “And that goes for my tour bus too. I’m especially a freak when it comes to that. I can’t stand clutter on that thing. It’s way too small to have any type of clutter visible to the naked eye.”

Kris dropped to his knees. “Are you for real?” He picked up his black Converse and threw it back into the corner of the closet.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Putting my shoes back where they were.”

“You need to put your shoes where they belong,” Adam stated, pointing to the shoe shelf along the end of the closet space. “In there, with the rest of them.”

“There is hardly any room in that damn thing,” Kris huffed, frowning.

Adam laughed, pointing to Kris’s shoes in a pile. “You hardly have any shoes, so we’re all set.”

“Hmphh…” Kris shot back, standing to his feet. “We’ll just see about that, buddy. Once I get my $50,000 from the sale of the house…I’ll be more than willing to buy myself a couple hundred more pairs.”

“Ah shit,” Adam moaned, pulling Kris into a hug. “If that’s how you want to spend your money, go right ahead. I’m not about to stop you.” He kissed Kris passionately, running his hands along his backside slowly. “But promise me you’ll get something other than Converse and Cons.”

Kris laughed, patting Adam on the butt. “I’ll need some sex toys too.”

Adam’s lips made a path to his ear. “That sounds promising.”

“Sure does, doesn’t it?” Kris reached around the front of Adam’s jeans and cupped his crotch. “Should do that before the babies are here.”

“Yeah…when can we start working on that anyway?”

Kris scratched his head; trying to remember the articles he had read about adoption. Should they try surrogacy first? “I think we should talk to someone about this first, see what our options are. This could take months.”

“Months?” Adam whined.

Kris dropped back down to his knees and began sorting out his shoes. “It’ll fly by, honey. Now…” he trailed, handing Adam the first pair of shoes. “You want these shoes in the right spot; you need to help me put them there.”

Adam smiled down at Kris, wiggling his eyebrows excitedly. “While you’re down there…”

Kris smiled back up at him and wiggled his index finger at Adam. “Come a little closer, sir.”

Adam threw the pair of shoes over his shoulder. “To hell with the shoes.”

“That’s what I thought,” Kris laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a little too easy to play with, Lambert. Is this all it’s gonna take for me to get out of keeping a clean house?”

“That might just work.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

When the last of the bags were loaded into the truck, Adam slammed down the back hatch and looked at his husband questionably. “That _is_ it, right?” He peered into the window through the back hatch and shook his head. There were four suitcases along with two duffel bags, three pillows and two bags of goodies to snack on.

“Yes,” Kris replied scornfully. “And from what I could see, you packed just as much as I did only you stuffed your one suitcase fuller than I did any of mine.”

“Maybe,” Adam replied with a smirk. Walking over to Kris, he threw his arm up and around, heading them both towards the house. “Have I told you in the last month how much I’ve enjoyed being home with you?”

“Only a hundred times a day, sweetie.”

“That’s what I thought.” Opening the front door, he allowed Kris to go in first. “I’m just gonna go grab the cooler from the kitchen, so better hit the potty now and then we’ll be off.” Picking the cooler up off the floor, he winced. “Shit, Kris…how much shit did you pack into this damn thing?”

“WHAT?”

“Never mind,” he mumbled, opening the lid to the cooler. He searched through the mess to try and figure out why the damn thing was so heavy. Item by item, he went through the cooler. Ten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, ten cans of soda, six water bottles, fifteen oranges, ten apples, sixteen slices of American cheese, twelve mozzarella string cheese sticks, one bag of Oreo cookies, and two bags of candy bars.

If it weren’t for the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he would’ve been upset at how much food Kris packed. He packed enough food for a three-day drive, not a six-hour drive. They were merely headed to his mom’s in San Francisco for a visit.

Hearing the phone ring, he started towards it but stopped once he realized that Kris had gotten it. Walking back to the cooler, he strategically re-arranged the placement of all the items once he started placing them back in, leaving out the two bags of candy bars and sixteen slices of American cheese.

Adam laughed while placing the cheese back into the fridge. What was Kris thinking? Who packed American cheese slices for a drive?  
Closing the cooler, he lifted it up and carried it out to the truck. Once that was accomplished, he checked all the air pressure in the tires just to be safe. Looking back towards the front door, he frowned.

What was taking Kris so long?

Opening the hood of the truck, he checked the oil to stall for time and then slammed the hood closed. “Come on, Kris…let’s go,” he mumbled under his breath, walking to the front door of the house.

Pushing the door open, he stepped in. “COME ON!”

When he didn’t get any reply, he kicked off his shoes and walked down the hallway in a huff. Kris knew he wanted to be on the road ten minutes ago. They had a schedule to keep. Stopping for a moment to admire their wedding photo that hung on the wall, he traced the frame with his fingers.

It was a beautiful picture…

A treasured moment in time…

Smiling, he continued on his way and told himself not to be so impatient. It wasn’t like his mom was going anywhere. He made his way into the master bedroom and headed straight for the bathroom, knocking once when he reached his destination. “Honey…you still in there?”

When he heard the undeniable sound of gagging, he turned the handle on the door to find that it was locked. “Open the door!” Knowing the distinct difference between gagging and actual vomiting, he began to panic when he realized that it wasn’t just gagging he heard. He took his foot and kicked the door open in two tries. “What’s going on?” he questioned, taking a deep breath.

His eyes flew to the floor where Kris was slumped over the toilet, heaving. Slowly, Kris’s head turned towards him. And in that exact instant, Adam knew that something was terribly wrong.

Kris’s eyes were practically swollen shut. He looked scared, almost petrified. His face was as white as the porcelain toilet he was bent over.

“What’s wrong? You sick?”

Kris sat back on his knees and grabbed his stomach, lurching forward. Eyeing the phone by his foot, Adam repeated himself as panic started to set in. “What’s wrong?” He reached down and grabbed the phone, placing it to his ear. “Who is this?”

“Adam…is that you?”

He didn’t recognize the woman’s voice. “Yeah, who is this?”

“Julianne.”

It only took his brain a second to realize it was Brian’s mother. Sitting down on the cold tile floor, he pulled Kris into his chest and wrapped one arm around him.

“Is Kris all right, dear? The phone went dead.”

“The phone didn’t go dead, he must have dropped it.” Moving the phone away from his ear, Adam whispered into Kris’s ear, “Are you okay?”

When Kris finally nodded, he put the phone back to his ear. “What’s going on? I was outside for a second and when I came back in, he was puking.”

“Is he all right now?”

“He says he is.”

Hearing Julianne sigh heavily into the phone, he patiently waited for some type of explanation as to why Kris had taken a turn for the worse.

“I knew I should’ve told him in person. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone but his mother wasn’t sure of the directions to your place there.”

“Tell him what, Julianne?” There was a long moment of silence where Adam’s patience grew thinner. “Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on? Why is Kris puking in the toilet?”

Julianne’s voice grew faint. “Maybe I should let Bill tell you.”

“Tell me what?!” Adam yelled into the phone, immediately regretting it. He had no business yelling at this woman but at the same time, he was beginning to get downright scared. Kris was literally shaking. “Are you sure you’re all right?” he questioned, squeezing Kris tighter.

“Adam, it’s Bill.” His voice was soft, yet firm.

“Bill, could you please tell me what’s going on?”

“We’re not sure ourselves at this point but we just received a phone call from the government.”

Adam’s stomach turned. “The government?”

“Yes, Adam,” Bill said, taking a deep breath. “Apparently, they’ve just found out that there were thirteen POWs and while they can neither confirm nor deny yet who these thirteen POWs are…they have reason to believe that Brian very well could be one of them.”

“POWs?” Adam repeated, his stomach in complete knots.

Kris’s head slightly turned. “Prisoners of war,” he barely whispered.

Adam was stunned into silence. Adam knew what POW stood for, but hearing the words come out of Kris’s mouth almost knocked the wind right out of him.

“Julianne expressed her concern to Kris about getting his hopes up, she feels…”

Adam interjected quickly, “Then why’d you call if you didn’t want him to get his hopes up? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you said anything.”

The sound of Bill clearing his throat and sighing was enough evidence to Adam that he wasn’t impressed by his remark.

“Adam…they asked us to call Kris. They couldn’t get a hold of him at the number they had on Brian’s file so they called us.”

Brian? POW? Adam had to gasp for air. His whole life was starting to unravel in front of him and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He felt completely vulnerable sitting there. Kris’s late husband might not be so “late” now and it made him almost want to puke himself. He cleared his throat, trying to steady his shaken voice. “But…but…he’s buried over at that military cemetery.” He paused momentarily trying to remember the name of the cemetery. “I don’t…don’t understand…I saw his grave.”

“Adam,” Bill said calmly. “They never recovered any of the twenty-six bodies from that explosion…ever. What you saw was just a standard military headstone that the government provided. There were never any bodies to bury.”

Adam felt like he’d been sucker punched a good twenty times in the gut. Kris had never mentioned anything about that to him. Of course, he never asked either. During the moment or two of silence that followed Bill’s announcement, it all started to make sense to him. Of course they never recovered any bodies…it was an explosion.

No wonder his husband had such a hard time letting go…there was never really any closure without a body.

“On Monday morning, the POWs will be flying into Los Angeles Air Force Base. They’ve asked us to all be there,” Bill said firmly. “That includes Kris. The scheduled arrival time is eleven in the morning.”

Adam closed his eyes. This couldn’t be happening. There was no possible way on earth that this could be happening. Yet, it was happening and it was possible.

“We’d like to pick Kris up on Monday morning if that’s okay with the both of you. We thought that we could head over there together. Julianne’s pretty upset about all of this as well, as I’m sure you can understand, so I think it would be a good idea for us to be together during this difficult time.”

“Sure,” Adam replied almost unconsciously. What else could he say? Just getting one word out was a miracle in itself.

“Of course, whether you’d like to be there or not is strictly up to you and Kris, but we’d be glad to take you with us as well.”

“Sure,” he repeated again. “I’ll be coming.”

“Did you want to discuss that with Kris first?”

Adam’s eyes narrowed, snapping himself out of his dream-like state. “That won’t be necessary, Bill. He’ll want me with him and I wouldn’t think of letting him go through this alone.”

“Fine,” Bill replied quickly. “You’ll need to give me directions on how to get to your place.”

“I’ll call you back later.”

Adam hung up and immediately dropped the phone against the tile on the floor, producing a noise loud enough to snap Kris out of his trance. When he turned around, Adam immediately noticed how labored and quick his breaths were, his chest pronouncing each one.  
He became aware of his own breathing at that point and quickly determined that his breathing was even more labored.

“We should probably get going,” Kris said quietly. “I’m sorry about making us late. I know that you wanted to be on the road by now.”

Adam’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?” When Kris didn’t answer him, he blew out a breath and shook his head. “We aren’t going.”

“But your mom’s expecting us, Adam.”

“I don’t care,” he stated, reaching for the phone again. “Do you really think we’d even be good company after what just happened?”  
Kris’s head dropped.

“Exactly.” Punching in Leila’s numbers, he waited patiently for someone to answer. He was surprised that he even had any patience left at this point. “Mom…hey. Listen, something came up here and we’re not going to be able to make it this weekend. I’ll give you a call next week and maybe we can schedule something then.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Kris and Adam drove in complete silence to Katy’s house. In fact, over the last twenty-four hours, silence described just about everything. No one was saying anything about anything.

It wasn’t that Adam was trying to keep silent because it was quite the opposite. He wanted to talk. Kris was the one who didn’t want to talk and because of that, he pretty much did whatever he could to keep it that way. After the dreaded phone call from Julianne yesterday afternoon, he avoided Adam whenever possible, keeping himself preoccupied with just about anything.

The tension in the air was so thick that even a knife couldn’t cut it.

Adam sighed heavily, trying to keep his mind focused on anything but the fact that in less than forty-eight hours, Kris’s late husband might be making a surprise comeback. It still didn’t seem real, but what things seem and what they actually were, were entirely two different things. Being a celebrity, it was something he was all too familiar with and by being a celebrity, it never made it any easier to accept.

This was no different.

When he finally forced himself to look over at his husband, Kris looked back at him and gave him a weak smile. His normal happy self wasn’t even able to break through the scared exterior and it made the whole scenario sink in that much further. “Katy mentioned that Cale was gonna try and make it over for dinner too,” Kris said, turning his head to look back out the passenger side window.

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I think they’re finally making some headway on their relationship. At least, it sounded that way to me when I called her this afternoon.”

“That’s cool.”

Kris’s head slowly turned. Adam couldn’t help but be short with his answers, something he obviously noticed right away by the look on his face. “All right,” he replied wearily. “Is there something bothering you?”

“Gee, I don’t know, Kris,” Adam shot back quickly. “Why would you think that?”

Kris dropped his head rather hesitantly. “I told Katy what was going on.”

“I figured as much.”

“I needed someone to talk to,” Kris whispered softly.

Adam’s eyes remained focused on the road while he placed his hand on Kris’s thigh. “I wish you would talk to me about it.”

“You won’t understand.”

“Try me.”

“I don’t want you to get mad.”

“Why would I get mad?”

Kris sighed, dropping his head back against the seat. “I’m scared, Adam…I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act.”

Instead of saying something, Adam simply squeezed his thigh. As much as he wanted to talk about it, he really didn’t know what to say.

“I guess I’m really trying hard to not think about this at all until Monday. I still can’t believe that any of this is happening.”

“What I don’t get about the whole thing is why the government didn’t figure this out sooner than now,” Adam managed to finally say. It probably wasn’t the right time to say it, or the right thing to say, but short of breaking down himself, he opted to be honest. “I’m not sure I’m buying into this whole thing.”

Kris lifted his head slowly, turning it towards Adam. “What? You think this is all a lie?”

“No, not exactly.” Adam turned towards him again, narrowing his eyes. “They wouldn’t lie about something like this. I don’t know what to think. After three years they just now find out about this?”

“I can’t think about this now,” Kris grunted, obviously frustrated with Adam’s honesty. “I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Well, when the hell do you think you’re gonna feel like talking about it, Kris?” Adam removed his hand from Kris’s thigh and pounded the steering wheel twice. “Monday is right around the corner.”

“Don’t you think I know that, Adam?!” Kris turned his head towards Adam, rubbing his eyes. “I know Monday’s right around the corner and I know this doesn’t make sense but I don’t know what to say. I’m scared, Adam,” he moaned, breaking down. “I’m scared…”

Adam reached over, placing his hand on Kris’s cheek. “I know, honey. And I’m scared that you’re going to get your hopes up only to end up hurt.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

After dinner, Katy and Kris excused themselves and headed upstairs. It was a welcome relief as far as Adam was concerned. His husband had done a complete one eighty in a matter of less than thirty and some odd hours. He’d clammed up, shut down and shut everyone out. And dinner was no exception. If it weren’t for Cale and Adam’s conversation at dinner, there would’ve been no conversation at all. It was that bad.

“Fuck,” Adam moaned, grabbing another beer from the fridge. Walking back over to the kitchen table, he sat down. “Dinner was painful.”

“You’re not kidding. What the hell was up with that?”

Adam blew out a frustrated breath and shook his head. “Kris’s pretty much clammed up since he got the phone call from Brian’s parents. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but haven’t had much luck.”

Cale got up from the table, grabbing some dirty dishes. He walked over and placed them in the sink. “I still can’t believe it. There is no damn way he’s still alive.”

“I don’t know, Cale,” he moaned. “According to Bill, the government said that there was a very good chance that Brian is still alive.”

“Do you know how fucked up he’s gonna be?” Cale walked back over to the table, grabbing some more dirty dishes. With his hands full, he stopped. “If he’s actually still alive…and after years of being a prisoner…he’s gonna be fucked up, no question about it.”

Adam pounded back his beer. He couldn’t even imagine someone going through something like that, much less someone his husband loved. Which was exactly what frightened him the most.

His husband loved Brian at one point. His husband _still_ loved Brian. He would always love Brian and Adam thought he was okay with that, but now he wasn’t so sure. “Do you even think this is possible? I just can’t believe that no one had wind of this earlier than now.”

Cale sat across from Adam on the chair, shaking his head. “I don’t know, man…it sounds fishy to me too, but I don’t really have a clue on how any of this Army shit works.”

Adam’s eyes darted towards the ceiling and then at Cale. “What the hell is this going to do to us?”

Cale shrugged. Looking at Adam, he rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know, Adam. Hopefully, it won’t do anything to you two.”

“You and I can hope all we want,” Adam retorted. “But both of us know damn well, it’s gonna affect my relationship with Kris. There’s no way that this _won’t_ affect it. Even if Brian isn’t one of the survivors, it’ll still set us back.” He paused momentarily, catching his breath. “If he isn’t one of the POWs, I already know that Kris will spend the rest of his life wondering if he’s still out there somewhere,” he moaned.

Cale’s head dropped back, looking towards the ceiling. “What the hell are those two doing in the attic?”

“Attic?”

“Yeah, I can hear them rummaging around up there. They’re in the attic.”

“Only one way to find out,” Adam said, standing to his feet. “And my guess is that it has something to do with Brian.”

“Shit,” Cale moaned. “Now that you mention it, Katy did put all those boxes from Kris’s old place up there.”

Adam acknowledged him with a nod and made his way to the stairs. “What room has access to the attic?”

“Third door on your left.”

Adam stopped and raised his eyebrows. “You comin’?”

Cale shook his head. “Nope, you’re on your own.”

Step by step, Adam tiptoed his way up the stairs and right into that room. Hearing Kris and Katy talking, he stopped and listened. It was against his better judgment, but at this point, he wasn’t capable of making any type of judgment.

“Are you sure you really want to read those, Kris?”

“I’m not sure about anything.”

“Why don’t you wait then…until you know more about what’s going on.”

“I can’t wait, Katy…what if he _is_ alive? I need to know what those letters say.”

“Have you talked to Adam about this?” Katy asked, in a perturbed voice.

“I can’t talk to him about this, you know that. He wouldn’t understand.”

“I think you’re underestimating your husband, Kris.”

 _Thank you, Katy_ … Adam took a seat on the carpeted floor and leant up against the wall. This sounded like it could be a while and he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Maybe, maybe not. But how can I talk to him about it when I don’t even know what to think myself?”

“That’s why you need to talk to him…take it from me, you have to keep the lines of communication open, honey. If you don’t, what’s happening with Cale and myself could happen to you.”

“Just help me look through these boxes please…if we’re gone for too long, Adam and Cale are going to start looking for us,” Kris said.

“Fine, but I think you’re making a mistake by doing this, Kris.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time you thought that.”

Once Adam heard Katy confirm that she’d found the box that Kris was searching for, he stood up to leave. He didn’t want to take any chances of being seen. Slowly, he made his way down the stairs, finding Cale on the couch, watching TV.

“Well?”

Adam sat down, shrugging. “Kris’s going through Brian’s things just like I suspected and your wife should be heading down…” he trailed, pointing to the stairs. “Just about now.”

Katy bounded down the stairs. “Kris should be down in a few minutes…he wasn’t feeling too good.”

Adam looked at Cale. Cale looked at Adam.

“Did you guys want to play cards or something? Maybe get a game of Euchre going?” Katy asked, wiping down the table. “Thanks for cleaning up, guys.”

“Thank your husband,” Adam replied casually. “He did it.”

“We need four people to play Euchre, Katy,” Cale stated, flipping through the channels still. “I only see three here.”

“Kris’ll be down in a minute, guys, hang tight.”

During their wait, Adam refrained from asking any questions and acted like he was getting involved in the rerun of ‘How I Met Your Mother’, even laughing on cue when he heard Cale laugh. It had to have been a good twenty minutes before Kris finally made his way down the stairs and when he did, Adam glanced down at his watch and then over to Kris. “Feeling better?” he questioned, knowing damn well that Kris felt fine.

Slowly, Kris made his way over to the couch where Adam sat; head down and trembling. Adam immediately noticed the change in him, even from a distance. Something was wrong. “Kris, what’s wrong?”

When Kris was finally standing in front of Adam, he lifted his head. The tears were streaming down his face. Streaming. Not falling, not pouring, but streaming.

Slowly, Kris’s hand came up from his side. Adam’s head shot down when he saw how bad Kris was trembling. Looking back into his eyes, Adam lifted his hand and gently started wiping Kris’s face. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cale get up and make his way into the kitchen.

“Adam?” he squeaked out.

“Hmmm?” he questioned, dropping his gaze again when he noticed Kris had a folded-up letter in his hand. Slowly, he reached for Kris’s hand.

“I told him I’d wait,” he whispered, gasping for air. “He thinks I’m waiting for him.”

Adam pulled Kris down onto his lap. “We’ve been over this before…you _did_ wait. Plus you thought he was gone.” He pried Kris’s hand open, retrieving the letter from inside. “Don’t start beating yourself up over it.” His heart ached for Kris. “Please don’t start.”

“How am I g-gonna explain to h-him that I m-married someone else?” Kris gasped for air, bending over at the waist.

“Stop it,” Adam huffed, pulling Kris up by the waist and wrapping his arms around his husband. “Just knock it off now. We don’t even know if he’s alive yet and you’re worried about what you’re gonna tell him about me. If…and that’s a big if…he’s alive, Kris, you’re gonna tell him the truth.”

“That’ll k-kill him,” Kris mumbled into his chest.

Adam held on to Kris tightly, wishing he could make everything and everyone just go away. Two days ago, their lives were just fine…wonderful in fact. And today, their lives were anything but fine.

“I t-told him I’d w-wait.”

Ignoring his remark, Adam had opened up the letter and was now reading what had Kris so upset…….

_Kris,_

_Well, this is the fifth letter I’ve written to you this past week. You’re all that I think about, sweetheart. I’m having a hard time even concentrating on what I’m supposed to be doing. Things here are pretty intense now, but because of where I’m stationed, we don’t see any of the action.  
I miss you, babe. A lot. And when I get back home, I’m getting out of this gig for good. I don’t know what it’ll take to get out, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I just want out. I don’t want to do this anymore._

_How are things back home? Hopefully, next weekend, I’ll be able to call home to hear your voice. I miss talking to you, holding you, kissing you…God, how I miss those damn lips of yours! But more than anything, I miss seeing your beautiful face when I wake up in the morning and how you always start off the day by telling me how much you love me._

_I’m gonna be home soon, sweetheart. I don’t know when exactly, but I’ll be there before you know it and the only thing that keeps me going each and every day is knowing that you’ll be there waiting for me._

_I love you.  
Brian_

Adam folded the letter back up and lifted Kris off his lap and to his feet. Rising to his feet himself, he stuffed the letter into his back pocket. “Get your stuff…we need to go.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Sunday was just about the longest day Adam had ever encountered in his life. The heat outside combined with the humidity made it virtually impossible to even set foot outside. In his mind, his only chance of escaping reality was to go outside and get away from it all, but because of the weather, he didn’t have a choice but to remain trapped in the dark hole he was getting sucked into.

As the minutes and hours slowly ticked by, he was finding it more and more difficult to breathe. If possible, the dark hole was getting darker and he knew there was no way out of it. Even wishing something like this on his worst enemy seemed unfathomable.

Kris kept himself pretty much locked up in their bedroom, only coming out occasionally for water and/or a snack. Their friends stopped by on several different occasions, breaking up the long dreadful afternoon. Kris’s parents and Daniel kept calling few times a day. Everyone was concerned about the events taking place, but out of the bunch, only Kim was willing to speak to Adam about it.

Daniel was mostly concerned about what this meant for him and buying the house. And because Adam had neither the time nor patience to go down that avenue, he just blew him off.

Which didn’t help matters.

When the day finally ended and nightfall finally set in, Adam made his way into the bedroom, taking his place next to his husband in bed. Gathering Kris up into his arms, Adam snuggled him in close. “Everything’s going to be okay,” he whispered, not believing a single word.

“I wish I could believe that.”

Those were the only words they spoke to each other all day. That was it. And when the sun rose the next morning, Adam wasn’t surprised to find Kris sitting on the edge of the bay window seat in the east side of the room, wrapped in a blanket and staring blankly outside.

“Did you manage to get any rest at all?” he asked, sitting up to rest against the headboard.

“Not much.”

He glanced over at the alarm clock. “It’s only five o’clock. Why don’t you try and get some sleep for a few hours.”

“I can’t sleep, Adam,” Kris whispered, still avoiding any type of eye contact with Adam.

“Can I make you a cup of coffee or something?”

Kris shook his head.

“Hungry?”

Again, he shook his head.

Instead of arguing with Kris about getting his rest and eating, Adam simply got out of bed and walked over to him. Kris looked tired and emotionally drained. The bags under his eyes were dark and from what Adam could see, his eyes looked bloodshot. He placed a kiss on the top of Kris’s head. “I love you.”

Turning, he walked towards the master bathroom that adjoined the bedroom.

“Adam?”

He stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

By eight o’clock, they were both dressed and as ready as they could be. Adam opted just to wear jeans, keeping it casual. Kris, on the other hand, came out of the bedroom wearing a suit. He looked refreshed and wide-awake, observant of his surroundings. A complete change from what Adam’d seen earlier.

He took a seat on the couch, dropping his head back. “You look hot.”

Within a minute, Adam felt Kris take a seat next to him, dropping his head to his chest. “I’m scared,” he confessed.

“I know you are,” Adam whispered, placing his arm around his husband.

He was scared too. Scared of the unknown. But more than anything, he was scared of what the next few hours held for them…as a couple.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Once Adam, Kris, Bill and Julianne arrived at the Los Angeles Air Base, a government official met up with them, along with several other families and led them to a private room. They were directed inside where several more families waited.

For a room filled with well over one hundred people, it was eerily quiet. Not a single person said anything as they stood and sat huddled together.

Adam took a moment to look around. The room mostly held women and elderly couples. Couples that were undoubtedly parents of the prisoners in question, possibly even grandparents. There were a handful of teenage children who looked uncertain as to what they were supposed to do or feel. His heart went out to them, wondering how they would deal with the surprise and/or disappointment they were sure to encounter. It was truly a sad scene.

And one that was so different from what he was used to seeing at gatherings of this magnitude.

When another government official of some sort came into the room, everyone’s head swung towards him, anxious as to what the next move would be.

“The plane is due to land in fifteen minutes. We just spoke with the pilots and everything is on track. I’ll be taking all of you outside now, to an area where the passengers of the plane will be unloading. Just a word of warning…there are hundreds of reporters out there…it’s your choice whether or not you want to talk to them. They have been directed not to ask any questions whatsoever. If they do, they will be escorted out by one of the hundreds of guards that are stationed at the scene as well.”

The official took a moment to catch his breath. “There will be counselors available for any one of you or your family members throughout the day today. You were all given an information package today. Inside, you’ll find helpful info on how to deal with many of the issues you’ll be facing. We even have youth counselors on site for the children.”

He held up a package and pointed to it. “There are locations and phone numbers of counselors inside the package that will be available to help you at any time, whether it be today, tomorrow, next week, next month or a year from now. They’re there if you need them…please don’t hesitate to contact any of them, day or night.” He dropped the packet to his side and nodded. “Follow me, please.”

Kris reached for Adam’s hand, looking over at him. “Thank you for coming with me.”

Somehow he managed a small smile. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They all made their way outside, where there were hundreds of camera crews and reporters from around the globe. If anything, the official underestimated and despite the fact that they were warned ahead of time, out of habit Adam stepped back for a moment, lowering his head.  
He was trying to shield his face, hoping that he wouldn’t be recognized and call attention to himself.

And that’s when it hit him. This wasn’t about him. And even though he already knew that, it reinforced it.

No one would say anything to him even if he were recognized. This was not about him. This was about people…men and women…who chose to fight for what the United States of America stood for and in the grand scheme of things – gave their life.

This was about the hundreds of people who’d lost a loved one only to find out a few years later that their loved ones might very well be alive.  
Adam’s head hurt, his heart ached and his stomach turned; and once the plane was in full view, everything hurt a thousand times worse. Instead of what he was used to hearing – screaming and cheering fans – not one single sound was made during the entire landing. It was a surreal moment where time seemed to stand still and life seemed to all but stop.

By the time the steps were put into place, people were talking, crying and saying their prayers – out loud and to themselves. He quickly glanced over at Julianne when he saw her fall to her knees. She was looking towards the sky, with her hands folded and praying out loud to God.

He stepped back as is took him by surprise at how vocal she was being. After a few moments, Bill pulled her to her feet and buried her head to his chest.

He couldn’t even imagine the pain they were going through.

Adam felt Kris’s hand squeeze his tighter. Looking down, he turned their hands over and quickly noticed that his husband wasn’t wearing any of his rings. No engagement ring and no wedding band. He closed his eyes, dropped his head and swallowed down the lump in his throat.

He knew exactly why Kris didn’t have them on and that’s what made it all the harder to actually accept.

Adam lifted his head when he heard a couple not too far down from him start sobbing. Glancing towards the plane, he saw the first man step foot off the plane. He looked lost, looking down at the hordes of people that were all looking at him.

“KEVIN!” The woman yelled. “KEVIN!!”

Despite the way Adam really felt, he couldn’t help but smile as the woman, obviously a parent went running towards the plane with her arms wide open.

Kevin was home.

One by one, the same scene unraveled before him and it was only a mere three minutes later that Julianne doubled over and screamed, thanking God loudly. Immediately, Adam’s head shot up and over to the plane. Slowly, the very same scenes that he’d just witnessed, took place with the people he came with.

Julianne’s prayers were answered.

Brian, too, was home.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Looking over at Bill and Julianne, Adam knew instantly that the man who’d just stepped foot off the plane was indeed their son. Even if there hadn’t been any tears in their eyes, he knew by the look on their faces.

Their son was home.

“Oh my God,” Kris mumbled quietly. “It’s him.”

When his husband said those words, Adam closed his eyes to try and ease the pain he felt. He knew what he should’ve been feeling for everyone’s prayers being answered, but the only feeling he was experiencing was pain. Gut wrenching, heart-breaking pain. The exact type of pain he’d only ever experienced once in his life…when he broke up with Brad.

“BRIAN!” Julianne screamed, before grabbing her husband’s hand and running through the crowd.

Adam’s eyes darted towards the plane again, trying his best to place Brian’s face. He’d only seen one photo of Brian, the wedding photo, and from what he could tell, it didn’t look like the same man. His hair was definitely longer and where there was no facial hair then, there was a ton now. His dirty blonde beard practically hung down to his chest.

Reality was setting in quickly as he looked over at his husband again. Kris was still standing there by his side, holding his hand, completely shell-shocked if he had to guess. He was trembling; his mouth was hanging wide-open, tears streaming down his face.

Adam tightened his grip on Kris’s hand. Out of fear and out of possessiveness. And more than anything, Adam didn’t want to let his hand go. He seriously felt that if he let his hand go, he’d be letting Kris go.

When Kris finally turned his head and looked up at him, Adam felt completely sick. Kris’s face spoke all the words that his lips refused to say. Despite the fact that Kris probably didn’t know what to do, Adam knew exactly what he had to do. There was no other choice.

He swallowed, fought back the tears and nodded his head, doing his best to act unnerved by the whole situation. And as much as he had prepared himself for what was now happening, he really wasn’t prepared at all. Nothing could’ve prepared him for this. Absolutely nothing. Managing only a weak smile at best, he did what he didn’t want to do.

He let go of Kris’s hand.

“Go to him,” Adam finally choked out.

“You sure?” Kris questioned quietly, wiping his cheeks clean of the tears and looking at Adam with uncertainty.

“Positive,” Adam said, nodding and looking back towards Brian. “He needs you.” Turning back towards his husband, Adam nodded again. “I’ll be fine…go.”

And with those words, Kris was gone.

Gone…gone…gone.

Kris didn’t take off running like all the others had before him; instead, he simply walked.

As Adam watched the entire scene through eyes that were clouded with tears, he grabbed his chest, trying desperately to gasp for much needed air. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t do anything…but watch as his husband made his way back to his first husband.

Adam seriously thought he would have a heart attack if he continued to watch, but he just couldn’t pull himself away from the scene that was unraveling before him. If it hadn’t been his own husband who was staring in the leading role, it would’ve been an award-winning scene. It was that touching and that dramatic and unfortunately for him, that real.

And with each reporter, news crew and cameraman who were videotaping, he was pretty sure it wouldn’t be the last time he saw it unfold. Adam closed his eyes briefly to try and make the image go away. It hurt too much and after a few seconds, he realized that the images were burned into memory. Closing his eyes wouldn’t and didn’t help.

Opening them slowly, his gaze centered right in on Kris standing maybe three feet away from Brian now, with Brian standing still himself. They were both just staring at each other. And they stood there for what seemed like minutes, but was probably only seconds, before Kris ran the rest of the way to him.

Brian’s arms opened wide, engulfing Kris and picking him up and off his feet. He twirled Kris around a couple times before stopping to place him back down.

Adam gripped his neck with his hand, forcing down the bile that was making its way up. Gasping, he finally caught his breath and then did what any sane man in his position would do, he broke down and cried as he watched Brian cup his hands on Kris’s face and then pull him in for a kiss.

Dropping his head, he took one last deep, shattered breath and made his way inside the building to make a call.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

“Jesus, Adam,” Brad huffed, dropping the menu to the table. “Did you even tell them that you were leaving?”

Adam dropped his menu to the table as well. “Didn’t have to. I watched them from inside the building for over an hour and I honestly don’t think they even remembered that I was there in the first place.”

“Surely Kris remembered that you were there.”

Adam shook his head and sighed. “If he did, I didn’t notice. He was too caught up in everything else, trust me.” He grimaced trying to ease the ache in his heart. He seriously didn’t think he’d ever had this much heartache in one day.

“I don’t know, Ad,” Brad mumbled loudly to his friend. “They’ll probably be waiting around for you…you should’ve at least told someone you were leaving.”

Brad was probably right. He probably should’ve told someone that he was leaving. But after the scene of Brian and Kris kissing, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to anyone. And that’s exactly why he called Brad, begging him to pick him up from the base. He needed to get the hell out of there.

“Maybe I should call Kris on his cell, just to be safe.”

“Yeah,” Brad agreed. “I think maybe you better.”

Adam quickly excused himself and made his way outside of the pub. It was an Irish pub that Brad frequented often and when Adam told him that he didn’t want Brad to take him right home, he suggested they stop for a late lunch and a brewski or two.

What Adam needed was about ten brewskis, nine Gin and Tonics, eight Tequila Sunrises, seven Killer Kool-Aids, six Sex on the Beaches, five Shirley Temples, four Fuzzy Navels, three more beers, two straight-up shots and one husband who still loved him. Then, and only then, would he feel better.

He paced the sidewalk, waiting for Kris to pick up his phone. After four rings, it was apparent that Kris was either ignoring his phone or had turned it off.

“Hey, hon,” he said quietly, leaving a message on the voicemail. “Just wanted to let you know that I had Lane pick me up from the base. She’ll drop me off at home here in a little bit. I hope everything’s going okay with you guys.” He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “I’ll see you at home. I love you.”

Placing his cell phone back in his pocket, Adam made his way back into the pub. He stopped by the bar on his way to his seat, ordering another round of beers. This was going to be another long day. Sunday would probably pale in comparison to what this day was going to hold.

He placed the beers on the table and pulled out his chair, quickly taking a seat. “Thought we could use a refill.”

Brad nodded, allowing his eyes to study Adam. “I just ordered us a bunch of different appetizers. Good enough?”

“Fine,” Adam replied, staring at his beer mug while he ran his finger along the rim. “I’m not really all that hungry anyway.”

Brad copied Adam’s actions, running his finger along the rim of his glass. “Don’t blame you. I still can’t believe that his ex is still alive.”

“You and me both,” Adam stated, stopping to look up for a moment. “But he isn’t his ex, Brad…they didn’t get divorced. Kris is a widower…was a widower…hell, whatever, but there’s a big difference. They were in love and still married when Brian was sent away…so that makes things a little more complicated now that he’s back.” He blew a frustrated breath out his nose. “Real complicated.”

“I can understand that this will throw things off kilter for a while,” Brad agreed, shrugging and thanking the waitress as she put down a bowl of peanuts. “But ultimately, you two are married…why do you think that this is going to complicate things?”

Adam contemplated whether or not he wanted to get into the specifics of his relationship with Kris and Kris’s obsession with doing the right thing, however wrong it really was. Taking his hand, he raked it through his hair, allowing his head to fall back. “Shit, Brad…it’s too complicated to even get into but to wrap it up in a sentence or two…he promised Brian that he’d wait for him and that’s exactly what he did until we met. For three years, he waited.” He brought his head back down and sighed. “He didn’t date anyone or anything…and to this day, he has a real hang-up about it. I thought he was over it, but he finally read a letter that Brian had written him while he was gone and in there was the fact that the only thing that kept him going every day was that Kris was waiting for him.”

Brad cracked open a peanut. “No sane man would expect their spouse to give up years of their life though…doesn’t Kris realize that?”

“Nope,” Adam dryly stated. “He doesn’t.”

Brad shook his head, a look of disbelief on his face. “So what’s this mean for you guys?”

Adam shrugged. “I hope nothing, but honestly…I don’t have a clue. If Brian lays the guilt trip on Kris, I don’t know what he’ll end up doing.”

“Wow.” Brad took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with his hand. “Now that he’s back, does this make your marriage void?”

Adam’s eyes widened at the sound of hearing that question. He’d never even thought about it. “I don’t think so…I mean, he was officially declared dead at the time. It wasn’t like a missing person type of thing where they have seven years or something. Kris collected Brian’s life insurance policy immediately and everything.” He moaned, dropping his head to his hands. “Shit…I don’t even want to think about that.”

“Ya know, Adam,” Brad said earnestly. “Sounds to me like maybe you two should’ve gotten to know each other more than you did before you walked down the aisle.”

Adam simply peered at Brad, waving his hand dismissively.

“Don’t take that the wrong way or anything.”

“And just how the fuck did you want me to take it, Brad?” He pushed his beer out of the way and flung his arms up on the table, folding them in a defiant manner. “In my world – your comment could only mean one thing.” He held up his finger to drive his point home. “You think I made a mistake.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to,” he replied, waving his finger around. “You implied it and for your information…we did not make a mistake getting married…no matter what the future holds for us as a couple, we did not make a mistake. I know Kris better than most people I’ve known for a decade, and that includes you too.”

Brad tilted his head “If you know him so well, Adam…then why don’t you know what he’s going to do now that his first husband is back in the picture?”

Adam had to take a deep breath. If he didn’t, he was liable to blow up and say something he’d regret. Fighting the urge to just get up and leave, he blew out his breath. “Should we just call it a day and head home? I’m not about to sit here and defend my actions to you or anyone else, Brad. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a child and I don’t appreciate being treated like one.”

“All right, take it easy.”

Adam gulped down the rest of his beer, slamming it hard against the tabletop when it was empty. “I think I’m ready to go.”

“Now come on…I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Good,” Adam acknowledged with a nod. “Then don’t fight and just take me home.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Adam glanced at the stone and black marble clock that hung above the fireplace mantle. It was a wedding gift from Brian’s parents and at that particular time, unfortunately, it was a reminder that his time with Kris might very well be running out.

12:30 in the morning and still no sign of his husband.

Not even a phone call.

He walked towards the over-stuffed chair that sat in the corner next to the fireplace and took a seat. Bringing his legs over to rest on one of the arms, he dropped his head back on the other arm. He contemplated calling Bill for only a moment before realizing he didn’t have their number handy and having to call information first was just too much work with the depressed state he was in.

1:00 in the morning and still nothing.

Adam sat up in the chair. Despite the darkness that loomed outside and throughout the house, he had a clear shot of the front door. The front door that Kris’d undoubtedly come through…when and if he came home.

1:30 in the morning.

Adam was still sitting there, in complete darkness and in a complete state of disbelief over what’d happened in last twenty-four hours, when he heard the front door rattle. His pulse quickened with each second that ticked by, staring blankly towards the door. Whether or not it was his husband or an intruder was still yet to be seen. Hopefully, it wasn’t the latter. But if it was, he was in no condition to do anything about it besides sit there and watch.

By the time the front door finally opened, Adam already knew who it was. Kris. There was no way that an intruder would’ve spent that much time trying to open the front door when there were plenty of picture windows within a few feet that’d be easier to break.

He watched in complete silence and without moving a muscle, as his husband quietly walked in, dropped his bag to the floor, kicked off his shoes and then slowly shut the front door behind him.

Adam bit his tongue, fighting back the urge to talk. He wanted to see what his next move would be.

Kris stood completely still in the front foyer for a few minutes. A couple of times his head swung around to look down the hallway that led to the bedrooms. But that was it. No movement towards the bedrooms, just a couple of quick glances.

He sighed loudly and stepped onto the carpeting in the living room, making his way to the couch that sat against the closest wall to the door, opposite to where Adam was sitting. After taking off his coat, he reached for his neck, loosened his tie and started opening the buttons of his shirt.

It didn’t take long for him to lose his shirt and then his pants.

Adam had to stifle his moan.

And then he had to hold back his groan when Kris quickly grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and lay down. He was going to sleep on the couch. Not in their bedroom or on their bed and not next to his husband, but on the couch.

“How’d it go?” Adam finally asked quietly; surprised to hear his own voice sound the way it did. Hurt and confused.

Even through the darkness, he could tell that Kris was surprised. His body completely froze with his arm still in the air to cover himself up with the blanket.

“How long have you been sitting there?”

“For a couple of hours.”

Not another word was spoken as Kris finished covering himself up. And it was a good minute or two later before he finally made any attempt at having a conversation. “Why’d you leave the base today?”

Adam sighed loudly, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t belong there.”

“Oh.”

Adam’s mouth dropped. Oh? Just oh? Kris wasn’t even going to try and convince him otherwise. Obviously, Kris agreed with him. He didn’t belong there. Adam yanked on his hair in an attempt to feel a different type of pain. He could handle just about any type of pain except pain that shot straight through to his heart.

“So you got my message on your voicemail then?”

“Yeah.”

“You should’ve called and told me you were gonna be this late. I was worried.”

Kris shifted on the couch, letting out a long sigh. “Sorry.”

There was silence again. The kind of silence that made everyone who had to endure it, cringe. Slowly, Adam got up from his chair. Walking over to the couch, he bent down and placed his hand on the top of his husband’s head. “Do you feel like talking about it?”

Kris turned his head slightly away from Adam. “There really isn’t to much to talk about. After we left the base, we all headed back to Bill and Julianne’s house to eat.”

“Who drove you home?”

“Katy.”

Adam’s heart skipped a beat. “Katy? Why didn’t you just call me to come and get you?”

Slowly, Kris turned his head towards Adam. “Katy and Cale came over to Bill and Julianne’s house for dinner.”

“Oh,” Adam replied casually, trying to act unaffected by the announcement. “I see.”

Kris sat up on the couch and scooted back to rest on the arm. “They wanted to see him.”

“I understand.” Trying his best to smile, Adam forced his lips to act. Even though it was pitch dark in the room, his voice would sound better if he were at least faking somewhat of a smile. “How’s Brian handling all of this?”

Kris shrugged. “It’s hard to say. Physically, he’s okay. He did share a little bit about that aspect of this whole thing.” Kris ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Apparently, all thirteen of the guys were treated fairly well. They weren’t tortured or starved or anything like that, thank God.”

As much as Adam tried to say something, he couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come and no amount of forcing them could change that.

“But mentally, I don’t think he’s doing okay. Before they were all brought back to the States, the army flew in a few therapists the day before to try and help all the prisoners cope.” Kris sighed loudly, covering his eyes with his hands. “I guess they thought that one day was sufficient to try and ease them back into reality…can you imagine?” He turned his head towards Adam. “After all this time, they thought one lousy day would be sufficient…I highly doubt that’ll be all the therapy he needs. He’s already agreed that it’s going to take a lot of time to try and work through this.”

Hearing Kris blaspheme caught Adam off-guard. Normally, Kris wasn’t one to use profanity unless the situation called for it and apparently, the current situation called for it. Adam sat back on his rear and stretched out, putting his arms behind him to support his weight. “He’s pretty messed up…in the head. He’s been out of touch with reality for years, you know?”

“Understandable.”

Why Adam was incapable of only uttering one or two word sentences was beyond anything he comprehended. He tried to say more, but the words just wouldn’t come out. He was pretty sure that he was coming across as being insensitive, but that wasn’t the case.

Kris turned away from Adam again. “I told him that I’d be able to meet with him every day for a few weeks to try and help him ease back into his life…but I doubt that will help either.”

“Sure.”

Kris finally looked over at Adam; his facial expression wasn’t apparent due to the lack of light, but his loud sigh was a dead giveaway. “You understand why I need to be with him for a few weeks, right?”

Adam lied through his clenched jaw. “Absolutely.”

“How come I don’t believe you?”

Adam shrugged.

“I can’t just ignore him, Adam.”

“No.”

“I won’t do that to him…he’s been through too much,” Kris mumbled, scooting himself back down into a lying position on the couch. “He needs everyone right now.”

Swallowing back his pride, Adam forced the lump down his throat. “I need you too,” he squeaked out.

Kris’s hand slowly dropped from the couch, resting on Adam’s calf. “Right now…he needs me more…you understand, right?” He rubbed his hand along Adam’s calf. “I’m not going to ignore you, if that’s what you’re worried about, honey.”

Adam was more than worried about being ignored. Being ignored wasn’t the problem. He was worried about being forgotten. But there was no way he was going to say that. He didn’t want to come off as being insensitive, uncaring or too demanding. “Did you tell him that you’re married?”

Adam immediately felt Kris’s touch stiffen, and then stop. Kris removed his hand from Adam’s leg and then rolled over to his side, turning himself into the back of the couch and away from his husband. “I’m tired, Adam.”

Adam closed his eyes and managed to stand to his feet before saying anything else. He already knew the answer to his question; Kris’s lack of answering was a clear indication that their marriage wasn’t a subject that was brought up, but he wanted to hear Kris say it. “Did you tell him that you’re married, Kris?”

Kris’s head flew back. “I wanted to, I really did.” Kris sighed heavily, covering his face with his hand. “But I just couldn’t do that to him today…it would’ve been too much for him.”

“He didn’t ask?”

Kris shook his head, removing his hand.

“And no one else mentioned it?”

Kris shook his head again.

Adam bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Don’t sleep out here…take the bed,” he whispered. “I’ll sleep out here.”

Kris slowly rose to his feet. “You sure? I’d tell you to join me, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be tossing around all night.”

“Positive,” Adam mumbled, sitting down on the couch.

“Thanks,” Kris said quickly, walking away.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

The next week dragged by so slowly for Adam that he thought he’d die from frustration alone. For the majority of the days that’d passed, Kris spent his time over at Bill and Julianne’s place, leaving him and his overactive brain in a state of confusion. He wasn’t sure what was going on with Kris or Brian. Kris always had an excuse for not wanting to talk about it.

Always.

Grabbing two suitcases out of the garage, he slowly made his way to the bedroom. Against his better judgment, he was going to head out to New York a week early. He was due to meet his band out there for a meeting with his record label, anyway, so he decided to get a head start. If he was lucky, he could convince his husband to join him. If he weren’t so lucky, maybe Kris’d at least consider it out of guilt. He knew how much Kris hated to be away from him. He’d said so himself many times and even quit his job he loved so much because of it.

Maybe, just maybe, Kris would realize that having Adam gone for three weeks straight would be too much to bear and he’d relent.

Maybe.

Adam glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand and sighed. It was already six o’clock in the evening and Kris still wasn’t home. He’d left the house at nine in the morning, just like all the other mornings and while it wasn’t unusual for him to show up after dark, he’d promised that tonight he would be home in time for dinner.

Stopping in front of the full-length mirror in the walk-in closet, he studied himself closely. He still looked the same. Still looked like Adam Lambert, but he sure as hell didn’t feel the same. Cool, calm and most of the time collected Adam Lambert hadn’t existed since the fateful day the plane landed at LAX.

Those words failed to define him now.

Sticking his neck out, he studied his face closely. He didn’t remember having any wrinkles in his goatee last month, but yet, there he stood looking at the wrinkles in their early phase staring right back at him. Was it possible to age so quickly? In a matter of a week?

Evidently it was. He had the proof.

“Damn,” he mumbled out loud, running his hand along his face. “Maybe I should start Botox treatment.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

Startled, his hand flew down to his side before turning around. Adam smiled at his beautiful husband, totally aware that, despite the fact that he looked emotionally drained, he still had that beautiful glow about him that Adam loved so much.

“Sorry if I scared you,” Kris replied softly.

“No problem.”

“Sorry I’m late,” he added, shrugging. “You didn’t eat yet, did you?”

He shook his head.

“Did you want to go grab a bite to eat?”

“Not really,” Adam replied, fighting the urge to grab Kris in his arms and demand to know what was happening between him and Brian. God, why wouldn’t Kris just open up and tell him what was going on? Was that too much to ask?

“Oh…did you make something for dinner?” Kris asked, stepping out of the closet. “Why are your suitcases on the bed? You’re not leaving for another week, I thought.”

Adam inwardly sighed, looking to the ceiling and saying a quick prayer to the universe. “Actually, I’ve decided to head to New York early and meet up with some friends that I haven’t seen in a long time.”

“Patrick?”

Adam stepped out of the closet in a flash. Kris’s comeback was so quick that it had him startled. “What?”

Kris was sitting on the bed. His hand was resting on one of the suitcases in question while he stared at the floor. “Are you going out there to see Patrick?”

“Absolutely not,” Adam huffed, stepping towards Kris. Grabbing his chin, Adam lifted his head slowly to look at him. “Why would you even be thinking that way?”

Kris shrugged, closing his eyes.

“Don’t shrug it off,” Adam demanded. “Obviously something made you say that.”

Kris opened his eyes and Adam watched as the tears started falling down Kris’s cheeks. “I’m just scared, I guess…sorry.”

“Scared of what?”

Kris shrugged again.

“Scared of what?” Adam repeated, his voice dropping.

“That because I’m s-spending so much time with Brian…that maybe that’d be your w-way of getting back at me.”

“Is that what you really think?” Adam questioned, dropping his hand from Kris’s face and turning his back. Walking over to the bay window, he took a seat and raked a hand through his hair. “If that’s what you really think…then you don’t know me at all.”

Even though Kris’s back was turned to him, Adam could see how uncomfortable his last statement had made Kris. He could read it in Kris’s body language, how subtle the change actually was. Hell, it made him uncomfortable too. But at the same time, if Kris really felt that way then he didn’t know him as well as Adam thought he did.

“Maybe,” Kris whispered without moving a muscle. “We both don’t know each other as well as we thought.”

His voice was shaky and almost inaudible, that for a few seconds Adam thought that maybe he hadn’t heard Kris correctly. But there were no mistaking those words. They cut right through him, making their way to his heart. “Are you serious?”  
Kris nodded.

After a few moments of silence and a few moments to let his heart mend from the damage, Adam started to get pissed. How on earth could Kris even say something like that?

“If you were feeling that way,” Adam replied, stopping for a moment to count silently to ten. He needed to word his feelings carefully, making sure that he didn’t cause more damage. “Then why didn’t you say something earlier? Why are you saying it now? Now that Brian’s back in the picture?”

Kris swung his head around. “This has nothing to do with Brian. It has to do with us.”

Adam’s eyes settled in on Kris’s quickly, boring down. “Are you sure? Because if Brian wasn’t in the picture, you would’ve never asked me if I was going to New York early to see Patrick.”

“How do you know?” Kris quipped, staring right back at Adam.

“Because I wouldn’t be going to New York early,” Adam truthfully said. “And if I was…you’d more than likely be coming with me.”

Kris stood to his feet, defiantly placing his hands on his hips. “How could I be going with you when you _didn’t_ even ask me to go with you?”

Adam shook his head, redirecting his gaze at the wall. What the hell was happening here? This conversation as a whole didn’t start off well, but now it was going down a completely different path. “I haven’t had a chance to ask you yet.”

Kris threw his hands off his hips and waved them in the air. “You’re just saying that now to pacify me.”

Adam stood to his feet and made his way over to his husband. Grabbing Kris by the shoulders, Adam crouched down slightly to look right into his eyes. “No, I’m not just saying that to pacify you. I would love it if you would come with me. I want you to.”

“Really?” Kris asked quietly.

“Yes, really.” Adam smiled at him, standing up straight. Pulling Kris into a hug, Adam whispered in his ear, “Maybe we could use this time away to get to know each other better.”

Adam felt Kris’s body tense, causing him to hold Kris tighter. Adam didn’t want Kris making any attempt at trying to escape his hold. He felt too good to let go and after a week of having no physical contact whatsoever, it was a welcome change.

“I didn’t really mean that,” Kris mumbled into Adam’s chest.

“I know,” Adam reassured him, kissing the top of his head. “Baby…you need to tell me what’s going on with Brian. I know you don’t feel like rehashing everything to me after a long day…but I need to know what’s going on.”

Kris squeezed Adam’s waist tighter, acknowledging to him that he knew Adam was right.

“We leave for New York tomorrow afternoon.” Adam stepped back from Kris and took a seat on the bed. Grabbing Kris’s hands, Adam pulled Kris to him so that he could stand between his legs. “Once we’re there, you’re gonna have to open up to me. We need to sit down and talk this through…everything and anything…it needs to be on the table, so we can both see it and so we can both work through it.”

Kris nodded.

“We have to communicate,” Adam said, encircling Kris’s waist with his arms and pulling him close. “No matter what, baby…throughout this whole thing, we need to make sure that we never stop talking.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Lane paced the floors of the airport terminal at a rapid speed and for the thirty minutes that had passed, Adam couldn’t do anything else but sit there and watch. As much as it was driving him crazy, at least it kept his mind on other things besides the fact that his husband was late and they were due to board the plane in less than twenty minutes.

“Are you sure you gave him the right flight information, Adam?”

“Fuck, Lane,” Adam huffed, giving his friend the evil eye. “Yes, I’m sure I gave him the right flight information.”

Lane stopped pacing. “Why don’t you try calling him on his cell?” she asked, starting right back up with her pacing.

“Why the hell are _you_ pacing, Lane?” Adam asked, annoyed with his friend but more annoyed with his husband who’d left in the morning, declaring that he’d meet him at the airport and had yet to show. “It’s not your husband we’re waiting for.”

“Thanks for reminding me yet again that I haven’t been able to find the right man,” she huffed, dropping to the seat next to Adam. “I guess I’m just worried that he’s gonna miss the flight and if that happens, I know I’m in for a long quiet flight myself.”

Adam’s head slowly turned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what you think it means, Adam,” Lane quipped. “You know damn well that you’ll be in a pissy mood…and consequently, I’ll suffer.”

Ignoring the comment, Adam folded his arms in front of him. “I am not calling him, he knew what time the flight was.”

“Maybe he forgot.”

“I doubt it.”

“Maybe he’s caught up in traffic.”

Adam sighed, rolling his eyes. “Nice try,” he stated dryly.

“Well, where is he then?”

“When he left this morning he took his bags with him and told me he’d meet me here,” Adam replied, shrugging. “My only guess is that someone is holding him up.”

“Who?”

“Brian…who else?”

Only a few more words were spoken before they boarded the flight and all during the flight Adam opted to keep his eyes closed and pretend that he was sleeping. He was pretty sure that Lane knew what he was up to, but being that they had been friends for so long, she didn’t say anything. Most of Adam’s friends knew that when he wasn’t in a good mood, their best bet was to keep their mouths shut and let him deal with his problems the way he always did…in silence.

Dropping the last of his bags on the floor in his New York pad, Adam kicked the door closed. He was exhausted from the flight and from the frustration that wouldn’t stop mounting. He was beyond mad by this point…he was downright pissed. The fact that Kris had missed the flight was merely only the icing on the cake that had been baking for the past week.

The truth of the matter was…he wasn’t nearly as upset about Kris missing the flight as he was about the fact that he wasn’t letting him know what was going on with Brian.

“Hey!” Lane yelled, pushing the door open.

“Oh, sorry, Lane…I forgot you were behind me.” Walking further into the apartment, Adam took a good look around him. “Kris’s right,” he stated, shaking his head. “This place just isn’t me. I think I need to sell it.”

“Suit yourself, buddy,” Lane replied, dropping her bags on the couch. “Are you sure you want me staying here all week?”  
“Might as well,” he replied flatly. “I won’t need the privacy.”

“If you say so.”

It wasn’t the original plan by any means. The original plan was for Lane to stay at a nearby hotel. In turn, Adam would be staying at the apartment with Kris, enjoying the time alone with his husband. Unfortunately, his plans weren’t panning out. He looked back at Lane and pointed to the couch. “The couch pulls out to a bed, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried.”

“Let me make a few phone calls and see what’s going on for tonight.”

“Sure,” Lane said.

Adam walked over to the bed, slipping behind the tri-paneled screen that separated the bedroom from the rest of the studio apartment. Turning his phone on, he noticed that he had one missed call. Retrieving his message, he tried to relax by lying down on the bed while waiting to hear what his husband’s excuse was going to be. He already knew, even before the message kicked in, who it was going to be.

“Adam…honey…hi, listen…I got tied up and before I even realized it, I missed the flight. I’m so sorry, God…I hope you’re not mad. Call me, okay? I’m gonna try and reschedule…maybe I can catch a flight in the morning. Okay? I’m sorry…call me.  
“Whatever,” he mumbled. Punching in Kris’s number, he grew impatient on the fourth ring. _What’s the sense in having a cell phone if you never answer it?_ Once the beep was heard, he cleared his throat and did his best to sound casual. “Hey…it’s me. Listen, if it’s too much bother to try and catch another flight, don’t worry about coming out. I guess I’ll see you in three weeks then…later.”

In a desperate attempt to forget about his problems, he hung up the phone and promptly made three more phone calls. He needed something to do and he needed something to do fast. He needed to get his mind off the problems he was having back home and concentrate on something more productive…a night out.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

As Adam and Lane made their way back into the studio apartment, he tensed right up. Unfortunately for him, he was still sober. As much as he wanted to drown his sorrows with alcohol, he didn’t. It would only make matters worse and that was exactly what he didn’t need.

Over the years, he figured out that while at the time he was drunk he would forget about his problems, by morning his hangover would only accentuate his problems. Something that took him a few years to figure out and luckily, something he hadn’t forgotten. Drinking wasn’t the solution.

The solution was simple…he needed to have a heart-to-heart with his husband.

The outcome was the problem…it may not be the outcome he wanted.

Leaving the main lights off, Adam turned on the lamp by the couch and then took a seat, dropping his head into his hands.

“You’re sitting on my bed,” Lane stated, dropping to the couch as well.

“Yeah…” Adam lingered, slowly lifting his head. “Well, so are you.”

“Only because you are.”

“You want me to get off?”

“Only if you want to.”

Adam sighed while rubbing his eyes, thinking about the night they’d had. What started out as a normal evening sure didn’t end that way. Or maybe it did. It had been a while since he actually went out for a night on the town. Maybe he’d just forgotten how difficult it actually was to try and have a relaxing evening without someone recognizing him.

“Tonight was interesting,” Lane said.

“Yeah…no kidding.” Adam looked over at his friend and raised his eyebrows. “I honestly can’t believe what some men will do when they’ve been drinking.”

“Somehow Adam,” Lane stated, shaking her head and kicking off her shoes. “I don’t think those men needed alcohol to do what they did.”

Adam frowned, thinking back at how the two particular men they were referring to, acted. They were almost to the point of what one would consider prostituting themselves. And that was at the beginning of the entire episode. By the end of the game, they came right out and told Adam that they weren’t looking for money; they were just looking to have a good time.

“I wonder if their partners even realize what goes on when they’re not around.”

Lane’s head swung around. “They had partners?” she asked in a surprised tone.

Adam nodded. “Sure looked that way to me. They both had wedding bands on their fingers.”

“No shit?”

“Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”

Lane acknowledged him with a slight nod.

Adam laughed loudly. “Do you really think they would’ve followed through with what they were saying though?”

Lane laughed right along with him. “Sadly…yes, I think they would have. There’s just something about being with someone famous that intrigues some people. I personally don’t get it.”

“Ah, come on, girl,” Adam whined, smiling while nudging Lane with his elbow. “I don’t believe that for a second. What about James Dean…you’d be with him in a heartbeat if you could, even though he was gay.”

Lane blew out a breath through her nose. “You are no James Dean.”

“Maybe not,” Adam admitted, folding his arms in front of his chest. “But I am _their_ James Dean.”

“You get off on that, don’t you?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes…makes me feel good, I guess.”

“Don’t these men realize that the reality would never live up to the fantasy?”

Adam jabbed his friend in the shoulder. “Hey…are you saying I couldn’t live up to the fantasy?”

“Yeah,” Lane said with a cocky smile. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“How would you know?”

“Ah, come on, Adam…you’re not superman.”

“Says who?”

Lane pointed to herself. “Me.”

Adam laughed, realizing that what his friend said was true. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’d be so damn nervous, it’d probably be over in a minute.”

Both of them erupted in laughter. “I wouldn’t even give you a minute, buddy. I bet you probably wouldn’t be able to even get it up.”

Adam stopped laughing and shot his friend a look. “I’ve never had a problem getting it up in the past.”

“That may be true, but when was the last time you had a one-night stand with a fan?”

“Shit,” Adam moaned, running his hand through his hair. “Not since Kris.”

“My point exactly.”

“Are you saying I’m old?”

“I’m just saying that era of your life is over.” Lane stood up from the couch and walked over to the fridge.

“Be a dear and grab me a beer, would you?” Adam kicked off his shoes and dropped his head back against the back of the couch. “You miss those days?”

“Sometimes.” Lane handed Adam a beer and sat back down. “You miss them?”

“Ah…not really.” He took a swig of his beer and sighed. “They were fun, but after a while, it got old.”

“True…” Lane lingered, sighing dramatically.

Adam laughed, placing his beer down on the end table. They both sat in silence for a few moments before he turned the lamp off. “I’m gonna hit the sack.”

“Sounds good. You’re not setting the alarm, are you?”

“Hell, no.” Adam walked over to the bed, maneuvering his way around the tri-paneled screen. Stubbing his toe on something hard, he stumbled. “Shit.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, bending down and grabbing the offending object. Squinting to see what it was, his heart sank when he realized it was a shoe. A Converse, to be precise. Slowly, he stood up and fixed his gaze on the lump that was settled in his bed. Seeing someone lying in his bed took him completely by surprise. “What the hell?” he mumbled, pulling the covers back.

Resisting the urge to yell at the person who had snuck into his apartment, he hit the light switch on the wall, turning on the disco light.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Kris whispered, sitting up in bed.

“Surprise me?” Adam gasped, lurching his head forward. “You almost gave me a damn heart attack, boy…you’re lucky I didn’t jump on the bed and start swinging at you.”

Lane jumped off the couch. “What’s going on?” she asked, peeking around the screen. “Oh…hi Kris.”

Kris nodded, pulling the sheets up to his chin to hide his nakedness. “Lane.” Kris turned to his husband. “I thought you would be alone,” he whispered quietly.

Silence filled the air between the three of them.

Kris was staring at Adam.

Adam was staring at Kris.

Lane quickly turned around and headed back to the couch. “I’ll just grab my things and get outta here.”

“No, Lane,” Kris quipped. “You’re fine.”

“No, really it’s okay, I’m just gonna head to the hotel down the street.”

Adam stared at his husband in disbelief. “Why didn’t you call me to let me know that you were coming in tonight?”

Kris slowly turned his head towards Adam. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“You should’ve called.”

“Why, Adam?” Kris asked, gripping the sheets tighter. “You don’t like surprises? Or are you just glad now that you didn’t take those two men up on their offer?”

Adam’s mouth dropped at his question. Obviously, Kris’d heard the conversation that had taken place between him and Lane but did he hear it in its entirety? “What? I’m married, Kris…I never would’ve taken them up on their offer.”

“If you miss those days so much, Adam, then why’d you get married?” Kris’s lips were quivering now and if Adam had to guess, he was about to get seriously pissed off. “You wanted to take them up on their offer though, didn’t you?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Adam huffed, throwing the shoe to the floor.

“Okay, guys,” Lane yelled, opening the door to the apartment. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Adam…goodnight.”

“Yeah, Lane,” Adam replied over his shoulder. “I’ll call you.”

Hearing the door close, Adam remained in his position next to the bed. He was astonished at the conversation that was taking place with his husband. Hell, he was just amazed that Kris was even there.

“She didn’t have to go,” Kris whispered.

“Yes, she did…we have some serious talking to do.” He began to pace the floor next to the bed in a desperate attempt to cool down. Kris’d hit a huge nerve with him, assuming that he wanted to sleep with someone other than Kris and he wasn’t about to let the subject drop. “I did not want to take anyone up on any offer…how could you even ask me something like that?”

Kris closed his eyes and let go of the sheets and sighed. “I heard you guys. I heard you say that those days were fun.”

“If you heard me,” Adam added, stopping to stare at Kris. “Then you also heard me say that those days got old and that being with you was more than enough for me.”

“That wasn’t exactly what you said,” Kris retaliated, eyes flying open.

“It’s what I meant, Kris,” Adam shot back, throwing his hands up in the air. “And you know damn well that you are more than enough for me. You also know that I’d never cheat on you too, damnit!” Dropping to the bed, his back was turned to Kris. He took in a deep breath and stared into the space in front of him. “Are you honestly questioning whether or not I’ve been faithful to you?”

When there was no response from his husband, Adam’s head flew back. “Are you?”

Kris dropped his head and slowly shook his head.

“Because quite honestly,” he added, reaching back and lifting Kris’s chin. “I could be asking you the same thing.”

Kris’s head flew up in haste. “What? You think I’ve been unfaithful to you?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you anymore. You’re never home and when you are, you’re never totally there. Add in the fact that you don’t talk to me about what’s going on and I don’t know what to think.”

“So because of all that,” Kris gasped, lurching his head forward. “You’re worried that I’ve been cheating on you?”

Adam’s eyes remained focused on Kris’s. He was not going to back down. “I don’t know…you tell me. Should I be worried?”

“I can’t believe you would _even_ think that!”

Adam shot up from the bed, keeping his back to Kris. “Same goes for you. I thought we knew each other better than this, Kris…but maybe you were right.” He reached for the light switch and threw off the light before heading back towards the couch. “Maybe we don’t know each other as well as we thought.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

  
Adam moaned, grabbing the back of his neck with his hand. He hated sleeping on the couch. He was getting too old for that shit. Not only that, but he hated sleeping on the couch when his husband was only feet away from him in a warm bed. Adding that all up, apart from the fact that this was not the first time he’d had to sleep on the couch in the last week, he was pretty bent out of shape.

Hearing the shower turn on in the bathroom, he sighed. At least Kris was still here in the apartment. That had to be a good sign, right? Trying to block out the sunlight that was coming through the window, he covered his hands with his eyes and flipped to his stomach, burying his face in the couch cushion.

Not even so much as a pillow.

What the hell was happening with them? He felt as if his whole marriage was crumbling down around him and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it but sit there and watch. Or was there?

Adam sat up quickly on the couch as a wave of realization washed over him. There was something he could do about it. He could fight. Fight for the man he loved. Fight like he’d never fought before.

Jumping to his feet, he marched right over to the bathroom and threw the door open. Fully expecting to find his husband in the shower, he jumped back when he saw him clad only in a white sleeveless tank top and his boxers, sitting on the toilet seat cover, bent over with his face in his hands and crying his eyes out. The steam was so thick from the shower that for a minute he had a hard time catching his breath.

He shut the door behind him, walked over to Kris and stood directly in front of him. When Kris finally lifted his head, he wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist. He stepped closer to Kris, allowing him to bury his face into his stomach.

They stood this way for a few minutes, without saying a word.

Slowly, Adam reached down and pulled Kris into a standing position. Taking his arms, he lifted them above Kris’s head and left them there while his hands traveled down Kris’s sides, settling on his stomach. Adam grabbed his tank top and slowly pulled it up, running his hands along the bare skin underneath.

Kris’s eyes settled on his as Adam pulled his tank top up and off. Adam threw his top to the floor and then suddenly found his own arms being lifted above his head. Kris’s eyes stayed focused on his husband’s as he pulled Adam’s shirt up, running his hands along his chest. When it became obvious that he couldn’t reach high enough, Adam took the final step in pulling off his shirt, throwing it to the floor as well.

By this point, the sexual tension between them was apparent to both of them and the steam from the shower only intensified the desire that was gaining momentum.

Dropping his hands to Kris’s neck, Adam pulled his husband in close and slowly brought their lips close. He lingered there for a few moments, increasing the want between them both. And when he finally placed his lips on Kris’s, Kris’s moan was so intense that it almost caused Adam to find his release.

With careful deliberation and crafted expertise, he devoured Kris. His hands settled on the base of Kris’s neck, pulling his hair.  
After several minutes, his hands started making their way down Kris’s back, kneading the skin beneath them. It was hot and raw…and something totally unplanned which made it all the better.

Kris felt good. His body felt like it was on fire. Hot and sweaty…just the way Adam wanted it. Running his fingers along the waistband of Kris’s boxers, Adam’s hand slid in and cupped Kris’s bottom, pulling him closer.

Nothing was better than skin-on-skin contact.

The sounds that were coming out of Kris were driving him to the brink of insanity. They were deep, sexual moans and whimpers that egged him on and almost pushed him over the edge time and time again.

Kris’s hands left the safety of Adam’s neck and traveled down his chest. His fingers circled Adam’s nipples, running gently over them every so often before settling on his back, where he dug his nails in and squeezed with his hands.

The sounds that were coming out of Adam’s lips took him by surprise. They sounded almost identical to the sounds he was making. Together, their moans and groans were so loud that Adam began to wonder if the people in the next apartment over could hear them…and just the thought of someone else listening in made him even harder.

Their lips and tongues were running wild over each other’s faces, only occasionally meeting up to enjoy the warmth.

When Adam finally couldn’t take the torment any longer, he stepped back and quickly removed Kris’s boxers in a few seconds flat. And when he went to pull Kris in close again, Kris stepped back and returned the favor with his. Only, he didn’t come up nearly as fast as what Adam did.

Instead, he lingered down around Adam’s erection, taking it in his hands and slowly bringing it up to his mouth. Adam glanced down and moaned, taking in the sight of his husband on his knees. It was a beautiful sight and for Kris to honestly think that he’d ever want to be with someone else almost made him laugh out loud and ruin the moment.

Kris was the one he wanted…

There would be no substitute for the real thing.

When Kris’s lips wrapped around his length, his hands reached down and fisted Kris’s hair. His deep moans intensified as Kris deep-throated him, only coming up occasionally to catch his breath.

Adam closed his eyes after a few minutes, trying desperately to regain his composure and get control of the situation. But it was too late. He was too far gone. Opening his eyes, he looked down and swore. He knew if continued to watch Kris, it be over in no time flat.  
But as hard as he tried, he just couldn’t look away.

Holding Kris’s head in place, he thrust deep inside his mouth a few last times, before pulling out and finding his own release. He tried his best to keep his eyes open and watch as his husband opened his mouth, taking in some of his ejaculate. His tongue reached out and ran along Adam’s length as he continued to pour some of his seed down Kris’s throat and onto his face.

It was an orgasm that Adam’d never forget and just when he was finally coming back down to earth, he saw Kris run his hands along his cheeks, smearing what was on his face and then licking each finger individually before standing up.

“Oh God…you’re incredible,” Adam moaned, cupping Kris’s bottom. Slowly, he lifted Kris up and placed him on the counter, next to the sink. Spreading his legs, Adam placed one foot on the towel bar and Kris’s other foot over his shoulder. Nothing else was said as he dove straight down to pleasure Kris.

When Kris felt Adam’s breath, he gripped Adam’s hair and pushed his face closer to his hole. It felt like he was trying to push Adam completely in…like he couldn’t get enough of Adam. “Your fingers…” he hoarsely demanded. “I want your fingers.”

Adam brought his hand up and slightly moved out of the way for his fingers and wet them to work along with his tongue. He didn’t even bother with one. Instead, he slid two fingers in and groaned at how easily Kris accommodated him.

It didn’t take Kris long to start bucking his hips as much as he could. He was hard as a rock and desperate to find his own release. Pulling him down off the counter, he groaned to show his disappointment. Adam smiled and turned him around, leaning him over the counter.

His hands immediately reached around to find Kris’s nipples, but it was obvious that it wasn’t what Kris wanted. What he wanted was Adam, inside him…not outside him. And Adam was always one to give his man what he wanted.

Reaching down, his hands slid between Adam’s thighs and easily made their way inside him. Two and then three fingers quickly thrust in and out, while Kris’s own body fell into the same rhythm.

Adam smiled to himself when he noticed his erection growing up and pointing towards Kris’s body. In all his years, he was never able to make a comeback at such a rapid pace, but today…his body didn’t let him down. After all, this was his husband and he didn’t doubt for one minute that his body wouldn’t respond to the sight he was looking at.

Grabbing a condom and a hold of himself, he put it on, squeezed enough lube on and ran his hand along his length for a minute, helping it along. Once he was sure it was hard enough, he pulled Kris back and guided himself inside.

“God…” Kris moaned, throwing his head back and ramming his backside into Adam at an alarming pace and force.

Adam leaned in and reached his hand around, grabbing hold of Kris.

“God…” Kris moaned again, holding completely still. “I am sooo close…”

“What are you waiting for then?” Adam asked.

“I don’t want it to end yet.”

Adam smiled, removing his hand and bringing it back to Kris’s bottom. “No problem…by the time I get done with you, you’ll be begging me.”

“God…” Kris moaned, throwing his head back. “Don’t say things like that or it _will_ be over.”

Watching Kris squirm with desire only intensified Adam’s desire. And every time Kris backed up, Adam pulled back as well, only letting Kris have him full tilt when he wanted. Kris’s moans and noises were all he needed to gauge just how close he was.

Adam let his hands run along Kris’s back, thighs, bottom and chest. The sweat along with the moisture from the shower was adding to the pleasure. His hands would just glide along, stopping only when he deliberately made them stop. It was like Kris’s whole body was lubricated just from him…just because of him.

Occasionally, Adam would drop his head and run his tongue along Kris’s back, making him squirm even more. Nibbling here and there, Kris stood on his tippy toes, arching his back and desperately trying to entice Adam to pound himself into him. Adam would oblige for a few seconds here and there, but not long enough to satisfy Kris. And when Adam noticed Kris’s hand drop to between his legs, he reached down and pulled it back up. “Oh no, you don’t,” Adam said, pulling out of him completely.

Instead of protesting, Kris simply flew around and dropped to his knees, taking Adam into his glorious mouth again.

“Oh…trying to entice me?” Adam asked, closing his eyes and saying a silent prayer.

“Is it working?” Kris asked, running his tongue along the tip.

“Oh…yeah…” Adam barely whispered. After a few moments of Kris’s sweet torture, Adam demanded that he stand back up and turn around.

Kris obeyed quickly. Adam admired that but also knew why he obeyed so quickly…Kris wanted it just as much as he did.  
So Adam gave it to him. Hard.

Feeling Kris tighten around him, Adam found his own release, followed by Kris. There was no way Adam could have held back even if he had wanted to. Kris’s moans were more than he needed.

When their breathing became more stable, he pulled out and went limp against Kris’s back, which caused him to moan loudly in protest of the extra weight. “Oh God…I need to lie down.”

“No kidding,” Adam mumbled back, dropping to the bathroom floor.

“I didn’t mean here,” Kris whispered, letting out a little laugh.

“You go ahead.” Adam closed his eyes and waived Kris away. “I’ll join you in a few.”

Kris reached into the shower and turned it off. “You’d better get up now while you still can…or else you’ll be napping on the cold, tiled floor for the next hour.”

Adam moaned and groaned, rubbing his eyes and pushing his drenched hair out of the way. “Yeah…yeah…I’m coming.”

“Again?”

Adam’s eyes flew open while his lips turned up in a smile. “Very funny…I’m not young enough to try for a third time.”

“You sure?” Kris asked sweetly.

“Positive,” Adam confirmed, reaching down and grabbing hold of himself. Letting his penis go, it dropped back against his body quickly. “Oh yeah…that guy ain’t about to perform any tricks for a while.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

The warmth of the sun and smoothness of Kris’s skin made Adam smile. The spa’s pool was virtually empty, except for a handful of people. For a late Wednesday afternoon it wasn’t unusual that the spa wasn’t crowded.

After a busy three days of sightseeing and shopping, Adam was happy to just be sitting down. Leaning back against the chair, behind his hot husband and relaxing was the perfect way to end a perfect day.

And with only four days left before his busy schedule was to resume, Adam was savoring the moment of just having his husband to himself. In a mere four days, he’d be face to face with his band, and had to try his hardest to work on the last details of his album with the record label. It would be nothing short of a headache and one that he was pretty sure that would last for the entire duration of his stay.

Adam kneaded Kris’s shoulders and neck for a few more minutes before finally calling it quits. Pulling Kris back against his chest, he relaxed. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Kris whispered. “It’s too fancy for me. Reminds me of Cozumel and the moment we met.”

“Me too.”

“That was something,” Kris added, turning his head back slightly and smiling. “Remember when you asked me if I’d thought about sleeping with you?”

“Sure do,” Adam affirmed, smiling back. “And I also remember what your answer was.”

Kris simply smiled and turned back his head.

“Do you still feel the same way?”

“Yes.” Turning his head back around, Kris gazed into Adam’s eyes. “You know that.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, honey,” Kris quietly said, looking at the water. “These last two weeks have been pretty rough and honestly,” Adam trailed, watching as his husband inched his way forward and then turn around to face him. “I don’t know what’s going through your mind.”

“Nothing’s changed,” Kris replied flatly.

“Everything’s changed,” Adam countered sternly. “How can you even say that nothing’s changed?”

“Because it hasn’t.”

Adam shook his head at hearing the words, silently wondering whether or not Kris was just trying to fool him or if he was honestly fooled himself. “What’s going on with Brian?”

Kris’s head dropped quickly.

“I need to know what’s going on.” Adam brought his hand up to Kris’s chin and lifted his head. “I need to know where I stand. This isn’t affecting just you and Brian - it’s affecting me and you.”

“How is it affecting us?”

“Are you serious?” Adam questioned, dropping his hand. “Since the day he walked off that plane it has affected us.”

Kris leaned back. “The only person it’s affecting is Brian. It’s his life that’s been turned upside down.”

“It’s not only his life’s that’s been turned upside down,” Adam replied, trying to keep his cool. Looking directly into Kris’s eyes, he shook his head. “What about _my_ life? Where do I fit into the equation?”

“God, Adam,” Kris moaned, looking away. “This isn’t about you.”

“Stop saying that it isn’t about me…because it is.” Adam took a deep breath. “Have you even told him that you’re married yet?”  
Kris didn’t answer him.

“That’s what I thought,” Adam mumbled. “How did you explain this little vacation to him then?”

Again, Kris refrained from answering him.

“What the hell is going on, Kris?” Adam questioned, sitting up straight. “Does he honestly think that you stopped living for the past three years? Is he that stupid?”

“I don’t know what he thinks, Adam.” Sitting up straight as well, Kris buried his face into his hands. “We don’t talk about it.”

“Then what the hell do you talk about?”

“Everything and anything,” Kris mumbled into his hands.

Adam shook his head in disgust, watching his husband intensely. “Obviously you don’t talk about everything and anything,” he roughly stated. “Because if you did, he’d know that you’re married.”

“I’m afraid to tell him that!” Kris yelled, pulling his face out of his hands. “Okay? I’m afraid to tell him because I’m afraid it’ll set him back.”

Adam moaned loudly, shifting in his seat. “Don’t you think that it’ll be worse the longer you wait? More than likely, it’s going to set him back whenever you decide to tell him. Personally,” he trailed, lowering his voice. “I would think that it’d be better to tell him while he’s still having a hard time coping with all this than waiting until he’s better.”

“You don’t know him like I do though.”

“How well do you even know him anymore, Kris?”

Again, Kris buried his head in his hands.

Taking a moment to think things through clearly, Adam remained quiet for a few minutes. He didn’t want to fight but he also didn’t want to just sit back and remain silent. “Are you ever planning on telling him that you’re married?”

Kris’s head flung up. “Yes, I plan on telling him…when the time is right.”

“And what if the timing is never right?” he asked, standing to his feet. “Then what?”

Kris jumped to his feet and folded his arms in front of him.

“Eventually, he’s gonna find out,” Adam stated evenly. “It isn’t something you can hide forever.”

“No kidding,” Kris huffed, walking away. “Just let me handle it, okay?”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Once they were snuggled in bed, Adam’s mind wandered off. Brian wasn’t mentioned during the entire drive home or during their quick dinner that consisted of hotdogs and potato chips. Neither one was in the mood to dine out, thanks to the conversation spoiler at the spa.

Waiting until he heard Kris’s breaths deepen, he quietly snuck out of bed and made his way to the couch. Turning on the TV, he tried to keep himself occupied by channel surfing.

Even reruns of _The Late Night Show,_ _True Blood_ , _Brothers and Sisters_ and _The Office_ didn’t distract him from his previous thoughts…thoughts that consisted of Kris and Brian and what was happening between them.

Just what was happening there? Would he ever be able to get an honest answer?

Flipping to CNN, he stopped. Scooting to the edge of the couch, his eyes widened. It was a special report on the POW’s. And there amongst them, sat Brian Whitwam. Thanks to the names appearing under each picture, he knew exactly who it was.

He didn’t need to see the name.

He’d recognize him just about anywhere.

The first thing Adam took notice of was the fact that Brian had cleaned himself up. No longer did he look like someone who’d been held against his will for over a decade. His long hair was cut short and the only hair visible on his face was now in the form of a goatee. He looked much better and from what he could remember, Brian almost looked like he had in the wedding photo Adam had seen a while back. The only difference he could see were the dark bags and circles under his eyes that Brian now had.

From the sound of it, it looked like the report was just filmed, within the last couple of days. All survivors were sitting in one room and being interviewed simultaneously. Turning up the volume slightly, his head lurched forward so that he could hear the TV better.  
For over thirty minutes, he sat and watched, waiting to hear what Brian had to say. His nerves were shot, his eyes were killing him and his head was pounding. Was it worth all this aggravation? Just to hear what this guy had to say?

Hell yes, it was.

“So that pretty much leaves me with only one more question then,” the reporter said. “How are you all coping and who is helping you cope?”

Adam listened as the men rambled on about their families, raving about how supportive and wonderful they had all been. And that’s when the guilt started setting in. Maybe he was being too selfish. All of those men looked confused, dazed and stressed, Brian included. And who could blame them? What they all went through was nothing short of a hellish nightmare.

 

“My parents have been wonderful,” Brian stated. “But my husband has been just as supportive, if not more.”  
Adam’s head lurched forward even more. “Husband?” he mumbled, practically choking on his own tongue. Husband?

“Husband?” the reporter asked.

Brian shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I shouldn’t really call him that I guess. He was my husband when this nightmare happened three years ago…”

Adam turned off the TV and threw the remote down. He’d heard enough. Looking towards the bed, he could hear Kris mumbling.  
He jumped to his feet and quickly made his way over to the bed, fully expecting to find Kris having some kind of nightmare. What he saw instead was his husband sitting up in bed and whispering into his cell phone.

Instead of retreating and letting Kris talk in private, Adam sat down on the edge of the bed and listened.

“Okay…fine…I’ll see what I can do, Julianne,” Kris said, staring directly at Adam. “I need to talk it over with Adam first though. I’ll call you in the morning.”

Kris handed the cell phone over to Adam and sighed. Adam placed the cell phone down on the nightstand and turned to face him.  
“What’s going on?”

“How long have you been up watching TV?” Kris questioned.

“Long enough,” Adam shot back; irritated that Kris avoided his question. “What’d Julianne want?”

“She wants me to head home earlier if it’s okay with you.”

Adam stood to his feet and quickly started pacing the floor. “And if it’s not?”

“Adam…” Kris mumbled, using a tone between reprimanding him and consoling him. “Please…apparently CNN interviewed all the survivors and ever since then, Brian’s pretty much locked himself in his room, refusing to talk to anyone or even come out.”  
Adam stopped pacing and walked over to the bed, placing his hands on his hips. “Then tell Bill and Julianne that they need to get their son a goddamn shrink…you’re not qualified to do a shrink’s job.”

“He _is_ seeing a shrink, Adam,” Kris stated with reservation.

“Obviously, he isn’t seeing the shrink often enough.”

Kris lay down on the bed and rolled over, turning his back to Adam. “Fine, I’ll just tell Julianne that I couldn’t change the flight.”

“She’ll know you’re lying.”

Kris rolled over the other way and lifted his head slightly. “Okay then, I’ll tell her that it’s too expensive to change the flight itinerary.”

Adam sat down on the bed and let out a pent-up moan. “That won’t work either and you know it.”

“They don’t know what we can or can’t afford, Adam,” Kris stated clearly, dropping his head back to his pillow.

“God, please…don’t be so naive.” Adam lay down and pulled the covers up and over his face. “They aren’t stupid…they know damn well that we can afford it.”

Kris shot up straight. “Then what would you like me to tell them?”

Adam rolled over, unable to face Kris with the way he felt. He was ashamed of the way he felt. He should've felt sorry for Brian…with what he was going through and what he had gone through, only he didn't.

What happened to Brian was something he couldn’t comprehend, much less imagine. Losing your life and being presumed dead would destroy just about anyone. Throw the love of your life into the middle of it, and Adam was pretty sure any sane man would more than likely go insane. He knew he would. How would he feel if the situation were reversed?

Rolling back over, he pulled the covers off his face. “Tell them you’ll be on the first flight home in the morning.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Walking up to the front door of Kris’s old place, Adam stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. Kris had left that morning and shortly after, he had hopped on a flight and headed back to LA as well. He knew it was crazy, since in three days he’d be back in New York to work on the details with the record label, but at this particular time, what mattered to him most was apologizing to his husband.  
When he drove Kris to the airport that morning, he wouldn’t even speak to Kris. Nor did he even wait at the airport with his husband.  
Instead, Adam simply dropped Kris off at the door, retrieved his bags from the trunk and drove off. It was not something he was proud of either. In fact, he was so ashamed of his behavior that he couldn’t even bear the thought of just calling Kris and apologizing…he wanted to do it in person.

He was letting his emotions take control, instead of taking control of his emotions. He needed to get control. Desperately.

As far as he was concerned, gaining control of the entire situation started with Daniel. Once Brian came back into the picture, Kris had cancelled the closing on the home with the intention of rescheduling it down the road, when things settled down. The way Adam saw it, things were bound to be unsettled for quite some time and opting not to risk the chance of yet another disagreement by bringing up the touchy subject with Kris, Adam decided to take it up with Daniel. The way he saw it…they were down the road.

Besides, if he was lucky, maybe Daniel could shed some light on what was going on between Kris and Brian. Killing two birds with one stone sounded like a good idea to him.

Unfortunately, it was a Thursday and Adam knew the odds weren’t very good at finding someone home. Determined not to let that stop him though, he knocked on the door and waited patiently.

After a few brief moments, he turned to leave just as he heard the front door open. He stopped and stepped back, continuing to wait, watching as a dark-haired figure peeked around the door. “Kris…is that you?”

Kris stepped around the door quickly, catching his jeans on the edge of the door. Looking down, he reached for his jeans, yanking on them continuously until they were torn and finally free. Leaning in, his eyes grew as he returned his attention towards Adam. “What are you doing here?”

“You okay?” Adam asked, looking at Kris’s torn jeans. “Kind of impatient there, don’t you think?”

He bit his bottom lip and lowered his voice even more. “You’re supposed to be in New York.”

“Decided to head back for a few days,” Adam whispered back. “Why are we whispering anyway?” Laughing, he winked at Kris and smiled. “I was actually on my way home and decided to stop by and say hi to Daniel.” He opened the screen door and stepped into the house. “What’re you doing here?”

Kris’s mouth twitched. “He’s not home,” he whispered yet again.

“Doesn’t matter,” he stated, pulling Kris into his arms. “I flew home because I wanted to apologize and what’s with the whispering?”  
Kris’s body tensed. “Apologize?”

“For the way I acted at the airport. It was uncalled for and I’m sorry,” Adam whispered in Kris’s ear. “Why are you so tense?” he asked, running his hands up and down Kris’s arms.

Quickly, Kris stepped back and pointed to the door. “Thanks for stopping by. I’ll let Daniel know and we’ll talk about…” he trailed, stopping when he heard his name being called from somewhere behind him.

“I thought you said Daniel wasn’t home,” Adam stated, looking around Kris and towards the kitchen.

“He’s not,” Kris replied hastily. “Go…please just go,” he pleaded.

In that instant, Adam knew exactly why Kris was pleading with him to go. There could only be one reason. Stepping towards Kris, Adam looked deep into his husband’s eyes. “What’s he doing here? I thought he was in seclusion.”

“Go…please Adam,’” Kris pleaded quietly again, placing his hand over his heart. “Please.”

“WHO IS IT, KRIS?”

Kris’s head flew back over his shoulder. “A friend of Daniel’s!” he yelled back to Brian.

When Kris looked back towards his husband, Adam stifled the gasp that wanted to escape. Kris’s eyes were indescribable; his face white as a ghost. Adam’d never seen him so scared in all the time that they’d known each other. He looked downright mortified.

“I’ll go,” Adam said softly, not wanting to upset Kris any further. Leaning over, Adam kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be at home.”

“HEY!”

Adam stopped short of stepping onto the porch and let the screen door close. Turning around slowly, he took a deep breath and did his best to smile. Noticing that Brian had his hand extended out to him, he held out his also. “Hi…you must be Brian.” Without hesitation, his eyes traveled over to his husband who was now looking completely and utterly sick to his stomach. “Well, tell Daniel that I stopped by.”

“He should be back in a few minutes,” Brian stated, sweeping his hand towards the couch. “Just hang out and wait…he just had to run and drop something off at work.” Walking towards the couch, he stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry…I didn’t catch your name.”  
Adam’s eyes darted over to his husband. He shrugged and mouthed a silent “sorry” before making his way behind Brian. He couldn’t just up and leave now. It wouldn’t look good. It didn’t help matters either that he was just a slight bit interested in checking out the man that had his husband’s heart for so long. “Adam Lambert.”

“Adam, I take it you already know Kris then?” Brian questioned, taking a seat on the couch.

Kris stepped into the conversation quickly by taking a seat next to Brian. “Oh yeah…Adam and I go way back…he’s been a friend of Daniel’s for a couple of years now.”

Adam took a seat in the chair next to the couch and listened as his husband nervously explained how he and Daniel knew each other. It was obvious how nervous Kris was by the sound of his voice and by the lengths he went at to cover his lies. His knee-jerk reaction by going into such detail was exactly what most people did when they lied. Kris was talking way too much and several times, Adam tried to interrupt him with no luck. If Kris wasn’t careful, he was going to blow it.

Brian’s eyes widened before he finally cleared his throat. “Did you want something to drink, Adam?”

Adam’s head lifted slightly, his throat dry. “Yeah…anything would be fine, thanks.”

Brian turned to Kris. “Could you grab us two beers, honey?”

Honey? Adam held back the emotion that was making its way to the top just by hearing Brian refer to Kris as _honey_. “Sit down, Kris,” he said. “I’ll get the beers.”

Brian placed his hand on Adam’s arm to stop him. “Nonsense…Kris doesn’t mind getting them, do you, honey?”

Adam’s heart took a dive hearing the term of endearment again.

“Oh, never mind,” Brian said, standing to his feet. “I’ll get the beers.”

When he cleared the room and was out of audible range, Adam turned his head to Kris. “He’s living here?”

Kris nodded.

“What in hell for? What happened to his parent’s place?”

Kris’s head slowly turned to him. “It’s his house, Adam.”

Adam scooted up on the chair and stretched his neck. “Is his name still on the documents?” he whispered sternly.

Kris lowered his voice and looked over his shoulder. “Of course not.”

“Then it’s not his house.” Adam sat back in his seat, dropping his head back against the chair and blowing out a long breath. So much for rescheduling the closing, there probably wouldn’t be a closing. Grabbing his head with both hands, he rubbed it, hoping to rub away all his problems. When that didn’t work, he opted just to leave. To hell with what did or didn’t look good, he couldn’t take the pressure.

Standing to his feet, he glanced down at Kris. “I’m gonna get going,” he stated before heading towards the door and running smack dab into Daniel who was trying to get in the house.

Daniel let go of the screen door and stopped in front of Adam. “Hey, Adam,” he said, kicking off his shoes. “What’s going on?”

“Oh…there you are, Daniel,” Brian said, walking back into the room with two beers. “Adam just stopped by see you.”

“Me?” Daniel questioned while pointing to himself. Laughing, he made his way into the room, grabbing a beer out of Brian’s hand and pointing to Kris. “I think you mean he stopped by to see his husband.”

Adam’s eyes flew open.

Kris’s head jerked up.

Brian’s head swung over to Kris.

Daniel gulped down a swig of beer and took a seat next to his brother.

“Isn’t that right, bro?” Daniel kidded, slugging Kris in the arm.

“Actually,” Adam said calmly, trying to jump right past what was just said. “I did stop by to say hi. It’s been a while since I’d seen you and I just happened to be in the neighborhood.” He cringed at the sound of his own voice. Even he could tell that he’d never win an Oscar with a performance like that. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Brian dropping to the couch. It was obvious by the look on his face that he’d heard Daniel’s comment. Deciding to bow out rather than risk a confrontation, Adam opened the screen door. “I’m gonna get going.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were married?” Brian stated quietly. “For that matter, why the hell didn’t anyone tell me?”

Adam froze after hearing Brian’s question. He didn’t know what to do. Should he leave? Should he stay?

“Shit,” Daniel said. “I thought you’d already told him Kris.”

“He didn’t,” Brian spat. “Evidently, no one’s had the balls to say anything.”

Adam turned around and looked at his husband. He was standing up in front of the couch, completely still with his gaze directed towards the floor. Coming to his defense, Adam turned to Brian. “He didn’t say anything because he was afraid of what’d it do to you.”  
Brian stood to his feet. “When _were_ you gonna say something?”

Adam’s eyes darted back to Kris. He simply shrugged at Brian’s question and dropped his head again.

“Were you ever gonna tell me, Kris? Or were you gonna let me look like an ass forever?!”

His tone was demeaning, throwing Adam into defense mode. Taking a step towards them, he shook his head repeatedly. “Hey…wait a minute…”

“No, you wait a minute,” Brian interjected, waiving his hand in the air. “Let _your husband_ answer my question.”

Again, Adam’s eyes darted back to his husband. He literally had to bite his bottom lip to keep from lashing out at Brian. He knew if he started though, he’d end up saying something he’d regret, causing more problems.

Kris lifted his head slowly, his eyes were wide and from what Adam could see, there were a few tears on the verge of trickling down his cheeks. “We just got married in November,” he whispered.

“You didn’t answer my question!”

Adam took another step forward. “You don’t need to raise your voice to him, Brian.”

Daniel jumped up from the couch, eyeing everyone. “Everybody needs to calm down.”

Brian’s head flew around. “Don’t tell me to calm down. I don’t need to calm down. What I need is for my husband to tell me when the hell he was going to get around to telling me about _him_!” he spat, pointing at Adam.

Adam let go of his bottom lip. He wasn’t about to let that statement go without saying something. No way, no how. “He’s not your husband any more, Brian,” Adam stated slowly, never letting his stare wander.

Brian’s head slowly turned towards him. “I don’t seem to recall getting a fucking divorce, Adam,” he growled. “It is _Adam_ , right? Or was that a lie too, Kris?”

That about did it.

Adam quickly pulled out his wallet and yanked out the piece of paper he’d written some important information on. He was glad now that he hadn’t waited to do the research like he wanted to do. Unfolding the piece of paper, he cleared his throat loudly. “Remarriage after decree of presumed death…even though the absentee spouse declared to be presumed dead is in fact alive, the remarriage of the spouse who has obtained a license to marry and a decree of presumed death of the former spouse shall be valid for all purposes as though the former marriage had been terminated by divorce.”

The room fell eerily silent as Adam refolded his paper and stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans.

“And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Brian inquired, stepping closer to Kris.

Daniel shrugged, turning to Brian slowly. “Sounds like you are divorced, buddy, whether you like it or not.”

Adam waited for Brian to hit Daniel. He knew he would have. It was a ballsy move on Daniel’s part, but a move he appreciated because it was the truth. Brian and Kris were no longer legally married. Period.

“I waited for you for years, Brian,” Kris said quietly, refusing to look up.

Hearing the words his husband whispered, Adam moved closer to Kris and drew him into his arms. He was hurting. Brian was hurting. Kris was hurting. Everyone was hurting.

“Obviously,” Brian said, turning back around to face him. “You didn’t wait long enough.”

Adam’s mouth dropped open as he stepped away from Kris and braced himself for a fight. “Are you serious?”

Brian swung his head around and shot Adam a dirty look.

“No one in his right mind would expect someone to wait forever,” Adam huffed, running his hand through his hair. “But then again, you’re not in your right mind, are you? For Christ’s sake, he thought you were _dead_.” His head jerked back. “You should be honored it took him as long as it did to move on with his life.”

Kris put his hand on Adam’s back. “Honey…you should go.”

“Yeah, Adam,” Brian added. “He’s right, you should go. I need to talk to him privately.”

Adam’s entire body became rigid with anger, tensing as the seconds passed by. “I’m not going anywhere. I leave when my husband leaves.”

“Adam…please…” Kris whispered.

He swung around quickly. “I am not about to let him try and guilt you into feeling bad that you moved on with your life and fell in love. You don’t need that.” He grabbed Kris’s hand and pulled his husband next to him. “And you and I know damn well that if I go, that’s what he’s gonna do.”

“Fine,” Kris said, removing his hand from Adam’s hold. “Let’s go.”

“You’re leaving?” Brian questioned, walking towards Kris. “We need to talk.”

“You’re done talking for now, Brian.” Adam watched as his husband grabbed his bag and walked to the front door. He waited until they stepped outside before glancing over his shoulder. “When you decide to grow up and act like a man, you can call Kris.”

“I’m not about to give up on him Adam,” Brian retaliated. “He loved me once.”

Adam froze with his hand on the door. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and blew it out. “You’d better be prepared for the fight of your life then, because I’m not giving him up without a fight.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Adam carried his bags to the truck as Kris watched from the window. He watched Adam’s every move, taking it all in and placing it in his memory. It would be two weeks before he would see Adam again. And as much as he wanted to go with his husband, he couldn’t. His conscience wouldn’t allow it.

Even though he hadn’t spoke to Brian since the afternoon that his marriage became a known fact, he knew it wouldn’t be long before either he called Brian or Brian called him. And Kris needed to be available for Brian when that time came.

Neither Adam nor Kris had spoken about Brian during the four days following the confrontation, but Kris knew it was always on Adam’s mind. It was obvious in Adam’s actions alone; never mind the fact that every word that came out of Adam’s mouth was carefully thought out before ever leaving his lips.

They were both on edge.

Not the edge of ecstasy either. Adam never tried to have any physical contact with him at all, not once during the last four days. And Kris was too afraid to make any moves. He was afraid of being rejected. He knew the pressure Adam was under…between his career and Brian, Adam’s nerves were just about shot.

When Adam started towards the front door, Kris jumped up and walked over to the mirror on the dresser. Quickly, he pulled his shirt over his shoulder, leaving nothing on but a tank top.

He froze. How sexy was a tank top? Even with exposing his arms and neck, it still wasn’t sexy. _‘Dammit…it looked sexy on Brian Kinney in Queer as Folk…’_

“Crap,” he mumbled, yanking the top up roughly.

“What’re you doing?”

Kris froze again, the tank top half off and covering his face. “Nothing…why?”

“You going somewhere?”

“No,” he said, still frozen.

Adam laughed, taking steps towards him. Kris could hear Adam’s keys clanking together with every step he took. “Well, don’t let me stop you from undressing.”

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Kris sighed. If Adam were going to reject him, at least his tank top would hide the embarrassment on his face. “Do you have time for a quickie?”

Adam’s hands slid around Kris’s waist, pulling him closer. “What?”

“You heard me,” Kris mumbled quietly.

“It sounded like you just asked me if I had time for a quickie.”

“I did.”

Kris heard Adam laugh quietly, his hands rubbing Kris’s exposed tummy. “I have approximately fifteen minutes,” he said into Kris’s covered ear. “Is that enough time?”

Kris nodded.

“Is that a yes? It’s hard to tell with your head covered.”

“Yes,” he answered softly.

“You want this top on or off?” Adam’s voice was deep and husky, making Kris tremble. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you even realize how sexy you are?” Kris asked, feeling Adam’s hands make their way to his chest.

“Well,” Adam whispered, he stopped his hands before they touched Kris’s nipples and slowly let them trail to Kris’s back. “I was voted _People’s Sexiest Pop Star_ back in the day.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“I don’t know,” Adam said, slowly moving his hands around to the front of Kris’s body again. “You tell me.”

Kris wanted to kiss him, desperately. Yanking off his tank top, he smiled at Adam. “You…”

Adam held his finger to his lips, flashing Kris a wicked smile. “Shut up and kiss me,” he moaned. “We only have twelve minutes left.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Kris rolled over on the bed to watch his husband pull his jeans up. “You’d better hurry,” he whispered, looking at the clock on the nightstand. “We took an extra ten minutes.”

Adam smiled at him while zipping up his jeans. “If I miss my flight…at least it was for a good reason.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to the airport?”

“Positive,” Adam said, throwing his t-shirt back on. “Take a nap, it’s well deserved.”

Kris smiled, a feeling of renewed closeness washing over him. It was the first time in a long time that he’d felt content and at peace and knowing that it wouldn’t last, made him desperate to try and cling on to it. “The information you had on that piece of paper in your back pocket,” he mumbled, “About whether or not my prior marriage was still valid…where’d you get it from?”

Adam sat down on the bed and ran his hand over Kris’s head. “Internet.”

“Was it a legitimate site?”

Adam’s head slowly turned towards Kris. “I think I would consider any government-run web sites pretty legitimate,” he replied flatly, watching Kris’s every move. “Were you hoping it wasn’t?”

Kris shook his head. “Absolutely not.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” Kris said tersely. “Why would you even ask me that? I just wanted to make sure that it was on the up and up and wasn’t something you made up.”

Adam stood up from the bed, blowing out a frustrated breath. “I didn’t make anything up.” Leaning down, he placed a kiss on Kris’s forehead. “I’ll call.”

“Stop worrying, honey,” Kris said, grabbing Adam’s hand from his head. “You will do fine at your meetings…just don’t give in to them.”

“It’s not the meetings I’m worried about,” Adam said, standing up straight. Adam walked to the bedroom door and stopped, turning back to blow Kris a kiss. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too.”

Kris rolled back over and sighed loudly once he heard the front door close behind him. He was going to miss Adam. Hell, he already did and Adam wasn’t even out of the driveway yet.

Jumping to his feet, he walked over to the window and stepped between the blinds, pushing them aside. He banged on the window hard. When Adam finally turned around, he mouthed, “I love you” and blew Adam a kiss.

Adam smiled, shaking his head at the sight of his naked husband. Adam mouthed the same words back to Kris and jumped in the car, honking as he drove out of the driveway.

Slowly, Kris let the blinds fall back into place, letting out a deep breath. He should’ve just gone with Adam. It’s what he really wanted to do, but Brian was holding him back. Hearing the phone ring, he started to laugh. Grabbing the phone, he smiled. “Miss me already?”

“Kris, dear…is that you?”

His heart sank at the realization that it wasn’t his husband, but Julianne. “Hi, Julianne.”

“Kris…dear…there’s been an accident. Brian’s in the hospital.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Katy pushed open the door to Brian’s sterile hospital room in haste. Not only was she concerned with what was going on with her friend; she was slightly agitated with the phone call she’d received right before leaving the house. Making her way into the room, she quickly put a halt to saying what she’d originally planned after noticing that Kris was sleeping on the chair next to Brian’s bed.

She stopped and stared for a few moments at the scene. She couldn’t help but wonder what was going on between the two of them when she noticed Kris’s hand resting on Brian’s.

She walked up to her friend and tapped him on the shoulder, dropping the bag she’d brought along to the floor. Maybe wondering wasn’t the answer. Getting Kris to open up and talk was the answer.

Kris rubbed his eyes and sat up straight in the chair, bringing his hands together in his lap. When he focused on Katy, she gave him a slight smile. “Thanks for coming,” he whispered.

Katy nodded, pointing to the bag on the floor. “I just grabbed a pair of Cale’s pants and a shirt.”

“That’s fine, thanks.”

“We need to talk,” Katy whispered, motioning towards the door. “In private.”

Kris looked over to Brian and lingered for a moment before returning her attention to her friend. “He’s asleep, let’s just talk here.”

Katy frowned, shaking her head and pointing again towards the hallway. “No…out there.”

Kris rose from the chair slowly, letting out a deep moan. “Fine.”

Katy had questions; questions she wanted answered and questions Adam wanted answered. And she was determined not to leave without them. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure Kris was following her, she took in her friend’s appearance. Kris looked tired, worn out and depressed.

It was a look that was all too familiar.

Once they were out the door, she continued walking down the hall and towards the waiting room before Kris finally said anything. “Katy, I don’t want to go too far.”

Katy stopped and turned around. “If they need you, they’ll come and find you.”

Kris’s shoulders dropped, looking defeated. “All right.”

It didn’t take long before they were both seated in the waiting room, just blankly staring at each other. Doing her best to smile, Katy tried to push the visual image of her friend out of her mind. If she didn’t, she knew she’d end up breaking down. She knew the path Kris was headed down all too well. She’d seen him head down it once before and more than anything, she didn’t want to see him do it again. It would be emotional suicide and something she was sure her friend couldn’t handle again. “Okay…what’s going on?”

“I told you on the phone already…Brian tried to commit suicide.”

“Not that,” Katy huffed. “What’re you doing here still? It’s been _three_ days already. Why aren’t you going home and getting some rest? You said yourself that Brian’s gonna be released after a few more days of observation and therapy.”

Kris frowned, showing her discomfort. “And when he’s released, I’ll go home as well.”

“You don’t need to be here 24/7. They have nurses for that.”

Kris closed her eyes, dropping her head. “I’m the reason he’s in here,” he said quietly. “I can’t just leave.”

Katy grabbed his hand, gently rubbing the top of it with her other hand. “You are not the reason he’s in here,” she sighed, trying to reason with him. Adam warned her that it wasn’t going to be easy and already she could see that. “He’s in here because he can’t cope with reality. And the reality is you’re married to a wonderful man who loves you more than anything.” She squeezed her hand tightly. “This is killing him, you know.”

Kris’s head swung up. “How do you know?”

“Because, honey,” she trailed, letting her friend’s hand go. “He called me right after you did. He hasn’t heard from you since he left and he was worried sick. Apparently, he’s left quite a few messages that you haven’t returned.” Shaking her head, she searched Kris’s face for any sign that might clue her in as to what was going on in his head. “Why haven’t you called him to tell him what’s going on?”

Kris’s face froze in horror. “You didn’t tell him about Brian, did you?”

“Of course I did,” Katy stated. “I wasn’t about to lie to him. As it is, he wants to stop this thing they’re doing and come home.”

Kris’s eyes widened. “Oh God…he can’t do that. He’ll piss everyone off.”

Katy rubbed her forehead and did her best to relax in the chair, dropping her head back. “And cramp your plans right?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But you were thinking it, weren’t you?”

Kris’s head fell again. “He won’t understand.”

“ _I_ don’t understand.”

“He needs me.”

“ _Adam_ needs you.”

Kris lowered her voice, leaning forward. “And Adam will make me choose.”

Katy’s head shot up from the back of the chair. “That shouldn’t even be a choice for you. Your husband should be your number-one priority.”

“Just like Cale was yours?”

“That was a low blow,” Katy said through a clenched jaw, fighting back the tears. “A really low blow.”

Kris’s hand reached out, landing on Katy’s thigh. “I know, I’m sorry…but you guys don’t understand.”

“You’re right…I don’t understand,” she replied, shaking her head. “You quit the job you loved in order to be able to travel and be with your husband.” Katy’s hand flew up, waving across the room. “Yet you’re here and he’s…God knows where today.”

Kris stood up from his chair, grinding his hands into his hips. “I didn’t ask for this to happen, okay? But I can’t just ignore it now that it _has_ happened…I can’t just walk away.” He sighed. “My God…he was my husband, Katy…he was my first love and he’s been through hell. How can I just walk away from that?”

“I don’t know,” Katy answered honestly, grabbing her friend’s arm and forcing him to sit back down. “But you don’t have a choice but to walk away. You have to let him work through this on his own. You’re not married to him anymore.”

“He’ll kill himself,” Kris whispered. “He’s already tried.”

“Listen, Kris,” she said quietly. “You know that I like Brian…I always have…but what happened a couple days ago should be a wake-up call to you.” Sighing loudly, she stopped for a minute to carefully think out her next words. “Brian’s a smart man. The pills he took probably weren’t worth the water he swallowed them down with and he knew that. If he really wanted to kill himself, he would’ve used a sure-proof method.”

Kris gasped, turning his head towards Katy. “Are you saying that this was a hoax?”

“What I think it was, was his way of making sure you stick around.”

“I can’t believe you,” Kris huffed, making a face while shaking his head rapidly from side to side. “He’s been through hell.”

“I know he has and I don’t deny the fact that he needs some major help,” she replied with a quiet voice. “But you’re not the one that needs to help. He needs a professional.”

“God,” Kris moaned, standing to his feet again. “Is this what Adam thinks?”

Katy stood to her feet, pulling her friend into a hug. “What Adam thinks right now, is that he’s losing his husband, the man he loves more than life itself and from where he stands, there isn’t a hell of a lot he can do about it. How can he compete with someone who’s willing to go out on a limb and hurt himself just to get your attention?”

Kris pulled out of the hug, shoving Katy aside. “He didn’t do this for my attention!”

“Yes, he did, Kris.”

“He did this because he’s confused, hurt and not thinking straight.”

“Can’t you see what is happening here?” Katy turned to leave, shaking her head. There was no use in arguing about it. “He’s got you right where he wants you. And I’m sure it’d please him no end to know that you’re defending him right now.”

Kris grabbed Katy’s arm, making her stop. “He doesn’t have a hidden agenda, Katy…he’s not like that.” He blew out a breath and shrugged. “You remember what he was like, don’t you? He wouldn’t do something like that…he just wouldn’t.”

“People change, Kris,” she whispered. “You should know that better than anyone. It took you years and finding Adam to realize that…but you changed too.”

Kris dropped his hold on Katy’s arm.

“Don’t forget that,” Katy pleaded. “Adam was the one that made you feel alive again. You only knew that man for a couple days and you were head over heels and planning your wedding. Even with Brian, it didn’t happen that fast.”

“I know that, okay?” Kris shot back. “I love Adam…this isn’t about my relationship with Adam. He knows that I love him.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Why?” Kris moaned, grabbing his friend’s arm again. “Did he say something to you?”

Katy shook her head. He didn’t come out and actually say those words to her…but she could read into what he did say.

“I keep telling him that this isn’t about us, because it isn’t. It’s about Brian and helping him get up to speed so that he can move on with his life.”

“And you’re okay with him moving on without you?” Katy questioned with sadness. “Because I honestly don’t think that you’ll be okay with it.” Shrugging, she walked out and left Kris standing there.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Kris finished changing his clothes in the bathroom and then made his way back to Brian’s bedside. His mind was reeling with everything that Katy had said to him. How on earth could anyone think that Brian would try and commit suicide just to get his attention? He already had Kris’s attention. It didn’t make any sense and he didn’t believe it, not for one second.

Taking a seat, his arm reached out and swept across Brian’s arm. “You awake?”

“Barely,” he said, turning his head to Kris. “Where were you?”

Kris sighed. “Katy stopped by to bring me some fresh clothes and we went to the cafeteria for a coffee.”

“Oh,” Brian said quietly. “I thought maybe you might’ve gone home.”

Kris shook his head slightly. “There’s nothing to go home to.”

Brian’s head rose slightly off the pillow. “Adam left you?”

Kris continued to shake his head, noticing the slight smile on Brian’s face. “No, but he had business to take care of. He’ll be gone for the next two weeks.”

Brian’s head fell back against the pillow. “What’s he do for a living that he’d be gone for two weeks at a time?”

Staring at him, Kris pondered whether or not to come out with the truth. How would he react to hearing that Adam was famous? “Well…” he trailed hesitantly. “He’s a musician and he is out there right now working on his album.”

“Mmmm, I see.” Brian hit the remote TV buttons on the side of his bed and pointed towards the television hanging from the wall. “What’s good tonight? Anything?”

That was easy. Brian didn’t even ask him to elaborate. Kris looked up at the TV and shrugged. “I really don’t watch a lot of television. Not much worth looking at nowadays.”

Channel surfing, Brian bolted up into a sitting position. “Oh my God…is that Prince William?”

Kris couldn’t help but start to laugh. “Yes, it was his wedding today.”

“What the fuck happened to his hair?”

“Be nice…you used to think he was hot.”

Kris relaxed in the chair while they continued to watch the special in silence. His mind was a million miles away, somewhere else. He didn’t care about the royal wedding, so he just tuned it out and replayed the whole conversation he had with Katy over and over.

Would he be okay with Brian moving on with his life without him? He was pretty sure he would be, but at the same time...he couldn't be absolutely positive.

Slowly, his eyes darted over to Brian. He still couldn’t believe that Brian was alive, there and in the flesh. It was almost too much to comprehend. But at the same time, he was alive, there and in the flesh. And there was no way the man he used to call husband, would ever try something as serious as suicide to get his attention. No way.

“Is that Harry?” Brian questioned, raising his head off the pillow again. “Wow! He looks ugly!”

“Would you be nice?” Kris shot back. “Beauty is skin deep, Brian…the inside is what matters, right?”

Brian’s head dropped. Letting it fall to the side, he stared at Kris without saying anything for a while. “Is that what attracted you to Adam?” he questioned, raising his eyebrows. “No offense or anything…but he isn’t your type. You used to hate make-up on guys.”

Kris was resting his head on the back of the rocking chair. Slowly, he let it roll to face Brian. He loved Adam’s makeup. “I guess I don’t hate it anymore.”

“I guess not,” Brian huffed, running his hand through his hair. “Maybe I should wear make-up too then.”

Before Kris could respond, Julianne and Bill made their way through the doors with carryout bags in hand. “Hi, Kris,” Julianne said, making her way to him. “Brian…honey…how are you doing?”

“Fine, mom,” Brian replied, looking to his dad. “Hey, dad.”

“Hello, you two.”

“We thought you two might be hungry for something other than hospital food so we brought you your favorite,” Julianne said, handing a bag to Kris. “Honey…you need to head home and get some rest. You looked exhausted.”

Kris tried his best to smile. “Actually…I’m planning on heading home in a little bit.”

“Good…but first you need to eat before you fade away to nothing,” Julianne said, placing a kiss on her son’s cheek. “And you…has the doctor told you when you’re gonna be released?”

“The day after tomorrow,” Brian replied quietly. “With the agreement that I’m to stay with you and see my therapist that they’ve assigned to my case every day.” He raked his hand through his short hair and looked over at Kris. “They’ve also recommended that I attend group therapy sessions with other military personnel who’ve been through trying ordeals.”

Kris shifted in his chair. Brian’s stare was making him uncomfortable.

“They also said that it would be a good idea if I had someone come along with me to the group therapy sessions,” Brian continued, still staring his way. “Kris…I would really like it if you could go to those with me. They only meet three times a week.”

 _Only_ three times? Immediately, his thoughts drifted to Adam and what his reaction would be to him accompanying Brian. He wouldn’t like it one bit. Kris already knew that. Smiling to cover his discomfort, he noticed Julianne looking at him now. “Well…”

“Please,” Brian pleaded. “I don’t want to push you into it or anything, but I’ve thought it over and having you with me makes the most sense. Maybe, it would be beneficial to you as well.” Brian reached out and motioned for Kris’s hand. “Maybe it could help both of us deal with everything’s that happened.”

Kris bit his bottom lip, fidgeting while everyone’s eyes were on him. His hand went up to meet Brian’s. Bill and Julianne were counting on him, he could tell. Brian was counting on him too. “Sure,” he said without complete conviction that it was the right thing to do. “Anything to help.”

Bill sat down on the window ledge seat and sighed. “That’d be great…we want nothing more than to see you two happy and healthy.”

“Will you be able to go with work?” Brian asked, pulling his hand away and grabbing the control to move his bed into an upright position. “I’m pretty sure they have both afternoon and evening sessions available.”

Kris closed his eyes and sighed. Evening sessions were going to be out of the question if he was going to try and keep this from Adam. Which…he’d already decided in the short time that he was definitely going to do. “Morning would be better,” he replied. “Definitely morning.”

“What about work though?”

Kris shifted in his chair again. “I don’t work anymore Brian. I quit a couple months ago.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Kris slammed the front door closed and immediately turned on the light. The house felt cold and lonely. He felt cold and lonely. He was also uptight and tired. During the entire dinner at the hospital, Brian bombarded him with question after question after question about why he would quit his job.

After a tense fifteen minutes of Brian’s badgering, Kris finally relented and told him the truth. He quit because he wanted to be with Adam and the only way for that to happen was for Kris to quit his job…at least for a while.

With that, Brian went ballistic, cursing Adam left and right. That’s when his parents stepped out of the room and that’s when Kris lost his cool as well. Within ten minutes of his rebuttal, he was filling Brian in on exactly what Adam did and why it wouldn’t work any other way than for him to quit his job.

Kris thought that that would shut Brian up. But just the contrary, it only made matters worse. Brian couldn’t understand why Kris would allow Adam’s career to dictate his own career and again. It started another round of questions to which Kris finally decided to call it a night and head home.

Brian didn’t understand. And Kris couldn’t make him understand. So when he finally left, he told Brian that it was a subject that he wasn’t to bring up again or else he wouldn’t attend the group therapy sessions with him.

Period.

Walking over to the refrigerator, he opened the door and jumped when he heard the phone ring. It was well past eleven o’clock. It could only be one person.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Adam said. “It’s about damn time that you answered the phone.”

“Sorry,” he responded quietly, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “I’ve been meaning to call you back.”

“Then why haven’t you?”

Kris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Adam already knew the situation. “I’ve been at the hospital with Brian.”

Adam didn’t say anything. Not a single word. And Kris knew exactly why he was being so quiet too…he was planning out the phrasing of his next words ever so carefully, like he had already been doing on several occasions with Kris. Adam might have thought that Kris didn’t notice, but he did, every single time.

“How’s he doing?”

Surprised, Kris quickly started stumbling for words. He hadn’t expected that. What he expected was for Adam to start laying into him about how Brian did this for his attention. After all, that’s what Katy did. “Um…um…he’s doing okay. He’ll be leaving the hospital…” Kris trailed, glancing over at the clock. It was past midnight. “Tomorrow.”

Again, there was silence. Silence that made Kris uneasy with anticipation of what was to come next.

“I see,” Adam stated dryly.

Okay, this was starting to put Kris on edge waiting for the other shoe to drop. There was going to be another shoe, right?

“I would appreciate it the next time something like this happens, that you call me and tell me yourself,” Adam said in a cool tone. “I didn’t appreciate finding this out from Katy.”

“I understand,” Kris replied meekly. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t call you myself, but I’ve been at the hospital ever since Julianne called me.”  
When he heard Adam groan, Kris immediately regretted saying what he had. Maybe Adam wasn’t aware that he had been at the hospital continually.

“So I’ve heard.”

Okay, Adam was aware of it. Kris swallowed hard, closing his eyes. “So, how’s everything going with you? Are the meetings all going okay?”

“I guess,” Adam replied casually.

Kris took a deep breath and sighed. The conversation wasn’t going too well. Closing his eyes again, he covered them with his free hand and leaned his elbow on the table. “Listen, honey…I know you think the same thing Katy does about Brian and this attempt at suicide of his.”  
Stopping for a second, Kris waited to hear if Adam was about to try and say anything. When he was sure that Adam wasn’t, he took another deep breath. “But he didn’t do it for my attention…he did it because he’s mentally unstable right now. And after everything he’s been through, is it any surprise?”

Adam cleared his throat, but remained quiet.

“I know you think that I’m spending too much time with him and you probably don’t like it, but I don’t know what else to do. He needs me right now.”

“Let me ask you something,” Adam stated, blowing out a held in breath. “If the situation were reversed and I was spending every waking moment with Patrick…how would you feel?”

What? Kris’s head flew up at hearing his uncalled for question. “You can’t even compare it to that. This is totally different. You hate Patrick.”

“Whoa…wait a minute,” he responded sharply. “Whoever said I hated him? Not me.”

Kris moaned, showing his discomfort. “Okay, so maybe you never said that, but I pretty much thought it was implied.”

“Well, I’m sorry if I gave you that impression, because I don’t hate him…not at all.” There were a few seconds there where Adam didn’t say anything, except for the occasional sigh. Clearing his throat rather loudly, he continued, “Despite our relationship turning to shit, he isn’t someone I hate. In fact, except for the occasional person here or there, I don’t hate anyone.”

“Except Brian,” Kris grunted.

“I don’t even know Brian,” Adam grumbled. “Don’t be putting words into my mouth.”

Kris looked at the clock again and sighed. If he didn’t put an end to this conversation soon, it was going to turn ugly and they’d end up fighting. “I should probably go.”

“You never answered my question,” Adam stated sternly.

Kris moaned. “God,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t like it, Adam but there’s special circumstances here. I didn’t ask for this to happen, okay? You and Katy act like this is something I asked for and it isn’t.” Kris took in a deep breath, “How can I just turn my back on him now? If it weren’t for my trip to Cozumel and us meeting…” he trailed, quickly stopping mid-sentence before he went too far.

“If it weren’t for us getting together then you’d be with him again?” Adam moaned into the phone. “Is that what you were going to say?”

Kris didn’t know what he was going to say. But, he was pretty sure that Adam’d pretty much nailed it on the head, “Probably, yes.”

“I’ve gotta go,” Adam said tersely. “Unless there’s a problem here, I won’t be calling. Chances are, you won’t be around anyway. I guess I’ll see you when I get back.”

Kris’s heart felt like it was breaking in two and crying as well. He knew he was hurting Adam. He knew he was hurting Brian. And he damn well knew he was hurting himself, but he didn’t know how to make it all stop. “I do love you.”

“Goodnight.”

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

True to his word, Adam didn’t call Kris for the remainder of the two weeks that he was in New York. He desperately wanted to, but he refused to. If there was one thing he was, he was always consistent with what he said and always followed through. He’d make a good parent one day. He had all the perfect qualities for being the perfect father and raising the perfect child.

There was only one small problem though…he was not a _father_ and Kris was not a _child_.

Reaching for the doorknob, he was surprised to find it unlocked. Pushing it open, he mumbled under his breath, “You need to stop trusting everyone, Kris and start locking the damn door.”

Slowly, he lifted up two of his bags and tossed them inside. Reaching for the bag, he lifted it up and tossed it inside and right on Kris’s foot, which he noticed after letting it go.

“What’re you doing home already?” Kris questioned, stepping back and bringing his left foot up. Rubbing his foot, he frowned. “Ouch…what’s so heavy in that bag of yours?”

“Nice to see you too,” Adam mumbled, grabbing his pillow. Stepping into the house, he kicked the door shut with his foot. “I was due home today,” he said curtly, dropping his remaining items to the floor. “Did you forget?”

“Must have,” Kris replied quietly, dropping his foot the ground. Slowly, he walked over to Adam and placed his arms around Adam’s waist, rising to his toes. He placed a kiss on Adam’s lips and smiled. “I’m glad you’re home.”

Adam made no attempt at returning the gesture of the kiss. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t. During the remainder of his trip, he had too much time on his hands at night. He made use of the time by doing the only thing a thirty-something-year-old man on the verge of losing his husband to his former husband would do…

He called his mother.

Leila’s words of wisdom rung through his mind, _“Give him time to adjust and heal. By forcing him to make a decision to choose, you’ll be pushing him into the arms of Brian. You need to trust Kris and let him do what he needs to do. He loves you, Adam, you know that, but he needs to work through this on his own. Don’t ask him questions about it. Maybe what you need to do, honey, is just keep your distance for now and let things play out on their own. Things always have a way of working themselves out. You should know that better than anyone.”_

“I’m glad too,” he said, guarded. Pulling out of Kris’s embrace, he walked past him and straight into the kitchen. “Any important calls while I was gone?”

Kris walked into the kitchen at a snail’s pace, causing Adam to turn around and wait for him to make his entrance. And when he did, the sight of actually seeing Kris, really seeing him for the first time since he’d walked in, almost made him cry.

Kris looked beautiful, as always, but there was something different about him. It didn’t have anything to do with the way he was dressed though, because he was simply wearing a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt, something Adam’d seen on him before. It didn’t have anything to do with his hair either. But there was something different.

Adam’s eyes traveled down and back up the length of Kris until his eyes made their way to Kris’s eyes. No longer did they look happy or content, the way they had. No longer were they easy to read, like they always had been. Instead, there were dark circles and bags, a glossy film sheathing the once brown brilliance of them.

Kris looked physically exhausted.

“Nope,” Kris stated clearly. “Not one single phone call for you while you were gone. Evidently, everyone has your cell number.”

“Unfortunately, you’re probably right.”

“So how did the rest of your meetings go?”

Adam opened the door to the fridge and crouched down to look through the contents. Grabbing a bottled water, he stood back up and shut the door, turning to his husband. “Fine.”

Kris offered him a weak smile. “That’s good.” Walking over to the kitchen table, he sat down. “Did you finish recording?”

Adam took another swig of water before placing it down on the counter and leaning over. “Yes.”

Kris looked over at him. “Now what’s the next step?”

Adam was having a hard time concentrating on Kris’s questions. He was too caught up in Kris’s outward appearance. Kris didn’t look well at all. “I don’t know yet, Kris…when I know, I’ll let you know.”

Jumping up from his chair, Kris pushed it in to the table. “Excuse me for asking, Adam. You’ll have to forgive me, but I don’t know how this business of yours works.” Turning around, he ground his fists into his hips. “This is my first time at being married to a musician.”  
Where the hell did that just come from? The tone of Kris’s voice caused Adam to rethink his mother’s advice. Of course, his mother’s advice didn’t really include for him to blow Kris off per se. Nor did her advice entail being snippy towards his husband, but being snippy was exactly what he wanted to do. “I know,” he said quietly, walking towards Kris. “I’m sorry but I’m just a little on edge right now. This happens every time I’m recording an album.”

“Does everyone in your band get this way?” Kris asked, holding his head up high. “Or are you the only one?”

“Honestly?” Adam questioned, stifling his laughter at Kris’s stance. “You’d have to ask them, but…” Adam trailed, nodding his head. “I’m pretty sure I get a lot more uptight then they do.”

“Well, it’s not becoming on you at all,” Kris said bravely, refusing to be intimidated by Adam’s intense stare.

“It probably would’ve helped if you were with me during these last few weeks,” Adam confessed, pulling out a chair and taking a seat. “You could’ve taken my mind off it by just being there.”

Kris turned around and placed his hands on the top of the chair, sighing. “We’re not going to rehash this again, are we?”

“Only if you want to.”

Adam’s eyes never left Kris’s during their three-minute silent standoff. Adam focused on Kris’s eyes intently, trying to read into them and see what he was thinking and feeling. At one time, he was able to do that. Sadly, he couldn’t do that at all now. Instead, all he saw was how tired Kris looked.

“I really don’t want to,” Kris finally added as an afterthought. “I need to get going.”

“Do I even want to ask?”

Kris shrugged. “Ask if you want to. I’m not gonna lie about where I’m going.”

Adam didn’t need to ask. He already knew the answer. He shrugged, his lips pursed together tightly. “Nope, don’t think I really want to do that. Are you going to be home for dinner?”

Kris brought his arm up to his face and looked at his watch. “I should be. The sessions only last for two hours. It’s two o’clock now so I should be home around six.”

Sessions? More than one? He did his best to act unnerved, but wasn’t sure if it worked or not. “Are you seeing a therapist now too?”

Kris started to walk away but stopped without turning around. “I thought you didn’t want to ask.”

Adam sighed, closing his eyes. “Changed my mind.”

“I’m not seeing a therapist myself if that’s what you mean. Although, the thought has crossed my mind on occasion.”

Adam’s eyes flew open. “Then what’s stopping you? Maybe seeing someone and being able to talk about the way you feel would help.”

Slowly, Kris turned around. “If I don’t leave now, I’ll be late.”

Adam waved his hand towards the door. “Wouldn’t want to keep Brian waiting now, would we?” Standing up, he made his way to the fridge again for a beer. Water just wasn’t cutting it. “Give him my best.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

   
Adam looked at the clock above the fireplace again, frowning when he’d realized that it had barely moved since the last time he’d looked. It was nearing nine o’clock and there wasn’t any sign of his husband. “Listen, Katy,” he said into the phone. “I should probably let you go. I don’t want Kris walking in and asking me who I’m talking to.”

“Then lie,” Katy said firmly. “Just tell Kris that it’s one of your friends or something.”

“Lying isn’t going to help the situation,” he scolded. “That’ll only cause more problems.”

“Listen, Adam, you and I both know that Kris loves you. And despite what’s going on right now, he knows that too.” She took in a deep breath and sighed. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He might be trying to tell himself something different right now, but he never looked at Brian that way. Even when they were first married he didn’t look as happy as he did when you came over to him and asked him to dance on that first night in the nightclub back in Cozumel.”

Adam smiled, remembering back.

“I’m dead serious too,” she continued. “That’s when I knew that he was going to finally get on with his life - just by the way he looked at you. He loved you then, after only just meeting you and he loves you now…don’t forget that.”

“I’m trying not to,” Adam responded with sadness. “But it’s getting increasingly more difficult as the days go by.”

Katy sighed, moaning quietly. “Don’t give up on him yet.”

Adam heard the front door start to open and quickly jumped up from the couch. Holding the phone close to his mouth, he covered it with his hand to whisper. “Listen…I gotta go…he’s home.”

“Remember what I said.”

Throwing the phone down on the couch, he made his way over to the TV and acted like he was just turning it on. Walking back to the couch, his head glanced towards the front door when he heard it close. “Oh…I didn’t even hear you.”

Kris smiled, dropping his bag to the floor. “I’m gonna head to bed, I’m exhausted.”

Adam stopped dead in his tracks and lurched his head forward. “Already?” He pointed to the kitchen. “I thought maybe you’d be hungry so I kept the oven on.”

Kris stopped and wrinkled his nose. “What’d you make?”

Adam’s eyebrows rose. “Salisbury Steak dinner.”

Wrinkling his nose even tighter, Kris cocked his head to the side. “The frozen kind?”

Adam nodded.

“No thanks,” Kris replied, turning on his heels. “I ate those practically every night you were gone.”

 _Give him time to adjust and heal._ “No problem,” Adam replied casually, remembering back to what his mother said. He sat down on the couch, refusing to look at Kris. Flipping through the channels one by one, he sensed that Kris hadn’t left the room. Turning his head slightly, he noticed his husband still standing there in the foyer…with tears running down his cheeks.

Adam resisted the urge to jump up and go to Kris. That wasn’t what Kris needed. More than anything, what Kris probably needed was to just cry it out. Maybe crying it out would help lead to figuring it out. Adam shifted his body on the couch so that he was turned more towards Kris. Trying his best to smile, he pointed to the empty spot next to him on the couch. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I’m n-not s-supposed to,” Kris cried out hysterically.

Adam’s body tensed. “Says who?”

“B-Brian and the therapist.”

Adam’s mind was trying to take in the complexity of the situation; trying to grasp what was happening. Before responding to anything though, he silently thought it out. He didn’t want to say anything that Kris would construe as negative, even though it was negative. “If you want to talk about it, I wouldn’t worry about what Brian or the therapist says. They don’t have to know, it’ll just be between us.”  
Kris leaned back against the wall, dropping his head towards the floor. Both hands immediately rose to his face, rubbing and then eventually covering his eyes. “I’m s-so confused. I don’t know what to say anymore or w-what to do. S-someone always ends up mad.”

“I’m not mad,” Adam stated firmly, rising to his feet. Placing both hands in his pockets, he stood next to the couch facing Kris, refusing to step closer until he knew that was what Kris wanted. “Do you know how hard it is to see the one you love hurting so much? Because it is…I can tell how bad this is tearing you up and more than anything, I want to be able to help you. But I can’t…you need to do this on your own.”

With his hands still covering his eyes, Kris started crying even harder. “I wish you could just m-make this all g-go away. I want to go back to the w-way we were.”

It was killing Adam to stand still. He wanted to go to Kris and sweep him up, carry him into the bedroom and make love to him. Maybe loving Kris would make the hurt go away. Maybe loving Kris would make his hurt go away. One thing that was for sure, standing still was definitely not making anything go away. “We can’t…things will never be the way they were.” And how true those words were. “I want that more than anything to but it isn’t possible and you know that.”

Slowly, Kris uncovered his eyes and raised his head. “He makes me feel s-so guilty.”

Adam’s hand shot up to his forehead, sliding its way down to his eyes, pinching them together. Hearing it come from Kris’s lips just confirmed what he had always suspected. He didn’t actually know what was going on behind closed doors, but he speculated. And obviously, his speculations were dead on. “Guilty because you got on with your life?”

“Yes,” Kris said quietly, nodding.

Instantly, Adam’s head started to pound. What he wanted to say and what he was going to actually say would have to be two different things. He was going to try his best to refrain from saying negative things. “Please don’t let him do that to you,” he said slowly and quietly. “You shouldn’t feel guilty because you finally let yourself love again.”

Kris’s head turned slightly towards the fireplace, staring off into the empty space in front of him. “I’ve been going with him to group therapy sessions three times a week and tonight, I decided that maybe I should be seeing someone too.” Kris’s eyes darted back to Adam. “That’s why I was so late. I stayed after and had some one-on-one with the therapist. I’m going to do that every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.” Nodding, he shrugged. “That’s when the group therapy sessions are.”

“Maybe seeing the group therapist for you, personally, isn’t a wise move,” Adam stated carefully. “If you want, I could get the names of some really good therapists in the area. I would feel more comfortable with you seeing someone else.”

Kris shrugged. “Whatever…until you get that set up though, I’m gonna continue seeing this guy, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Adam didn’t like it. Not one bit. “That’s fine.”

Kris crossed his arms and rubbed his hands along his shoulders, resting his lips against the top of his hand. “I really just want you to hold me right now,” he whimpered, staring towards the bedroom door down the hall.

That was the sign Adam was looking for and not to worry, he read it loud and clear. Taking the necessary steps forward to reach Kris, he smiled. Holding Kris ranked right up there with making love. At this point, it may have been even higher; it was hard to say since Adam hadn’t had the opportunity to do either one for a while.

“I really want you to make love to me tonight too,” Kris whispered, looking towards Adam. “But I don’t want to feel guilty about it after.”  
When Adam finally reached Kris, he stood there for a moment and searched his husband’s eyes. The hurt, the confusion, the uncertainty of everything was clearly evident. Bending down, he swooped Kris up in one single movement. Kris’s arms flew around Adam’s neck while he buried his face in Adam’s neck.

“You don’t need to feel guilty about being with your husband, Kris,” Adam said quietly. “If anything, maybe it’ll help the hurt go away for a little while.”

Slowly, he carried Kris into the bedroom where he placed him down on the bed, then laid down beside him. He took his hand and ran it along Kris’s cheek. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”

Kris’s eyes opened. “I love you, you know that, right?” Closing his eyes again, he lowered his voice even more, “God…please tell me you know that.”

Adam stared at Kris, running his thumb along the outline of the dark circles underneath his eyes. “Yes, I know you love me and I know you love Brian too. I know that your love isn’t the same for both of us and I respect that.”

Kris’s eyes flew open.

“And I’m afraid of what this is going to do to you…being pulled in different directions. Just remember something.” Adam leaned over and brought his mouth to Kris’s ear. “I love you more than anything and I will _always_ be here for you. Do you understand that?”

He waited until Kris nodded before he continued. “And no matter what happens, I will always be here for you.”

With every intention of taking it slow, Adam placed a warm, tender kiss on Kris’s lips. It was only a second before Kris’s mouth tenderly opened for him, allowing his tongue to probe deeper….


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Crawling out of bed at a snail’s pace, Adam made sure Kris was sound asleep by calling out his name a few times. He wanted to make sure that Kris didn't wake up while he was in the middle of trying to sneak out of the house.

Making his way into the kitchen, he shuffled through the junk drawers in search of his spare car keys. There was no way he was going to head back into the bedroom to retrieve the set from his pocket. No way in hell. That’d be too risky.

By the time he was on the third drawer, he was frantic and somewhat perturbed at how the junk drawers had grown from one to three since Kris moved in. “Why is it that you think even important things belong in the junk drawer, boy?” he mumbled with a smile.

Pulling on a folder that was stuck towards the back of the drawer, he swore repeatedly until the folder was free. “No wonder we have so many junk drawers now…throw shit that isn’t important anymore away.” Opening the folder in his hands, he stopped almost as quickly as he started.

It was the adoption papers they had filled out a while back. Kris was supposed to deliver them to the office.

Retaining his cool until he was sure of what he saw, Adam put the folder on the countertop and started reading. Once he was sure of what was in front of him, Adam flew off the handle and pulled the entire drawer completely out before slamming it down on the countertop.

His frustration mounted as the seconds ticked by. They had agreed to start a family. But by the looks of the folder he was staring at, his husband had changed his mind.

Without telling him.

“Damnit,” he mumbled, turning the drawer over and letting the contents spill out onto the countertop. Finally locating the spare keys, he grabbed them and made his way to the garage.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

The twelve-minute drive to Daniel’s passed quickly, thanks to the radio blaring through the speakers. Heavy metal music did wonders for putting the mind at ease. Or did it? Without haste, he pulled into the driveway and slammed the car into _park_.

Adam slammed the door so hard that the car shook from side to side. To say he was mad was putting it mildly. He was pissed beyond belief and he was pretty sure that the heavy metal music didn’t ease anything, if anything it made him tenser.

In five long strides, he made it to the front door where he immediately began to pound. He continued to pound non-stop, harder and harder, until Daniel threw the door open.

“Jesus, Adam.”

“Where is he?” he demanded, pushing his way past Daniel. “Where the hell is Brian?”

“Calm down, man,” Daniel replied, closing the front door. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to talk to Brian.” When he noticed that his brother-in-law made no attempt to point him in the right direction, Adam lunged his head forward. “NOW!”

Daniel stepped back. “He’s staying at his parents’ house. Why? Is something wrong with my brother?”

Adam shook his head in disgust. “Oh…you mean besides the fact that Brian returned from the dead? No…absolutely nothing.” Turning to leave, he stopped. “Where’s his parents’ house?”

Daniel took a second before answering, looking Adam over carefully. “You got a gun or something?”

He let out a frustrated laugh. “I’m pissed, not stupid.”

“You sure?”

“Where’s the house, Daniel?” Adam questioned, walking towards him. “I don’t have all night.”

Daniel shrugged. “No clue. They moved a couple of years ago and…”

Adam pushed past him and threw open the door. “Thanks for the help.” Running to the car, he stopped before opening the door in order to catch his breath. His heart was pounding so fast that he was sure he’d have a heart attack if he didn’t calm down.

He shook his head. _A gun? A fuckin’ gun? Do I look like a murderer?_

He stepped up and into the car, immediately grabbing his cell phone and hitting speed dial. “Katy…hi…it’s Adam.”

“Adam?” She cleared her throat. “Is something wrong with Kris?”

He sighed, flipping his head back to get the hair out of his face. “I don’t have time to run through the list. Can you tell me how to get to Bill and Julianne’s house?”

“Why?”

“I need to talk to their son,” Adam stated dryly.

There was a long pause, followed by a loud groan. “Do you think that’s such a good idea? It’s almost midnight.”

“Probably not,” he moaned, glancing at the clock. “But I don’t care.”

Katy sighed loudly into the phone. “Okay, take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on.”

Adam pounded the steering wheel; his frustration was getting the best of him and if he didn’t watch it, Katy would be at the receiving end of it. “Just tell me how to get to where I need to go.”

“All right, hang on and let me grab my address book,” she replied hesitantly. “I still think you’re making a mistake though.”

He rolled his eyes and blew out a breath. “I’ll note that in my memoirs,” he shot back sarcastically, pulling out the driveway.  
She huffed into the phone, “I’m sure you will, smart ass. Hang on.”

Adam took out his map and plopped it on the seat. He didn’t care how far he had to drive; he was going there come hell or high water. He was going to put a stop to this guilt trip Brian was laying on Kris. He had too.

He hadn’t realized to what extent this guilt trip went until just a few hours prior, when he attempted to make love to his husband. At first, Kris was okay with everything but the closer that they had actually gotten to making love, the more unsure of everything Kris became until he just completely shut down and burst into tears.

It was gut-wrenching for Adam to lie there and listen as his husband sobbed about how guilty he felt about everything and the longer Adam lay in bed, the more upset he became.

“Well, you’re in luck,” Katy returned to the phone.

“Why’s that?”

“It’s only about a thirty-minute drive from where you are now.”

Adam let out a little groan. “I’m not at home.”

“Well, where are you then?”

“Daniel’s.”

“Okay,” she quipped. “Then it’s a forty-five minute drive. What in hell are you doing at Daniel’s anyway?”

He sighed, gripping the steering wheel tighter. He was going to blow. He could feel it. “Looking for Brian.”

“Is Kris with you?”

“Don’t you think that if my husband was with me I’d just ask him for directions?”

Katy growled like a dog ready to attack. “You better watch it, buddy. Rock star or not, I’ll hang up on your ass.”

Hearing the tone in her voice, Adam smiled. “Sorry,” he said quietly, releasing his grip on the steering wheel. She was right. “No, Kris is not with me. He’s at home, hopefully still asleep and in lala land. He’s depressed and feels guilty because he feels like he’s letting Brian down if he even so much as kisses me and now I’m gonna go and set his sorry ass straight.”

It was silent for a few moments and Adam started to wonder if she was even on the other end of the line. “Hey, you there?”

“What you just said doesn’t make me feel any better by giving you his whereabouts.”

“Well,” Adam trailed, laughing. “It’ll make me feel better…now spill it.”

Again, there was silence.

“Come on, Katy,” he whined. “Please.”

“Does Kris even know what you’re up to? Because if he doesn’t, he’s gonna be pissed when he finds out.”

“He isn’t going to find out,” he stated firmly. At least, he’d better not or there’d be hell to pay and Adam knew it.

“Yeah…why don’t I believe that? Adam what’s going on?”

He pulled over to the side of the road and rolled down his window for fresh air. “Honestly, it’s hard to say because Kris won’t talk about it. But tonight he told me that Brian makes him feel guilty because he moved on with his life and while I don’t really want to go into details or anything…tonight, while we were _snuggling_ together in bed, he totally shut down and just started crying.”

“I knew it!” she exclaimed. “I just knew he was pulling that shit on Kris. He’s got guilt written all over that pretty face of his.”

Adam leaned his head on the steering wheel, fighting the urge to scream. “Have you seen him lately?”

“Not since the hospital, why?”

“He looks like hell,” Adam groaned, rubbing his eyes. “And don’t tell him I said that…but seriously, he looks like he’s about to have a nervous breakdown or something.”

“Shit,” Katy mumbled. “Have you talked to him about seeing someone yet?”

“Yeah,” he replied, sitting up straight. “He’s actually started to see the group therapist on a personal level, I guess, but I’m not comfortable with that.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“I’m gonna check into finding someone else for him. He needs to have someone who has an unbiased opinion of the whole thing.” He took a deep breath and looked out the window. “And quite frankly, this group therapist in my opinion, is gonna see things Brian’s way, no matter what.”

“Listen, Adam, I’ll give you the address…but, you have to promise to control yourself when you get here. What Kris definitely d _oesn’t_ need is to bail his hubby out of jail in the morning for assault.”

He smiled. “Promise.”

“And I’ll see what I can do about maybe taking Kris out to lunch tomorrow.”

“Thanks Katy.”

“Adam?”

“Yeah.”

Katy blew out a long breath. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you’ve got to be strong and hang in there for Kris. _You_ are the one he loves, there’s no question in my mind about that. You can’t give up fighting.”

Adam knew what she was saying was true, but at the same time, he also knew that he couldn’t and wouldn’t fight a losing battle. “I’m not going to stop fighting for us, but if and when the time comes that I’m the only one fighting…”

“Don’t even say it,” Katy interrupted. “That’s not going to happen.”

“I really hope it doesn’t,” he stated, closing his eyes. “Because I don’t know what I would do without him…he’s everything to me.”  
“You’re going to make me cry,” she bellyached. “Stop it.”

Adam managed a little laugh through his own tears. “I already am crying, because I don’t have as much faith as you do about where this is headed.”

Katy gave him the address, pleading with him not to take things too far. “I’m g-gonna hang up now…be good and call _me_ if you end up in jail, not Kris.”

“Go back to bed, thanks.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

The first thing Adam noticed was the lack of street lights. Not a single streetlight was present down the broken-up road, not even so much as a porch light was visible.

Darkness filled the already dark and gloomy night and it gave him an even eerier feeling than he already had.

He drove slow, straining his eyes to read the numbers on the mailboxes. He knew he was getting close when he checked the address. When his cell phone rang, he nearly jumped out of his skin. “Shit, Katy,” he mumbled while reaching for the phone. “Yeah?”

“Adam? Where are you?”

Adam’s heart sank upon hearing the sound of his husband’s voice.

“Adam?” Kris repeated in a desperate voice.

He cleared his throat trying to remain calm. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he replied, not believing a single word. “What’re you doing up?”

Adam heard him sigh loudly and cringed. Kris wasn’t supposed to wake up. That wasn’t in his plan. “I couldn’t sleep. Why didn’t you wake me up before you left? I didn’t know where you were.”

Adam pulled over to the side of the road and put the car in _park_. “I’m sorry…I thought you could use the sleep.” When he heard Kris blow his nose, his heart sank even further. “Are you crying?”

“Yeah,” Kris barely mumbled between blows. “I was scared when I couldn’t find you.”

Adam rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know you didn’t. I’m just a little emotional.”

Moving his hand away from his eyes, Adam looked out the window and settled on the mailbox a few feet from him. _Bingo!_

“Where are you?”

Adam swallowed hard in a desperate attempt to mask the lie he was about to spit out.

“Adam?”

“Yeah, yeah…I’m shopping.”

“Shopping?” Kris exclaimed. “Now? At this hour?”

 _Crap…_ “I woke up hungry and the fridge was pretty scarce so I ran out to get a few things.”

“God, honey,” Kris moaned. “You couldn’t wait until morning?”

Adam hated lying, but there was no other choice except to come clean and face the wrath and that really wasn’t a choice at this point. “It’s easier for me to shop during the middle of the night,” he said quietly. “Better chance of going unrecognized.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll be home shortly, go back to sleep.”

“Since when do you mind being recognized?”

Adam blew out a long breath. Did Kris know he was lying? It sure sounded like it. “Sometimes it’s just nice to be able to go to the store and not have everyone critiquing my every move or worse yet, critiquing every item I put into the cart, you know?”

He heard Kris yawn. “I guess.”

“Go back to bed, Kris,” he pleaded for more than one reason. “You sound exhausted.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I’m here now so I’m going to let you go.” There, now that really wasn’t a lie. He was where he’d set out to go. It just wasn’t the grocery store.

“Okay…could you pick up some more string cheese while you’re there? I just ate the last one.”

Adam smiled and then quickly frowned when he realized that he’d have to actually stop at the grocery store. Just what he didn’t want to do. “Sure, no problem.”

“Drive safe.”

“Always…good night.”

Adam quickly flipped the phone close and put his car in _drive_ , turning down the poorly lit driveway. Once he was assured that he wasn’t going to hit anything that might’ve been in the path, he turned off his lights and continued towards the garage.

From what he could tell, the house was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a regular two-storey home, buried deep inside a nicely wooded yard. Not too big and not too small. It was just right…the perfect home.

Perfect.

Trying not to let his thoughts get the better of him, he placed the car in _park_ and jumped out. This was not about the perfect home. This was about Brian trying to destroy _his_ perfect home.

He walked up the path leading to the front door and quickly noticed from where he stood, that there weren’t any lights on in the house.  
Was he doing the right thing?

It may have not been the right thing, but it was the only thing he could think of to make things right. This was about Kris and his health, his sanity and their marriage. He had to do this.

Taking the step onto the porch, he stood completely still for a moment to catch his breath and gather his thoughts. At least he was calmer than he had been when he reached Daniel’s place. That had to be a good thing.

He stepped up to the door and raised his hand to knock when he noticed the doorbell off to his left.

Knock or ring?

Ring or knock?

Completing his first reaction, he brought his fist down on the steel door and knocked. If that didn’t work then he’d ring the doorbell. He knocked again when he didn’t receive any response. This time, it was much louder. He wanted to try and avoid the doorbell at all costs.

When the porch light popped on, his heart sped up. There was no backing out now.

Slowly, the front door creaked open and a confused face peered around the corner. Evidently, the confusion didn’t last long because quickly after that, the front door swung open. “I was wondering how long it was going to take you to finally pay me a visit.”

Adam’s first reaction was to flip him off. Luckily, he went with his second reaction, a smart-ass retaliation. “Guess you can stop straining the brain by wondering, Brian…I’m here.”

“And it’s late,” Brian mumbled, stepping around the door to stand directly in front of him. “You could’ve at least had the decency out of respect for my elderly parents to come at a decent hour.”

Adam’s gaze didn’t falter. “Your parents aren’t that old, Brian.” He pointed towards the wooden bench on the porch. “If you’re that worried about it, we can handle this outside.”

Brian’s eyes increasingly became smaller as the seconds ticked by. “Give me a minute to put some pants on.”

“By all means.” Adam took a seat on the bench and waited. And waited. And waited.

He waited for nearly ten minutes and with each additional minute that ticked by, the more frustrated he became. When Brian finally stepped outside, he jumped to his feet in anger. If this man wanted to play games by stalling, he’d better watch out. Playing games was something every celebrity was good at, including him.

“Boy, you’re awfully jumpy there, Adam. Is something bothering you?”

Adam turned around slowly to face Brian. He did his best to maintain his composure, but he was already aware of his seams coming unglued. “You need to back off Kris,” he said, through a clenched jaw. “He feels like he’s under a lot of pressure and with the guilt trip you’re laying on him, it’s only making matters worse.”

Brian stood there defiantly, not moving a muscle. “And he’s told you this?”

“To a certain extent, yes.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“And why the hell not?”

Brian stood his ground, still not moving. “Because that doesn’t sound like something Kris would say.”

“You don’t even know him anymore, Brian,” Adam spat, running a hand through his hair. “He’s not the same person he was three years ago.”

“And how the hell do you know that, Adam? You have nothing to compare it to. You didn’t even know him then.” Brian’s hands flew up in the air. “Hell, you didn’t even know him one year ago.”

Adam wasn’t about to let his words rattle him, no matter how true they were. “People change, Brian. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.”

Brian’s hands flew to his hips. “I’m not laying any type of guilt trip on him. If he’s feeling guilty, Adam, then something’s obviously eating at him.”

“Just back off and let him work this out on his own.” Adam held back his urge to yell. It was what he really wanted to do, but knew that it would only cause more problems. “There’s no reason why he needs to go with you to your therapy sessions. You’re the one who needs help.”

“He’s the one who insisted on coming with me. I’m not forcing him to go.” Brian ran a hand over his hair and blew out a breath. “Obviously, he wants to be there or else he wouldn’t be.”

“You’re so full of shit.” Adam shook his head in disbelief. “He told me you asked him to go to those therapy sessions with him. He’s _my_ husband, in case you haven’t noticed and, despite what you may or may not want to believe, we do talk.”

Brian’s stance straightened. “He was my husband first, buddy.”

“Fuck,” Adam huffed, turning his back. “You don’t get it, do you?” Taking a deep breath, he flew back around. “This isn’t about who had him first. It’s not a contest. It’s about him as a human being and what’s happening to him. If we’re not careful, we’ll both lose him.”

Brian’s lips turned up in a slow smile.

Adam’s face dropped. “Don’t even fucking say that’s what you want to happen.”

Brian shrugged. “At least you won’t have him.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me? I thought you cared about him.”

“I do care about him, but if I can’t have him, I don’t want you having him either.”

Adam’s jaw tightened. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough to know that what he doesn’t need is a barbaric husband who cares more himself and his career than him.”

Adam’s body jerked, immediately becoming tense. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Ah, come on, Adam,” Brian chirped, smiling. “You know damn well that’s the truth. You didn’t care about his job and how he struggled through four years of college so that he could be where he is now.” He shook his head and frowned. “If you cared, you never would’ve let him quit his job.”

“It was his choice, Brian,” Adam replied neutrally.

“But you didn’t stop him, did you?”

“How do you know whether or not I didn’t try and stop him?” Adam barked back. “You weren’t even there.”

Brian’s lips turned up. “He told me how much it killed him to leave his job but that he felt he had no choice, since you’re always traveling.”

Adam’s mind was reeling. What the hell was happening here and why wasn’t he the one that Kris told?

“Look, Adam,” Brian quipped, pacing the porch. “I don’t care who you are, how much money you make or how you make it. The bottom line is Kris. I didn’t ask to be a POW for the last couple of years of my life, okay? And I sure as hell didn’t want to put Kris through what he’s been through for the past three years either, but we didn’t have a choice.” He took a few steps towards Adam and stopped. “All I know is that up until six months ago, my husband was still pining away for me. He never even looked at another man until you came along and if it hadn’t been for you, he’d be in my arms right now and in my bed loving me.” He pointed his finger towards himself, stabbing it in his chest. “You and I both know it and it scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it?”

The words rang through Adam’s head over and over again, wondering whether or not what Brian said was true. Deciding not to let it get to him, he simply glared back at him. “Do you even realize how fast we fell for each other? From what Kris’s told me, it happened even faster for us than it did for you two, Brian, and that, my friend…scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it?”

Brian laughed. “I thought you said it wasn’t a competition, Adam.”

He lowered his voice and heaved, “It’s not.”

“Sure sounds like you’re making it out to be one.”

When Adam heard the front door swing open, his eyes narrowed. Julianne stuck her head out the door. “What’s going on out here?”

“Nothing,” Adam replied, walking past Brian and down off the porch. “I was just leaving.”

“Competition or not, Adam,” Brian said, turning towards the door. “You’ll lose.”

Adam stopped and turned around. “Mark my words, Brian…you’ll end up destroying Kris in the process.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Pulling into the driveway, Adam glanced at the clock. It was almost three in the morning. It took him longer than he expected, the stop at the grocery store adding to it. He made his way into the garage and out of the car quickly, making sure to grab his two grocery bags.  
Slowly and quietly, he made his way into the house and towards the kitchen without turning on any lights. The less noise he made the better. The less conspicuous he made himself, the better. If he were lucky, he’d be able to sneak back into bed without Kris even knowing what time he ventured home.

With careful precision, he took baby steps into the kitchen, making sure the sound of his footsteps couldn’t be heard.

After only a few steps however, he heard a distinct sound coming from somewhere within earshot. Adam stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes trying desperately to find the source. But it was useless. It was too dark.

He took another step, and then froze again when he could finally decipher the sound he was hearing. Sobs. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. It didn’t matter how inconspicuous he was, Kris was up and more than likely, waiting for him. “He called you, didn’t he?”

Slowly, a dark figure rose from hiding on the other side of the kitchen counter. “You lied to me.”

Adam swallowed down the lump in his throat, hearing Kris’s tone. When his eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, he noticed Kris clutching his cell phone near his chest. “I made a little detour.”

“Bullshit, Adam!” Kris yelled, throwing the phone down on the counter. “The only detour you made was the one to the grocery store and that was only because you were forced to.”

He stood completely still for a moment, still shocked over what was happening. He never thought Brian would actually call Kris. He set his bags down on the counter and walked over to the light switch on the wall.

“Don’t.”

Adam stopped his hand mid air and sighed. “I got you your string cheese.”

“I don’t give a shit about the damn cheese.”

Adam knew Kris was mad, not only by his tone but by his choice of words as well. He rarely ever swore. And when he did, it was only when he was upset. “I needed to have a talk with him.”

“Why?” Kris asked loudly. “So you could threaten him?”

Adam swung around towards him. “What’re you talking about?” he asked, shaking his head in confusion. “I didn’t threaten him.”

“That’s not what he said.”

“Well,” he responded, shaking his head again. “He’s lying.”

“You lied!”

“Whatever,” he mumbled, walking back to the bags. No point in starting a battle he was sure to lose. Deciding it was best just to ignore the situation, he opened the fridge and grabbed one of the bags off the counter. Slowly he started to pull the items out one by one, placing them in the fridge.

“Aren’t you even going to explain yourself?”

Adam finished putting the items away before shutting the fridge and making his way over to where Kris stood. “Would it help? Because I’m thinking that you’re not going to believe what I say anyway.”

Kris lashed out and hit Adam on the arm, hard.

“You can go off and hit me if you want, honey, but it’s not going to help what’s going on here, is it?”

“Why the hell did you go over there? You had no business!”

Adam reached out and ran his hand along Kris’s cheek, which he quickly pushed away. “That’s where you and Brian are both wrong. This is my business. You’re my business and what’s happening to you is my business. What’s happening to us is _my_ fucking business!”

Kris’s mouth dropped open before he covered his face with his hands and turned around. “This has nothing to do with us!”

Adam jerked around, throwing his hands up in the air. “Would you please stop saying that? This has EVERYTHING to do with us. EVERYTHING!”

When Kris didn’t respond, Adam simply stared him down. It did have everything to do with them. Couldn’t he see that? “Why didn’t you tell me that you changed your mind about having a baby?”

It was hard to see the reaction on Kris’s face, but by the gasp and the way Kris lunged his head forward, Adam knew it wasn’t good. “Why are you going through my stuff? Checking up on me?”

Kris’s words hit him hard.

“Huh, Adam? Are you?”

Adam stood completely still, willing himself not to overreact. It wasn’t easy though, because Kris’s tone was condescending and his stance matched his tone. Closing his eyes briefly, Adam caught his breath and then walked back into the kitchen. “The folder wasn’t in your ‘stuff’. It was in one of our many junk drawers,” he said, pointing to them all. Taking another moment to catch his breath, he sighed. “And you should know me better than that. I would never go through your ‘stuff’ in order to check up on you. And furthermore, are you trying to tell me that I should be checking up on you?”

“And you should know me better than that,” Kris retaliated, like Adam knew he would.

“I thought I did know you better than that, Kris, but now I’m not so sure.”

Kris stepped around the counter, venturing into the kitchen as well. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Adam leaned back against the fridge and folded his arms in front of him. “Why didn’t you tell me that you really didn’t want to quit your job? You didn’t have to quit, you know. We would’ve found a way to work it out without you quitting.”  
Kris sighed, but didn’t answer him.

“And why didn’t you tell me that you had changed your mind about the baby?” he continued, eyeing Kris carefully. “Don’t you think I had a right to know that?”

Slowly, Kris brought his hands up, covering his face again. “I haven’t done anything about it yet. I still haven’t made up my mind on what to do.”

“And what?” Adam questioned, blowing a breath out his nose in an act of disgust. “I don’t have a say in it?”

Kris’s hands flew down to his sides. “Do you really think that this is a good time to try and have a baby? Because I don’t. Not now.”

“Don’t you see what Brian’s doing to us?” Adam questioned, walking towards Kris. “Slowly and surely, he’s driving a wedge between us.” He lifted his hands and cupped Kris’s face so that he was forced to look Adam in the eye. “I’m not about to give up on us yet, Kris. But I can’t be the only one fighting for us either.” He leaned in and kissed Kris’s forehead before looking him squarely in the eyes again. “Remember that.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

After the fourth day of Kris’s self-imposed seclusion, Adam couldn’t take it any longer. There was only so much cleaning, reading, sleeping, and writing that he could take. He knew now, after four long days, that he should’ve gone for the in-ground pool Patrick kept badgering him to get. At least he could’ve spent his idle time swimming.

If he didn’t find something to do and fast, he was going to go crazy. His husband wouldn’t be the only one in seclusion. He’d be in a similar type setting, only it wouldn’t be at home and it wouldn’t be self-imposed, it’d be in an asylum.

Thankfully, Kris did allow him to sleep in their bedroom and in their bed, as lonely as it may have been. Regardless of the fact that Kris was next to him, the king-size mattress wasn’t very giving and Kris may as well have been in a different room as far as Adam was concerned.

Despite the secluded atmosphere, however, on occasion Kris did come out for food. String cheese, crackers and water. Not exactly what one would call a meal, or a healthy one at that, but at least he was eating, as little as it may have actually been. He also did come out two more times other than for food; he came out to attend his therapy sessions with Brian.

Another sore spot with Adam, but one he wasn’t about to embark on with things the way they were around the house.

For the first time in many years, Adam actually found himself champing at the bit for something to do. At this point, he would welcome just about anything. Even his own recording studio didn’t hold much interest for him, but day in and day out, he forced himself to sit down and try to write for the next album.

Of course, due to the state of depression he was in, every word he wrote was about being lonely and not wanting to go on. Not really pop album material, but it kept him somewhat busy.

Hearing a ruckus coming from the master bedroom, Adam walked towards the room at a snail’s pace. He knocked only once. “Kris?” When he didn’t respond, Adam turned the doorknob slowly, surprised that it wasn’t locked. “Honey?”

“I’m in the bathroom.”

He sat down on the bed and quickly noticed Kris’s suitcase on the bed. It was full and ready to go.

Where?

When Kris made his way out of the bathroom, Adam noticed that Kris was dressed. A big improvement considering he hadn’t showered in the four days that’d passed, let alone change his clothes.

“Going somewhere?” Adam questioned, nodding towards the suitcase.

Kris stopped and glanced over at the object in question. “I thought I had mentioned that Katy asked me to babysit while she and Cale went on this couples’ retreat.”

“Couples’ retreat?”

“Yeah,” Kris mumbled, gently running his hands down the sides of his pants. “Their minister suggested it. It’s only for the weekend.”  
Adam’s head swung around, his heart aching at hearing the words. “Doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Maybe we could do something like that.”

Kris shook his head and walked towards the bed. “Her oldest two children are going to her in-law’s house but she’s asked me to stay with Cassidy since her in-laws’ isn’t baby-proofed.”

With Kris standing so close, Adam took the opportunity to eye him carefully. It didn’t matter that he was finally dressed, or that his hair was combed, Kris still looked depressed and shaken. Thin and fragile. Dazed and confused. “Why don’t you just bring Cassidy here and watch her? I’d love the diversion,” he replied, looking at Kris’s face. Even the make-up didn’t hide what was really going on. It couldn’t. Nothing was going to help.

Kris zipped the suitcase up and grabbed it off the bed, making his way to the door. “I thought maybe we could use the space.”  
Dropping it to the floor, he turned around. “Besides, this place is hardly what I would call baby-proofed.”

“It wouldn’t take long to place the breakables up on the shelves, Kris,” he retaliated.

Lifting his head to face Adam, Kris took a deep breath. “Listen…the therapist said that giving us some space might help with what’s been going on around here.”

Adam closed his eyes and blew out a breath. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” He opened his eyes and leaned back on his arms, forcing himself not to think about Kris’s wayward appearance. “I’ve gotten the name of a really good therapist from a friend and I checked into it and she’d be more than willing to take you on as a patient.”

Kris shrugged. “I don’t feel like rehashing everything again with someone new. This one is pretty good and he already knows everything.”

Adam’s eyes remained focused on Kris. “He’s Brian’s therapist.”

Kris shook his head and shrugged again.

“I don’t like the idea of you talking to someone who is also talking to the same person you’re talking about,” Adam said calmly. “Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea. How do you know this guy isn’t relaying info to Brian?”

“God, Adam,” Kris heaved, turning to pace the floors. “He’s a professional!”

Adam rubbed his face with his hands with such force that he was sure he was giving himself new wrinkles in the process. He was having a hard time remaining calm as it was and hearing Kris defend this therapist of his, wasn’t helping. “Fine, I’m not going to argue with you about it.”

“Good.”

“So…this space your so-called therapist is recommending?” he questioned, standing to his feet. “Is it just with me? Or does he think you need to give yourself some space with Brian as well?”

Kris stopped dead in his tracks and dropped his head.

“Never mind,” Adam replied, walking over to him. “I already know the answer.” When he reached Kris, he stood behind his husband and snaked his arms around his waist. “You don’t need space from your husband, Kris, you should know that. What you need is space from Brian.”

Kris turned around and glared at Adam through the tears in his eyes. “So, now you’re not only a rock star but also a certified shrink too?”

Kris’s words cut deep. Deeper than he probably would ever know and deeper than Adam would ever let on. Dropping his hands from Kris’s waist, Adam stood up tall. “Do you want me to move out?”

Kris’s facial expression changed drastically. “No, not at all.”

“Then how do you suppose that you’re going to get this space that your therapist thinks you need?”

Adam noticed Kris swallow. Then, he noticed Kris blink back the tears that were threatening to pour out. “Um…I thought that by leaving this weekend, it would give us the space he thinks we need.”

“And what happens when you return home after this weekend?” Adam asked, not letting up. “Is one weekend going to be enough time to put space between us, because I’m thinking that he probably wouldn’t agree.”

“I don’t know, Adam,” Kris barked, turning around. “He thinks that I need to move out, okay? But I don’t want to do that.”

Adam gripped Kris’s shoulders and forced him to turn around and face him. “I thought you said that this doesn’t have anything to do with us, Kris. Do you remember saying that?” Adam took in a deep breath. “If this doesn’t have anything to do with our relationship then why the hell would your therapist suggest that you move out?”

“Adam,” Kris squeaked out.

“Answer me, damn it! What the hell is going on with you?” Adam let go of his shoulders and tried to get control of his emotions. “Do you or don’t you want to be married to me anymore?”

“Yes,” Kris answered weakly. “I love you, you know that.”

“I don’t know anything anymore, Kris and just by you saying those three words doesn’t really make it any clearer.” Adam took a few steps and stopped, lifting his gaze to Kris. “I’m just as confused as you are here. One minute I think I understand what’s going on and then bam……..five seconds later, I’m at a loss again.”

“I’m sorry,” Kris whispered. “I’m not doing this on purpose.”

Adam’s gaze dropped down. Staring at his feet, he closed his eyes in an attempt to relax. He was on the verge of tears. “I realize that you’re confused but I’m not sure what you’re confused over. If you love me like you say you do, then what is the confusion all about?” Lifting his head slowly, he looked at Kris. “If this is about guilt, then what chance do I even have? I’m not going to stay married to someone who is forever going to feel guilty about loving me. That’s not what marriage is all about.”

Kris simply stared back at Adam, tears spilling down his cheeks.

“You need to let him go, honey. If we stand any chance at making this marriage work,” he paused, inhaling deeply to catch his breath, “You need to get over this guilt and let Brian worry about himself. He’ll get over this and move on. He won’t have a choice.”

“You don’t understand,” Kris quipped quietly.

“You’re right,” Adam shot back loudly. “I don’t understand.” Adam walked over to the bed and plopped down, rubbing his eyes. “I don’t understand how you can say one thing but do another. Do you remember what you said to me that one night we were in bed together…right before Brian resurfaced?”

Kris wiped away the tears off his cheeks and whispered, “Please…don’t.”

“Well, I do,” Adam stated, ignoring Kris’s plea. “I remember the way you ran your hand over my face and told me that what you and Brian had couldn’t even compare to what we had.” He took a deep breath and gripped his chest. His heart felt like it was breaking in two and more than anything, he wanted to stop that from happening. He needed to stop it. “I remember how you told me that I was your soul mate…not Brian…but me, Adam. And I remember how you told me that you thought about what your life would’ve been like had Brian not died and how you never would’ve met me.”

“I remember,” Kris quietly stated.

“You also said that you weren’t happy about the fact that he’d died but that if he wouldn’t have died, you never would’ve known that _this_ type of love existed.” Adam swallowed hard to stop the tears from flowing. “Our love.”

Kris’s head shot up. “But he’s not dead, Adam.”

“But that shouldn’t change anything, Kris,” he said, standing to his feet. “Don’t you see that? Just because he’s alive shouldn’t change the way you feel. I’m your soul mate,” Adam whispered, reaching Kris and cupping his face with his hands. “Not Brian…you need to let go of this guilt.”

“That’s what I’m t-trying to do,” Kris gasped, closing his eyes. “You can’t possibly understand what I’m g-going through Adam because you’ve n-never been through it.”

Adam wiped away the tears with his thumb, his own tears now falling freely as well. For the first time, he was finally letting himself succumb to what was actually happening around him. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Make me understand then. I need to understand.”

“I don’t know how to do that,” Kris whispered, shaking his head slightly. “You’ve never had to let someone you love go…so you wouldn’t understand…and with Brian, it’s the s-second time around.”

Stepping back and dropping his hands, he eyed Kris carefully. He was losing Kris. It was something he knew all along, but not something that was easy to comprehend, let alone admit. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, taking the moment to wipe his face of the tears. “Do I even have a chance here?”

Kris’s eyes were clouded over with tears. “I should probably go.”

Adam looked down at Kris’s bag and stepped towards it. Reaching it, Adam bent down and picked it up, handing it to him. “Yeah…you probably should.”

“I love you, Adam,” Kris replied, taking the bag. “More than anything, I love you, and I’m sorry I’m h-hurting you.”

Adam stopped and turned to look at Kris, managing a little smile, knowing deep down that there was nothing in his life worth smiling over at this point. “I know…I’m sorry too.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Adam booked his flight and cleared the plans with his mother. His planned two-week trip to San Francisco would be nothing more than a mere diversion, but at least he’d be around family and friends. In LA, he felt like he had nothing. And as far as that was from being the truth, he still felt alone.

Alone.

Walking up to the front door of Katy’s house, he stopped when he heard the laughter penetrating through the walls of the home and making its way outside and to his ears. It was the first time in a long time that he’d heard his husband laugh. Laughing was something that didn’t exist at the moment. Intimacy was another one.

Smiling at the sound of Kris’s beautiful voice, he knocked on the door.

“Just a minute!”

Adam closed his eyes and took in the happiness of Kris’s voice. He hadn’t sounded this happy in a very long time. Too long. When the door flew open, he looked down and noticed two-year old Cassidy between Kris’s legs. Crouching down, he smiled and poked his finger through the screen, touching her nose. “Hi, sweetie!”

Cassidy smiled back, giggling. “Unble Adam!”

He stood up fully and looked at Kris. “Hi.”

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” Kris asked, pushing the screen door open to let him in. “Katy and Cale will be back tomorrow.”

“I know,” he replied, crouching down again and swooping up Cassidy in his arms. “Has Uncle Kris been nice to you?”

“Uh huh,” Cassidy shrieked.

“That’s good,” he said, kissing her nose. “He’s going to be a good daddy one day, isn’t he?”

“Uh huh.”

Adam laughed at her automatic response. She probably didn’t understand a word he was saying, but her reply was perfect. Looking over at his husband, Adam smiled again, eyeing his slender body up and down. “Have you been eating?”

Kris folded his arms in front of his chest and frowned. “Yes, I’ve been eating.”

Adam didn’t buy that lie for one minute. It was obvious that he wasn’t eating and if he was, he wasn’t eating properly. Since Brian returned home, he was guessing that Kris’d dropped at least ten pounds or more. Ten pounds that he couldn’t afford to lose.  
His gaze traveled to his husband’s eyes where it settled for a few seconds. The dark circles accentuated his state of depression and again, it looked like he hadn’t showered. He was even still in his pajamas. “Have you had lunch yet?”

“Actually,” Kris replied, turning his head towards the kitchen. “We just ate, didn’t we Cassidy?”

“Uh huh.”

“Ah,” Adam whined, kissing the little girl’s nose. “That’s too bad. I was hoping to have lunch with you and Uncle Kris.” She squirmed in his arms, pointing towards her toys. “Okay, okay…I’ll put you down.” He gently placed her on the floor and smiled as he watched her run away, giggling and screeching the entire time.

“I can see why Katy put her foot down about having any more kids,” Kris said, taking a seat on the couch in the living room. “This last one is quite a handful.”

“She’s adorable,” Adam gushed, watching Cassidy dump all of her toys out of her basket then tossing that aside. “Not very organized, but absolutely adorable.”

“She looks like Katy.”

Adam’s head turned towards his husband, silently wondering whether or not they would even have children to say that about one day. Less than two months ago, it was the hot topic. But today, it wasn’t even a thought. “Yeah, she sure does.”

Kris smiled, glancing Cassidy’s way. “From what Katy’s mother has said, she was a handful too.”

Adam smiled, only half hearing what Kris was saying as his thoughts lingered on his previous thoughts. “That doesn’t surprise me.”  
Kris shrugged, shaking his head. “Of course, I’m sure Cale was a handful too as most boys are.”

“Probably.”

“I wonder how they’re doing.” He looked back at Adam. “I hope this weekend puts their marriage back on track.” Kris pointed at Cassidy. “Especially for the sake of the kids.”

His voice was sincere and shaken, causing Adam to snap out of his thoughts and pay closer attention. “Yeah,” he said quietly.

“What’s wrong?”

The question surprised Adam. Did Kris really need to ask? Just about everything was wrong. Didn’t he know that? Or was he just that delusional? “You look tired, are you sure you’ve been eating?”

Kris’s eyes narrowed. “I eat when I’m hungry Adam.”

Adam’s gaze stayed fixed on Kris. “I’m going to head to San Francisco for a while.” He knew he’d surprised Kris with that announcement just by the look on his face.

“Oh.”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” he continued, taking a seat in over-sized chair across from the couch. “Maybe…the therapist is right. Maybe space is what you need to work through this.”

Kris continued to stare at him with wide eyes. “How long will you be gone?”

“Two weeks for now, but that can always be changed.”

“Will you be staying at your mom’s?”

He nodded.

“Does she know what’s going on?”

Adam thought about that question long and hard. No one close to him knew much about anything at this point. They knew Brian had miraculously been spared, but that was about it. And he’d done that intentionally. He didn’t want unsolicited advice, good or bad. “Not really.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

He shrugged, turning his attention towards Cassidy who was barreling towards him. “Hey, you!” Holding out his arms, he swooped her up and sat her on his lap. “You got yourself some batteries in that body of yours?”

Kris jumped up from the couch and walked towards them. “Come on, Cassidy, it’s time for your nap.” He bent down and gathered up the little one in his arms. “Tell Uncle Adam goodnight.”

Adam got up from his chair and leaned over to kiss her. “Night, sweetheart.”

“Night night, Unble Adam.”

He ran his hand along her cheek and smiled. “I’m going to get going too,” he whispered, looking at his husband. “My flight leaves tonight and I still need to pack.”

“Do you have to go right now or can you wait for a few minutes until I get done putting her down?”

Adam forced himself not to show the emotion that was coming to a head. “I should probably just go so you can take a nap too.” His hand reached over to Kris’s face, running along his cheek. “You look beat.”

“Please,” Kris whispered with tears in his eyes. “It’ll only take me a few minutes to put her down.”

Adam smiled, looking back to Cassidy. “Here,” he whispered, taking the little one in his arms again. “I’ll put her down.”

Slowly, he walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. He placed Cassidy down in her crib and covered her up. “Night, little one.” Rubbing her head, he softly sang _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star_ and followed it up with a back rub and _Rock-a-bye Baby_. When he was done, he kissed her hand and gently placed it on her cheek.

Satisfied that Cassidy was down for the count, he turned and walked out the door, shutting it slowly behind him. When he turned the corner to head down the stairs, he bumped into Kris, who was standing there with tears flowing down his cheeks. “Was I that off key?” Adam joked, reaching out and wiping away the tears.

“Besides for our wedding song that you sang in my ear, that was the very first time I’ve ever heard you sing.”

Adam scrunched his nose and cocked his head to the side. “It was?”

“Yeah,” Kris whispered, nodding. “It was.” He stepped away from the wall and headed down the hall and into another bedroom.

Adam didn’t know whether or not he was supposed to follow Kris or just head back down the stairs. Maybe Kris was heading to bed after all. Sighing, he stepped down the first step and turned his head back when he heard Kris whisper his name. Kris was waving him to follow. Slowly, he made his way into the room where his husband stood.

He stood still and watched as Kris sat down on the twin-size bed in what was definitely a spare room of some sort. All it held was a bed, nightstand and a cardboard table cluttered with photos, stickers and a sewing machine.

“I’m going to miss you.”

Adam’s eyes widened as he did a double take. Did he actually hear him right? “What?”

Kris lifted his head. “I said I’m going to miss you while you’re gone,” he whispered.

“I’m going to miss you too, honey, but I think this will be good for you.”

“I guess,” he replied casually, lifting his head all the way so he could see Adam. “I wish there was something I could do to make all the hurt go away. More than anything, I don’t want to hurt you or Brian.”

“Maybe,” Adam trailed, stepping closer and getting on his knees in front of Kris. “You need to stop worrying about us and start worrying about yourself. I know you say you’re eating, but you look like hell, Kris.” Adam put his hands on Kris’s knees. “You look worn out, tired and almost feeble.”

“Thanks a lot,” Kris mumbled, jerking away from him.

“I’m not trying to be mean.” He reached up and cupped Kris’s face so that Kris was forced to look at him. “But honestly, I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.”

“I’m fine.”

Adam took a deep breath and blew it out. “You are definitely not fine and you know it,” he said sternly, making sure to get his point across.

Without any warning whatsoever, Kris lunged forward and gripped Adam’s hands that were still firmly planted on his face, pulling Adam towards him. Forcefully, he pressed his lips against Adam’s, squeezing Adam’s face in his cold hands.

His reaction took Adam by surprise and when his tongue darted out and ran along his lips, Adam reacted in kind, pressing his mouth harder against Kris’s. It’d been a while since they’d kissed with any type of passion, let alone raw sexual passion and quickly, he found himself getting lost in the moment.

Their kisses were hot, slobbery and passionate, both gasping for air whenever they had a chance.

Unfortunately though, Adam came to his senses in only a matter of moments and realized that sex wasn’t what Kris needed. What he needed was closure.

He stood up, pulling Kris up with him. He pulled back and kept Kris at an arm’s length by pressing his hands into Kris’s shoulders. “This isn’t what you want.”

Kris opened his eyes fully. “Yes, it is what I want…please,” he said hoarsely.

“I want nothing more than to make love to you, honey.” Adam pulled Kris close and hugged him tightly. “Believe me,” he whispered in his ear. “But you and I both know that it isn’t what you really want.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Kris tried to free himself from Adam’s hold, but he was stuck. Adam wasn’t letting him go anywhere. “Does my appearance turn you off that much?”

Adam stepped back, slipping his arms from Kris’s waist and placing them back on his shoulders to hold him in place. “No…this has nothing to do with how you look...it has to do with your feelings.”

“I don’t believe you.”

It took him a moment to make out what Kris had said; his voice was so shaken that Adam could barely make out the words. “When have I _ever_ lied to you?” When Kris’s eyes finally fluttered open, Adam saw the hurt and pain of what his rejection had done to Kris and it tore at his insides, working its way up and out. “Shit…h-honey.” The desperation in Kris’s eyes spoke the words he didn’t say. If Adam didn’t do something quick, things were going to go from bad to worse. “C’mere.” Adam pulled Kris close, pressing his lips firmly on Kris’s.

Kris’s kiss was needy.

He was needy.

Before Adam even knew what hit him, Kris’s hands reached down and unbuckled his jeans, yanking them roughly down as far as he could.

Adam pulled back and against his better judgment, helped Kris out of his clothes as well, returning the favor before finally removing his jeans all the way. He searched Kris’s face, settling on his eyes when Kris finally looked at him. That’s when Adam knew he’d been right all along. Sex wasn’t what Kris really needed.

Unconditional love and acceptance was what he needed. What he wanted. Only, Kris didn’t see it.

“I love you,” Adam whispered. “God, I love you.”

Kris managed a weak smile before turning his back and walking over to the bed.

Adam sighed, closing his eyes briefly. He didn’t want to do what Kris expected him to do. He really didn’t. But he was caught between a rock and a hard place and there was no possible way out without someone being crushed.

And he wasn’t about to let Kris be the one crushed.

Slowly, he made his way to the bed and stood at the edge for a moment, just staring at the shell of what was once his husband. When Kris reached out and grabbed his hand, Adam did his best to smile, allowing himself to be pulled on top of Kris.

“Forget the foreplay,” Kris whispered. “I just want to feel you inside me.”

Adam shifted his weight to the side as best he could. There wasn’t much room to move though and he found himself half-on/half-off Kris.

“You…I want you on top.” Kris did his best to pull Adam back. “Now…please…I want to feel you now.”

Any other time, Kris’s demands and requests would’ve been a huge turn-on, but at the moment, they were just another reminder of the confusion that was clouding his brain and judgment.

Adam looked Kris in the eyes. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Kris’s eyes narrowed, filling with tears. “Have I ever not been ready for you?” Kris grabbed Adam’s arm and shoved his hand down between their bodies and between his legs.

Adam immediately felt the hardness and knew that he didn’t need to go any further because he already had his answer. He reached to the nightstand and grabbed a condom and the lube. Once he was ready and because Adam didn’t want to prolong his torture any longer, he positioned himself at Kris’s opening, spreading Kris’s legs with his thighs.

Kris arched his back, taking Adam in completely as Adam watched his face intently, trying to read his thoughts.

But it was useless.

He couldn’t read anything.

Slowly, he worked his way in and out, savoring the feeling but not truly enjoying a single minute of it.

Kris wasn’t into it.

He wasn’t into it.

Now what?

His gut reaction was to pull out and put an end to the misery of seeing Kris that way. But he knew that was out of the question. If anything, it’d probably put Kris in hysterics. And that was exactly what he wanted to avoid.

Going through the act on autopilot, Adam’s thoughts traveled down a different path a few moments later. “Why don’t you get on top,” he whispered.

Kris’s eyes flew open. “No.”

“But it’d be easier for you….”

Kris interrupted him. “Don’t worry about me.”

“But…” Adam trailed, stopping himself when he saw the look in his husband’s eyes. His words would only fall on deaf ears.

Adam continued to work himself in and out of Kris, praying that’d he be able to find his own release soon. Making love to someone who just wasn’t into it wasn’t exactly erotic. Especially when that someone wasn’t even making a single sound.

Not one single sound.

He had to close his eyes and force himself to think of another one of their sexual encounters. If he wanted it to be over soon, he didn’t have any other choice.

He thought back to the first time they’d had sex back in Cozumel and quickly found himself getting lost in the moment. The last week that they were there couldn’t be described any other way than simply…hot. They’d had more sex in that one week than he’d had during the last year of his previous marriage.

Adam pounded faster and harder, eventually emptying out what little pleasure he managed to accumulate.

The task was accomplished.

His mission was over.

Rolling to his side, he maneuvered his arm behind Kris’s head and pulled Kris close to him. “I love you, baby.” When Kris made an attempt to speak, Adam quickly cut him short. “Sh…just go to sleep.”

“Can you stay for just a little while longer?”

Adam sighed, kissing Kris’s head. “I’ve got some time.”

“Will you sing to me?”

Adam smiled. “How about an Adam Lambert song?”

Kris lifted his head slightly, looking Adam in the eyes. “Perfect.”

Perfect…..but they were anything but……

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

By the end of the second week of his so-called vacation to San Francisco, Adam was barely able to hold it together. He was at his wits end and nearing the end of the rope that he was dangling from. It’d been a long two weeks and during the days that had passed, not once did his husband call him.

He did manage to get through to Kris once, thanks to his determination and his will not to give up, but it wasn’t easy. Kris never had his cell phone turned on, or if he did, he never answered it. It was out of sheer luck that Adam had tracked him down when he called Katy’s place, only to find out that his husband was there having dinner.

Their conversation lasted over an hour, but not much was actually said. He didn’t bring up Brian and as far as he was concerned, Kris didn’t offer any hope of what was happening to being over any time soon. If anything, he seemed more distant and distracted than he had before Adam had left.

Evidently, the space Adam had purposely given him wasn’t doing much good.

For either of them.

Kris did manage to tell him that he missed him, but Adam wasn’t convinced. Kris’s voice sounded even more pathetic and weak when he’d whispered those words into the phone than any other words he’d spoken during their entire conversation. And from that point on, Adam pretty much gave up hoping that they’d have a chance.

As far as he saw it…they had nothing to go on.

Evidently, love wasn’t enough…

Walking down the stairs and into his mother’s kitchen, Adam poured himself a cup of coffee and sank into one of the kitchen chairs. He’d never felt so alone in his life or so afraid of what the future held.

It was the unknown that scared him the most.

And it was the unknown that needed closure.

Hearing footsteps coming towards him, he lifted his head slightly and turned to see his mom pouring herself a cup of coffee as well. He took a deep breath and sighed. “I think I’m gonna take off in the morning.”

When Leila finished pouring her coffee, she took a seat next to her son and placed her hand on his shoulder. “You still have a few days left, honey…and everyone’s looking forward to seeing you at the party.”

“I can’t deal with everyone’s questions, mom,” he said quietly. “So far, it hasn’t been too bad, but I just can’t deal with the added pressure of trying to pussyfoot around the subject anymore.” Adam looked up at her and managed a smile. “You won’t be mad, will you?”

She smiled back at him and removed her hand. “No, honey…I understand.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, taking another drink of his coffee. Placing the mug back down on the table, he ran his hand through his hair. “I need to get back and try to get on with my life as best as possible.”

“How’re you gonna do that?”

Adam shrugged. “Honestly…I have no idea.” And he didn’t. But he knew he had to. “I need to work a little more on my album…” he trailed.

Leila placed her cup down on the table and shook her head, stopping Adam mid-sentence. “Working isn’t going to help and you know it.”

She was right.

She was always right.

“Then what do you suggest I do?” he asked calmly, but firmly. “I’m open for any suggestions.”

She sighed loudly, looking forlorn. “Honey, I don’t know what to tell you, I really don’t. But _something…someone…somewhere…_ has to give.” Leila took a deep breath and looked away. “By the description you’ve given me of Kris…I’d say that, that something, someone, somewhere has got to be _soon_.”

Adam’s head dropped straight down onto the table in a desperate attempt to knock himself out cold. He couldn’t deal with what his mother was saying, no matter how true it actually was. He didn’t want to have to be the one to give. He wanted Brian to be the one that had to give. After all, he was the one that started this mess…shouldn’t he be the one to finish it?

“Adam…Kris needs one of you to let him go,” she whispered into his ear. “Maybe you should be the one to step up to the plate…for his sake, honey.”

His head shot up, his eyes narrowing in on his mother’s face. “Why does it have to be me? Brian’s the one who fucked this all up in the first place.”

Leila shook her head. “Watch your language, young man…I know you’re mad, hurt and pretty upset, but that doesn’t give you the right to talk that way.”

He brought his hands up to his head and yanked his hair back off his face. “Sorry,” he moaned.

“You know, honey,” she suggested. “Have you ever heard the expression about setting something free and…?”

Adam cocked his head to the side, moaning loudly to drown out her voice. “Yeah…yeah…and what happens if it doesn’t come back to me?”

Leila shrugged, nodding gently. “Then he was never really yours,” she whispered. “But it sounds to me like this is destroying Kris…mentally and physically…and that’s not fair to him.”

“I know that, okay?” he spat back, dropping his hands on the table. “I know that.”

“Adam, Brian didn't ask for this to happen to him,” Leila whispered quietly, allowing her hand to fall on top of his.

He looked down at their hands and questioned flatly, "Are you taking Brian’s side?"

"Absolutely not...but you need to try putting yourself in his shoes, dear," she said sincerely. "True, everyone thought that he was dead but the truth of the matter was...he wasn't dead and for the past three years of his life that he spent locked away somewhere, he probably thought of nothing else but Kris.”

Adam moaned.

"Can you even imagine that? What he went through? Kris was probably the only thing that kept him going honey."

He couldn’t.

He absolutely couldn’t.

And God knows that he’d tried.

“Why did this have to happen?” he asked out loud, but to no one in particular. “We were going to start a family…we were going to have the standard 2.5 kids…we were going to have the mini-van and the white picket fence.”

Leila laughed, rubbing her son’s hand. “You? In a mini-van,” she said, shaking her head. “I just can’t picture that.”

Adam’s head swung towards his mother. “But I would’ve done it…I would’ve driven an old beat-up station wagon if I had to.”

“I know you would have, honey.” She patted his hand and smiled. “And who’s to say you still won’t have that opportunity?”

Feeling his chest tighten with emotions he wasn’t about to let show, he gulped back the tears the best he could. “I can’t talk about this now,” he said quietly. Looking down at his cell phone, it startled him when it rang. “I need to take this call.”

Leila smirked, rolling her eyes. “Lucky break.”

Adam glanced at the image illuminating on the screen. He recognized the number and immediately his heart started pounding. “Hey, Katy.”

Leila walked away from the table and over to the kitchen sink to start loading the dishwasher with the dishes from the evening before. Having both her sons present for a nice home-made dinner was a pleasure like none other for her. What most people took for granted, she had come to relish. Family get-togethers didn’t just happen along with the Lamberts, they took precision like none other to make it happen.

Clanking two plates together, she turned her head. “Sorry, honey,” she whispered, trying her best not to distract him from his intense conversation.

The dinner the night before had gone off fairly smoothly and Kris’s name was not mentioned at all.

Hearing Adam moan loudly, she turned to see him. His head was resting on the table with his hand running through his hair. It didn’t look good. Slowly, she put down the towel and headed back towards the table.

“Katy…I’m gonna catch a flight out of here just as soon as I can.”

Hearing those words, Leila knew in a flash that something was wrong back home. Taking her hand, she placed it on top of his head and bent down to kiss him. It was killing her to see her son in so much pain.

“I’ve got to run if I want to head to the airport here in the next hour or so.” Adam sat up and looked up at his mom, still finishing his conversation with Katy. “Just don’t leave his side until I’m there…promise me.”

When he hung up the phone, Leila took a seat next to him at the table. “Is there something wrong with Kris, dear?” She placed her hand on top of his.

Adam took a deep breath and drew his eyebrows together. “Katy stopped by to visit him today at the house and found him lying on the bed naked…completely zoned out. She forced him to take a shower, convincing him that he needed to go and get something to eat.”  
Leila’s mouth dropped.

“But they never made it that far because Kris fainted as soon as he stood up.”

Her hand shot up to her mouth. “Oh dear…did she call a doctor?”

Adam nodded. “They are at the hospital now and they’re running a few tests to see what’s going on but both Katy and I know what’s going on…Kris isn’t taking care of himself at all.” He stood to his feet; the fatigue finally starting to take its toll. “Before I left I would guess that he was down at least ten pounds, maybe more.”

Leila stood to her feet as well, pulling her son into a hug. “You don’t look so good yourself, Adam. You look exhausted.”

“I am,” he replied calmly. “I am.”

When he pulled back from his mother, his facial expression turned blank. “Is it possible for someone to be totally in love with two different people?”

She pondered that statement for a few moments, watching as her son fought to control his emotions. Slowly, she nodded. “Yes, I think it’s possible…but I also believe that regardless of him loving both you and Brian…his heart only belongs to one of you.”

Adam’s face lost all color as he stood there staring off into space. When he finally lifted his gaze to meet his mother’s, his eyes bore deeply into hers. “I guess it’s time to find out which one of us actually has his heart then.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.

Katy stared at the lifeless body lying on the bed. He wasn’t dead, but Kris was exhibiting too many attributes of someone who was close to death and it was really starting to scare her. She’d never seen anything like it.

Not even close.

Even when Brian had been presumed dead, Kris didn’t react nearly as bad as she was now. He was depressed and cried a lot, but for the most part he pulled himself together the best he could and by all outward appearances, acted normally.

This was definitely _not_ normal.

Katy leaned over her friend, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of her hand. “Your mother should be here in a few minutes, Kris.”

Kris’s eyes flew open. “I wish you wouldn’t have called her. I’ll be fine once I get some sleep,” he hoarsely whispered.

“You need to eat more than you need to sleep.” Katy shook her head and crouched down alongside the bed, pulling the covers up to her friend’s chin. “You heard what the doctor said. Besides the depression, you’re run down. You _need_ to eat.”

Kris simply stared into space.

“Have those pills kicked in yet?” Katy asked, already knowing the answer. “Let’s hope those things work. You should’ve been on anti-depressants a long time ago.”

Kris’s eyes slowly shifted towards his friend.

Katy knew scared when she saw it and as far as she was concerned, she was looking right at it. “Honey…please, can I get you something to eat?” She took a deep breath, immediately recalling that Adam had been in San Francisco for the past two weeks. “Is there even anything in this house to eat?”

Kris slightly shook his head.

Katy blew out a long breath, shaking her head. “What the hell was Adam thinking when he took off to San Francisco anyway?”

Kris’s eyes widened even more. Sitting up straight, he peered at his friend. “Don’t you dare blame this on him. He went to give me the space that everyone thinks I need.”

Katy held back her smile. Obviously, confrontation was doing wonders for bringing back the dead. “What about what you need, Kris? Y-O-U. Do Brian and that fucking therapist of his even think about _you_?”

Kris’s shoulders slumped. “I’m not important.”

“Bullshit!” Katy jumped to her feet, throwing her arms in the air. “ _You_ are the only one that’s important here. Screw Brian, screw Adam and screw the therapist.”

Kris lay back down on the bed, covering his body completely with the covers, head and all. “Just go.”

“No,” Katy huffed, ripping back the covers. “I told Adam I wouldn’t leave until he was by your side and that’s exactly what I intend on doing.” Staring at Kris intently, she moaned. “What you need is to put closure to this for everyone’s sake.” Seeing the tears fall from her friend’s eyes, she knelt on the floor and lowered her voice. “Kris, you need closure for your sake, and if it means hurting someone along the way, then it means hurting someone. You can’t make everyone happy.” Slowly, she brought her hand up and wiped away the tears from Kris’s cheeks. “You need to make yourself happy, honey. After all this time…what you need is to simply make yourself happy and let everyone else worry about themselves. And maybe that means letting both Brian and Adam go, I don’t know. All I know is that right now, everyone is hurting, including yourself and you’re the only one who can make that stop.”

Kris pulled the covers back up and over his head without saying a word. Katy held back her tears for as long as she could before giving in to the reality of how truly depressing this whole situation actually was.

After everything that’d Kris had been through in the past three years…didn’t he deserve a break?

She stepped back and took a seat on the window seat, dropping her head back and closing her eyes. Clasping her hands together, she took to her last resort. If God couldn’t help, no one could.

********** 

_God, how come no one understands what I’m going through? No one? Everyone thinks that I should be handling this the way they think…not the way I think. Everyone thinks I need closure, when what I really need is the answer on how to do just that._

_Can’t they tell how much this is killing me? Can’t they see how the guilt is eating at me day in and day out? I can’t think straight. I can’t function. I can’t act. I can’t do anything right. I can’t even breathe right._

_You know what I went through for the past three years, God…you were right there watching me go through it. For three years, I mourned for Brian. He was everything to me and losing him was absolutely the most painful thing that has ever happened to me.  
Until now._

_Those three years seem like a walk in the park compared to what I’m going through now, because now, there’s not only Brian and myself to think about…there’s Adam._

_Adam is my knight in shining armor. I looked at that man one time and knew it in my heart that he was the one for me. It was so instantaneous that even now…it’s hard to believe how truly fast it all happened._

_But why did you throw Adam my way when you knew that you’d be sending Brian back to me only months later? Is there something I’ve done in my life that was so terrible that you thought that I deserved this?_

_I know that everyone always says that you only give people what they can handle, but God…I can’t handle this._

_When I think about what Brian has been through, I just want to reach out and grab him, hold him and tell him that everything’s going to be okay. But I can’t because I don’t know if everything is going to be okay._

_I can’t even imagine the sheer hell he’s been through for the past three years of his life._

_And if you really know everything and you really are up there listening to me, then can you help me out here?_

_How can I let Adam go?  
How can I let Brian go?_

_How can I let go of my very first true love? How can I even think about letting him go again when getting him back was a gift from you?  
But how can I let go of the man who taught me what real love was all about? How can I even think about letting Adam go when getting him in the first place was a gift from you? _

“Kris?”

Kris’s eyes flew open at the sound of hearing Katy’s voice right next to her.

“You were praying out loud, honey.”

“I w-was?”

“Yeah,” she said, a distinct sadness to her voice. “Your mom’s here.”

“Hi, honey,” Kim said, walking around the bed and in full view of her son. “I got here as fast as I could.” She knelt down on the floor and waited to speak until Katy left the room and closed the door behind her. “I had no idea that you were this bad, sweetheart.”

“I know, mom,” he replied, nodding slightly. “I tried my best to act normal on the phone.”

“Why?” Kim brought her hand up and ran it along her son’s cheek. “Why didn’t you come to me and tell me what’s been going on?”

Kris swallowed down the lump in his throat. “I didn’t want you and dad telling me that I had jumped into my marriage with Adam too fast and that if I would’ve waited…”

“Honey,” Kim interjected, placing her finger over Kris’s lips. “That would have never happened.” Pulling the sheets back, her gaze dropped. “When’s the last time you’ve eaten? You look like you’ve lost twenty pounds since the last time I saw you.”

Adam...Brian...I love Adam...Kris frowned. “I eat when I’m hungry.”

“What have these two boys done to you?”

 _Adam...Brian...Adam...I can't live without him..._ “It’s not their faults, mom.”

“But still, sweetheart,” Kim replied. “Can’t they see what this is doing to you?”

 _Adam...Brian...Adam...my soul mate...my first love..._ Kris reached out in haste and grabbed his mother’s hand tightly, moving it along his cheek for reassurance. “What am I going to do, mom?”

“I don’t know, Kris,” his mother whispered. “I don’t know, but you need to do something.” Kim looked over at the nightstand, noticing the pills. “Katy told me that the doctor prescribed anti-depressants.”

Kris’s eyes traveled to the nightstand. “He did, but I’m not taking them.”

Kim’s head turned. “Why not?”

 _Adam…Brian…Adam…Brian…_ As he sat there in silence for a few moments, staring off into the space in front of her, it all became suddenly clear. Oh my God... He knew what he needed to do. It hit him hard and like a ton of bricks. “I don’t need them, mom.”

“Apparently you do or the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed them.”

 _I knew it all along...how could I have been so blind?_ “Trust me,” he whispered, looking towards his mother. “I know what I need to do and taking pills isn’t the answer.”

“Then what is the answer, sweetheart?”

 _I love him more than anything..._ Kris sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard, folding his arms in front of his chest. “I need to do something I should’ve done weeks ago.”

Kim took a seat on the bed next to her son. “Are you sure you know what that is?”

 _Yes...absolutely sure..._ Kris nodded. “I guess I’ve known for a long time, mom. I’ve just been too afraid to admit it to myself.” He closed his eyes briefly. “But I think God just gave me my answer…just now.” Tears ran down his cheeks, spilling onto his chest. “It’s just so hard for me to have to do this because I don’t want to hurt anyone, but by continuing to do what I’m doing, I’m hurting everyone…myself included. Adam was right all along…this is slowly eating me alive.”

 

Kim’s hand reached out. Taking her son’s hand in hers, she squeezed it tightly. “You’re right, honey.”

Kris swallowed down the lump in his throat and wiped his eyes. His heart was breaking, just thinking about what he needed to do and what he was about to do. “I just hope that he understands and that he doesn’t hate me.” Looking at his mother, he sighed loudly. “I’m not gonna be able to live with myself if he hates me.”

“Who, honey?”

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. “In my heart, I’ve known since I first lay eyes on him again that letting him go was going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I guess that’s why I haven’t been able to do it yet.”

“Who are you referring to honey? Adam or Brian?”

The knock at the door startled them both into silence. When the door slowly creaked open, Katy’s head popped in view. “Hey…Brian’s here.”

“Brian?” Kris questioned, looking at his mother. “What’s he doing here?”

Kim dropped her head. “I called him, honey. I didn’t know what else to do when Katy called me and told me what was going on. I knew Adam wasn’t home.”

“By the way Kris, Adam called too,” Katy said, taking a step into the room and shutting the door behind her. “He’s on the road now and should be here in thirty minutes.”

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

Kris’s heart felt like it stopped. Closing his eyes, he placed his hand on his chest, relief washing over him as he felt it pound against the palm of his hand. It hadn’t stopped. “Tell Brian to go. I don’t want Adam coming home and seeing him here.”

Katy frowned, shaking her head. “You know he’s not going to leave unless he gets to see you.”

Kim stood up from the bed and walked over to the window. “Maybe I could convince him otherwise since I’m the one that called him in the first place.”

Kris fidgeted in the bed, working his way down until he was lying against the mattress again. This is what he didn’t want to happen. He needed to talk to Adam first before dealing with Brian. It was only fair that his husband knew what his decision was first.  
Hearing the door open again, Kris’s eyes darted towards the sound.

“Kris?” Brian questioned, walking in and stopping short of going any further when everyone looked his way. “Are you alright? Your mother said you were taken to the hospital for tests.”

“Does he look alright?” Katy questioned, shaking her head towards him. “Don’t you think you’ve put him through enough, Brian?”

Kris closed his eyes, fighting back the tears while trying to drown out the sound of their voices.

“Why does everyone think I’m the only one who’s to blame here?” Brian asked, turning towards Katy. “I’m not the only one at fault. Is it because Adam’s famous that everyone just dismisses him from this situation?”

When Kris heard someone clearing their throat, his body immediately tensed. It was the deep sound that alerted his attention and made him freeze with horror. The sound didn’t come from Brian and as sure as he was that sun was gonna set, he knew it wasn’t his mother’s or Katy’s voice.

“I don’t think anyone dismisses me because of the fact that I’m famous, Brian.”

“What are you doing here?” Brian questioned loudly.

Adam took a few steps in to the bedroom, making his way to where his husband was lying. “This is my house, Brian. Why wouldn’t I be here?” He turned his attention towards Kris. Once he reached the side of the bed, he crouched down and cupped Kris’s face in his hands. Looking at him intently for a few moments, he turned towards everyone in the room. “I need some time alone with my husband, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Katy grabbed Brian’s arm and quickly shot him a look. “Come on,” she whispered, pulling him along.

Adam watched and waited as everyone staggered out of the room one by one. Slowly, he stood and made his way to the door. Kris heard the lock turn as he slowly sat up in bed, his heart pounding rapidly with every second of silence that passed by.  
“You look like hell.”

“Thanks,” Kris mumbled, looking down. “That was just what I was hoping to hear.”

Adam sat down on the bed next to Kris and shook his head. “You look even worse now than you did before I left. I thought by my leaving, it was supposed to help.”

Kris shrugged.

Adam’s gaze traveled to the nightstand. Once his eyes settled in on the bottle of prescription pills, he reached for them, bringing them up close.  
Kris took a deep breath, preparing himself for a battle. “I’m not taking them.”

“Why not?” Adam questioned, turning to him. “Katy filled me in on everything the doctor said. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, but I couldn’t catch a flight yesterday.”

“I know,” Kris whispered. “Katy told me you were trying.”

His gaze traveled back to the pills. “Why aren’t you going to take them?”

“Because I’m confused, not depressed,” Kris stated roughly, yanking the pills from Adam’s hands.

Adam scrunched his nose. “Don’t you think that confusion and depression are one and the same? Or at least they go hand-in-hand?”

“Not really,” Kris said, placing the pills back on the nightstand.

“We need to talk,” Adam said quietly, getting up from the bed. Slowly, he started pacing the floors, letting his thoughts gather inside before spilling them incoherently. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past two weeks…”

“So have I.”

Adam stopped short and looked at him. “Would you like to go first then?”

Kris shook his head, unable to look at Adam.

“Okay then…I will.” Adam took a seat on the window seat and stared at his husband for a few moments, taking in the sight before him. What he said was true. Kris looked worse now than he had before he left. “How much weight have you lost?”

Kris frowned, shaking his head slowly. “Not that much.”

“You’re lying,” Adam mumbled, shaking his head back at her. “Your eyes speak for you.”

“I’m tired.”

“Yeah,” he said tersely. “I think we all are.”

For a few minutes, all was silent as he stared into the eyes of his once vibrant husband. Kris wasn’t the same person he was months ago. Not even close. What once could be described as a vibrant brown could now only be described as murky at best. It was obvious that Kris was thinking about him. Brian. His eyes gave it away, each and every time.

“I can’t keep fighting for someone who isn’t even here,” Adam said quietly. “You’re not here anymore. Now that I look back on it, you haven’t been here since the day Brian set foot back on American soil.”

“That’s not true,” Kris mumbled.

“Yes, it is.” Adam watched as Kris laid perfectly still, Kris’s eyes fixed on his. “You can’t deny what’s true, Kris.” Adam’s shoulders slumped. “You just can’t and I can’t be part of it anymore.”

“What’re you trying to say?” Kris asked, sitting up slightly to prop himself up on his elbow.

“As much as I don’t want to let you go,” Adam added quietly. “I don’t have a choice.” Raking his hands through his hair, he let out a pent-up breath. “I can’t keep fighting for something that isn’t there.” He rubbed his eyes and fought back the tears. “This isn’t fair to you and I’m not going to stand by and watch you slowly wither away.”

Kris’s eyes closed as the tears started spilling out. “I’m not g-going to wither away.”

Adam dropped his hands, allowing the tears to come. It was no use in trying to hold them back any longer. “You already are,” he hoarsely whispered. “You already are.”

“G-god, Adam,” Kris mumbled, sitting up straighter. “Please d-don’t do this.”

“Can’t you see that there isn’t any other way?” Adam asked, wiping away his tears. “This is killing you…slowly but surely.”  
“I thought you l-loved me.”

Adam jumped to his feet and made his way over to Kris. Dropping to the bed, he gathered Kris in his arms and clung tightly. “I do love you…Fuck, I’ve never loved anyone so much in my life.” Pulling away, he peered into Kris’s eyes. “That’s why I have to do this.”  
“I d-don’t understand,” Kris whispered, looking away.

“You love him, Kris,” Adam stated quickly. “Can’t you see that? You’ve been trying to figure out something you’ve known all along, honey.”

Kris’s head flung around, his eyes wide. “I love _you_.”

Adam nodded in agreement. He knew that. But he also knew something Kris obviously wasn’t ready to admit to him. “But you love him too and I can’t be with someone who very well may spend the rest of his life trying to figure out which man he loves more.” His thumbs caressed Kris’s cheeks in a desperate attempt to wipe away the tears that were falling faster and faster. “It’s not fair to me.”

“B-but…”

“Think about it, honey,” he moaned, cupping Kris’s chin and forcing his head to remain still. “You really  let Brian go and now that he’s back, you may _never_ be able to.” Adam leaned in, kissed Kris’s cheek and moved his mouth to his ear. “And I understand that…I really do, but at the same time…I don’t want to be part of it.”

“B-but…what about us being soul mates?”

Adam fought back the urge to get up and leave. He did all he could to remain calm, cool and collected. Deep down, he knew they were soul mates. He really did. And nothing would convince him otherwise, but he had to do what he was doing. It was the right thing to do, no matter how bad it hurt.

“You s-said we were s-soul m-mates,” Kris whimpered in his ear between sobs.

“I thought we were,” Adam whispered back. “But maybe this wasn’t meant to be.”

Kris pulled back from Adam. His eyes may have been barely open, but he could see the hurt and confusion buried deep inside them. “How can you even s-say that?”

Adam gulped down the lump, closing his eyes briefly. “Because it’s true.” Opening his eyes, he peered deeply into Kris’s. “I don’t doubt for one second that you’re my soul mate, Kris…I’m just not so sure that I’m yours.”

“What?” Kris gasped, thrashing his head back and forth.

“Please don’t make this any harder than it already is,” Adam pleaded, trying to hold Kris still. “In the long run, it’ll be better for both of us if I just walk away.”

Kris’s head froze. Closing his eyes, he covered his ears to drown Adam out. “Just go!”

Adam tried to remove Kris’s hands, but without using his full strength – something he didn’t want to do – he wouldn’t be able to. Adam recognized this immediately and dropped his hands. He wasn’t going to force Kris to listen to him. It wouldn’t help. Leaning in, he kissed Kris on the lips, only to be swatted away by his hand. “I’m sorry.”

Kris reached out and hit him again. “Just go! Go! Go! Go!”

Standing to his feet, he stood by the edge of the bed for a few minutes in the hope that Kris would uncover his ears or at least look at him. He did neither. Leaning down, he placed a kiss on the top of Kris’s head and walked towards the door.

“What about what I want?” Kris spat angrily.

Adam placed his hand on the doorknob and stopped. Swinging around, he looked at Kris and took a deep breath. “Do you even know what you want, Kris?” he asked, searching Kris’s face for any sign of hope he might see. “Because if you can tell me…right here and now…what you want and can be totally sure of what you want, I’ll be more than glad to listen.”

Kris’s head dropped for only a moment before he lifted it again and met Adam’s gaze.

There was no sign of anything.

No sign of hope.

“That’s what I thought,” Adam mumbled, tears pouring from his eyes. Walking towards Kris, Adam stood at the edge of the bed. “You once told me that I couldn’t understand what you were g-going through because I never had to let anyone go.”

Kris’s eyes remained locked with his.

“And you were r-right,” he added, nodding his head. “But now I do know and if this is anything like what you’ve been going through since B-Brian’s been back…” he trailed, stopping to catch his breath. “Then I’m sorry I didn’t put an end to this sooner because my heart not only feels l-like it’s breaking in two…but I honestly feel like I can barely breathe right now.” Placing his hand on his heart, he winced in pain as he tried to catch his breath again. “Is this how you’ve been feeling all along?”

With that said, Kris’s hands flew up to his face as he broke down and sobbed uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through…please believe that.”

“P-please,” Kris mumbled through his hands.

Making his way to Kris, Adam dropped back to the bed and gathered Kris up again in his arms. The feeling that he was experiencing was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. He felt hopeless and lost and no matter how much he tried to fill his lungs with oxygen, he couldn’t breathe.

His hands tangled themselves in Kris’s hair, a last attempt to hang on to something in order to stop what was happening. But there was no stopping the inevitable and the inevitable was sucking the life right out from him.

It was time to finally put it to rest.

Together, they sat, still clinging to one another, while they cried. “You said that you’ve been t-thinking too these last two weeks,” he mumbled into Kris’s hair. “What did you want to tell me?”

Kris didn’t say anything for a few moments and when he finally did, it was just a low rumble, “I think you pretty much covered it.”

Pulling Kris away from him, Adam looked him straight in the eyes. “You know why I’m doing this, right?”

Kris closed his eyes and slightly nodded.

“I need to take myself out of the equation to make it easier for everyone involved.”

When Kris’s eyes opened, Adam almost had the wind knocked right out of him. Those brown eyes bore into his. Where there was once love and happiness, he could now only see hate and bitterness. It was that fast.

“You should probably go,” Kris whispered.

“Yeah, I probably should.”

“Give me a couple of days and I’ll have all my things moved out of your house.”

Adam gasped for air. He felt like Kris was taking this the wrong way now and it hurt. “Fuck…Kris…this is your house too,” he mumbled, running his fingers along Kris’s jaw. “Take as much time as you need or if you want to stay…that’s okay too.”

Kris closed his eyes again briefly and pulled his head back slightly so that Adam’s fingers hung in mid-air. Once Kris’s eyes reopened, he began biting his bottom lip. “This was never my house, Adam…not really.”

Adam’s hand reached out and wrapped around Kris’s neck, pulling him closer. “Don’t say that…” Leaning in, he pressed his lips against Kris’s, hard. He thought he would have to force his way into Kris’s mouth, but he didn’t. Kris’s lips immediately opened and his hand quickly swung up and landed in Adam’s hair, where he fisted a handful and pulled Adam in even closer.

When Kris pulled away seconds later, he took his fingers and gently ran them along his swollen lips. Looking at Adam through semi-closed eyelids, he gave him a weak smile. “I love you.”

“Not half as much as I love you,” Adam whispered back, taking Kris’s hand and bringing it to his lips. Getting up from bed, he let go of his hand. “Don’t ever forget that.”

Slowly, Adam made his way to the door and resisted the urge to turn around. He couldn’t look back. There could be no turning back.  
Opening the door, he quickly noticed Brian leaning up against the wall across the hall. Again, he resisted his urges.

Only this time, his urge was to beat Brian into the ground.

Giving Brian a half-hearted smile, he turned around and pointed to Kris, who was doubled over and sobbing. “He’s all yours." Taking a deep breath, he stepped closer to him and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "You won by default, Brian...don't ever forget that." Straightening up, he took one last glance over his shoulder and towards his husband, his heart pounding faster with every second he lingered. Turning around, he shook his head. "If you ever hurt Kris, in any way, shape or form..." Adam trailed, trying to control his emotions, but knowing deep down that he was failing miserably, he narrowed his eyes, "I'll hunt your ass down."

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

 

“Adam!” Monte yelled, “Come on…everyone’s waiting!”

Adam glanced back at Monte and held up his finger. “Hang on,” he mouthed, refusing to yell back. They all could wait as far as he was concerned.

Waving Monte off, he returned his attention towards the TV monitor and watched as CNN wrapped up their interview with the thirteen Prisoners of War from Desert Storm. He’d caught a quick glimpse of Kris sitting amongst the crowd once already. If he waited long enough, maybe he would be lucky enough to catch another glimpse.

Even though it’d only been a mere two months since letting Kris go, it felt like a lifetime.

_“So, if you had to choose just one thing that kept you going year in and year out, what would you nail it down to?”_

_Each of the thirteen men looked to each other first before returning their attention to the man interviewing them._

_“Family.”_

_“Definitely family.”_

_“Being reunited with my family.”_

_“Family and friends.”_

_“My children.”_

_“It would have to be my parents.”_

_“Oh yeah, definitely the parents.”_

_“Life.”_

_“Friends.”_

_“Family.”_

_“Seeing my children again.”_

_“Loved ones.”_

_Brian clasped his hands together and smiled. “Knowing that my loved ones would be there waiting for me to come home.”_

Adam’s hand reached out to touch the television monitor, waiting for the moment when the cameraman panned the audience again. And when it happened, only moments later, he slowly dragged his fingers across Kris’s face.

There he was.

Again.

Kristopher Allen Whitwam Lambert.

Still his husband, but in name only.

Adam fought the urge to bend down and kiss the screen. Instead, he smiled and closed his eyes. He promised himself that he’d only remember the good times. And even though he only had Kris for a short time, he thanked the universe every day for bringing Kris into his life.

Without Kris, Adam would’ve never have know what true love was all about.

Without Kris, Adam would still be wondering whether or not love at first sight existed.

And without Kris, Adam would find a way to go on.

Kris was moving on with his life.

Now, it was time for Adam to do the same.

Opening his eyes, he brought his hand to his mouth and kissed his fingers before placing them back on Kris’s face.

“I will never forget you, Kris,” Adam whispered. “Never.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure this is the actual ending. I have ideas for a possible sequel but nothing is final yet. If the sequel doesn't happen for some reason, I hope this is good enough on its own. I loved writing this story so very much.Thank you for sticking around, reading and commenting. You are so awesome. I appreciate it so very much. *hugs*


End file.
